Afotusɛm ntiantia
- Write the feeling down before you say it.
- Reach for one nearest-true word.
- Start small with a safe, kind person.
Obi a wodɔ no bisa wo sɛnea wo ho ankasa te, na wʼadwene yɛ hu. Ɛnyɛ sɛ wonte hwee nka. Efisɛ asɛm biara nni hɔ a ayɛ krado, kwan a woadwumayɛ so a wode nkate no bɛma no nni hɔ. Woka "Me ho ye," anaa "Mabrɛ," anaa wosesa asɛm no, na hokwan kakra a anka wubebɛn no twa mu.
Nnipa pii ne saa hu no te ase. Mpɛn pii no, ɛsan kɔ ofi a wonyinii mu no so. Ebia nkate no, na wɔnkasa ho wɔ baabi a wofii no. Ebia "Me werɛ ahow" hyiaa "Wo ho ye" anaa kommyɛ, anaa adwuma bi a ɛsɛ sɛ woyɛ. Ebia wʼawofo soa wɔn ankasa adesoa na wɔannya kwan ankyerɛ wo biribi a obiara ankyerɛ wɔn da. Eyinom mu biara nkyerɛ sɛ woasɛe anaa wo ho yɛ nwini. Ɛkyerɛ sɛ nimdeɛ a ɛyɛ daa bi na wɔanyɛ ho dwuma da, sɛnea abofra a sankuten amma ofie da no kɛkɛ ansua sɛnea wɔbɔ bi no.
Asɛmpa no yɛ tea. Eyi yɛ nimdeɛ, na wobetumi akyekye nimdeɛ wɔ mfe biara mu.
Nea enti a nsɛm no remma
Bere a nkate kɔ so yɛ komm mfe pii a, nneɛma abien taa ba. Nea edi kan ne sɛ nsɛm a wɔde ka no annyin da. Wubetumi ate biribi a emu yɛ duru nka wɔ wo koko mu na woannya din amma, enti ɛkɔ so yɛ "bɔne" a wonnim mu yiye. Adwene ho nimdefo wɔ asɛm bi a wɔde ka ɔhaw ankasa a obi nya wɔ nkate akyerɛkyerɛ ne ne nhwehwɛ mu: alexithymia. Ɛda nkyemu so, na nnipa pii a wɔremfa saa asɛm no nso da so ara hu osuahu a ɛne sɛ wote biribi nka denneennen nanso wonni kasa a wode bɛkata ho.
Ade a ɛto so abien ne sɛ nkate ho kasa betumi ate ankasa sɛ ahobammɔ nni hɔ, a ɛboro fɛre so. Sɛ bere bi a wopuee mu maa wɔbuu wo animtiaa anaa wodii wo ho fɛw a, wo nipadua suaa adesua no. Enti seesei mpo, wɔ nnipa a wɔrenyɛ saa da no nkyɛn, kɔkɔbɔ dedaw no bɔ. Wo mene yɛ den. Wodan wʼani. Saa nyaa no nyaa ntease bere bi. Ɛnsom wo bo bio.
Ɛka bi wɔ hɔ a wode tua sɛ wugyaw no hɔ. Nhwehwɛmu a ɛtim de nneɛma a wode sie daa biako biako bata ahokyere a ɛkɔ soro ho, ne sɛ wote nka sɛ wo nko ne mpo wɔ ɔdan a nnipa ahyɛ mu ma mu. Nkate no nyera bere a womemene no. Ɛyɛ a ɛsɔn fi nkyɛn mu, sɛ bo a ɛfuw ntɛm, yafunu mu yaw, akwantende a wuntumi nkyerɛkyerɛ nnipa a wɔbɛn wo paa no mu.
Fi ase fa bɔ no din kyerɛ wo ho
Ansa na woaka asɛm biako kyerɛ obi foforo no, yɛ nneɛma din a wobɔ wɔ wo mu no ho yiye kakra. Saa ɔfa yi yɛ kokoam. Obiara nrehwɛ, na mmuae a ɛnteɛ nni hɔ.
Sɛ biribi keka wo a, bɔ mmɔden fa asɛmfua biako to so. Ɛnyɛ ɔkyerɛw kuntunu. Asɛmfua biako. Ɛyaw. Ehu. Ahomegye. Ɔbrɛ a nna rentumi nsiesie. Cleveland Clinic adwumayɛfo kyerɛ sɛ sɛ wode asɛmfua biako pɛ to so mpo, te sɛ "ɛyaw" anaa "ehu" a, ebetumi ayi ɔhyew kakra afi nkate bi mu. Ɛnsɛ sɛ woyɛ no pɛpɛɛpɛ. Wokɔ asɛmfua nokware a ɛbɛn no ho ara.
