Somewhere inside di last one day, your mind don clear. Di offer no be am, di rate no go work, and di decision don already dey made whether you don talk am out loud or you never. Dat clarity worth something. Wetin remain no be di choice, na di sentence.
Good news dey about dat sentence. No wey you handle well na one of di strongest professional impressions wey you go ever make. E worth ten minutes of care, because deal dey come back. Budget dey change, di person wey dey hire go move go better place, and di project wey you turn down go get proper funding for March.
So di goal no be graceful exit. Na to talk no to di deal and yes to di person, for words wey you go happy if dem forward am to somebody wey you never meet.
How I go turn down offer without spoiling di relationship?
Thank dem specifically, give one true reason, name di condition wey go change your mind, and send am di same day. Four short parts, no padding, and no long explanation of your reasoning, because long explanation dey read like argument and e dey invite argument back.
Di shape be like dis. "Thank you for dis, and especially for di time wey Priya spend to waka me through di roadmap. I go pass on am. Di scope na full role but di budget na part-time one, so I no go fit do am to di standard wey both of us want. If di budget come back for forty and above, I go genuinely like to look am again."
Read di last line again, because na im be di whole difference. Everything before am na decline. Dat line na open door wey get hinge for am.
Wetin be di one condition wey dey keep di door open?
Di specific situation wey you go talk yes under am, stated as fact, no be as politeness. "If di budget reach forty." "If di start date move go October." "If di scope drop to di two integrations." One condition, checkable, with number or date inside am.
Vague warmth no dey do anything here. "Make we definitely stay in touch" na sentence wey people dey write instead of thinking, and everybody dey read am as di end of di conversation. Condition different because e dey give di other side something to act on. E dey tell dem exactly wetin suppose change and e dey put you for front of dia list if e ever change. E be also di clause wey template no fit write for you, because e depend on your own number and your own timing.
Only name condition wey you go honor. If your answer go still be no for forty, no talk forty. Door wey you no go waka through worse pass no door at all.
I suppose talk di no face to face or for writing?
Di two, for dat order, di same day. Talk am live if una don get live relationship, because person wey invest time for you deserve to hear am from your voice instead of read am inside queue. Den put am for writing within few hours.
Di written version no be formality. Na di version wey dem go forward, file, and read again for six months when di budget change, and na am dey carry your condition clause enter di future for your own words. Speak di no, write di door.
Do am di same day wey you decide too. Na delay dey actually burn bridge, no be di answer itself. Every extra day of silence dey cost di other side scheduling, candidates and goodwill, and fast no na gift wey dem go remember far pass slow yes.
If dis na person wey you go like to work with one day, add one line about wetin you go want next time. "If version of dis one come up with di full scope funded, I go rearrange things for am." Dat one no be flattery. Na specification, and na di kind of sentence wey people dey keep.
Wetin I go talk if I sabi person wey better for di job?
Send di name. Decline wey end with good introduction stop to be loss for dem and e turn favor, and e no dey cost you anything wey you dey keep. Na di strongest thing wey you fit put inside no, and e dey take one sentence.
Do am properly, because lazy referral no dey help anybody. Talk wetin di person sabi specifically instead of say dem great: "Ade rebuild di checkout for Marlow and e sabi di payments side unusually well, wey be most of dis project." Vague praise na noise. To name di actual thing wey person do, in front of di person wey dey decide, na career event for dem and e dey cost you one sentence.
Dat specificity matter most when di person wey you dey send dey earlier for dia career pass you. Dem never get di reputation wey dey make name land on im own, so na your sentence dey do di work wey dia track record never fit do. Ask dem first, den make di introduction wey you for easily keep for yourself.
KEEP CALM founder name giving back as one of di reasons why im own career work, and he do am di whole way up instead of after he don arrive, and he talk say wetin come back na ten times. Dat na im account of im own twenty years, no be rule wey you suppose expect make e run for schedule. Wetin easy to verify small pass: two years later, di people wey go remember you rarely be di ones wey you close deal with. Na di ones wey you hand something.
How I go sabi real walk-away from cold feet?
Check am against number or condition wey you write down before di conversation start. Real walk-away na decision wey match something wey you decide when nothing dey at stake. Cold feet na decision wey just show dis morning and e be mostly nerves.
Negotiators dey call di thing wey you go do instead your best alternative, and di reason to define am early na exactly dis moment. If di offer dey below di figure wey you set on one quiet afternoon, to waka na plain arithmetic and you fit do am with steady voice. If e pass dat figure and you still wan comot, di honest question na wetin change, and na usually di scope, di manager or di timeline, no be di money. Dat one worth to name out loud, because e fit dey fixable while di money never be di problem.
Di bridge na di asset
You go meet dis people again. Industries small pass how dem look, and di person wey interview you today na di person wey go dey hire for better place in two years.
Dat na di actual reason to do dis thing well, and e no get anything to do with to dey nice. Reputation say you dey talk no clean, quick, and with name attached na business asset wey dey pay for one whole decade, and na sentences wey you fit afford dem build am with. Di people wey dey last long for any field no be di ones wey never turn anything down. Na di ones wey nobody mind to hear no from.
Write am today. Thank dem, one reason, one condition, one name if you get. Den go collect di deal wey you actually want, with di same steadiness and no burnt bridge behind you.
Sources
- Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School, What is BATNA? How to Find Your Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement
- Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School, Relationships in Negotiation: The Advantages of Rapport Building
- Harvard Business Review, Control the Negotiation Before It Begins