Sɛnea Wobɛyɛ Nkɔmmɔ a Woreyi Wo Ho Afi Mu No

Wunim no. Ade a daa wopɛ sɛ woka kyerɛ wo hokafo, wʼawofo, wo adamfo, wo wura. Woasua no wɔ adwareyɛ mu. Woakyerɛw nkrasɛm no na woapopa. Ebia woasi gyinaeɛ mprɛnsa sɛ ɛnnɛ ne da no, na afei ɛnnɛ adane nnawɔtwe a ɛreba komm.

Nkɔmmɔ no te wo koko mu a entua ka. Ɛwɔ hɔ bere a worentumi nna, na ɛwɔ wo suro ketewa a wote no bere biara a wobɛn onipa no na asɛm no sensɛn mframa mu a wonkaa ho no mu.

Yɛpɛ sɛ yɛka biribi a ɛyɛ brɛoo kan. Sɛ woyi wo ho fi mu a ɛnkyerɛ sɛ woyɛ ɔbɔbɔni. Ɛkyerɛ sɛ wʼamene reyɛ nea enti a ɛyɛ no de a ɛnam so nyini ankasa.

Nea enti a wo nipadua fa nkɔmmɔ sɛ asiane

Wʼamene fã a ɛhwɛ asiane so no ntwa ɔhye pefee wɔ nipadua asiane ne abusuabɔ mu asiane ntam. Ntɔkwaw ho hokwan, sɛ wɔbɛte wo ase mfomso, sɛ obi a wodɔ no betwe ne ho afi wo ho, kan sɛ asiane. Wo koma fa mmirika. Wo yam tee. Wʼadwene hyɛ ase yɛ nsɛm a ɛyɛ hu, baako biara sen nea edi kan.

Enti woyɛ nea ɛma nnyigyei no brɛ ase ntɛm. Woyi wo ho fi mu. Na ɛyɛ adwuma, awia bi. Awerɛkyekye no yɛ nokware, na ɛno ankasa nti na su no si pi.

Ɔhaw no ne nea ɔkwan a woyi wo ho fi mu yɛ wɔ bere mu. Asɛm a wonkaa no nnan hwee. Ɛyɛ den. Afenhia nketenkete boaboa ano. Akwantentententen nyini wɔ ɔkwan a anka nkɔmmɔ no bɛyɛ, na dodow a wotwɛn no, dodow no ara na ade no nyinaa yɛ kɛse na ɛyɛ hu wɔ wo tirim. Wuwie wʼani ano gye nea wo ankasa woyɛ no.

Nkɔmmɔ a ɛwɔ wo tirim no yɛ tan sen nea ɛyɛ nokware no

Nhwehwɛmu bi wɔ hɔ a ɛfata sɛ wode si wʼadwene mu, efisɛ ɛkɔ tia asɛm a dadwene ka kyerɛ wo no denneɛnnen.

Nhwehwɛmufo a Nicholas Epley di kan wɔ University of Chicago no yɛɛ nhwehwɛmu pii a wɔde bisaa nkurɔfo sɛ wɔnkyerɛ sɛnea nkɔmmɔ a mfaso ne nokware wɔ mu bɛkɔ, na afei wɔsusuw sɛnea ɛkɔɔ ankasa. Daa nkurɔfo susuu sɛ saa nkɔmmɔ no bɛyɛ aniwu sen sɛnea ɛkɔ ankasa. Wɔsiesie wɔn ho maa anim a ɛho yɛ wɛ ne komm. Nea wonyae mmom ne nkitahodi. Wɔ nhwehwɛmu no nyinaa mu no, nkurɔfo susuu sɛ onipa a aka no ani rennyɛ ne ho wɔ nea wopɛ sɛ woka no ho dodo.

Dwen nea ɛyi kyerɛ ma nkɔmmɔ a woreyi wo ho afi mu no. Nea ɛrekɔ so wɔ wo tirim, baabi a onipa no de ne ho bɛto ase, ɔbɛyɛ ahwehwɛ ho ban, ɔbɛkɔ, no, ampa ara, ɛyɛ kusuu sen nea ɛbɛyɛ ankasa. Wʼadwene nyɛ ɔkasakyerɛni a ɔnni afã. Bere a wo ho yeraw wo no, ɛkyerɛw ahomeguan.

