Amathiphu asheshayo
- Buyisela lowo okhalazayo kumuntu ngokwakhe.
- Vumela ukuthula kuhlale, bazokugcwalisa.
- Qondisa ingxoxo ekuziphatheni, hhayi esimilweni.
Umuntu uvela emnyango wakho, noma akuthumelele umlayezo, futhi umusho uhlala ucishe ufane. "Ngingakhuluma nawe ngento ethile emayelana nobani-nobani?" Usuvele wazi cishe ukuthi kubhekephi. Abantu ababili ababevame ukusebenzisana kahle sebethule, noma sebebukhali, noma sebebanda. Omunye wabo uze kuwe. Futhi kukhona ukudonseka, okunamandla, kokuzwa udaba, unqume ukuthi ubani oqinisile, bese ukhipha isixazululo.
Kumelane nakho okomzuzwana. Hhayi ngoba ukuxazulula ukungqubuzana kubi, kodwa ngoba indlela lapho ubaxazululela khona ivame ukungabambeleli. Bafunda ukuthi indlela yokubhekana nomunye nomunye ukuza kuwe. Ubudlelwano bangempela phakathi kwabo bobabili, into eyaphuka, buhlala buphukile. Futhi ngokulandelayo lapho kwenzeka, usuphindele engxoxweni yasemnyango, kuphela manje sekungumkhuba.
Ikhono elifanele ukwakhiwa lihlukile futhi lithule kakhulu. Kuwukusiza bobabili bakuxazulule ngokwabo, wena useduze, kunokuba ukuxazulule egameni labo. Kudinga isineke esengeziwe ekuqaleni. Kuyakubuyisela njalo ngemuva kwalokho.
Kungani isinyathelo esisobala sibuyela emuva
Ukungenela unqume kuzwakala kusebenza kahle. Uyanquma, umsindo uyanqamuka, wonke umuntu ubuyela emsebenzini. Inkinga ivela kamuva.
Izindleko zokuqala zikuwe. Ngomzuzu othatha isikhalazo somuntu oyedwa usiyise komunye, usuqale ukubukeka sengathi ukhetha uhlangothi. Kwenze lokho izikhathi ezimbalwa bese abantu bayeka ukukubona njengonobulungiswa. Isiqondiso somsebenzi se-SHRM sikubeka ngokusobala: bhekana nesisebenzi esisodwa ngezikhalazo zesinye uzobonakala ukhetha uhlangothi, okuncisha igunya lakho futhi kwenza abantu bangabaza ukukulethela noma yini engokoqobo. Uba usizo oluncane njengomholi ngokuzama ukuba usizo olungeziwe.
Izindleko zesibili zikubo. Njalo lapho ukuxazulula, bobabili baxega kancane emandleni okuxazulula okulandelayo. Awakhi lutho. Uba yingxenye yezinsiza abangakwazi ukusebenza ngaphandle kwayo. Ukubeka kwe-SHRM ukuthi umgomo iwusiko lapho ukulawula ukungqubuzana kungumsebenzi wawo wonke umuntu, hhayi insizakalo umphathi ayinikezayo uma iceliwe.
Kukhona neqiniso elilula ngobunikazi. Abantu bagcina izivumelwano abasize ukuzenza. Isixazululo osiphoqelelayo siyinto eyenziwa kubo; isixazululo abasibumbile siyinto abanesabelo sokuyivikela. Abacwaningi bezingxoxo be-Harvard bachaza umlamuli njengomuntu, esikhundleni sokuphoqelela isinqumo, osebenzisa ukulalela nesineke ukusiza abantu abangqubuzanayo bafinyelele isixazululo sabo sokuzithandela. Lelo gama, sokuzithandela, lisebenza kakhulu. Kuwumehluko phakathi kokuthula okuhlala njalo nalokho okunyamalalayo ngomzuzu ophenduka.
Ukuthi "ukubasiza" kusho ukuthini ngempela
Ngakho awusona unompempe. Awusona ijaji. Uyini pho?
Usondele kumqeqeshi obayisa engxoxweni abayigwemayo, bese esuka endleleni ikakhulukazi. Umsebenzi wakho ukwenza ingxoxo eqondile ibe nokwenzeka futhi iphephe, hhayi ukuyenza egameni labo. Lokho kubuka kabusha kushintsha cishe konke ngendlela obhekana ngayo nomuntu osemnyango wakho.
