You don spend two years inside something wey you good for. Di work dey go well, people dey trust you with more of am, and you fit see di next step from where you stand. And somewhere inside di last month you catch yourself dey try remember whether na you pick dis one or you just inherit am.
Dat question deserve ten minutes, no be ten months, and test dey for am. Two questions, asked plain, with clear pass and clear fail. Dem no dey ask whether you enjoy your work, whether you dey grateful, or whether you dey di right path for some bigger sense. Dem dey ask where di goal come from and wetin e make of, and borrowed goal dey fail dem fast. Di point of running di test no be to talk you out of anything. Na to make sure say di effort wey you dey about to spend for di next five years land on something wey you really choose.
Wetin be di two questions?
One: you go still want dis thing if nobody ever hear say you get am? Two: you want di daily work, or na only di title for di end?
Ask dem one by one, about one specific goal, out loud if you fit. Di first question dey remove di audience. Di second dey remove di ending. Whatever remain after di two na di part wey belong to you.
Real goal dey survive di two. You go still want di business even if e dey run under another person name. You go still want di skill even if nobody clap. And di ordinary Tuesday of di work na something wey you go choose over comfortable alternative. Borrowed goal dey fail immediately and clearly: di sweetness dey drain di moment wey you remove di audience, and di daily work na something wey you dey endure just to collect one moment for di end.
Partial pass common, and e dey give information, e no be death sentence. Most people dey find say di goal na dia own but di timeline na borrowed, or di field na dia own but di specific title come from one manager.
Why di nobody-dey-watch test dey work?
Because e dey separate wetin you value from wetin you want make people see say you value, and di two dey produce very different amount of effort over long time.
Sheldon and Elliot follow people through goal striving across three longitudinal studies and find say goals wey fit person own developing interests and values dey pull more sustained effort, dey more likely to be attained, and dey produce more well-being when dem attain am. Goals wey people adopt for external reasons underperform for all three.
Di practical translation na about year three, no be year one. Anybody fit push hard on borrowed goal for eighteen months, wey be why di test no be question about your current motivation. Di gap dey open when di work stop to dey visible and nobody dey around to be impressed. Goal wey only dey exist in front of audience go stop to produce for di days wey nobody dey watch, and na dose days be most of dem.
If you fail dis question, dem don hand you useful information cheap, inside like one minute, for year two instead of year eight.
Why wanting di daily work matter pass wanting di outcome?
Because you go spend like two thousand days on di daily work and about one hour on di outcome, and dat ratio no send how you feel about am.
Csikszentmihalyi and LeFevre give 78 adults beepers for one week and find say di quality of dia experience depend on whether challenge and skill match, and say most of dia absorbing moments happen for work, no be during leisure. Absorption dey available inside di daily work, wey mean say di Tuesday question no be question about endurance. Na question about whether di hours demself get anything inside for you.
Be specific, no be general. No be "I wan run company", na "I wan spend Tuesday morning on hiring, cash flow and one difficult client". No be "I wan be writer", na "I wan spend two hours dey rewrite di same four paragraphs". Then ask somebody wey dey currently do am wetin dia week really contain, and run di question again against dia answer instead of against your own picture of di job.
Where borrowed goals dey come from?
From people wey you dey stand near while dem dey chase something, wey na documented mechanism, no be weakness of character. Aarts, Gollwitzer and Hassin show across six studies say people dey pick up goal wey another person behaviour imply and then dey act on am for different situation, without dem ever deciding.
Na why di third step of dis test na to name di person. Write down who you first hear dis goal from: manager, parent, one founder wey you read for two years, one very persuasive person for internet. Naming dem no be accusation. Plenty goals dey arrive dis way and dem still turn out to be genuinely your own, and Lockwood and Kunda find say outstanding example dey inspire instead of deflate when di success look attainable and di field na one wey you care about.
Di tell na wetin happen next. Goal wey come from another person and become your own go keep producing when dat person don comot from di picture. Goal wey still be dia own go go quiet di moment you stop to read dem, or e go dey change shape every time dem change direction. Check dat one against your own last two years, wey na matter of record, no be matter of feeling.
Wetin I go do with goal wey fail di test?
Keep di reason and change di shape. Most failed goals no dey wrong about wetin you want, dem dey wrong about di container, and di repair small pass di alarm.
Write di reason under di goal for one sentence. Wetin you really dey go for: security, range, being trusted with hard problems, work wey you go proud make your name dey on am. Then ask whether di reason still hold, because e usually dey hold. If e hold, you dey choose new vehicle for reason wey you still believe, wey na change of plan, no be failure of mind.
Keep wetin di borrowed goal build too. Two years wey you spend on another person goal still buy you skill, network and set of proofs. Dat one no be sunk cost, na inventory, and e dey follow you go.
Then write di new one down properly, with di two questions run against am before you start, and date wey you go check am again.
Run di test on di biggest thing wey you dey carry
Do am dis week, on di biggest goal wey you hold, and give am one minute instead of one afternoon.
You go still want am if nobody hear? You want di Tuesday work? Who you first hear am from? Goal wey pass all three don earn your next five years, and you go fit stop to dey ask di question, wey worth pass di answer, because relitigating decision every few months na wetin really dey drain ambitious person.
None of dis na argument say make you want less. Na argument say make you make sure say di thing wey you ready to work extremely hard for na your own, so dat di work go compound instead of evaporating di day wey di audience turn dia back.
Sources
- Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Goal striving, need satisfaction, and longitudinal well-being: the self-concordance model
- Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Optimal experience in work and leisure
- Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Goal contagion: perceiving is for pursuing
- Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Superstars and Me: Predicting the Impact of Role Models on the Self