Afotusɛm ntiantia
- Decide the one point beforehand.
- Open with the facts, not a verdict.
- Say your piece, then stop talking.
Asɛm bi te wo koko mu seesei. Ebia ɛyɛ dadwen a ɛfa nhyehyɛe bi a ɛte sɛ nea ɛho yɛ obiara fɛ. Ebia ɛyɛ aane a wode brɛ ase ma ɛbɛyɛ ebia. Ebia ɛyɛ nyansakyerɛ a wode obi ka na wokɔ so mene. Woasua no wɔ aguaree mu. Woakyerɛw nkrasɛm no mprɛnsa. Na afei bere no ba na ebi a, ɛmfi mu koraa, anaasɛ efi mu a ano yɛ den sen sɛnea wopɛɛ.
Saa ntam kwan no, nea wopɛɛ sɛ woka ne nea ɛbaa ampa no ntam, yɛ nneɛma a ɛhaw nnipa komm a ɛtaa ba a wɔde kɔ adwuma ne fie mu. Kasa komm yɛ nimdeɛ a ɛto mu. Ɛfata sɛ wusua, efisɛ ka a wobɛyɛ komm no bo no nyɛ hwee. Ɛtu kwan kɛkɛ. Ɛdan abufuw, anaa ɔhaw a enye sen so akyiri yi, anaa anadwo tenten a wode kasa a woanka no san si w'ani so.
Akwan abien a ɛtaa kɔ bɔne so
Yɛn mu dodow no ara kɔ akwan abien a ɛsɛe mu biako so wɔ nhyɛso ase, na ɛte sɛ nea ɛbɔ abira nanso efi baabi koro.
Nea edi kan ne sɛ wuyi wo ano. Woka kyerɛ wo ho sɛ ɛho nhia, wompɛ sɛ woyɛ basabasa, wode bɛpagyaw no bere foforo. Nea ɛhyɛ ase no taa yɛ ehu: ɔham, mfomso, anaa sɛ wobehu wo sɛ obi a ɔyɛ den. Dadwen no nkɔ baabiara. Ɛda hɔ ara.
Nea ɛto so abien ne sɛ wo bo fuw. Nhyɛso no si kosi sɛ ebehwie agu, na nkrasɛm no ba a abufuw akyekyere ho. Afei obi foforo no rebɔ ne ho ban sen sɛ ɔbɛtie wo, na asɛm titiriw no yera.
Ɔkwan a ɛda mfimfini wɔ hɔ, na ɛwɔ din. Ayaresafo frɛ no nkitahodi a tumi wɔ mu (assertive communication): woka nea wususuw, nea wuhia, anaa nea wote nka tee na obu mu, a womfa nhyɛ obiara so na womma wo ho nyera. Mayo Clinic kyerɛkyerɛ mu sɛ ɛyɛ kwan a ɛda nea wuyi wo ano koraa ne nea wo bo fuw ntam, na wɔbɔ ade bi a ɛyɛ mmerɛw sɛ wobɛhwere ho ban. Sɛ wusua sɛ wobɛkasa na tumi wɔ mu no nyɛ pa mma nkɔmmɔ no nko. Eye ma wo. Ɛbata ahokyere kakraa, abufuw so a wuhu yiye, ne ahofadi a etim ho, efisɛ wugyae nneɛma a woanka da no nyinaa soa.
Adɛn nti na w'ahotɔ sesa sɛ wɔbɛtie wo anaa
Biribi nti na ɛnne ho hia te sɛ asɛm a ɛwɔ mu no ara. Bere a wode abufuw ba no, obi foforo no asraafo a ɛko tia kwaadebɔ no nyan ansa na ne nyansa anyan. Wɔboaboa wɔn ho. Wogyae tie na wofi ase siesie mmuae a wɔde betia. Wubetumi ayɛ nokware koraa nanso woahwere ɔdan no, efisɛ nkrasɛm no su no maa asɛm titiriw no yam.
Bere a wode ahotɔ ba no, woma obi foforo no kwan ma ɔtena ne nyansa adwene mu. Ɛno nyɛ nnaadaa. Ɛyɛ obu a ɛma nokware yɛ mmerɛw sɛ wobegye atom. W'akomatɔyam yɛ, wɔ ɔkwan ankasa so, wo nsɛnka no fa bi.
