Afotusɛm ntiantia
- Put the phone face-down and away.
- Say back the gist before responding.
- Ask before offering your advice.
Fa no sɛ obi reka da bi a emu yɛ den ho asɛm kyerɛ wo. Worebɔ wo ti ase. Woreyɛ nnyegyeɛ a ɛfata. Na baabi wɔ w'ani akyi no, woretwerɛ wo mmuaeɛ dada, woresi gyinae sɛ ɔteɛ anaa, woregyina asɛm a eyi kae wo no. Wote sɛ nea wuretie. Nokware ne sɛ wonte. Woretwɛn wo bere.
Yɛn nyinaa atena eyi afanu nyinaa so pɛn. Ade a ɛyɛ nwonwa ne sɛnea ɛyɛ mmerɛw sɛ wubehu bere a wɔreyɛ wo, ne sɛnea ɛyɛ den sɛ wobɛkyere wo ho sɛ woreyɛ. Tie ankasa yɛ adeɛ a ɛho yɛ na sen sɛnea yɛsusu, na ɛkwan a ɛda sɛ wobɛyɛ sɛ wuretie ne sɛ wobɛtie ankasa ntam no ne baabi a ahotoso pii kɔ komm wu.
Asɛmpa no ne sɛ eyi yɛ suahunu, ɛnyɛ akyɛdeɛ. Wobetumi ayɛ no yiye a wobetumi asusu, na nnipa a wɔatwa wo ho ahyia bɛte nsonsonoeɛ no nka ntɛm.
Deɛ yɛtaa yɛ mmom
Bere a obi de biribi brɛ yɛn no, deɛ yɛtaa yɛ ne sɛ yɛsiesie. Adwumayɛyɔnko bi ka ɔhaw bi ho asɛm na yɛhuruw kɔ nsiesie so ansa na wawie kasasin no. Adamfo bi ka n'akoma mu nsɛm na yɛde afotuo a ɔmmisaa ma no. Ɛfi baabi pa. Yɛpɛ sɛ yɛboa, na sɛ yɛma mmuaeɛ a, ɛyɛ sɛ ɔboa.
Mpɛn pii no ɛnyɛ nea wɔhia seesei. Nnipa a wɔte nka sɛ wɔrepia wɔn kɔ nsiesie so no taa te nka sɛ wɔredi wɔn so sen sɛ wɔretie wɔn, na wɔgyae sɛ wɔde nneɛma ankasa bɛbrɛ wo. Adeyɛ a ɛtaa ba foforɔ no mu da hɔ kɛse. Yɛtie kosi sɛ yebenya yɛn ankasa yɛn asɛm ho ka, ade a yebetumi de aba ho. "O, ɛno baa me nso so." Afei yɛreka yɛn ho ho asɛm na ɔfoforɔ no rebɔ ne ti ase, resua sɛ ɔremmisa bio bere foforɔ.
Kevin Sharer, a ɔhwɛɛ nkwagye-nyansahu adwumakuw Amgen so mfeɛ pii no, aka no pefee sɛnea ɛgyee no bere tenten ansa na wasua eyi. N'adwumayɛ mfitiaseɛ no, n'akwan, sɛnea ɔno ankasa ka no, ne sɛ ɔbɛyɛ obi a onim nyansa sen biara wɔ ɔdan no mu na wakyerɛ wɔ simma enum a edi kan mu. Ɛgyee no bere tenten ansa na wahu sɛnea saa gyinabea no maa ɔbɔɔ ka, kɔkɔbɔ ne adwene pa ahe na ankodu ne nkyɛn efisɛ na watete obiara a atwa ne ho ahyia sɛ ɔnte hwee ankasa.
