Person wey you love get date for calendar. Partner wey get interview for Thursday, padi wey wan defend thesis, nephew wey get audition, junior colleague wey wan pitch for the first time. Dem don do the work and dem sabi the thing. Wetin remain na one day wey get too many small small decision inside, and you stand near enough to carry some of those decision comot for dem.
No athlete dey run big day alone. Somebody dey hold the timeline, somebody dey hold the food, somebody dey talk the last word before the start. None of those people dey perform, and none of dem be optional. Sport get name for the role, the corner, and the useful part be say na job description, no be feeling. You fit do am for person tomorrow, and e no go cost you up to one hour of your own day.
Wetin person really need from me the day before their big thing?
One whole work, carry am comot for their hand and call am out loud so dem fit stop to dey track am. Sleep, food, transport and timeline na the four wey dey chop attention pass, and you fit carry any of dem even if you no sabi anything about their field.
Pick one and be specific about am. "I get the driving, dey outside by 7:40" na corner sentence. "Make you tell me if you need anything" no be, because e quietly push the decision back give the person wey get the least space for am.
Those four work no be by chance. Na wetin coach dey manage for athlete, and dem still stand outside sport for the same plain body reason. When college basketball players add more sleep every night for some weeks, their sprint time and their shooting accuracy two improve, wey be strong result for something wey boring like that. Food na the same argument for shorter clock: person wey no chop anything till two for afternoon dey run the most important hour of their year on empty tank. Caffeine get one line of thought, and the line be say the morning of the event no be the morning to change the dose. The Food and Drug Administration talk say 400 milligrams a day, wey be like two to three twelve ounce cup of coffee, na amount wey no dey generally cause bad effect for healthy adult, and big day no be good time to go find your own ceiling.
Training belong for this list too, and e worth talking am plain instead of as small wellness talk. Person wey dey train dey meet fast heartbeat, heavy breathing and real effort on purpose every week, so on the day, those feeling go come as something familiar instead of as judgment. Na way to carry pressure, no be hobby wey dey compete with the work.
Wetin I go talk to person wey dey fear before big day?
Name one specific thing wey dem sabi do well, tie am to work wey you actually see dem do, then stop. "You go do well" na prediction wey dem no fit check, but specific observation na evidence wey dem fit carry enter the room.
Talk the real version out loud. "The way wey you handle that question about the timeline last month na the best answer anybody give" beat one hour of encouragement, because na fact, and fact dey survive nervous morning the way sweet mouth no fit.
One more line dey wey worth having ready, and e near be the opposite of the obvious one. Most people, if you ask dem how to help person wey dey wired, go land for some version of calm down. Across studies of karaoke singing, public speaking and maths under time pressure, people wey label that same shaking feeling as excitement perform better pass people wey try to calm demself down, and the whole intervention small reach say person talk "I dey excited" out loud or dem tell am make e get excited. So hand dem the useful sentence for door. That one na the good kind nervous. You don ready. Go.
Vague praise na noise. To name wetin person actually do, in front of the people wey their opinion matter, na career event for dem and e cost you one sentence. So talk am where e count if you get the chance. Message to dem good. The same sentence talk in front of their manager, their teacher or their group na different thing entirely, and na the cheapest thing wey you go give anybody this year.
How I go take help without adding pressure?
No bring anything new for that day, and that one include your advice. Anything wey dem no fit rehearse no be help, na one more load to hold.
The rule cover pass wetin e look like. No new material, no clever reframe wey you read this morning, no story about when e bad for you, no fresh question about section wey dem don settle last week. Ask once, early, wetin dem want from you for the next few hours, then be exactly that and nothing else.
Be boring and be on time. Answer the question wey dem actually ask. No dey check dem every hour, because person wey dey track your worry dey spend attention wey dem don already give another place. And when e start, comot for road. Corner no dey follow athlete enter the ring.
Wetin if I no dey there for that day?
Send one message the night before, for time wey una agree before, name the work wey you carry and the specific thing wey you sabi say dem good for, then keep quiet till dem come out. Distance no dey remove almost any of corner real work, because three out of the four work na decision, no be presence.
You fit own timeline from another city. You fit book the car, arrange make food land by seven, put the printout inside shared folder, and be the person wey confirm the address so nobody go dey check am for midnight. Wetin you no fit do from far na to dey hover, wey good, because hovering na the part wey for cost dem anyway.
Agree the shape so that silence no go read like absence. Tell dem say you go send one message tonight and one after, and say you no go dey check in during. Then hold am exactly so. Person wey sabi exactly when you go show no dey spend any attention on wondering.
Wetin I dey gain from running another person big day?
You dey learn the routine pass the person wey dey live am, because you dey run am with your own nervous system comot for road. Na why coach dey calm for day wey dey frighten competitor, and na the cheapest rehearsal wey dey for your own next one.
Person wey found KEEP CALM talk this thing plain about im own twenty years. E hustle im whole life for wetin e get and find way to stay calm through am, and e talk say another secret na to give back: always dey look for chance to coach, train, advise, lift up, praise and champion the people wey dey im circle, and say the support wey come back to am na tenfold. Na im own account of im own life, no be law of physics, and nobody suppose do this thing while dem dey hold receipt.
The smaller claim na the one wey you fit bank on. Run another person morning three or four times and you go find say the routine don enter your hand, no be for your note again, on the day wey you finally need am under pressure. Nobody dey read sprinter routine as proof say she want the race small, and nobody dey read her coach as person wey no get im own ambition.
To be person corner na skill, and e dey travel
Do this thing few times and two things go follow. You go end up with working routine for your own big day, tested on another person nerve instead of paid for with your own. And you go become the person wey people dey tell about the date for their calendar, wey be how you dey hear about room before e open.
So do the small version tonight. Pick the work, send one sentence wey name am and the time, and carry am comot for their list finally. Tomorrow, talk the specific true thing for door, in front of somebody if you fit. Then stand back make dem waka enter and do the thing wey dem don spend months to prepare for.
Sources
- PubMed, The effects of sleep extension on the athletic performance of collegiate basketball players
- U.S. Food and Drug Administration, Spilling the Beans: How Much Caffeine is Too Much?
- PubMed, Get excited: reappraising pre-performance anxiety as excitement