Lapho umuntu eza ezokhipha intukuthelo ngozakwabo, into eluncedo kakhulu ongayenza ukubalalela, bese ubabuyisela kumuntu ngempela abadinga ukukhuluma naye. Hhayi ngobubanda. Awubadedeli nje. Ungasho okuthile okufana nokuthi, "Lokho kuzwakala kucasula ngempela. Umtshelile lokhu ngokuqondile?" Imvamisa impendulo eqotho ngu-cha. Abantu abaningi bazokhalaza ngasezinhlangothini amasonto ngaphambi kokuba basho into enzima ebusweni obubodwa obudinga ukuyizwa. Ingxenye yokuhola ukuvala leso gebe ngobumnene.
Kukhona umugqa wangempela lapha, futhi kufanele uwusho ngokuzwakalayo kuwe. Ukuqeqesha abantu ukuthi babhekane nokungqubuzana kwabo umgomo wezinto ezijwayelekile: ukuzwela okulimele, ukungezwani, ukwakheka kancane kwenzondo ngokuthi ubani wenzani. Akulona isinyathelo sokuhlukumeza, ukubandlulula, izinsongo, ukuphepha, noma noma yini ephula umthetho ocacile. Lezo zifika kuwe naku-HR, ngokushesha, futhi uyasukuma. Ukutshela abantu ababili ukuthi "bakuxazulule" lapho omunye wabo ephathwa kabi akusona ukunika amandla. Kuwukushiya. Gcina lowo mngcele ukhanya.
Indlela yokukumisa
Lapho isimo siwuhlobo lwansuku zonke, futhi bebonakala bengakwazi ukufinyelela lapho ngokwabo, ungabahlanganisa bobabili bese ubamba uhlaka ngenkathi bekhuluma. Isakhiwo esisebenzayo:
- Khuluma nomunye nomunye wabo kuqala, kafushane futhi ngokulinganayo. Banike isikhathi esilinganayo. Awuqoqi ubufakazi bokwahlulela. Uvumela umuntu ngamunye azizwe ezwiwe ngaphambi kokuba babe ndawonye egumbini, futhi ubonisa ukuthi awukho ohlangothini lwamuntu.
- Thola isivumelwano sangempela sokuhlangana. Bobabili kufanele bafune ngempela isixazululo, hhayi nje ukufuna ukuwina. Uma omunye wabo elapho ukuze aboniswe ukuthi uqinisile kuphela, kusho ngokusobala bese ulinda kuze kushintshe. Ukuphoqa ukuhlala phansi komuntu ongakalungeli kwenza kube kubi kakhulu.
- Beka imithetho eyisisekelo ekuqaleni. Umuntu ngamunye ukhuluma ngaphandle kokunqanyulwa. Inhloso ukulungisa inkinga, hhayi ukuphinda kuthethwe wonke umlando. Ulapho ukuze ukugcine kunobulungiswa futhi kusendleleni, hhayi ukunquma ukuthi ubani owinayo.
- Qondisa ingxoxo ekuziphatheni, hhayi esimilweni. "Uma imihlangano iqala ngaphandle kwami, ngilahlekelwa umkhondo futhi ngizizwe ngingafakiwe" iya endaweni. "Uyaphatha ngesihluku" ayiyi. Qhubeka ubasusa emagameni okuqamba ubuyele ezintweni ezicacile. Izinto ezicacile ziyaxazululeka.
- Babhekise phambili. Umbuzo oluncedo kakhulu egumbini cishe akulokothi kube ngu-"ubani owenzeni." Kungu-"yini omunye nomunye wenu adinga ukuthi ihluke ngokulandelayo?" Benze benze izicelo zangempela komunye nomunye, ngokuzwakalayo, abangavumelana ngazo bobabili.
- Bavumele baqambe isixazululo, bese ukubhala phansi. Lapho befinyelela okuthile, ngisho nento encane, kwenze kucace futhi kube ngokwabo. Wena ubambe isikhala. Bona bakhe isivumelwano. Yilokho okuyiphuzu lonke.
Kukho konke lokhu, ithuluzi lakho eliyinhloko ukuzibamba kwakho. Lalela ngaphezu kokuba ukhulume. Lapho ukuthula kwehla, hlala kukho isikhashana eside kunalokho okukhululekile, ngoba umuntu okugcwalisayo imvamisa ngomunye wabo, enento eyiqiniso. Isiqondiso semfundo yabaphathi be-Harvard sifika kuwo wona lawa manyathelo ambalwa: hlala ungakhethi, lalela zonke izinhlangothi, ube nesineke esanele sokuqondisisa zonke izici, futhi ugcine ukugxila enkingeni kunabantu abakuyo.
