Amathiphu asheshayo
- Chaza ukuthi "okwanele" kubukeka kanjani ngaphambi kokuqala.
- Faka ekhalendeni ubuthongo nokuphumula njengomhlangano.
- Buza abathandekayo ukuthi ngabe banawe ngempela yini.
Uyayifinyelela inombolo. Ukukhushulwa esikhundleni kuyeza, umjikelezo uyavalwa, into obuyixhopha iminyaka emibili ekugcineni iyafika. Futhi kunengxenyana yesekhondi eyisimanga, ecwebile lapho ulinda ukuzwa lokho obekumele ukuzwe, kodwa akufiki ngempela. Ekuseni okulandelayo usuvele ubeke amehlo akho kokunye okuqondiwe.
Uma uke wawuphila lowo mzuzu, awuphukile futhi awubongi mbonga. Umane uhlangabezane nesici sendlela ukulwela okusebenza ngayo cishe akekho okuxwayisa ngayo. Isifiso sokuphumelela singenye yezinjini ezinhle kunazo zonke umuntu angaba nazo. Siphinde sigcine ibhili, futhi isikweletu sivame ukufika ezindaweni obungazibhekile.
Lokhu akuyona impikiswano yokunganaki kangako. Ugqozi luyingxenye yobuwena, futhi lwenze okuhle kwangempela empilweni yakho. Iphuzu ukubona ishidi eligcwele lezindleko, ukuze ukwazi ukugcina injini bese uyeka ukuyikhokhela ngokweqile.
Kungani umugqa wokuphetha uhlala uhamba
Usozingqondo womcabango omuhle uTal Ben-Shahar wanika leyo ngxenyana yesekhondi ecwebile igama. Uyibiza ngenkohliso yokufika: inkolelo ethule yokuthi ukufinyelela emgomeni othile kuzokunika umuzwa ohlalayo wokwaneliseka, kuphela uthole umuzwa uphela cishe ngokushesha njengoba ufikile. Waqala ukukuqaphela kuye, njengomdlali osemusha oncintisanayo we-squash owayeqinisekile ukuthi ukunqoba kuzomenza ekugcineni ajabule. Wanqoba. Injabulo yahlala cishe usuku.
Kunendlela esebenzayo ngaphansi kwakho. Ingqondo yakho ijwayela izimo ezintsha ngesivinini esimangalisayo, idonsa isimo sakho somqondo sansuku zonke sibuyele ezingeni laso elidala kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ushintsho lwaluluhle noma lubi. Osozingqondo bakubiza ngokujwayela injabulo. Ihhovisi elisekhoneni liba yihhovisi lakho nje. Iholo elake laba njengelingenakwenzeka liba yinombolo impilo yakho eyakhelwe kuyo manje. Ukujwayela akulona iphutha kuwe. Kuyiwo lawo mishini ivumela abantu ukuthi balulame ekulahlekelweni okunzima. Kodwa uma kukhonjiswe empumelelweni, kusho ukuthi impumelelo obala ukuthi izogcwalisa okuthile ngokuvamile izosetha kabusha ibha esikhundleni salokho.
Ngakho ukuxhopha akupheli emgomeni. Kuphela, uma ukuvumela, enguqulweni ephakeme kancane yalapho uqale khona, usuvele uskena okulandelayo.
Ukuqhathanisa kuthela amafutha kulokhu. Okuqondiwe okuzwakala kuphuthuma kaningi akukhona okwakho nhlobo. Kubolekwe kunoma ngubani ozilinganisa naye, futhi lelo qembu lokuqhathanisa lihlala likhuphuka njengoba ukhwela. Fika ekamelweni obuzama ukungena kulo, bese uphawula ngokushesha abantu asebevele baphambili kakhulu kulo. Ibha ayiwona umugqa omile obhekise kuwo. Ingummango ohlehla ngesivinini sakho kanye. Lokho kufanele ukwazi, ngoba kusho ukuthi ukungazoli okuzwayo emva kokunqoba ngokuvamile akuyona impendulo ngokunqoba. Kumane kungummango owenza lokho imimango ekwenzayo.
Isikweletu umzimba wakho osikhokha ngokuthula
Nawu lapho izindleko ziyeka khona ukuba ezefilosofi.
