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UBUHOLI · UKUHOLA PHAKATHI KOSHINTSHO

Ukuxhumana Kahle Ngoshintsho: Ongakusho Lapho Ungenazo Zonke Izimpendulo

Ukuhlelwa kabusha, indlela entsha, umjikelezo wokuxoshwa, ukuhlanganiswa kwezinkampani. Ushintsho ngokwalo luvame ukungabi yiko okuphula ithemba labantu. Kuyindlela oluchazwa ngayo, noma olungachazwa ngayo. Nakhu ukuthi ungalitshela kanjani ithimba lakho izindaba ezinzima, ezingaqinisekile ngendlela ezigcina lizinzile futhi zihlala nawe.

Indoda nowesifazane behlezi etafuleni

Isithombe sika-Andreea Avramescu ku-Unsplash

Amathiphu asheshayo

  • Yisho izindaba zangempela ngemizuzwana engamashumi amathathu.
  • Qamba okungaziwa bese unikeza usuku.
  • Phefumula kanye kancane ngaphambi kokungena.

Cabanga umhlangano wabo bonke. Amaslayidi aphezulu, iskripthi esicophelele, umusho oqala ngokuthi "Njengoba abaningi benu bezwile." Ngesikhathi umhlangano uphela, uhhafu wegumbi seluyekile ukulalela seluqale ukubhala imilayezo. Abazibuzi ukuthi isakhiwo esisha siyini. Babuza yona kuphela imibuzo ebalulekile kumuntu onovalo: Ingabe umsebenzi wami uphephile? Ingabe basifihlela lokhu? Ingabe ngisengathemba lokho laba bantu abakutshela mina?

Lokho kuwukuvivinywa kwangempela kokuxhumana ngoshintsho. Uhlelo olusemaslayidini lungaba luhle. Okufika emizimbeni yabantu kuyinto elula futhi endala: ingabe ngiphephile, futhi ingabe uqotho kimi. Yenza leyo ngxenye kabi bese isu elihlanzeke kunawo wonke emhlabeni lifika lifile ephepheni.

Ukuxhumana okuningi ngoshintsho kuyehluleka ngenxa yesizathu esivamile. Abaholi bachaza ushintsho njengeqoqo lemisebenzi (nakhu ishadi elisha lenhlangano, nawa amathuluzi amasha) bese beyeqa izinto ezimbili abantu abazidingayo ngempela (kungani lokhu kwenzeka, nokuthi kusho ini kimi). Umcwaningi we-London Business School u-Elsbeth Johnson, ebhalela i-Harvard Business Review, wathola ukuthi abaholi bavame ukuchaza abakufunayo ngokwemisebenzi kunemiphumela, futhi bacishe bangakwenzi kucace ukujula okugcwele kwalokho abakucelayo ngempela. Abantu bashiywa ukuze bazigcwalisele izikhala bona. Bazigcwalisa ngokwesaba.

Kungani ukungaqiniseki kuyingxenye enzima kunazo zonke ukuyisho ngokuzwakalayo

Nasi isicupho. Lapho ungenazo zonke izimpendulo, ugqozi luwukulinda uze ube nazo. Bamba isimemezelo. Thambisa amaphetho. Khombisa ukuzethemba okuphelele. Kuzwakala kunomusa. Kuzwakala kunobuchwepheshe kakhulu.

Kuvame ukubuyela emuva. Ukuthula akufundwa njengokuqaphela. Kufundwa njengezindaba ezimbi ezilawulwayo, futhi abantu bazilungiselela uhlobo olubi kunazo zonke abangaluqagela. Kanti ukungazi ngokwako kuyadla. I-American Psychological Association iphawula ukuthi abantu abanesikhathi esinzima sokubekezelela ukungaqiniseki bavame ukuthambekela kakhulu ovalweni nasesimweni sengqondo esiphansi, nokuthi ukwamukela ukuthi ukungaqiniseki kukhona yikho okusikhulula ukuze sigxile kulokho esingakulawula ngempela. Ithimba lakho liphila kulokho kungakhululeki noma uyakuqamba noma cha. Ukukuqamba kuyikho ukukhululeka kokuqala ongakunikeza.

