Amathiphu asheshayo
- Zwa uhlangothi ngalunye lulodwa.
- Phinda usho okuzwile ngaphambi kokuphendula.
- Buza bobabili umbuzo ofanayo.
Abantu ababili osebenza nabo bexabene, futhi ngandlela thile sekube yinkinga yakho. Mhlawumbe omunye wabo ukubambe ephaseji kuqala wakutshela inguqulo yakhe. Mhlawumbe bobabili bakwenzile, ngokwehlukana, futhi izindaba ezimbili cishe azibonakali zichaza isigameko esifanayo. Noma kunjani ungakuzwa ukudonseleka. Omunye uzwakala enengqondo kakhulu. Omunye omthanda kakhulu, noma omethemba kakhulu, ngokusobala unguye owoniwe lapha. Umuzwa wakho usuvele uthambekele, kanti omunye umuntu akakakhulumi nokukhuluma.
Lokho kuthambekela yiyo into ozoyibheka. Uma usunqume ngokuthula ukuthi ubani olungile, uyeka ukuba umuntu ongasiza bese uba omunye othatha inxaxheba emlweni. Ingxenye enzima yokuma phakathi akusiwo ukukhuluma. Ukumelana nomfutho wemvelo ngempela wokuxazulula ukungakhululeki kwakho ngokujahela isinqumo.
Ukungakhethi akusho ukubanda, futhi akusho ukuthi awunayo imibono. Kusho ukuthi ubambelela imibono isikhathi eside ngokwanele ukuze abantu bobabili bazizwe belalelwa ngempela, ukuze noma yini eyenzeka ngokulandelayo ibe yinto ababe nesandla kuyo kunesinqumo osehlisele. Uhlelo lwezemfundo yabaphathi lwase-Harvard lukubeka ngokusobala: abaholi abawusizo kakhulu ekungqubuzaneni yilabo abangakhethi uhlangothi kodwa abasebenzela ukuthola isixazululo esimayo kubo bonke ababandakanyekayo.
Kungani ukungakhethi kwakho kubaluleke kakhulu kunokwahlulela kwakho
Ungaba ulungile ngokuthi ubani oqale. Kaningi ngeke kubaluleke ngangokuba ubuthemba.
Uma ukhetha uhlangothi, ngisho ngobumnene, ngisho ngobulungiswa, ufundisa wonke umuntu obukele isifundo sokuthi izingxabano zixazululwa kanjani lapha: ngokufinyelela kumphathi kuqala, ngokuba nokukholisa kakhulu, ngokuba yintandokazi. Umuntu "olahlekelwayo" kuyivelakancane asuke eneqiniso. Basuka benegqubu, futhi manje sekunezinkinga ezimbili, esokuqala nalelo lapho bengasathembi khona inqubo. Abantu baphinde bakhone kakhulu ukufunda ukuthambekela komholi. Ithoni efudumele kancane komunye umuntu, umbuzo obuzwe ngobukhali komunye, kanti igumbi selivele lenze iziphetho zalo ngokuthi ukoluphi uhlangothi.
Ukuhlala ungakhethi kuvikela okuthile okukhulu kunalokhu kungavumelani okukodwa. Kugcina umnyango uvuliwe ukuze abantu bakulethele izinto ezinzima esikhathini esizayo, esikhundleni sokuzivalela zize ziqhume. Lokho kuvuleleka kuntekenteke futhi kufanele ukuqashelwa.
Kuqala, thola ukuthi lolu luhlobo luni lokungqubuzana
Akukho ukungqubuzana okufanayo, futhi isinyathelo esilungisa uhlobo olulodwa senza olunye uhlobo lube lubi kakhulu.