Iminyaka, "ngizolala uma sekuqediwe" kwakuzwakala njengesimilo, hhayi ingozi. Idatha isibe nzima ukuyishaya indiva. Ngo-2021 iWorld Health Organization ne-International Labour Organization bahlanganisa izifundo ezembozela amakhulu ezinkulungwane zabantu bathola ukuthi ukusebenza amahora angama-55 noma ngaphezulu ngesonto kwakuhlobene nengozi ephakeme ngamaphesenti angama-35 yesitroko nengozi ephakeme ngamaphesenti angama-17 yokushona ngenxa yesifo senhliziyo, uma kuqhathaniswa nesonto elijwayelekile lamahora angama-35 kuya kwangama-40. Balinganisa ukuthi amahora amade ayehlobene nokushona kwabantu cishe abangu-745,000 ngonyaka owodwa.
Leyo nombolo ayikho lapha ukukwethusa. Ikhona ngoba isifiso sokuphumelela sinekhono elikhulu lokufihla intengo yaso yomzimba ngemuva komuzwa wamandla. Ingcindezi engapheli igcina umzimba wakho esimweni esiphansi, esiqhubekayo sesexwayiso. Ubuthongo budayiswa kuqala, bese kuba ukunyakaza, bese kuba isikhathi sokubona udokotela ohlala usihlehlisa. Akukho kwakho okuvela ekubuyekezweni kwekota. Kuvela kamuva, ndawana thile eyimfihlo, futhi ngaleso sikhathi imikhuba isijulile iminyaka.
Akudingeki ube usebenza amasonto amahora angama-55 ukuze umgomo usebenze. Isifundo esingaphansi kwezibalo silula: umzimba wakho ugcina amaphuzu ngisho noma ikhalenda lakho lingawagcini.
Kunesizathu esiyingozi sokuthi abantu abanogqozi bakuphuthelwa lokhu isikhathi eside. Ingcindezi, ngobungako obulinganiselwe, izwakala imnandi. Ingcindezi yomnqamulajuqu iyakulola, futhi lokho kulola kumnandi ngempela. Kungaba nzima ukusho umehluko phakathi konqenqema oluvundlisayo lokuqhathwa nokugaya okudlayo kokungehli neze. Kuzwakala kufana kulowo mzuzu. Akufani neze eminyakeni. Okokuqala kuyaphakama kwehle. Okwesibili akulokothi kucace ngokugcwele, futhi umzimba uphatha into ecindezelayo engeke iyibaleke njengesimo esiphuthumayo esiphansi, esiqhubekayo. Isiboniso akukhona ukuthi isonto elithile linzima kangakanani. Kuyilokhu kokuthi uke ubuyele ngempela ekuphumuleni phakathi kwamasonto anzima, noma ukuthi "ukuvuleka" sekube ngokuthula isilungiselelo sakho esisodwa.
Yini ecindezelwa ngaphandle
Izindleko zesibili kunzima ukuzilinganisa futhi cishe zibaluleke kakhulu.
IHarvard Study of Adult Development ilandele iqembu elifanayo labantu iminyaka engaphezu kwengamashumi ayisishiyagalombili, ilandelela umsebenzi wabo, impilo yabo, nobudlelwano babo ezimpilweni zonke. Ingenye yezifundo ezinde kunazo zonke zohlobo lwayo eziyenziwe. Emva kwayo yonke leyo datha, isibikezeli esiqine kunazo zonke sokuthi ngubani owahlala enempilo ejabule aze aguge kwakungeyona ingcebo, udumo, noma impumelelo yomsebenzi. Kwakuyikhwalithi yobudlelwano babo obuseduze. Abantu ababaneliseke kakhulu ngokuxhumana kwabo besemashumini amahlanu babe abanempilo kakhulu besemashumini ayisishiyagalombili, isibikezelo esingcono sekusasa labo kunecholesterol yabo.
Isifiso sokuphumelela asivamile ukuhlasela ubudlelwano ngqo. Simane sibolekile kubo. Isidlo sakusihlwa esiphuthelwe lapha, impelasonto ekhona kancane laphaya, umngane ohlala uhlose ukumshayela. Ukushintshana ngakunye kuzwakala kukuncane futhi kokwesikhashana, futhi iningi lakho kunjalo. Izindleko zisekunqwabelaneni, endleleni ehamba kancane lapho "emva kwale kota" kuba yisimo esihlala njalo sempilo yakho. Abantu ababalulekile kuwe abakuthumeli i-invoyisi yekhalenda. Bamane, kancane kancane, bayeka ukukulindela.