Ngakho umgomo akusikho ukuzenzisa ukuthi unezimpendulo ongenazo. Kuwukuba qotho ngesimo salokho okwaziyo, ongakwazi, nokuthi ulindele ukwazi nini okwengeziwe. Lokho kuyikhono, futhi ungakwenza kahle.

Uchungechunge olubekezelayo ngaphansi kwengcindezi

Lapho kumele ulethe izindaba ezinzima noma ezingakazinzi, ukulandelana kwezinto ozisho ngako kubaluleke njengamagama. Iphethini esebenzayo:

  1. Hola ngeqiniso, ngokusobala. Yisho into yangempela emizuzwaneni engamashumi amathathu yokuqala. "Sihlela kabusha ithimba, futhi ezinye izindima zizoshintsha." Ukungcwaba isihloko ngaphansi kwemizuzu emihlanu yomongo kutshela abantu ukuthi uyabesaba, futhi bayakuzwa.
  2. Yisho isizathu, ngendlela umuntu angayibamba. Hhayi isizathu sesitatimende sabezindaba. Esangempela, ngangokuvunyelwe ukwabelana ngaso. Abantu bathethelela okuningi lapho umqondo uqotho. Bacishe bangathetheleli lutho lapho kuzwakala kuwukuguqulwa kweqiniso.
  3. Yiba noqondile ngalokho ongakwazi okwamanje. "Nakhu osekunqunyiwe. Nakhu okungakanqunywa. Nakhu ukuthi ngizoba nokuningi nini." Okungaziwa okucacile kulula kakhulu ukuhlala nako kunokungaziwa okungacacile. Nika iphuzu lokuhlola elilandelayo usuku uma ukwazi.
  4. Yenza okusengozini komuntu siqu kucace. Abantu abakwazi ukuzwa isu ngenkathi behlola usongo. Fika ku-"lokhu kusho ini kuwe" kusenesikhathi, ngisho noma impendulo ithi "asikakwazi okwamanje, futhi ngeke ngikuvumele ukuthole ngokumangala."
  5. Mema imibuzo enzima, futhi uyithathe ngempela. Bese uyeka ukukhuluma ulalele.

Leso sinyathelo sokugcina yilapho abaholi abaningi bethuthumela khona, futhi yisona esakha ithemba elikhulu kunawo wonke.

Kwenze kuphephe ukusho ingxenye ethule

Oshintshweni lwangempela, ulwazi oluwusizo kakhulu esakhiweni yilokho abantu abesaba ukukusho ebusweni bakho. Ingozi abayibonayo ohlelweni olusha. Isizathu sokuthi kungani ithaymlayini ngeke isebenze. Into wonke umuntu eqenjini labo asekhathazekile ngayo.

Ukuthi uyoke ukuzwe yini kuncike kulokho umcwaningi waseHarvard u-Amy Edmondson akubiza ngokuphepha kwengqondo: umuzwa owabelwanayo wokuthi ungakhuluma, ubuze umbuzo, noma uvume ukungabaza ngaphandle kokujeziswa noma ukwenziwa uzizwe umncane. Iphuzu lika-Edmondson mayelana nezikhathi ezingaqinisekile, ezinyakaza ngokushesha licacile. Awusakwazi ukuhola ngokwesaba. Akusasebenzi njengesigqugquzeli, futhi kuvala ngqo ubuqotho obudinga kakhulu lapho umhlabathi ushintsha.

Ngesikhathi soshintsho, ukuphepha kuntekenteke futhi kulula ukukuphula ngengozi. Izinto ezimbalwa ziyakuvikela:

  • Lapho umuntu ephakamisa ukukhathazeka, kuphathe njengesipho, hhayi njengenselele. "Ngiyajabula ukuthi ukushilo lokho" akubizi lutho futhi kushintsha yonke into.
  • Phendula umbuzo obuziwe, hhayi umbuzo obungathanda ukuthi ngabe bawubuzile.
  • Uma ungazi, yisho "angazi" ngokuzwakalayo. Umholi ongavuma imikhawulo yolwazi lwakhe unika wonke omunye umuntu imvume yokuba qotho naye.
  • Ungalokothi wenze isibonelo ngomuntu ophikisile. Igumbi lonke libukele ukuthi kwenzekani kubo, futhi bazolungisa ubuqotho babo ngokuvumelana nalokho.