Adɛn nti na sɛ wotie obi a, ɛyɛ no biribi
Nhwehwɛmu pii wɔ hɔ a ɛfa deɛ ɛba bere a nnipa te nka ankasa sɛ wɔtie wɔn wɔ adwuma mu ho, na adehunu no yɛ nwonwa sen sɛnea wobɛsusu. Bere a adwumayɛfoɔ te nka sɛ wɔtie wɔn no, wɔpɛ sɛ wɔka ɔhaw ho asɛm kɛse, wɔn bo si pi kɛse, wɔn ho pere wɔn kɛse. Bere a wɔte nka sɛ wɔnntie wɔn no, deɛ ɛne no bɔ abira no ba. Nnipa yɛ komm, wɔtwe wɔn ho, na wɔgyae sɛ wɔbɛkyerɛ nsɛm korɔ no a ɔkannifoɔ hia kɛse no. Adwumayɛni baako wɔ nhwehwɛmu bi a ɛfa adwuma mu tie ho mu boaboaa adeyɛ no nyinaa ano wɔ kasasin baako a ɛfa ɔpanyin a ɔmmua mu: sɛ me ne wo rentumi nkɔ baabiara a, adɛn nti na mmom mɛyɛ mmɔden koraa.
Ɛno ne tie a ɛnyɛ pa no ka a ahintaw. Ɛnyɛ sɛ atenka pira nko ara. Ɛyɛ sɛ nsɛm a ɛyɛ nokware no ho a ɛda wo so no twe. Kɔkɔbɔ a edi kan, nsusuwii a ɛnnya nyɛɛ pɛyɛ, dwene a ɛyɛ komm a anka ebegye wo nkwa, eyinom du wo nkyɛn bere a nnipa a wɔkura no gye di sɛ ɛho hia sɛ wɔbɔ mmɔden ka kyerɛ wo nko ara.
Biribi ba ɔkasafoɔ no nso so. Sɛ wotie obi yiye a, ɛtew n'ahobammɔ a ɔde siesie ne ho no so. Bere a yɛte nka sɛ yɛwɔ ahobammɔ mu na wɔnnbu yɛn atɛn no, yɛsusu kasa mu wɔ nokware mu kɛse, yɛkura yɛn ankasa adwene mu denneennen kakra, na yebetumi mpo ahu yɛn nsusuwii no afa a ɛnnya nyɛɛ pɛyɛ. Tie pa ntena nsɛm boaboa ano nko ara. Ɛboa ɔfoforɔ no ma odwen yiye bere a ɔrekasa.
Sɛnea woyɛ no ankasa
Tie ankasa fa ho yɛ baabi a wowɔ sen kwan a wofa so, nanso suban kakra a emu da hɔ ma ɛyɛ deɛ ɛbɛyɛ adwuma kɛse. Sɔ eyinom hwɛ.
- Si gyinae sɛ w'adwuma korɔ ne sɛ wobɛte aseɛ. Ansa na nkɔmmɔdie no, gyae botaeɛ a ɛse wubebua yiye, wubedi nkonim, anaa wobɛsiesie. Bɔ mmɔden sɛ wobɛfi hɔ a wubetumi akyerɛkyerɛ wɔn adwene mu pɛpɛɛpɛ a wɔbɛka sɛ "aane, ɛno ara." Saa nsakraeɛ baako no sesa biribiara a edi akyi.
- Ma kommyɛ ntena hɔ. Bere a wɔwie no, twɛn simma mmienu ansa na woakasa. Ɛte sɛ daapem. Ɛka kyerɛ wɔn sɛ na woregye no ankasa, na ɛtaa twe ade a ɛho hia kɛse a na wɔreboaboa wɔn ho ano sɛ wɔbɛka no fi mu.
- Da no adi ansa na woabua. San ka asɛm no mu titiriw wɔ wo ankasa wo kasa mu. "Enti deɛ ɛhaw wo ankasa ne bere no, ɛnyɛ adwuma no ankasa anaa?" Ɛbɛyɛ wo nwonwa sɛnea wuhu mu kakra a ɛnteɛ mpɛn pii, ne sɛnea wɔn ani sɔ sɛ wo ho kaeɛ a enti wohwɛeɛ.
- Bisa asɛmmisa baako bio sen sɛ wobɛma mmuaeɛ. "Ɛdeɛn na ɛbɛma eyi ayɛ yiye?" anaa "Ka ho asɛm pii." Pɛ a wopɛ sɛ wuhu ade gyaa kasa no wɔ wɔn nsa mu, faako a ɛsɛ sɛ ɛwɔ.
- Kora afotuo no kosi sɛ wɔbɛpɛ. Bere a ɔpɛ a ɛse wobɛsiesie no foro no, di kan bisa: "Wopɛ sɛ wususu eyi ho, anaa wopɛ m'adwene?" Mpɛn pii no wɔpɛ deɛ edi kan no.
