Wen You No Get Di Answer

Somebody ask you question direct. Di room quiet. And di honest truth be say you no get any idea.

Maybe na number wey you suppose don sabi off head. Maybe na decision wey depend on tins wey nobody fit predict yet. Maybe na hard question from person wey dey fear about dia work, and dem dey look you make you comot di fear. Your belle drop. One small voice dey tell you make you talk sometin, anytin, wey go sound like say you get power.

Dat moment, di gap between di question and your answer, na wia plenty leaders dey quietly scatter. No be becos dem no know. Nobody sabi everytin. Dem dey scatter becos dem believe say dem suppose sabi everytin.

Wia Di Panic Dey Really Come From

Di fear no be about di fact wey you no get. Na about wetin you dey imagine say di missing fact dey talk about you.

Plenty of us learn one story from early say to sabi work mean say you get all di answers, and say if you no know sometin e mean say dem don catch you, you dey behind, dem wan expose you. So wen di question land and di answer no dey, di body dey react di way e dey react to any danger. Your heart dey beat fast. Your tinking dey narrow. You go feel say you must fill di silence quick before anybody notice di hole.

Na hia di trap dey. Na dat same rush to cover imsef dey cause di worst result. You go form say you sabi one number and e wrong. You go over-promise so you fit sound like say you sabi wetin you dey do. You go make quick decision just to escape di uncomfortable feeling, and you go spend di next month dey clean di mess. Di panic no just dey feel bad. E dey hijack your judgment for di exact moment wey you need am pass.

To sabi say di reaction dey happen by imsef dey help. Di heart wey dey beat fast no be judgment on your ability. Na old alarm wey dey misread meeting like say na tiger.

Why You Suppose Talk Am Openly

E sound like say e no make sense, but to admit say you no know na di move wey dey protect your credibility instead of spend am.

Researchers wey dey study intellectual humility, di simple ability to sabi di limit of wetin you know, dey always find di same tin: people wey fit talk say 'I fit dey wrong' or 'I no get dat one' na dem people dey trust pass, no be say dem dey trust dem small. Dem dey show as warm and open pass. For disagreement, di way wey dem no dey hold dia opinion too tight dey soften di quarrel and dey make di oda person gree to listen. Di person wey dey form, as time dey go, na person wey you no fit rely on well. Di person wey dey honest about di edge of wetin dem know na person wey go tell you di truth wen e matter.

Dis one matter pass wen tins really uncertain. Di Harvard professor Amy Edmondson, wey don spend im career dey study wetin dey make team work, dey argue say di harder and di more unpredictable di situation, na di more di team need people wey go talk out, wey go throw idea wey never complete, and wey go name wetin dem no understand. None of dat one no go happen if di person wey dey in charge dey form say e don figure everytin out. Leader wey admit di limit of im own knowledge dey give everybody else permission to do di same. Na so dem dey usually find di real answer, by di group, openly, instead of make e lock inside one anxious head.

Wetin To Do For Dat Moment

Wen di question land and di answer no dey, you no need script. You need few seconds and one way to stay honest without say you go sound like say you lost. One pattern wey dey work:

1. Buy yourself one breath. Before you talk even one word, breathe out slow. One real breath dey steady your body enough to keep your tinking dey work. Almost notin really need instant answer, even wen e feel like say e need am.
2. Talk di true tin simple. "I no get dat one for my front." "I no sure, and I no wan guess." "Dat na good question and I need to tink about am." Plain and calm dey beat clever and shaky every time.
3. Show say you take am serious. Di tin wey people dey fear about "I no know" na say e mean say you no send or you no go follow up. So close di gap. "Make I find out and come back to you before Thursday." Now your no-knowing come with plan, wey be im own kind of assurance.
4. Give am to di whole room wen you fit. "I no get clean answer. Wetin di rest of una dey see?" You no dey dodge. You dey widen di circle of people wey dey tink about di problem, and good leader dey do dat one on purpose.
5. Den really follow am do. Na dis part dey turn one honest moment to trust wey go last. Di person wey talk say "I go find out" and really do am dey turn to person wey im word mean sometin.

Notice wetin no dey dat list. No fake confidence. No plenty grammar wey no get end. No dey promise result wey you no fit control.

Anoda Picture Of Wetin Strength Be

Di leaders wey people dey stay loyal to for years no be di ones wey always get ready answer. Na di ones wey dey honest about wetin dem know, steady about wetin dem no know, and wey you fit rely on to close di gap. Dat combination dey read as strength becos na strength. E dey take mind pass to talk "I no sure" for people front than to form pass dem.

One quiet benefit dey too, and na for you. Career wey you build on top pretend say you sabi everytin dey tire person, becos di pretend fit collapse anytime. Career wey you build on top honesty and to sabi find solution na di one wey fit last. You go stop to dey act certainty wey you no feel and start to dey do di work wey dey more interesting, wey be to find out.

Some of dis one dey easy with practice. Di first time wey you go calm talk "I no know" for room wia everytin matter, e go cost you sometin. By di tenth time, you go notice say di room no scatter. People come closer. Di work come better. And di tin wey you dey fear so, say dem go see you as person wey no get all di answers, come turn to sometin wey most people dey quietly respect.

Wen Di No-Knowing Big Pass One Meeting

Difference dey between say you no get one fact and say you feel like say you dey drown. If di pressure to get all di answers dey follow you go house, dey keep you awake for night, or dey make your body so tight say you no fit tink well, dat one na sometin to take serious on im own. Na di same tin for any feeling wey dey creep in say you be fraud wey dem wan expose, wey dey common, dey pain, and dey plenty pass wetin people dey admit openly.

None of dat one no mean say sometin wrong with you. E just mean say you dey carry more pass wetin one person suppose carry alone. Therapist, mentor wey you trust, or even coach fit help you drop di belief say your value depend on say dem no go ever catch you wen you no know sometin. Dat belief heavy, e no be true, and you no need to dey carry am around by yourself.

Di next time wey di room quiet and di answer no dey, you get place to stand. You fit breathe, talk di truth, and talk say you go find out. Dat one no be leadership wey fail. For di hard days, na almost everytin wey leadership be.

Wia Dis Info Come From

• Harvard Business Review, 6 Strategies for Leading Through Uncertainty (Rebecca Zucker and Darin Rowell)
• UNSW BusinessThink, Amy Edmondson on psychological safety in an uncertain world
• Greater Good Magazine, UC Berkeley, Five Reasons Why Intellectual Humility Is Good for You
• Current Issues in Personality Psychology (PMC), Intellectual humility: an old problem in a new psychological perspective