Izicupho okulula ukuwela kuzo
Ngisho nabaholi abanezinhloso ezinhle bavame ukushelela ngezindlela ezimbalwa ezibikezelekayo. Ukuzazi ngaphambi kwesikhathi kuyingxenye yempi.
Esokuqala ukuqedela imisho yabo. Ngokuvamile ungabona isakhiwo sesixazululo ngaphambi kokuba babone, futhi isifiso sokweqela phambili usimemezele sinamandla. Ungakwenzi. Ngomzuzu othi kuyini impendulo, usubuyisele isivumelwano kuwe usithathe kubo, futhi ususibambe futhi. Bavumele bafinyelele lapho kancane. Uhlobo lwabo luzobambelela; olwakho ngeke.
Esesibili ukunquma ngokuthula ukuthi ubani oqinisile bese uqondisa. Abantu banekhono elimangalisayo lokuzwa isikali esitshekile, ngisho nesincane. Uma usunqume ngasese ukuthi omunye wabo uyinkinga, imibuzo yakho izokhetha, ithoni yakho izokhetha, futhi bobabili bazokuzwa. Omunye umuntu uyeka ukwethemba inqubo, futhi usulahlekelwe yinto eyakwenza ube usizo: ukuthi ubungekho ohlangothini lwamuntu.
Esesithathu ukukuphatha njengesenzakalo sesikhathi esisodwa. Ingxoxo eyodwa enhle ivame ukungaqedi ukungqubuzana okuthathe izinyanga ukwakheka. Hlela ukubheka emasontweni ambalwa kamuva, ngokulula. "Kuhamba kanjani phakathi kwenu nobabili?" Ukubheka kwenza imisebenzi emibili ngasikhathi sinye. Kubamba isixazululo esisheleleyo ngaphambi kokuba sidilike, futhi kutshela bobabili ukuthi uwuqaphele umzamo abawenzile. Lokho kuqaphela kuyingxenye yalokho okwenza umzamo uzwakale ufanelwe ukuphindwa.
Isicupho sokugcina esibantu kakhulu: ukukwenza kube ngawe. Uma usuka engxoxweni uzizwa njengeqhawe elikulungisile, cishe wenze umsebenzi omningi kakhulu. Umphumela ongcono kakhulu lapha awuthusi ngendlela emangalisayo. Abantu ababili baxazulula okuthile, ikakhulukazi phakathi kwabo, futhi cishe ubungekho okumele ukusho. Lokho kuthula kuyisibonakaliso sokuthi ukwenze kahle.
Ukubanika amazwi okuqala
Ukungqubuzana okuningi kuhlala kubambekile ngoba akekho kubantu owaziyo ukuthi angaqala kanjani ngaphandle kokuba kuphenduke kube yingxabano. Ungabanika indlela yokungena. Hhayi umbhalo wokuphinda, kodwa isakhiwo esigcina umusho wokuqala ungawenzi wonke umuntu abe mubi kakhulu.
Esilula kunazo zonke ukuqala ngalokho okubonile nokuthi kufike kanjani, bese ubuza, kunokusola. Okuthile okufana nokuthi, "Lapho umbiko uphuma ngaphandle kwesigaba sami, ngizwe ngivinjelwe kungazelelwe. Ungangihambisa kulokho okwenzekile?" Kuqamba into ecacile, kwamukele umuzwa njengomuzwa, futhi kushiya indawo yempendulo engesona ukuzivikela.
Amanyathelo ambalwa amancane ongaqeqesha abantu ukuthi bawenze:
- Shintsha "uhlala" no-"awulokothi" ngomzuzu owodwa ocacile. Izinsolo ezibanzi zimema insolo ephikisayo. Isibonelo esisodwa simema ingxoxo.
- Buza umbuzo wangempela ngaphambi kokwenza icala. Ukungqubuzana okuningi kwakhelwe endabeni umuntu ngamunye ayigcwalisile ngezinhloso zomunye, futhi indaba ivame ukuba mbi kuneqiniso.