Okumele ukwenze lapho ungakwazi ukubatshela konke

Ngezinye izikhathi ngempela awukwazi ukwabelana ngesithombe esiphelele. Izizathu zomthetho, isivumelwano esingakavalwa, izinqumo ezisaphezu kwezinga lakho lomholo. Yilapha lapho abaholi bevame kakhulu ukuthula khona, nalapho ukuthula kwenza umonakalo omkhulu kunawo wonke.

Ungaba qotho futhi unemingcele kokubili. Zama: "Kunezingxenye zalokhu engingakwazi ukukhuluma ngazo okwamanje, futhi ngeke ngenze sengathi akunjalo. Nakhu konke engingakutshela kona, nakhu ukuthi ngilindele ukuba nakho ukusho okwengeziwe nini." Ukuqamba ukuba khona komngcele ngokwako kuwuhlobo lwenhlonipho. Kutshela abantu ukuthi awuthuki ubuhlakani babo ngokwenza sengathi umngcele awukho.

Bese uyaqhubeka uvela. Ushintsho akusona isimemezelo esisodwa. Kuyizinkomba ezincane eziyikhulu emavikini, futhi ithemba lakhiwa noma lilahleke ekulandeleleni. Umsebenzi wakamuva we-HBR ngoshintsho oluqhubekayo wenza iphuzu lokuthi ushintsho seluyekile ukuba isehlakalo esithile lwaba isimo sezulu esizinzile somsebenzi, okushiya abantu bekhathele futhi belunya ngisho ngaphambi kokuba uvule umlomo. Abaholi abagcina ithimba linabo yilabo abahlala bebonakala, baphinde umlayezo lapho abantu bethukukisiwe kakhulu ukuwumunca ngokokuqala, futhi benze abakushilo bazokwenza.

Igama ngokuzinza kwakho

Awukwazi ukunika igumbi ukuzola ongenakho. Uma ungena udlidliza ngovalo lwakho, abantu bazoluzwa ngaphambi kokuba babambe igama elilodwa lomlayezo wakho. Ngakho ngaphambi kwengxoxo enzima, zinzisa umzimba wakho kuqala. Ukuphefumula okukodwa okuhambisayo. Izinyawo phansi. Umzuzu wedwa ngaphambi kokungena. Umgomo akusikho ukungazwa lutho. Kuwukulawuleka ngokwanele ukuze ukuzinza kwakho, hhayi ukwesaba kwakho, kube yiyo into ethathelanayo.

Lo msebenzi unzima, futhi ungakukhandla esikhathini eside sokungaqiniseki. Naka izimpawu zakho zengcindezi. Uma isisindo sokuhola esikhathini esinzima singenela ebuthongweni bakho, empilweni yakho, noma kubantu obathandayo, lokho kufanele kukhulunywe nodokotela, udokotela wengqondo, noma umuntu omthembayo. Ukuphatha ithimba phakathi koshintsho ungumsebenzi wangempela. Uvunyelwe ukudinga ukusekelwa ngawo futhi.

Abantu abaphambi kwakho ngeke bakhumbule cishe lutho ngeslayidi. Bazokhumbula ukuthi ngabe wababheka emehlweni wabatshela iqiniso yini, nokuthi ngabe wabuya yini ngeviki elilandelayo naneliza. Yilokho kanye ukuxhumana kahle ngoshintsho okuyikho. Hhayi umlayezo ophelele. Othembekile, otshelwe umuntu owahlala.

Imithombo

Ngaphambi kokuba uhambe: igama ngokunakekela

KEEP CALM inikeza amathuluzi amahhala, afundisayo, okuzisiza. Lokhu akuseluleko lwezokwelapha, ukuxilongwa, noma ukwelashwa, futhi akuthathi indawo yokunakekelwa uchwepheshe. Uma kukhona lapha okuzwakala kunzima kunengcindezi evamile, kuyisinyathelo esinamandla nesifanele ukuxhumana nochwepheshe.

If you are in crisis or thinking about harming yourself, you are not alone. In the US, call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, 24/7), text HOME to 741741 (Crisis Text Line), or call 911 in an emergency.