Hwɛ wo nipadua, ɛnyɛ wo nsɛm nko ara. Telefon anim kata fam na ɛmmɛn. Dane fa wɔn so. Ma w'anim nyɛ biribi. Nnipa kenkan tie denam nsɛnkyerɛnneɛ nketewa ɔha so, na sɛ wobɛyɛ saa atosɛm no yɛ den sen sɛ wobɛyɛ aniberesɛm kɛkɛ.
Kɔkɔbɔ tiawa bi a ɛfa tie ho atosɛm ho. Wobetumi asua ti a wokyim ne "mm-hmm" na wode adi dwuma sɛ ntadeɛ bere a w'adwene rekyinkyin. Nnipa te no nka. Ɛyɛ bɔne sen sɛ wontie koraa, efisɛ seesei nnaadaa ada aniberebu a ɛda hɔ no so. Nneyɛeɛ no yɛ adwuma bere a pɛ a emu yɛ nokware na ɛkanyan no nko ara.
Bere a tie yɛ ade a emu yɛ den sɛ wobɛyɛ
Deɛ ɛda akyi no kɔ soro bere a wo ne obi adwene nhyia, anaa bere a obi bo afuw wo. Biribiara a ɛwɔ wo mu pɛ sɛ ɛbɔ ho ban, kyerɛkyerɛ mu, sesa. Ɛno ara ne bere a ɛsɛ sɛ woyɛ brɛoo na wodi kan te aseɛ. Wobetumi atie obi koraa nanso wo ne no adwene nhyia. Sɛ woma ɔte nka sɛ wɔtie no no nkyerɛ sɛ woagyae asɛm no mu. Ɛtaa ma otumi tie wo deɛ kɛse bere a wo bere du.
Ɛho hia sɛ wuhu eyi anohyeto nso. Sɛ wotie yiye a, ɛyɛ adɔeɛ adeyɛ, na adɔeɛ adeyɛ betumi ahuru a ayɛ wosee. Sɛ wo ne onipa a obiara de ne nneɛma gu no so na obiara mmisa sɛnea wo ho te a, saa pɛsenmu a ɛnhyia no yɛ nokware na ɛhaw wo wɔ bere mu. Tie sɛ ɔkannifoɔ anaa adamfo nte sɛ sɛ wobɛyɛ obi twɛaduampɔn korɔ. Bere a obi rekura biribi a emu yɛ duru, awerɛhoɔ a ɛkɔ so daa, ahokyere, yaw a ɛboro deɛ nkɔmmɔdie a ayamyeɛ wɔ mu betumi akura so, ade a ɛboa ankasa sen biara a wobetumi ayɛ ne sɛ wobɛtie a wonni atɛn na afei woaboa no ma wadu obi a wɔatete no ama saa no nkyɛn: afotufoɔ, ɔyaresafoɔ, ahokyere ho nne. Sɛ wɔtie wo a, ɛwɔ tumi. Ɛnyɛ ɔhwɛ ananmusideɛ bere a ɔhwɛ ne deɛ ɛho hia.
Nanso, nkɔmmɔdie pii nyɛ ahokyere. Ɛyɛ mmerɛ a ɛyɛ daa a obi pɛ sɛ ɔhu sɛ ɔsom wo bo kɛkɛ. Sɛ wode w'adwene a ɛyɛ ma a ahopere nni mu ma no no yɛ nneɛma a ɛyɛ mmerɛw na wɔmmu ho a ɛyɛ den sen biara a wobetumi de ama onipa foforɔ. Ne ho nsɛe hwee gye ade a emu yɛ den, a ɛyɛ sɛ wobɛkɔ so atena hɔ. Sɔ hwɛ pɛnkorɔ ɛnnɛ, wuyi adwene yɛ no, wɔ obi a anka wobɛtie no fa a wonyɛ ho. Hwɛ deɛ ɛbɛbue.
Mmeae a wonya nsɛm fii
- Harvard Business Review, How to Become a Better Listener (Robin Abrahams and Boris Groysberg)
- Harvard Business Review, Are You Really Listening? (Adam Bryant and Kevin Sharer)
- PubMed Central, Feeling Heard: Experiences of Listening (or Not) at Work (Kriz, Kluger, and Lyddy)