I stay putting down wat not mine fo carry

My shoulders wen come down from wea dey been living. Someting I was holding not inside my hands no moa. I going be plenny mo careful about wat I pick up from hea, cuz now I know exactly wat um cost fo carry someting fo one year wen I nevah even wen agree fo carry um. Nobody wen drop um on me. I wen reach out and take um, and I can put um back down da same way. Nobody wen ask me fo hold um. I wen offah, one time, silent, years ago, and nevah wen revisit da offah.

I can hear da room. Get one clock somewea dat I wen stop noticing, and um been dea da whole time, doing exactly dis. Da quiet not new. My capacity fo hear um, dass wat new. I keep noticing my hands stay empty and finding um little bit strange instead of good, and I figure dat going pass by da weekend. Get room inside my hands now fo someting I actually wen choose fo pick up.

I been carrying at least one ting dat nevah was mine. I wen pick um up cuz nobody else was going, and den um quietly wen come my job forevah, and dass how almos every one of dese transfers actually happen. Nevah had one conversation about um. Had one gap, and I wen fill um, and filling um one time wen get read by everybody, me included, like one agreement fo fill um always. Being da reliable one, dass one genuinely good trait wit one real expensive failure mode. Nobody going hand um back, cuz nobody know dey stay holding da oddah end of um. Da moment I wen make myself indispensable, I wen also make myself unable fo stop. And da longah I wen hold um, da mo um look like mine to everybody watching, me included.

Putting um down, dat not abandoning nobody. Dass being honest about whose um is, and dat honesty, dass da only route wea um eva get handled propah by da person um belong to. While I stay carrying um, dey nevah find out um belong to dem. My help was quietly postponing da moment dey would pick um up demselves. Dat mattah way mo den um sound, cuz um mean setting um down, dat not da selfish option. Dass da useful one, and I been calling um da opposite fo years. Carrying somebody else responsibility, dat not generosity. Dass one slow way of telling dem I no tink dey can handle um.

So I going name one ting dat belong to somebody else, out loud or on paper, and I going set um down. Jus da one, today. Not one renegotiation of everyting, not one hard conversation about da las five years, not one new policy fo da whole house. One ting, named and released, and I stay allowed fo feel uncomfortable about um fo one while wit no picking um right back up fo make da discomfort stop.

Mo light. Not cuz less stay happening, but cuz less of um stay mine.