Public Speaking Nerves: How to Calm the Fear Before You Go Speak

The night before, you no fit sleep. The morning of am, you no fit chop. And for the last few minutes before you stand up, your heart dey go like say you just sprint up staircase, your hand dey damp, and one small, sure voice dey tell you say you dey about to disgrace yourself in front of everybody wey you know.

First thing wey worth to talk: plenty people dey with you. Fear to speak in front of others na one of the most common fear wey people dey report, full stop. Plenty people wey look completely at ease on top stage dey feel exactly wetin you dey feel for backstage. The polished talk wey you admire probably get shaky, sweaty hour before am. Calm on the outside almost never mean calm on the inside. E mean say dem practice.

Dis no be flaw for your character, and e no be sign say you no fit do the work. Na very old piece of wiring wey dey do exactly wetin dem build am to do, at the worst possible moment.

Why your body dey treat presentation like threat

For most of human history, to dey watched closely by a group mean say something dey at stake. To belong to the group keep you alive; to be judged and cast out no. Your nervous system never get the memo say quarterly update no be matter of survival. So when a dozen face turn towards you, the same alarm wey for fire if you step in front of car go fire instead.

Adrenaline go flood in. Your heart go speed up to move blood to your muscle. Your breath go go quick and shallow. Blood go pull away from your hand and your gut, na why your palm go cold and your belle go drop. And the thinking, planning part of your brain go quiet down so the fast, reactive part fit take over. That last one na the cruel part. The exact moment wey you most need your words, the system go borrow the resources wey you for use find dem, and you go feel your mind go blank.

None of that mean say anything don go wrong. E mean say your body dey treat dis as important. The goal no be to shut the alarm off completely. Small of that charge actually dey sharpen you. The goal na to turn the volume down to where you fit think.

The reframe wey dey do the most work

Here na one small shift wey sound almost too simple to matter, and e no simple like that.

The physical feeling of fear and the physical feeling of excitement dey nearly identical. Heart wey dey pound, quick breath, jittery energy, sense say something big dey about to happen. The body dey do roughly the same thing for the two. Wetin dey different na the story wey you put on top am.

When you tell yourself "I dey terrified," you dey fight your own body, dey try force the alarm down, and the fight itself dey add second layer of stress. When you tell yourself "I dey fired up for dis," you dey let the same energy run for useful direction. You no have to fully believe am. Just to talk am out loud, even quietly, dey give your brain a less frightening explanation for wetin your heart dey do.

The other reframe wey worth to keep: the audience no be your enemy. People for a room mostly want make the speaker do well. Dem no dey hunt for your mistakes. Dem dey hope say you go worth to listen to so their time no waste. Most of dem dey small relieved say na you dey up there and no be dem.

Wetin to do for the days before

Nerves dey shrink fastest when less unknown dey to fear. Most of wetin dey work dey happen long before you stand up.

• Know your material cold. Mayo Clinic put preparation for the top of the list for a reason: the better wey you know wetin you dey talk, and the more wey you care about am, na the less likely say you go lose your place or dem go throw you. Plan wetin you go cover. Know your opening line by heart.
• Practice out loud, on your feet, more pass how e feel necessary. To read your notes silently no be the same skill as to talk the words while you dey stand, dey hear your own voice for the air. Run am for a friend, your phone, a mirror, an empty room. The version of you wey don talk dis sentences twenty times dey far steadier pass the one wey dey talk dem for the first time in front of crowd.
• No write a script wey you have to read. Word-for-word script dey make you hostage to one exact wording, and the second wey you lose your place you go panic. Speak from short list of points instead. You know more pass how you think; trust am to come out.
• Scout the room if you fit. Stand where you go stand. Find where the water dey. To know the space dey remove a dozen tiny surprises wey for otherwise pile onto your nerves for the moment.
• Plan your first sixty seconds especially well. The fear dey peak right before you begin and for the opening moments. If you get the start on rails, you go ride through the worst of the spike on autopilot, and your body go settle once e realize say nothing terrible dey happen.

Wetin to do for the moment

When the nerves arrive anyway, and dem go, you get more handles pass how e feel.

