Get plenny more time den you been telling yourself

You keep telling yourself you no more time, and some of dat is for real true. Da morning stay quiet enough fo look at da rest of da day honest kine. Get one cup, and one clock on da wall, and one whole day dat goin get spent one way o anodda whether o not anybody stay paying attention to wea um going.

One phone face down, litto bit warm. One calendar wit way more white space den da week actually wen feel like. Somewea down below, one door, den footsteps. Da light stay climbing up da wall, same old unhurried pace.

Time no just vanish, um get spent, and spent so quiet dat um feel like um missing. Dat difference right dea is da whole ting: one hour lost in ten minute pieces no leave no memory behind, so da day for real feel shorta den um was, and you not lying when you say had none. But da hours wen go someplace specific and not fancy at all, and da reason you no can see um is cuz nothing about um wen get chosen, so nothing about um wen get noticed eitha. Wat you stay short of, dass not time. Dass one record of um.

Try da accountant kine question instead of da moral one. No ask if you wen waste da day, cuz dat only make you feel guilty and no give you nothing useful. Ask wea four hours actually wen go, cuz dat give you da opposite. Nobody can manage one budget dey neva even open, and you been running yours fo years on nothing but one feeling. Da point not fo find fault. Da point is one day you can see is one day you can spend on purpose, and almost nobody evah bodda look.

So today, write down four hours as dey happen. No need fancy, one line each time. No need judge, no need clean um up, no need make plan wit um. Just da plain record of wea dose hours wen really go, so tomorrow you stay working from one real number instead of one mood.

Get more of um den da feeling stay telling you. Not everything you like, and not enough fo do everything, but more, and um been sitting dea unread fo years.