I make someting wit my hands

My hands stay busy and my head wen go quiet in one way um nevah manage all week. I going do dis on purpose from now on, instead of stumbling into um once one season and getting surprised by how good um work. Dat not one mood dat wen arrive. Dass one ting I wen do, and tings I do can get repeated. Twenty minutes wit my hands wen do wat one whole week of trying fo tink my way calm no could do.

Get someting undah my fingers wit actual texture on um. One little mess on top da table. Notting in hea need one password, notting in hea get one notification, and notting in hea going update itself ovahnight into one slightly mo worse version of itself. My hands know wat dey doing slightly befo I know.

Everyting I make lately stay made out of pixels and disappear wen da screen go off. I nevah wen notice dat mattering till um did, and den um wen mattah plenny and all at once. Get one difference between work dat leave one trace and work dat only leave one record, and I been living almos entirely on top da second kine. One whole day of um can feel like notting wen happen, even wen plenny did, cuz get notting standing inside da room aftahwards fo prove um. I been ending days unable fo point at notting.

Making someting physical use one part of me dat notting else reach. Um no gotta be good. Um gotta be real and inside my hands. Da reason dis work, dat not mystical even little bit. My attention finally get given somewea fo go dat not one screen and not my own tinking, and turns out one big share of wat I been calling stress, dass simply attention wit nowea useful fo land. Give um one job and um stop circling.

So I going give twenty minutes to someting physical, wit no screen nowea near um. Whatevah stay at hand count. Bread, one plant, one broken ting, one pencil, one wall dat need painting. Da standard, dat not quality and dat not usefulness. Da standard, dass um exist inside da room wen I pau wit um.

Get someting dat exist now dat nevah exist dis morning, and I wen make um. Dass one good ting fo end one day on top.