Eyi wɔ ne kwan kɛse wɔ kuw mu. Harvard Business School ɔbenfo Amy Edmondson de mfe pii hwehwɛɛ adɛn nti na nkuw bi hu ɔhaw ntɛm na afoforo gyae ma ɛnyin. Nsonsonoe a ohui ne adwene mu bammɔ (psychological safety): gyidi a wɔn nyinaa kura mu sɛ wobetumi apagyaw dadwen, agye mfomso atom, anaa woabisa asɛm a wɔrentwe wo aso anaa wɔremmrɛ wo ase wɔ ho. Wɔ ne nhwehwɛmu a ɛfaa adwuma nkuw bebree mu no, nkuw a nnipa tee nka sɛ wɔwɔ ahobammɔ sɛ wɔbɛkasa no suaa ade ntɛm na wɔyɛɛ adwuma yiye. Nea kasa yɛɛ wɔn hu no de ɔhaw no siee komm kosii sɛ ɔhaw no boe.
Eyi ne nea ɛho hia ma wo ankasa. Ɛho nhia sɛ wobɛyɛ ɔpanyin ansa na woasakra saa tebea no. Bere biara a wode ahotɔ pagyaw biribi na ɛkɔ yiye no, woma ɛyɛ ahobammɔ kakra ma onipa a odi hɔ no ma ɔyɛ saa ara. Worekyerɛ ɔdan no nea wɔama ho kwan.
Ansa na wubebue w'ano
Ahotɔ no fi ase ansa na nkɔmmɔ no aba, ɛnyɛ ne mu. Ahosiesie simma kakra na ɛyɛ adwuma no dodow no ara.
Hu ade biako no yiye. Ɛnyɛ nneɛma anum. Biako. Asɛm biako bɛn na ɛsɛ sɛ saa onipa yi te ase anaa osi gyinae kɛse paa? Sɛ worentumi nka wɔ asɛm biako mu a, wonsiesiei wo ho ɛ. Kyerɛw to hɔ.
Hu nea wopɛ ankasa. Worebisa nsakrae bi, woreka nsɛm, anaasɛ wuhia kɛkɛ sɛ wobetie wo? Sɛ wobɛbɔ botae no din a, ɛma woannan ankɔ kwaadebɔ mu, nea ɛba bere a yɛnnim nea yɛrehwehwɛ no.
Di kan ma wo nipadua nyɛ komm. Worentumi mfa nyansa nkɔ ahotɔ mu bere a wo nipadua wɔ kɔkɔbɔ mu. Ansa na wobɛhyɛn mu, anaa woafrɛ no, gu ahome biako brɛoo, te wo nan wɔ fam, gyae wo mmati. Ahome a ɛyɛ tenten kyerɛ wo nipadua sɛ ɔhaw no nni ha. Fa simma aduasa ma wo ho na wubedwen yiye bere a efi ase no ara.
Bere no mu
Bere a woawura mu ankasa no, nneyɛe nketenkete kakra ma ɔhyew no si fam a wonyɛ wo sɛ obi a wotia ne so.
- Fi nsɛm a ɛyɛ nokware ase, ɛnyɛ atemmu. "Amanneɛbɔ no kɔɔ a abrabɔ bere a etwaam no akontaabu wom" si wɔ ɔkwan a ɛyɛ soronko sen "Wode akontaabu a enye no kɔɔ bio." Biako bue nkɔmmɔ. Baako fi ntɔkwaw ase.
- Kasa fi w'ankasa w'agua mu. "Mehaw me ho sɛ saa bere yi mma kwan mma sɔhwɛ" yɛ den sɛ wo ne no begye akyinnye, efisɛ woreka w'ankasa w'adwene, ɛnyɛ nokware a ɛfa wiase nyinaa ho na woreda no adi. Ɛsan ma wunni obi foforo no adwene mu nsɛm akyi.
- Ka no pɔtee na ka no tiawa. Nea emu nna hɔ no frɛ ahobammɔ. Nsɛm kakra a atwa asɛm titiriw no ho ahyia no, dodow no ara na ɛba pefee.
- Afei gyae kasa. Eyi na ɛyɛ den sen biara. Sɛ woka wo asɛm wie a, ma komm no ntena. Mfa ahopere mmrɛ no ase, nyi nsan, anaa nhyɛ ntam no ma. Ma obi foforo no kwan ma ommua.
- Gye bere kakra bere a wote sɛ wo ho rehyɛ wo. Sɛ biribi a wɔka pia wo a, ɛho nhia sɛ wubua ntɛm ara. "Ma menwen ho kakra" yɛ asɛm a ɛwɔ ase mu, na ɛtaa wɔ hɔ bere biara.
