I taking back one quiet hour

Get one hour today dat belong to me. Not da leftovah minutes at da end of everyting else, one actual hour, wen pick on purpose and den defended. Nobody wen give me dis hour. I wen take um, and da taking, dass da part dat had fo change. I going take one of dese every week fo da rest of my life, and I going stop calling um one indulgence wen somebody ask wat I stay doing wit um.

Da door stay closed. My phone stay in one oddah room being somebody else problem fo one while. Get one cup going cold nex to me cuz I wen forget about um completely, and dass um own kine proof dat someting real was happening in hea. I nevah talk to nobody fo fifty minutes and um nevah cost one single person notting.

I wen give dis hour away fo years and nevah notice. Um wen go out in small pieces to people who nevah even ask fo um and would not miss um, and dass da part dat sting da most. Nobody wen take um from me. I wen hand um ovah, one yes at a time, cuz every single yes was too small fo be worth defending, and not one of dem eva wen look like da moment fo draw one line. Da small requests, dose da dangerous ones. One hour get refused. Ten minutes get granted six times one day. Dass how one life get spent wit nobody eva deciding fo spend um.

One hour, dat not selfish. Dass da ting dat make me useful fo da oddah twenty three. Everybody I care about get one bettah version of me on da far side of um, which mean protecting um, dat not someting I do instead of showing up fo dem. Dass da ting dat let me show up at all. Dis not time taken away from da people who mattah. Dass da maintenance dat make me worth dea time. Da people who lose da least from dis hour, dey da ones I love da most, and I wen have dat backwards fo one whole decade.

So I going block one hour dis week, inside da calendar, wit one name on um. Da name mattah, cuz one block wit no name get moved and one wit one name get respected, me included. Den I going tell one person dat um taken awready, cuz saying um out loud, dass wat turn one intention into one fact dat oddah people gotta route around. One hour nobody know about, dass one hour dat get quietly reassigned by Wednesday aftahnoon.

One hour dass mine. I nevah had fo earn um, and I no gotta justify um to nobody, myself included, and I was da las one fo get convinced.