Amoa ho nyansahu bi hyɛ eyi ase, na ɛhyɛ nkuran. Bere a nhwehwɛmufo a wɔwɔ UCLA maa nnipa de nsɛmfua too nkate bi so no, amoa kɔkɔbɔ beae, a ɛyɛ amygdala no, yɛɛ komm, na ɔfa a ɛyɛ adwene a ɛkɔ akyiri no bae. Ɔpanyin a ɔdii nhwehwɛmu no anim, Matthew Lieberman, kaa no tiawa mu sɛ: bere a wode asɛmfua "abufuw" bata ho a, wuhu mmuae a abrɛ ase wɔ amygdala no mu. Sɛ wobɔ nkate bi din no nyɛ sɛ woreyi abufuw adi. Ɛyɛ wo ho a wugyina ɔyɛ ketewa bi.
Sɛ asɛmfua biako mpo yɛ den sɛ wobehu a, ɛyɛ daa, na adwinnade bi wɔ hɔ ma no. "Nkate ntwahankoa" a adwene ho nimdefo Gloria Willcox na ɔyɛɛ bi kan wɔ afe 1982 mu no, de nkate kɛse kakraa bi to mfimfini, na afei ɛtrɛw mu kɔ nea ɛyɛ pɔtee so. Wofi ase fa nea ɛyɛ daa ("bɔne"), na afei wotu kɔ akyiri kosi sɛ wuduru biribi a ɛyɛ nokware kɛse ("wogyaw me, " "wɔbɔɔ me abasa mu," "m'ani wui"). Hwehwɛ kasasin no na wubehu nea wubetumi atintim wɔ sekan biako mu. Fa biako sie wo fon so. Ɛyɛ ntoasoɔ ho nkyerɛkyerɛ, na aniwu biara nni nkyerɛkyerɛ ho.
Afei yɛ ho adwuma wɔ krataa so
Sɛ wobɛka nkate bi denneennen akyerɛ onipa foforo no yɛ ade no mu nea ɛyɛ den sen biara. Mfi hɔ na hyɛ ase. Hyɛ ase wɔ baabi a obiara rentumi nyɛ ho biribi.
Kyerɛw to hɔ. Ɛnyɛ nhomatare a ɛsɛ sɛ wokɔ so kyerɛw daa, nsɛm kakraa bi pɛ bere a biribi reda wo so. "Mete nka sɛ meyɛ ketewa wɔ saa nhyiamu no mu, na minnim ne mu yiye." "Me bo afuw no sen sɛnea ɛfata." Ɔkyerɛw ma wo nea nkɔmmɔdi mma: bere a wode dwen, sesa, na woasan abɔ mmɔden kosi sɛ nsɛm no bɛhyia ankasa. Susan David, adwene ho nimdefo a ɔwɔ Harvard Medical School, kamfo kyerɛ sɛ trɛw wo nkate ho nsɛmfua mu boapa, efisɛ dodow a wubetumi abɔ nea ɛrekɔ so din pɛpɛɛpɛ no, dodow no na wubetumi asi gyinae yiye wɔ nea wobɛyɛ ho. "Ahokyere" ne "abasamutu" hia mmuae ahorow koraa. Wuntumi mpaw nea ɛfata sɛ biribiara kenkan sɛ "ade nkɔ yiye" ara kwa a.
Yɛ eyi adapɛn abien ansa na woasesa nkɔmmɔdi biako mpo. Wode kokoam reyɛ ahoɔden no na ɛbɛ wɔ hɔ bere a wuhia no wɔ baguam.
Sɛ woka kyerɛ onipa foforo
Sɛ woasiesie wo ho sɛ wode bɛfi adi denneennen a, ma mmɔden a edi kan no nyɛ ketewa. Worenpɛ koma ne koma ntam nkɔmmɔdi. Worepɛ asɛm nokware biako pɛ.
- Paw nkate a ɛnyɛ kɛse ne onipa a ɔwɔ ahobammɔ. Mfa wo mmofraase mu ade a ɛyɛ den sen biara no nni kan. Sɔ "Saa sini no kaa me koma sen sɛnea mehwɛ kwan" hwɛ wɔ obi a ɔyɛ ayamye nkyɛn. Ma nea ɛyɛ mmerɛw nkɔ yiye kan.
- Fa nhwɛso a ɛyɛ tea di dwuma. "Mete ___ nka wɔ ___ ho." Ɛno ne no. "Mete hu nka wɔ akwantu no ho." "Mete yaw nka bere a nhyehyɛe no sesae na obiara anka ankyerɛ me." Ɛte sɛ nea ɛyɛ mfitiase efisɛ saa na ɛte, na mfitiase yɛ adwuma.