Lokhu kufanele kuqanjwe ngokusobala ngoba yizindleko okungenzeka kakhulu zingabonakali ngaphakathi. Umsebenzi ukunika impendulo eqhubekayo. Ubudlelwano buvame ukukunika ukungabikho kwabo, futhi kuphela emva kwesikhathi eside kakhulu.
Kunenguqulo yalokhu ezwakala inhle futhi efanele ukubuzwa. "Ngenzela konke lokhu bona." Ngezinye izikhathi kuyiqiniso. Kaningi kuyindaba evumela ukushintshana ukuthi kuqhubeke, ngoba abantu okuthiwa kwenzelwa bona iningi labo bebengashintshanisa indlu ethuthukisiwe ngokusihlwa okungaxhamazeli. Kufanele ngezinye izikhathi ubuze abantu obasebenzelayo ukuthi ngabe bayayithola into ocabanga ukuthi uyabanika. Impendulo eqotho ingasetha kabusha okubalulekile kuwe ngokushesha ngaphezu kwanoma yimuphi umthamo wokuzindla wedwa.
Uma ugqozi luguqukela kokunye
Kukhona umugqa okufanele uwazi, ngoba ukuwuwela kushintsha izibalo.
UMalissa Clark, ofunda ukusebenza ngokweqile e-University of Georgia, wenza umehluko owusizo phakathi kokuzibandakanya emsebenzini wakho nokuba isigqila somsebenzi. Umehluko akuwona amahora. Abantu abaningi abanogqozi basebenza kakhulu futhi baphila kahle ngempela. Ubugqila bomsebenzi bumayelana nokuthi ungakwazi yini ukuyeka, ukwehluleka okuphoqelelayo kokuqhawuka, umsindo ophansi wecala uma ungakhiqizi, iholidi elichithwe uhlola i-imeyili ngasese. Abantu abazibandakanyayo basebenza kanzima bese bebuyela ekhaya. Izigqila zomsebenzi azilokothi zihambe ngokugcwele.
Ingxenye evame ukumangaza abantu abanesifiso sokuphumelela ukuthi ayivuzi ngisho ngendlela obungayilindela. UClark uveza ukuthi ucwaningo alubonisi ubugqila bomsebenzi bukhiqiza okwengeziwe, futhi luvame ukukhombisa bukhiqiza okuncane. Ngale kwephuzu elithile awuthengi imiphumela ngawo wonke lowo mzamo owengeziwe. Umane uthenga ukukhathala, ukubize ngokuzibophezela ngoba enye indlela ingasho ukuhlala uthule.
Uma leyo ncazelo ifike ihlanzeke kakhulu kancane, kuphathe njengolwazi, hhayi isahlulelo. Kuyinto ongayishintsha.
Kungani kunzima kangaka ukukubeka phansi
Kukhona isizathu sokuthi konke lokhu kube lula ukukufunda kunokwenza ngakho, futhi akuwona ubuthakathaka. Kubantu abaningi abaphumelela kakhulu, isifiso sokuphumelela sayeka ukuba yinto abayenzayo kudala saba yinto abayiyo. Umkhiqizo uthwele umthwalo. Yilapho umuzwa wokuba yigugu wagcinwa khona. Ukwehla kancane akuzwakali nje njengokuphumula. Kuzwakala njengokubeka ubuwena bonke engozini, futhi elinye izwi elithule ligcizelela ukuthi uma uyeka ukukhiqiza, uzothola ukuthi ubuhlala uyigugu kuphela njengomphumela wakho wokugcina.
Lelo zwi liyaqamba amanga, kodwa liyakholisa, futhi ngokuvamile lafakwa kusenesikhathi. Mhlawumbe ukwamukelwa endlini yakho kwakuyinto oyizuzayo kunento obunayo. Mhlawumbe impumelelo kwakuyindlela eyodwa eyayikubonisa ngokwethembeka. Noma iyini imvelaphi, ucingo lungolwangempela, futhi awukwazi ukuludlula ngokuzithiba ngokumane unquma ukunganaki kangako. Okusizayo ukwakha ubufakazi, kancane, bokuthi usewuwena ngosuku ongakhiqizanga lutho ngalo. Ngesikhathi sokuqala uthatha usuku lwangempela lokuphumula bese umhlaba ungapheli futhi ungancibiliki, izwi liba thule kancane. Kuthatha ukuphindaphinda. Kuphinde kube umsebenzi okhulula kunayo yonke ongawenza, ngoba umuntu ongethuki ukuma ekugcineni ukhululekile ukukhetha ukuthi kunini azimisele, esikhundleni sokuqhutshwa.
