I dey start again, and e count

I dey start today, and na dis one I go finish. No be say I ready. I don wait for ready almost my whole life and ready neva show face by imsef even once. I dey start because na me take di decision, and decision na sometin wey I dey make, no be sometin wey I dey sidon wait make dem give me. Morning still dey young, di room quiet, nobody dey look, and na only dat kain condition dis tin ever need. Di version wey dey work dey begin inside di next five minutes.

One cup dey beside me and di steam dey waka sideways inside di light. My hand warm as I hold am. For outside, person dey waka wit im dog and neither of dem dey rush. Di building dey make dat small sound wey e dey make before anybody else wake. Notin about dis morning look like di beginning of anytin. Na exactly so di beginning of sometin dey look, every time, for every person wey don ever do am.

I don start dis tin before. Plenty pipo dey hear dat kain tok and dem go take am count demsef down. E no be black mark for my head, na data wey nobody else get. Every try wey stop hand me one exact tin: di hour wey my head dey sharp pass, di point inside di week wey tiredness dey catch me, di excuse wey I dey first run go meet and come dress up like reason. Di reason why to start again dey shame person na because I dey measure mysef against person wey neva try at all, and dat kain person no learn even one small tin. I no dey behind am. I dey im front, and na map of ground wey e neva waka I dey carry.

Na dis part I bin hold upside down for years. I bin tink say motivation na di fuel and di work na di engine, so I just sidon dey wait make dem fill me up. Na di opposite side e dey work. Motivation na payment wey dey come afta di work, no be sometin wey dem dey hand person before e start. To dey wait until mind gree, dat one na plan wey neva work for anybody, and I don run dat experiment plenty times sotay I no fit call di result bad luck again. Di confidence wey I dey wait for dey manufacture for di oda side of di first five minutes, e no dey dis side at all. So na di five minutes go first, and di feeling go follow from behind, di way e dey always do.

So today I go do di smallest version wey dey exist. Five minutes. Even if e do anyhow, if na anyhow today carry. No be di whole plan, no be di fine version wey I go take yan person for party, na just di piece wey fit enter di life wey I get for hand, no be di life wey I dey always plan for. I go put am for place wey my eye go see am tomorrow, because na di second day dey decide dis tin, and afta dat, I go begin.

Dis one quiet pass wetin I expect. E no be celebration. E steady, and na di steady one dey last. I fit start as many times as e go take, and dat count neva matter to anybody except mysef. Today na one of dem. Today e count. E dey always count, na me just be di last person wey count am.