- Sho ofuna kwenzeke phambili, hhayi nje okwaphambana. "Ngingathanda sazise izinguquko ngaphambi kokuba ziphume" iyinto omunye umuntu angayenza ngempela.
- Vumela ukuthi ungahle ube kukhona okushiyile. "Mhlawumbe ngikufunda kabi lokhu, kodwa" kwehlisa izinga lokushisa ngaphandle kokudela iphuzu.
Akukho kulokhu okumayelana nokuba buthaka. Kumayelana nokusho into enzima ngendlela omunye umuntu angayizwa ngempela, okuyiyona kuphela indlela into enzima eke yenza usizo.
Lapho sekushisa kakhulu
Kwesinye isikhathi bobabili bavusekile kakhulu ukuthi bakhulume kahle. Amazwi aphakeme, ubuso bubomvu, futhi noma yini eshiwo kuleso simo izokhunjulwa kabi. Ungaqhubeki nakho. Isikhathi esifushane sokupholisa akusona ukugwema, kuyisu. Isiqondiso se-Harvard sokungqubuzana kwethimba sicebisa ngokukhethekile ukunika abantu indawo yokupholisa ngaphambi kokubhekana nokungqubuzana okushisayo, nokucabanga kabili ngaphambi kokubhekana nakho ekushiseni komzuzu.
Beka isikhathi sangempela sokubuya, masinyane ngokwanele ukuze kungagcini kubhibha. Amahora, noma ekuseni okulandelayo, hhayi "ngesinye isikhathi." Abantu bacabanga kangcono uma umzimba wabo sewehlile ekwethukeni, futhi uhlobo lwabo oluvela kusasa luvame ukuba nobuqotho futhi lube nesandla esivulekile kunalolo olusemnyango namuhla.
Lapho imikhawulo yakho ikhona, futhi lokho kulungile
Akukona konke okuxazululekayo, futhi awukwazi ukwenza abantu abadala ababili bathandane. Inhloso eqotho ivame ukuba yingcosana kunobungane. Kuwubudlelwano bokusebenza obunesizotha, obusebenzayo, futhi obwenza umsebenzi wenziwe ngaphandle kokufaka ubuthi kubo bonke abaseduze.
Yazi lapho lokhu kukhulu kunokungqubuzana phakathi kwabasebenzi ababili. Uma iphethini iqhubeka iphindaphindeka noma ngabe bavumelana ngani, uma umuntu oyedwa ebonakala esosizini lwangempela, uma kukhona nesici sokuxhashazwa noma umuntu obekelwe iso, lokho kudlula ukuqeqesha kungene emthwalweni wakho wokuwudlulisela phezulu. Faka i-HR. Ncika kubantu okungumsebenzi wabo lokhu. Ukuzama ukubhekana wedwa nokuthile okudinga inqubo esemthethweni akukwenzi umholi oqinile, futhi ukulinda isikhathi eside kuvame ukwenza umonakalo ube mubi kakhulu.
Futhi uzibheke kukho konke lokhu. Ukuhlala phakathi kokungqubuzana kwabanye abantu kudinisa ngempela, futhi uma ukumunca, ukuyisa ekhaya, ulele uvukile udlalisa izingxoxo, lokho kufanelwe ukunakwa. Ubuholi obuqinile busebenza ngomuntu oqinile. Awukwazi ukuqhubeka unikeza ukuzola kubantu ababili abangqubuzanayo uma usuphelelwe ngokuthula okwakho.
Umvuzo wokwenza lokhu ngendlela ehamba kancane iyithimba elikudinga kancane ngalokhu kanye. Abantu abaye baxazulula ukungavumelani okukodwa kwangempela, wena ubambe uhlaka esikhundleni sokukhipha isinqumo, bangabantu abangakwenza futhi ngokwabo ngokulandelayo. Yileso simo lapho ubuyiselwa ngempela umnyango wakho.
Imithombo
- SHRM, Qeqesha Abasebenzi Bakwazi Ukuxazulula Ukungqubuzana Kwabo Nozakwabo
- Harvard Program on Negotiation, Xazulula Ukungqubuzana Kwabasebenzi Ngamaqhinga Okulamula
- Harvard Professional & Executive Development, Ukuvimbela Nokulawula Ukungqubuzana Kwethimba
- Harvard Business Review, Kungani Ukulanyulwa Kwabasebenzi Kuhluleka, Nokuthi Ungakubuyisela Kanjani Endleleni