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inhloso

Ekuseni kokuqala endaweni engeyami

@morningmele Narrated by Paul Rigby 2:44 35 shots

0:00 2:44

Ngivuka ngaphambi kokuba insimbi ikhale, egumbini elingelami, futhi lokhu kusa ngizokukhumbula isikhathi eside. Umzuzwana nje angazi ukuthi ngikuphi, bese ngiyazi, kanti lokho kwazi kungena kimi njengokufudumala. Ezindongeni akukho lutho okwamanje. Kukhona ukukhanya okuningi ngokwedlulele. Ngikwenzile lokhu. Akulona ithamsanqa, akusiso isikhathi esihle, akekho onqume ukuthi ngikufanele. Yimi engakwenza, kanti lowo musho uzothatha isikhathi ngaphambi kokuba ngiwusho ngingathuthumeli.

Phansi kubanda ezinyaweni. Kukhona iwindi engingakalijwayeli, kanti ilanga lingena kulo ngendlela engizoyazi ngekhanda phakathi kwenyanga. Ngezansi kwami kuvaleka umnyango. Igedlela. Amanzi ehamba epayipini. Le ndawo inemisindo yayo yasekuseni, kanti isivele iyajwayeleka kimi. Ngihamba ngisuka kolunye uhlangothi ngiye kolunye ngaphandle kwesizathu. Akukho lutho olubabazekayo kukho konke lokhu, kanti konke kungokwami.

Lokhu kuthathe isikhathi eside kunalokho ebengikufisa. Kwaba nezinyanga lapho izibalo zenqaba ukunyakaza, nezinsuku zakusihlwa lapho ngayeka khona ukubala ngoba ukubala kwakungenamusa. Nakhu engikwaziyo manje engangingakwazi ngaleso sikhathi. Inqubekela phambili kunoma yini enkulu ayibonakali neze ngesikhathi yenzeka, kanti lokho akulona iphutha ohlelweni, kungukusebenza kwalo ngendlela efanele. Izinyanga ebezizwakala zingelutho bezingezona ezingelutho. Bekuyingxenye engathwetshulwa muntu, ingxenye eyeqiwayo kuzo zonke izindaba ezixoxwa kamuva.

Iphutha lami kwaba ukuthatha inyanga ehambe kancane njengobufakazi bokuthi lokhu akusebenzi. Ukuhamba kancane yikho ukusebenza kubukwa ngaphakathi. Yonke into eyakhelana phezu kwayo ikhokha okucishe kube yize isikhathi eside, bese ikhokha yonke ngasikhathi sinye, okusho ukuthi ukuyahlulela maphakathi kuyindlela umuntu ayeka ngayo ngqo ngesikhathi inzuzo isizofika. Bengingadingi ukuzithiba okwengeziwe. Bengidinga isilinganiso esingcono, esikala engikufakayo esikhundleni salokho osekufikile, ngoba lesi sesibili siqamba amanga izinyanga zonke.

Ngakho namuhla ngiqamba into eyodwa engingayenza kule nyanga eqonde kweyalandelayo, bese ngiyifaka ekhalendeni lapho ngiphoqeleka ukuyibona khona. Hhayi wonke umgwaqo. Hhayi uhlelo olumboza yonke into bese luwa phakathi kwamasonto amabili. Into eyodwa enosuku olubhaliwe, ngoba into enosuku iyisibopho kanti into engenalo ingumuzwa ongeke usinde ekuhlangabezaneni nesonto elimatasa. Yileyo ndlela izinyanga eziqala ngayo ukubalwa.

Ngima phakathi kwegumbi umzuzu ngaphambi kokwenza noma yini enye. Ayikho impahla, alukho uhlelo, kukhona phansi nokukhanya nomsindo wale ndawo. Yilokhu okubukeka njengento umuntu ayisebenzele lapho ekugcineni iyeka ukuba yinhloso bese iguquka ibe ngukusa okuvamile kolwesibili. Ibukeka njalo kanjena uma ibukwa ngaphakathi, futhi yingakho bembalwa abayibonayo lapho ifika.