Ezinye izingxabano yilokho abacwaningi abakubiza ngokupholile. Zimayelana nomsebenzi ngokwawo, isikhathi sokugcina, indlela, izinombolo, ukuthi ubani ophethe ini. Ukungqubuzana okupholile kuvame ukuba nemvelaphi enhle. U-Amy Gallo, ebhala ku-Harvard Business Review, wenza iphuzu lokuthi ukungavumelani okunempilo ngomsebenzi kuqhubela iqembu eminqondweni yalo, nokuthi iqembu elingenakho nhlobo ukungqubuzana ngokuvamile liqembu lapho abantu beyekile khona ukwethembeka. Uma ukungqubuzana kumayelana ngempela nemibono, umsebenzi wakho ulula. Faka amaqiniso etafuleni, uvumele zombili izimpikiswano zenziwe ngokugcwele, bese impendulo engcono ivame ukuvela ngokwayo.
Bese kukhona olunye uhlobo. Ukungqubuzana okushisayo kusebenza ngezinkolelo, izimiso, nobudlelwano obulimele, futhi akuvumeli ishidi lezibalo. U-Amy Edmondson wase-Harvard nozakwabo u-Diana McLain Smith bacwaninga indlela lokhu okwenzeka ngayo bathola izimpawu ezimbalwa ezisho okuthize. Abantu baphindaphinda izimpikiswano ezifanayo ngaphandle kokunyakaza ngisho intibili. Inkulumo iphenduka ibe ubuqu, ngezinsolo ezishiwo ngokuzwakalayo nezinhloso ezibuzwa ngasese. Futhi ukushisa kulokhu kukhuphuka kuze kungabikho lutho oluwusizo olungenzeka.
Isizathu sokuthi lo mehluko ubaluleke kangaka: iseluleko esivamile sokuthi "hlala nje ugxile emsebenzini ugcine imizwa ngaphandle kwako" sisebenza kuphela ekungqubuzaneni okupholile. Kuzame kokushisayo bese ubuka abantu benqekuzisa amakhanda ecebeni elihlelekile lokwenza emhlanganweni, base bethwala isikhalo sangempela baphume naso ngqo emnyango. Uma okuphambi kwakho kushisa, imizwa yiwo umsebenzi. Awukwazi ukuyizungeza.
Indlela yokubamba ngempela phakathi
Nakhu ukungakhethi okubukeka kanjani ngomzuzu, lapho bobabili abantu bephambi kwakho futhi izinga likhuphuka.
- Khuluma nomuntu ngamunye ngaphambi kokuba ubahlanganise. Thola ukulandisa kohlangothi ngalunye lodwa, ngaphandle komunye ekhona ukuze aphazamise noma benze umkhosi. Ulalele ukuze uqonde, hhayi ukuhlolisisa. Abantu basho izinto eziqinisile kakhulu uma bengezwa sengathi bahlulelwa ngesikhathi sangempela.
- Phinda usho lokho okuzwile ngaphambi kokuphendula kukho. "Ngakho ngokombono wakho, uzizwe ushiywe ngaphandle esinqumeni esithinta umsebenzi wakho." Awuvumelani ukuthi balungile. Ukhombisa ukuthi ubulalele ngempela, okwehlisa ukushisa ngaphezu cishe kwanoma yini enye ongayenza.
- Sho umuzwa ngaphandle kokusekela isikhundla. "Ngiyabona ukuthi lokho bekukhungathekisa kangakanani" kwamukela umuntu ngaphandle kokummemezela njengomnqobi. Ukwamukela umuzwa kuvame ukuwunciphisa. Ukuwushaya indiva kuwenza ukhule.
- Gcina imibuzo yakho ilingana. Uma ucela umuntu oyedwa ukuthi acabange ngokuthi amazwi akhe afike kanjani, cela omunye into efanayo. Abantu bakulandelela eduze lokhu, futhi umbuzo owodwa otshekile ungachitha ihora lokungakhethi ngokucophelela.
- Buyisela isixazululo kubo. Umgomo wakho akusiwo ukukhipha isinqumo. Ukubasiza bakhe okuthile abangaphila nako bobabili, ngoba isivumelwano abantu abasibumba bona uqobo yileso abazogcina ngempela.
Kukho konke lokho, bheka umzimba wakho. Uma uzizwa ucasuka, ubanjwa uhloko, uthambekela komunye umuntu, lowo ngumzuzu wokunciphisa ijubane bese uzitholela umzuzwana ngaphambi kokukhuluma. Ukuzola kwakho kuyithemostati egumbini. Kunjalo nokukhetha kwakho.