Ɛno mma nkɔmmɔ a ɛyɛ den nnyɛ mmerɛw. Nanso ɛkyerɛ sɛ loop a ɛyɛ tan a ɛwɔ wo tirim no yɛ adansedie a enni mu. Woresusuw amanehunu a wonni nea enti a ɛsɛ sɛ wohwɛ kwan no pii.

Ansa na woaka kasa baako mpo

Ahosiesie kakra yɛ pii sen sɛ ɛbɛhyehyɛ wo nsɛm. Ɛma wo nipadua dwo, enti woba mu a wugyina pintinn.

Joseph Grenny a ɔboaa kyerɛw *Crucial Conversations* no ka asɛm bi a ɛsesa biribiara komm: hu nea wopɛ ankasa ansa na woahyɛ ase. Ɛnyɛ nkonimdi no. Botae ankasa no. Wopɛ sɛ wo ne onipa yi bɛn anaa? Wopɛ sɛ wusiesie ɔhaw pɔtee bi anaa? Wopɛ sɛ wɔte wo ase anaa? Bere a wunim wo botae ankasa no, wugyae ahosiesie ma ɔko na wuhyɛ ase tu wʼani si nea wopɛ no so.

Nneɛma kakra a ɛboa ansa na ɔpon no bue:

• To nea wopɛ din, wɔ kasamu baako mu, ma wo ho. "Mepɛ sɛ yegyae ntɔkwaw koro no ara" yɛ botae. "Mepɛ sɛ medi nkonim" yɛ afiri.
• Bisa wo ho nea onipa no betumi asusuw sɛ ɔhaw no yɛ. Ɛho nhia sɛ wuteɛ. Sɛ woma wo ankasa wo nsusuwii mu bɛyɛ bɔɔ kakra a ɛma woyɛ otiefo pa.
• Yi bere ne baabi ankasa. Ɛnyɛ sɛ moredidi mu, ɛnyɛ nkrasɛm so, ɛnyɛ da a abrɛ no awiei. Baabi a ɛyɛ komm tew ɔhyew no ase ansa na obiara akasa.
• Ma wo nipadua nnwo kan. Ɔhome baako brɛoo, nan da fam, mmati ase. Worentumi nnwen yiye bere a wo nteasenam wɔ amanehunu mu.

Wonhia kasanhyehyɛe. Wuhia ɔkwan ne nipadua a adwo so a ɛbɛma woadi akyi.

Sɛnea wobɛbue ankasa

Fã a ɛyɛ den koraa ne kasamu a edi kan. Enti ma ɛnyɛ ketewa na ɛyɛ nokware. Wonhia sɛ wode ade no mu duru nyinaa hyɛ ase. Wubetumi aka sɛ ɛyɛ den. "Ade bi wɔ hɔ a daa mepɛ sɛ meka ho asɛm, na ehu aka me sɛ mɛkyerɛ" yɛ mfiase pa koraa. Ɛyɛ nokware, ɛnnyɛ ɔhaw kɛse, na ɛkyerɛ sɛ woba asomdwoe mu.

Efi hɔ no, akwan kakra siw kwan sɛ nneɛma bɛdane ntɔkwaw:

1. Fa wo ankasa wo osuahu kasa, ɛnyɛ akotade. "Sɛ nhyehyɛe sesa berɛ a aka kakra a, ɛkɔ awiei ma mete nka sɛ obi a wɔn werɛ afi me" ma ne ho soronko koraa sen "Daa wugyae me." Baako bue ɔpon. Baako to.
2. Ka ade no pefee, na afei gyae kasa. Pɛ a wopɛ sɛ wokyerɛkyerɛ mu dodo anaasɛ woyɛ no brɛoo kosi sɛ ɛyɛ nwii no, si ano. Pefee ne ayamye boro nea enni mu na wɔde adwene ahyɛ mu.
3. Afei tie, ampa ara. Cleveland Clinic aduruyɛfo ka sɛ bere a nkurɔfo te nka sɛ wɔate wɔn ase ampa a, wogyae sɛ wɔbɛsiesie wɔn ho ama ɔko. Bisa asɛm ankasa. "Sɛnea wuhu no te dɛn?" Na afei ma komm mmra bere a ɔrebua no.
4. Gyina pintinn a worennya abufuw. Botae no ne ayamye, pefee, ne komm. Sɛ wote nka sɛ woreyɛ ma a, eye sɛ woka, "Mepɛ sɛ yɛkɔ so ka eyi ho asɛm, nanso mehia simma baako." Akwantintwa nyɛ nkogu.

