Choosing Myself: Hawa Who’s Journey to Authenticity and Empowerment

Hawa Who, the co-founder of Keep Calm, shares a powerful narrative of self-discovery, resilience, and the liberating journey of choosing oneself over societal expectations. Growing up in a conservative home, Hawa was constantly nudged to conform to predefined norms and roles that felt alien to her true self. “You have to dress like this, uphold this image,” were the directives that clouded her youth, sowing seeds of confusion and a deep sense of being unloved and unwanted for who she truly was.

Hawa’s environment was rife with comments that boxed her into traditional gender roles, critiquing her for being “too loud” and dictating how she should dress. Yet, her spirit remained untamed. She found joy in the simplicity of soccer shorts and the freedom of playing sports, undeterred by the voices that questioned her femininity. “I knew I was always going to be who I wanted to be, not what anyone wanted me to be,” Hawa asserts, echoing the inner strength that guided her through the tumultuous waves of judgment and expectation.

At 20, the pressure to marry as a symbol of ‘accomplishment’ weighed heavily on her, a path she initially pursued to make her mother happy. However, the realization dawned on her that this was not her truth. The prospective marriage, which didn’t materialize, would have bound her to a life of misery with a partner whose views starkly contradicted her beliefs in equality and individual freedom.

The turning point in Hawa’s journey came through her engagement with mental health workshops and therapy, where she invested years in unraveling her identity and understanding her emotions. It was a period marked by pain and isolation, as she chose to distance herself from her family to heal and break the cycle of recurring issues that plagued their interactions for over two decades.

This period of introspection and deliberate distancing was instrumental in Hawa’s path to building healthier relationships and establishing boundaries that respected her peace and autonomy. “There was a lot of pain going on,” Hawa reflects, acknowledging the emotional labor involved in redefining her relationships with both her immediate and extended family.

Hawa’s story is a testament to the power of self-awareness and the courage to stand in one’s truth, even when it means walking away from the familiar to forge a path of authenticity and self-respect. Her journey highlights the importance of mental health awareness, the value of therapeutic intervention, and the transformative impact of choosing oneself in a world that often demands conformity.

For anyone grappling with the weight of societal expectations and the struggle to find their authentic voice, Hawa’s narrative serves as a beacon of hope and a reminder that true empowerment lies in embracing one’s individuality and charting a course that aligns with one’s inner values and aspirations.

Hawa Who’s journey from conforming to her conservative upbringing to embracing her true self is a powerful testament to the strength of authenticity. For those navigating similar struggles, here are some practical tips inspired by Hawa’s experience to help you find your path and stand firm in your identity:

1. Embrace Self-Reflection: Like Hawa, invest time in understanding who you are beyond societal labels and expectations. Journaling, meditation, or simply spending quiet time alone can help you connect with your inner self.
2. Seek Supportive Communities: Surround yourself with people who uplift and support your true self. Engaging in groups, workshops, or online communities with shared interests or experiences can provide a sense of belonging and validation.
3. Set Healthy Boundaries: Learning to say no and setting limits with family and friends is crucial. It’s okay to distance yourself from situations or relationships that drain your energy or challenge your peace.
4. Prioritize Mental Health: Hawa’s involvement in mental health workshops and therapy was pivotal. Don’t hesitate to seek professional help to navigate your feelings and experiences. Therapy can provide tools and strategies to cope with pressure and build resilience.
5. Celebrate Small Wins: Each step towards being more authentic is an achievement. Acknowledge and celebrate these moments, no matter how small they may seem. They are significant milestones in your journey.
6. Educate Yourself and Others: Knowledge is empowering. Educate yourself about emotional well-being and self-care. Sharing what you learn can also help others understand your perspective and support you better.
7. Stay True to Your Interests: Just as Hawa found joy in sports, identify activities that make you happy and engage in them regularly. Your hobbies and interests are an integral part of your identity.
8. Embrace Vulnerability: Being open about your struggles, like Hawa sharing her story, can be liberating. It can also encourage others to open up and create deeper, more meaningful connections.
9. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself during this process. Change and self-discovery can be challenging, and it’s essential to treat yourself with the same compassion and understanding you would offer a friend.
10. Remember Your Worth: Your value is not determined by others’ opinions or societal standards. Like Hawa, believe in your worth independently of external validation or achievements.

Navigating life while staying true to oneself, especially in the face of conflicting societal expectations, is a courageous journey. Hawa Who’s story reminds us that while this path may not be easy, it is incredibly rewarding and essential for personal growth and happiness.