Three good road dey open. You fit argue well well for any one of dem, and na exactly that be the wahala, and you don read the same list of pros and cons for one whole week and e never tell you anything new. This no be say you no fit decide, and e no be say you no sabi yourself. Na wetin dey happen when person wey sharp try answer question about himself by just imagining harder.
Imagination na wrong tool for this work. You already get better one: the record of wetin you don actually do, week after week, with nobody dey force you. That record no fine, e too specific, and e no dey praise you, na why e correct pass any amount of visualizing. Wetin dey come na how to read am for about forty minutes, and how to test the answer before you give am five years of your life.
Why imagining the options no dey work?
Because you dey simulate life wey you never live, and people bad for that thing for one particular way. Gilbert, Killingsworth, Eyre and Wilson show for Science for 2009 say people predict dia own reaction to speed date and to peer evaluation better when all wey dem get na report of how one other person react, pass when dem get full gist about the event itself. And dem no believe am. Participants and observers, both of dem assume say the detailed description for work better.
That result dey very useful for career decision. E dey talk say the correct data na somebody lived report, no be your own forecast, and say the confidence wey you get for your own forecast no be evidence for anything.
So stop to dey ask which option you go love. That question dey run purely on simulation. Ask wetin the record don already talk, then go collect one person lived report about the road wey you dey consider. Both of dem na evidence. The daydream, no matter how sweet e sweet, no be evidence.
Wetin for my record really count as evidence?
Four things, and all four na behavior. Wetin dey make you forget time, wetin you dey gree do before you even get time to think, wetin you keep doing without pay and without anybody dey watch, and the compliment wey you always wave comot.
Set forty minutes and write:
- The last ten times wey you lose track of the clock. No be the sweet evenings. Na the specific tasks. Csikszentmihalyi and LeFevre follow 78 adults with beepers for one week and find say the quality of experience follow whether challenge and skill match, and say most of those absorbing moments happen for work, no be for leisure. Absorption na signal about the work itself.
- The last five things wey you say yes to sharp sharp. How fast your yes come na data. Deliberation na where you dey argue yourself into things.
- Everything wey you do last year wey nobody ask you to do. No pay, nobody dey watch, no reward, and you still do am.
- The compliment wey you keep dismissing. Write am as plain sentence, for the exact words wey the person use.
No dey interpret while you dey write. Interpreting na the next step and e go easy well well once twenty entries don sidon for table.
How I go read the list without deceiving myself?
Look for the verb, no be the field. Underline wetin you dey physically do for each entry: explaining, building, negotiating, arranging, fixing, deciding, hosting. The nouns for your list na jobs and industries and dem go change three times for one career. The verbs na wetin dey really pull you, and dem dey travel with you.
Then count. Verb wey show up for six out of twenty entries dey tell you something wey one dramatic memory no fit tell you. Watch the overlap between the unpaid column and the absorbed column well well, because that intersection na the closest thing to direct answer wey this exercise fit give you.
Two warnings. Discount anything wey show only once, no matter how vivid e be. And separate the thing itself from the room wey e happen. Correct year fit be about the craft, or e fit be about the two people wey you sidon near, and those two point you go completely different direction. Ask which part for still sweet with different colleagues, for different building, for different employer. The parts wey survive all three swaps na the ones wey you fit build ten years on top.
How I go test the answer before I commit?
Run am for two weeks for the smallest size possible, then ask person wey dey already do the full size version wetin ordinary Tuesday really contain.
The small test no be pilot project and e no be side business. Na four hours of the actual verb: one client, one lesson wey you teach, one prototype, one negotiation wey you do for another person behalf. You no dey test whether you fit do am. You dey collect the same kind of evidence wey you just dig from your past, only say na about the future, and two weeks of am beat two months of thinking about am.
The second half matter pass wetin people expect, and na direct application of that neighborly advice finding. Find one person wey dey do the thing and ask narrow question: last Tuesday look like wetin, hour by hour? No be whether dem like am, and no be wetin advice dem get. Dia report of one real day dey predict your own reaction better pass your own imagining.
Payoff dey for picking this way instead of guessing. Sheldon and Elliot find say goals wey fit person own growing interest and values dey pull steady effort and dey more likely to happen. Goals wey evidence pick na the ones wey dey hold when the new-new feeling don comot.
Wetin if the record point where I no wan go?
Take am serious, then act small. Record wey dey point somewhere inconvenient still na the best information wey you get, and the correct response no be to scatter good career because of list wey you write on Sunday.
The usual finding no be change of direction. Na change of proportion. Your list talk say explaining, and e turn out say you dey do am ninety minutes for one month, so the move na to carry am reach eight hours inside the job wey you already get before you consider anything bigger. Na conversation with your manager be that, no be resignation letter.
Watch the opposite failure too. If option appear for your list only as title, and never as verb, e come from outside you. The verbs na your own. The titles usually belong to another person, and dem be the most expensive thing for the page to chase by mistake.
Pick from the record, then go hard
You get three good options and no way to feel your way to the correct one. Nobody get that. Wetin you get na evidence wey you don already produce: the verb wey keep repeating, two-week version of am, and one person account of one real Tuesday.
Then choose, and stay for that choice long enough make the choice compound. The reason to do the evidence work no be fear. Na so you go fit face the thing without dey reopen the decision every eight weeks, because reopening na wetin dey really cost people the whole decade.
You no lost and you no lack motivation. You get too many good options, wey na better problem, and list and pen dey solve am, no be retreat.
Sources
- Science, The surprising power of neighborly advice
- Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Optimal experience in work and leisure
- Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Goal striving, need satisfaction, and longitudinal well-being: the self-concordance model