Worenyɛ eyinom nyinaa brɛoo. Obiara nyɛ saa. Wobɛkasa mu mfomso, wo nne betumi awosow. Ɛno nyɛ nkogu. Ɛno ne sɛnea ɛyɛ sɛ wobɛyɛ ade a akokoɔduru wom bere a ehu aka wo.

Sɛ ankɔ yiye a

Ɛtɔ da bi a onipa a aka no nsiesie ne ho. Ɔyɛ ahwehwɛ ho ban, anaasɛ ɔyɛ komm, anaasɛ ɔka biribi a ɛyaw. Ɛba, na ɛnyi mfaso a ɛwɔ sɛ wobɔɔ mmɔden no fi mu.

Wubetumi ato bere no din a wonhyɛ no. "Mihu sɛ eyi yɛ pii. Yebetumi asan aba so ɔkyena anaa?" ma mo baanu nyinaa ɔkwan a animuonyam wɔ mu. Nkɔmmɔ baako botae no ntaa nyɛ sɛ wobɛsiesie biribiara. Ɛyɛ sɛ wobɛbue asɛm no ma awiei na atumi akɔ.

Na asɛm a woyi wo ho fi mu no nnka nkyerɛ wo da bi ni: nkɔmmɔ a ankosi yiye mpo no taa ma wo ho tɔ wo sen komm a egyaa hɔ no. Ehu a woasoa no taa yɛ duru sen nkɔmmɔ no ankasa.

Bere a wobɛfrɛ mmoa bi

Nkɔmmɔ a wɔayi wɔn ho afi mu dodow no yɛ deɛ ɛyɛ taa, ɛyɛ den, na wo nko ara wubetumi atra ase. Ebinom nte saa, na ɛfata sɛ woyɛ nokwafo wɔ nea worehyia ho.

Sɛ abusuabɔ no wɔ ɔkwan biara a ɛfa ɔhyɛ, ahunahuna, anaasɛ ehu a ɛfa wo banbɔ ho mu a, akwankyerɛ a ɛwɔ ha yɛ adwinnade a ɛnteɛ, na wo yiyedi di kan. Sɛ nkɔmmɔ a daa woyi wo ho fi mu no si awerɛhow, adwenemhaw, anaasɛ atenka sɛ biribiara dɔɔso dodo so a, ɛnsɛ sɛ wo nko ara siesie no ansa na woanya kwan abisa mmoa. Ɔyaresafo anaa ɔfotufo betumi aboa wo ma woasiesie wo ho ama nkɔmmɔ pɔtee bi, na awarefo anaa abusua mu ɔyaresafo betumi akura nea ɛyɛ den no na ankɔ ntɔkwaw koro no ara mu.

Sɛ wode wo nsa kɔ mmoa so a ɛnyɛ nsɛnkyerɛnne sɛ woadi nkogu wɔ eyi mu. Ɛyɛ nsɛnkyerɛnne sɛ wofa abusuabɔ no, ne wo ankasa, aniberesɛm so araade sɛ woayɛ no yiye.

Nkɔmmɔ no atwɛn. Ɛbɛkɔ so atwɛn, na ayɛ duru kakra dawnawɔtwe biara a woagyaw no. Ɛnsɛ sɛ ehu mmɔ wo ansa na woahyɛ ase. Wuhia sɛ woka kasamu ketewa a edi kan no, na woma nea aka no di akyi.

Nsɛm a wonyae

• American Psychological Association, Getting beyond small talk: Study finds people enjoy deep conversations with strangers
• Cleveland Clinic, 10 Tips To Deal With Difficult People
• Harvard Business Review, 4 Things to Do Before a Tough Conversation
• Harvard Business Review, How to Have Difficult Conversations When You Don't Like Conflict