1. Slow your exhale. Dis na the fastest tool wey you get. Before you stand, take few slow breaths and make the out-breath longer pass the in-breath. Long, slow exhale na direct signal to your nervous system say the emergency don over. E no go make the feeling vanish, but e dey lower the peak.
2. Put your feet on the floor and feel dem. Anxiety dey live up for your chest and head. To deliberately notice your feet, your weight, the ground, dey pull some of your attention back down into your body and comot from the spiral of "wetin if."
3. Look for the kind faces. Almost always few people dey nod, dey smile, dey with you. Find dem early and speak to dem. No scan for the bored or skeptical face and perform for am.
4. Let the first pause be okay. Silence dey feel like eternity to you and like one beat to everybody else. If you lose your place, pause, look at your notes, breathe, and pick am back up. The audience dey read a calm pause as confidence, no be failure.
5. Slow down. Nerves dey make us rush, and rushing dey make us breathless, wey dey feed the nerves. Speak more slowly pass how e feel natural. E dey buy you time to think and e dey read as composed.
6. Keep your focus on the message, no be on yourself. The spiral dey get worse when all your attention dey on how you dey come across. Put am on the thing wey you dey there to talk and the people wey you dey talk am to. You get something to give dem. Give am.

A word on the things wey people dey reach for to take the edge off. A glass of wine beforehand dey usually backfire; e fit blur the recall wey you work so hard to build. Caffeine on already-racing heart dey usually make the physical symptoms louder, no be quieter. Go easy on the two before you speak.

The symptoms wey you dey dread, one by one

Plenty of the fear no be really about the talk. Na about one specific, visible thing wey go wrong with your body in front of everybody. The National Institute of Mental Health list dis as classic signs of performance anxiety, blushing, sweating, trembling, heart wey dey race, voice wey dey shake, mind wey dey go blank. Worth to know wetin each one be and wetin dey help.

• The shaky voice. Trembling voice dey come from tight chest and held breath, no be from weakness. The fix na counterintuitive: breathe lower and slower, and let your first sentences be ones wey you don talk hundred times so you no dey also strain to remember. The shake almost always dey settle within a minute once your breathing even out.
• The blank mind. Dis na the one wey people fear most, and na the alarm dey do im job small too well. If e happen, stop. Look at your notes. Take a breath. Repeat your last sentence if you have to. Few seconds of silence dey feel like forever to you and like nothing to the room. The blank dey pass much faster when you no panic about the blank.
• Shaking hands. Give dem a job. Hold small card, a clicker, the edge of the lectern, lightly. Idle hand dey tremble more visibly pass busy ones, and steady grip dey give the jitters somewhere to go.
• Blushing and sweating. Here na the freeing part: you dey feel dis far more pass anybody dey see am. Wetin feel like furnace for your face na usually invisible from ten feet away. To try stop blushing only dey add pressure. To let am be there, and carry on, na wetin dey make am fade.
• The pounding heart. You no fit will am slower, but you fit lengthen your exhale, wey gently dey tell am say the threat dey pass. Remember say the audience no fit hear your heartbeat. The thing wey feel enormous inside you na completely private.

The theme across all of dem na the same. To fight the symptom dey feed am. To allow am, while you keep doing the thing, dey let am pass on im own.

E dey get easier, and that no be just talk

The most reliable cure for dis fear na the thing wey the fear most want you to avoid: to do am again. Every time wey you speak and survive, and you go survive, your brain dey collect evidence say the catastrophe wey e predict no come. Therapists dey call the structured version of dis exposure, and na core part of how dem dey treat the fear of public speaking. Big review of psychological treatments find say, across many approaches, people wey get help genuinely get better, and, strikingly, keep improving even after the treatment end. The skill dey build quietly for the background.

You fit stack the deck by to start small. Ask a question for meeting. Offer a toast. Speak up for group of three before you worry about group of thirty. Each rep na small deposit, and dem add up faster pass how you go guess.

When e pass ordinary nerves

For most people, public speaking nerves dey uncomfortable and completely manageable. For some, the fear heavier pass that. If the dread so strong wey you dey turn down opportunities, change your plans, or quietly arrange your work and your life around to never have to speak, that one worth to pay attention to. Fear of performance situations like dis fit be part of social anxiety, wey common, real, and very treatable.

No prize dey for to white-knuckle am alone. If dis fear dey cost you things wey you care about, conversation with your doctor or a therapist na reasonable, ordinary step. Talk therapy, especially the kind wey dey help you face the fear for small, supported doses, get strong track record here. To reach out no be admission say you spoil. Na how plenty confident speakers take become that way.

You no have to love to stand in front of a room. You just have to fit do am when e matter, with your hand small steadier and your thoughts your own. That one dey within reach, and closer pass how the fear go make you believe.

Where dis info come from

• Mayo Clinic, Fear of public speaking: How can I overcome it?
• National Institute of Mental Health, Social Anxiety Disorder: More Than Just Shyness
• Frontiers in Psychology (via PubMed Central), Psychological Interventions for the Fear of Public Speaking: A Meta-Analysis