- Bɔ ɔhaw no ankasa din. Ɛyɛ pɛpɛɛpɛ sɛ wobɛka sɛ "Minim eyi yiye, enti nya me ho aboterɛ." Saa nokware no yɛ adwuma abien: ɛtew wo ankasa wo nhyɛso so na ɛka kyerɛ onipa foforo no sɛ ɔnyɛ no brɛoo.
- Fi nea ɛyɛ nokware ma wo, ɛnyɛ nea ɛnteɛ wɔ wɔn ho, so di kan. "Mete nka sɛ wogyaw me" tɔ baabi a ɛyɛ soronko koraa sen "Wugyaw me." Nea edi kan no bue ɔpon. Nea ɛto so abien no taa hyɛ akasakasa ase.
- Wɔama wo kwan sɛ wode atwene a wɔakyerɛw bedi dwuma. Nkrasɛm a ɛka sɛ "Mepɛ sɛ meka biribi kyerɛ wo akyɛ na ɛyɛ mmerɛw sɛ mɛkyerɛw" nyɛ sisi. Ɛyɛ ɔkwan ankasa a wode bɛfa mu.
Hwɛ kwan sɛ ɛbɛte sɛ ɛnkɔ yiye. Saa nkate no nyɛ sɛnkyerɛnne sɛ woreyɛ no bɔne. Ɛyɛ nea wote nka pɛpɛɛpɛ bere a woreyɛ biribi foforo, na ɛyera bere a woyɛ no mpɛn pii. Bere a edi kan no bɛyɛ bere a enye sen biara.
Asɛm bi a ɛfa nnipa a wo ne wɔn nyinii ho
Anidaso bi wɔ hɔ a ɛsɛ sɛ wode aboterɛ di ho dwuma: dae a ɛne sɛ wo ne ɔwofo a na ontumi nyɛ no saa bere no bɛyɛ nkɔmmɔdi a emu dɔ, a ɛfa nkate ho. Bere bi ɛkɔ so yiye. Bere bi onipa a wansua kasa no da so ara ntumi nka, na sɛ wopia denneennen a, ɛma wo werɛ how bio kɛkɛ. Enti kɔ mu a wʼabati abue. Wubetumi ayɛ nokware a enhia sɛ wɔne wo yɛ pɛ. "Medɔ wo na anka mepɛ sɛ yɛkasa pii" yɛ asɛm a edi mu na ɛfata sɛ woka, sɛ nea wonya a ɛne ti a wɔbɔ no denneennen mpo. Wɔn anohyeto fa wɔn ankasa wɔn asɛm a wonwiei ho, ɛnyɛ wo bo. Na akwantende a worehwehwɛ no nnyina wɔn so. Wubetumi ne hokafo, adamfo, onuabarima/onuabea, anaa abusua a woapaw no akyekye.
Bere a wobɛhwehwɛ mmoa
Eyinom bi mu yɛ den boro sɛnea ntoasoɔ nkutoo betumi adu so. Sɛ wobɔ mmɔden sɛ wobɛte wo nkate nka anaa woabɔ din na ɛde ehu, awerɛhow, anaa nkae bi a ɛhwe wo fam ba a, ɛyɛ sɛnkyerɛnne sɛ wode adwuma yi nyɛ ne obi a wɔatete no, ɛnyɛ wo nko. Adwene ho dɔkota betumi aboa wo akyekye nkate ho kasa wɔ ahoɔhare a ɛyɛ ahobammɔ mu, titiriw sɛ kommyɛ a ɛwɔ wʼabusua mu no kura biribi a ɛyɛ hu anaa ɛhaw a. Akwan te sɛ kasa ho aduruyɛ no, wɔayɛ ama eyi ara pɛɛ, na sɛ wode wo nsa kɔ bi so a, ɛyɛ ɔkwan a ɛyɛ den, ɛnyɛ nea ɛyɛ mmerɛw.
Wusuaa sɛ wobɛyɛ komm efisɛ, bere bi, kommyɛ maa wo ho yɛɛ asomdwoe. Ɛno yɛ nyansa saa bere no. Wɔama wo kwan sɛ wubesua biribi foforo seesei, asɛmfua nokware biako biako, ne nnipa a wɔpɛ sɛ wɔte.
Nsɛm a wonyae mu
- Cleveland Clinic, Emotions: How To Express What You Feel
- Cleveland Clinic, How To Use a Feelings Wheel
- UCLA Health, Putting Feelings Into Words Produces Therapeutic Effects in the Brain
- Harvard Business Review, 3 Ways to Better Understand Your Emotions