Ugibe olunye uhlangothi
Kukhona indlela yokwehluleka ebonakala njengokungakhethi kodwa engenjalo, futhi kufanele iqanjwe.
Kungumuzwa wokuzenzakalela wokuhlukanisa yonke into phakathi ukuze kungabi khona ocasukile, wokuphatha konke ukungqubuzana njengokungezwani okulula lapho bobabili abantu bedinga nje ukuhlangana maphakathi. Ngezinye izikhathi lokho kuyiqiniso. Kaningi akunjalo. Uma umuntu oyedwa eziphathe kabi ngempela, ephule umthetho wangempela, ewele emgqeni oya entweni elimazayo, khona-ke ukuthi "zombili izinhlangothi zinephuzu" akusibo ubulungiswa, kuwukugwema. Ukungakhethi kwangempela kumayelana nenqubo, hhayi umphumela. Kusho ukuthi wonke umuntu uyalalelwa futhi izinga elifanayo lisebenza kuwo wonke umuntu. Akusho ukuzenza sengathi okungalungile nokulungile kulinganiselwe ngokulinganayo njalo.
Umehluko uvela ezimeni ezinzima kunazo zonke. Uma umuntu ebexhashazwa, ehlukunyezwa, noma ephethwe ngendlela ewela endabeni yokuphepha noma yokuziphatha, umsebenzi wakho uyayeka ukuba ukuxazulula. Ukuphoqa ingxoxo yokuthi "asithobelaneni sonke" lapho kungenza umonakalo wangempela, ngoba kucela umuntu olimele ukuthi axoxisane ngendlela abaphathwe ngayo ekungafanele ngabe bakuthola. Lowo ngumzuzu wokuphuma phakathi bese ungenisa i-HR noma noma ubani ophatha lezi zindaba lapho ukhona.
Ukuthi nini uyeke ukuzama ukukubhekana wena
Iningi lokungqubuzana kwansuku zonke ungakwazi ukusiza ngakho. Okunye akunjalo, futhi ukwazi umugqa kuyingxenye yokwenza lokhu kahle.
Finyelela usizo olwengeziwe uma ukungqubuzana kulokhu kuphinde kuvuke noma ngabe usunezingxoxo ezinhle ezingakanani, uma sekungena kwiqembu lonke, noma uma kuthinta noma yini emayelana nokuhlukumeza, ubandlululo, noma ukuphepha komuntu. Lokho akusikho ukwehluleka kwakho njengomxazululi. Yizimo ezakhelwe ukudinga okungaphezu komuntu oyedwa onhliziyo enhle egumbini elithule. Umxazululi oqeqeshiwe, umlingani wezabasebenzi, noma umphathi ongaphezu kwakho ukhona kanye ngenxa yezingqubuzano ezikhule zadlula isixazululo esingahleliwe.
Futhi bheka ukuthi konke lokhu kukubiza kanjani. Ukuhlala phakathi kwezingxabano zabanye abantu kukhipha amandla ngempela, futhi uma uthwele eziningi zazo kanyekanye, noma ulahlekelwa ubuthongo ngazo, lokho kufanele ukuthathe ngokungathi sína ngenxa yakho. Ungaba ubukhona obuzinzile kwabanye kodwa usadinga indawo yokubeka phansi umthwalo.
Ngokuzayo lapho abantu ababili obaholayo bexabene bese uzwa lokho kuthambekela okusheshayo, okuqinisekile komunye wabo, kuthathe njengophawu kunesiphetho. Nciphisa ijubane. Vumela omunye umuntu akhulume. Inguqulo yakho engabamba phakathi, ngisho lapho kungakhululeki, yiyona bobabili abasazokwethemba yona uma sekuphelile lokhu.
Imithombo
- Harvard Professional & Executive Development, Preventing and Managing Team Conflict
- Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School, New Conflict Management Skills: Understand How to Resolve "Hot Conflicts"
- Amy Gallo, Harvard Business Review, How to Encourage the Right Kind of Conflict on Your Team