I going reach da friend I wen lose track of

We stay talking again, and um wen take about four seconds fo stop being awkward. Four seconds. I going remembah dat numbah da next time I let someting go quiet, cuz four seconds, dass da ting I was so scared of dat I wen avoid um fo two years. Two years against four seconds, dat not one trade anybody would make on purpose. I wen make um by default, and dass how dese trades always get made. Um nevah was one rupture. Was drift, and drift stay way mo easy fo reverse den anybody believe while dey stay inside um.

Get one voice I nevah hear fo one long time saying my name in da ordinary way. Notting gotta get explained. We awready stay three subjects in and not one of dem was da gap. Somebody dog stay barking in da background on dea side and dey apologize fo um, and dass da mos normal ting dat wen happen to me all week.

Notting wen happen between us. Dass somehow mo worse, cuz get no story fo point at and no injury fo repair. I wen let someting good go quiet tru pure inattention, and den da silence itself wen come embarrassing, and da embarrassment wen come da reason fo mo silence. Nobody keep score on dis da way I wen imagine dey mus be. I wen assign dem one running tally dey nevah was keeping, and den wen treat my own invention like one reason fo not call. Dass one closed loop wit no exit built inside um, and um going run till somebody interrupt um from da outside.

Da oddah person almos certainly was waiting fo exactly da same two sentences. Dass da part dat should be obvious and nevah is, cuz I can only see my own side of da silence, and mine look like guilt while dea own look like indifference. Dat not indifference. Dass da identical loop running inside one different house, wit da same tought inside um. Somebody gotta go first, and going first cost notting except being briefly da one who look like dey care mo. Dat nevah once was one real cost. Um only look like one from dis side of da message.

So I going send two sentences. I been tinking about you. I like catch up. No excuse and no apology fo da gap, cuz one apology make da gap da subject of da conversation, and da gap not da subject. Da friendship, dass da subject. I not going explain wea I been fo two years. Nobody eva wen like dat explanation.

Back in touch. Um nevah was as far gone as da silence wen make um look, and um nevah is.