Ukugcina injini, ukwehlisa izindleko
Akukho kulokhu okusho ukwehlisa isifiso sakho sokuphumelela sibe ngu-zero. Kusho ukushintsha indlela osibamba ngayo. Izinguquko ezimbalwa ezisiza ngempela:
- Nquma ukuthi "okwanele" kubukeka kanjani ngaphambi kokuqala. Isifiso sokuphumelela ngaphandle komugqa wokuphetha ochaziwe sizohlala sikutshela ukuthi usalele. Qamba into eqondiwe yangempela, kusengaphambili, ukuze ukwazi ukubona impumelelo uma ifika esikhundleni sokuyithatha ngokushesha ngenye.
- Vikela izinto ezimbalwa ezingenakuxoxiswana. Ubuthongo, isidlo esisodwa sangempela nabantu obathandayo, uhlobo oluthile lokunyakazisa umzimba wakho. Kubeke ekhalendeni ngokungathi sina okufanayo okunika umhlangano, ngoba kuyingxenye yakho okumele ihlale isikhathi eside kunanoma yimuphi umsebenzi owodwa.
- Yakha into ozobuyela ekhaya kuyo engeyona impumelelo. Ubudlelwano, ubuciko, indawo. Imithombo yencazelo engagcini amaphuzu ikunika indawo yokuma uma umsebenzi ngokungenakugwenywa unonyaka omubi.
- Qaphela uma ungakwazi ukuyeka, hhayi kuphela uma ungafuni. Ukufuna ukuqhubeka usebenza kulungile. Ukwehluleka ukukubeka phansi kuyisignali okufanele uyithathe ngokungathi sina.
- Enza uhlolo ngobuqotho ngezikhathi ezithile. Buza abantu abaseduze nawe ukuthi ngabe bazizwa benawe, noma inguqulo esele nje. Impendulo yabo iqonde kakhulu kuneyakho.
Ubudlelwano obumnene nokuxhopha
Uma noma yikuphi kwalokhu kufika eduze, akuwona uphawu lokuthi wehlulekile empilweni. Kuwuphawu lokuthi ubulokhu ugijima kanzima isikhathi eside, futhi enye ingxenye yakho iyabuza ukuthi ngabe ukushintshana kusakufanele yini. Lowo ngumbuzo omuhle, futhi ufanele ukunakwa kwangempela.
Uma izindleko zivela njengento enzima kunokukhathala, isimo somqondo esiphansi esiqhubekayo, ukukhathazeka ongakwazi ukukucima, ukulahlekelwa yintshisekelo ezintweni ebezike zibalulekile, inkinga yokulala engaphakami, lokho kufanele ukukhulume nodokotela noma umelaphi wengqondo. Ukusha kwengqondo nokucindezeleka kwengqondo kungabukeka kufana kakhulu ngaphakathi, futhi ochwepheshe angakusiza ukukwehlukanisa uphinde uthole ukuma kwakho futhi. Ukufinyelela akuwona umzila ophuma kunogqozi. Kuyindlela ohlala ngayo emdlalweni isikhathi eside ngokwanele ukuze ugqozi lube nencazelo.
Umgomo bewungakaze ube ukufuna okuncane. Bekungukuqinisekisa ukuthi impilo oyakha kanzima kangaka iyileyo okhona ngempela ukuze uyiphile.
Imithombo
- World Health Organization, Amahora amade okusebenza akhulisa ukushona ngenxa yesifo senhliziyo nesitroko
- Harvard Business Review, Isiqondiso Sesigqila Somsebenzi Sokubuyisa Impilo Yakho (Malissa Clark)
- Harvard Gazette, Izakhi zofuzo ezinhle zinhle, kodwa injabulo ingcono
- Psychology Today, Inkohliso Yokufika Ebukelwa Phansi Neqondwa Kabi