Worenyɛ eyinom nyinaa pɛpɛɛpɛ. Obiara nyɛ. Botae no nyɛ ɔyɛ a mfomso nni mu. Ɛyɛ sɛ wobɛhwɛ wo ho so so ara ma w'asɛm titiriw no tena nkɔmmɔ no mu.
Bere a enkɔ yiye
Ɛtɔ da a woyɛ biribiara yiye nanso ɛda so kɔ baabi a enye. Obi foforo no boaboa ne ho, anaa obu wo animtiaa, anaa ɔdan no yɛ nwini. Ɛfata sɛ wɔka no pefee, efisɛ ehu a ɛfa eyi ankasa ho na ɛma yɛn mu pii yɛ komm.
Sɛ ɛhyew a, wubetumi abɔ din a worema ɛnnyin. "Minnye nni sɛ yebewie eyi yiye seesei, yebetumi asan aba so?" yɛ ɔkwan a wode firi a ɛyɛ komm, ɛnyɛ nkogu. Sɛ wofi nkɔmmɔ a egyae mfaso a ɛwɔ mu so no mu kɔ no yɛ nimdeɛ, ɛnyɛ huammɔ. Wubetumi asan akɔ so bere biara a obiara ho adwo no.
Na sɛ wohweree wo komatɔyam a? Abusuabɔ dodow no ara tumi tena nkɔmmɔ a ɛnyɛ kama akyi yiye kyɛn sɛ wɔbɛtena ɔtan a wɔde asie komm akyi. "Mebaa a na me bo afuw sen sɛnea mepɛe pɛn ho yi, na mepɛ sɛ mesan yɛ no bio" siesie pii sen sɛnea wususuw. Nnipa kae sɛ wosan baa anaa woanyɛ pɛ.
Bere a kommyɛ no fa ade kɛse bi ho
Nsonsonoe wɔ nkɔmmɔ a emu yɛ den ho hu a ɛyɛ nea ɛtaa ba ne ade a emu yɛ duru bi ntam. Sɛ adwene a wobɛkasa koraa hyɛ wo ehu ma, sɛ woayɛ komm wɔ mmeae a kan no na wowɔ nne, anaa sɛ wokommyɛ abɛyɛ ɔkwan a wofa so tena ahobammɔ mu wɔ abusuabɔ anaa adwuma a ɛnte sɛ ɛho yɛ dwoodwoo mu a, ɛno fata sɛ wofa no aniberesɛm.
Ehu a wɔbɛkasa betumi ayɛ sɛnkyerɛnne a ɛfa ɔham a akwan pa kakra rentumi nka ho. Ebetumi nso ayɛ mmuae a ɛfata wɔ tebea bi a ɛho nyɛ dwoodwoo ankasa ho, na sɛ wobɛkyerɛ saa abien no ntam nsonsonoe a, ɛtɔ da a egye ani foforo. Ɔbenfo (therapist) betumi aboa wo ma wakyekye nimdeɛ no wɔ baabi a nea ɛhyia no nyɛ kɛse. Sɛ kommyɛ abɛyɛ ahobammɔ kwan wɔ abusuabɔ a wote nka sɛ wɔhyɛ wo so anaa wusuro mu a, ɛno yɛ bere a ɛsɛ sɛ wode wo nsa to mmoa a ɛkyɛn nea wode yɛ wo ho so atwerɛ ho, fi obi a wowɔ ne mu ahotoso anaa ɔbenfo a ɔyɛ eyi ho adwuma hɔ.
Mmere dodow no ara, nso, asɛm a ɛwɔ wo koko mu no sua sen ehu a atwa ho ahyia no. Ɛhia sɛ wɔka no pefee kɛkɛ, ɛdenam obi a ne ho dwo no a ɔbɛka so. Ɛno betumi ayɛ wo. Ɛyɛ nimdeɛ, na te sɛ nimdeɛ biara, ɛyɛ mmerɛw bere biara a nea enye koraa no amma.
Nsɛm a wɔfaa fii
- Mayo Clinic, Being assertive: Reduce stress, communicate better
- Amy C. Edmondson, Psychological Safety
- Amy Edmondson, Psychological Safety and Learning Behavior in Work Teams (Administrative Science Quarterly)
- Harvard Business School Working Knowledge, In Tough Times, Psychological Safety Is an Asset, Not a Luxury