Afotusɛm ntiantia
- Box swiping into one short window.
- Suggest a real coffee within days.
- Count logging off as a win.
Mpɛn pii no efi ase sɛ ahome a ɛyɛ ketewa. Wofa wo fon sɛ wobɛyɛ biribi foforo, app no badge twe w'ani, na ansa na woasi gyinae bi no, na woreswipe. Simma kakra akyi no wode fon no to fam a wote nka kakra sɛ wo ho nyɛ wo den sen bere a wofaa no, na wuntumi nka nea enti pɔtee. Obiara anyɛ atirimɔden. Biribiara ansi. Ɛno na ɛyɛ ɔhaw no. Biribiara nkɔ so nsi, mpɛn pii, na baabi wɔ saa hwee no nyinaa mu no wo anidaso yɛ tratraa.
Saa nkate a ɛyɛ fam, pɔtɔɔ, a anidaso kakra wɔ mu no wɔ din mprempren. Nnipa frɛ no dating app brɛ, na ɛyɛ nokware a enti nhwehwɛmufoɔ afi ase resusuw ho. Asɛm tiawa no: na app no bɛyɛ ma obi hwehwɛ ayɛ mmerɛw, na nnipa pii fam de ayɛ komm ama abrɛ wɔn mmom.
Sɛ ɛhɔ na wowɔ a, wo ne nnipa pii a ɛyɛ taa wɔ hɔ. Wɔ ɔman nyinaa nhwehwɛmu bi mu, Amerikafoɔ a wɔde dating site anaa app dii dwuma nkyɛe no, na ɛyɛ taa sɛ wɔfi mu a wɔn bo afu sen sɛ wɔwɔ anidaso. Eyi nyɛ wo ho asɛm. Ɛyɛ sɛnea adwinnade yi yɛ adwuma.
Adɛn nti na ɔdɔ ho hwehwɛ fi ase yɛ sɛ adwuma a ɛto so abien
Susuw nea app no bisa wo ankasa ho. Wo scroll fa nnipa anim du-du so, susuw biara ho wɔ simma baako anaa abien mu. Wokyerɛw mfiase asɛm koro a woakyerɛw mpɛn ɔha. Wode nkɔmmɔbɔ a awie fa ɛnan kɔ so bere koro, a emu dodow no ara dum kɔ komm mu. Wɔmatch wo, na afei woaghost wo. Wotwɛn. Wonya nkrasɛm a ɛnkɔ baabiara. Wofi ase bio ɔkyena.
Ɛno, wɔ ne mu nhyehyɛe mu no, te sɛ shift work kɛse. Na brɛ, wɔ ɔyaresa kwan so no, wɔde adwumayɛfoɔ na edii kan suae: brɛ no, atirimɔdensɛm no, nkate a ɛreba sɛ biribiara a woyɛ no nyɛ nsonsonoeɛ. Nhwehwɛmufoɔ kuw bi wɔ Arizona State dii nnipa bɛyɛ ahanlenum a wɔnware na wɔde app no di dwuma akyi nnawɔtwe dumien na wohui sɛ, mpɛn pii no, nnipa nipadua mu brɛ ne wɔn nkate sɛ "eyi nyɛ adwuma ɛmfa ho nea meyɛ" no foroe bere a wɔkɔɔ so. Nnipa a wɔbaa mu a wɔrekura ahopopo, awerɛhow, anaa ankonam dada no taa tee no kɛse.
Nneɛma pɔtee kakra na ɛrebrɛ wo, na ɛboa sɛ wobɛbɔ wɔn din.
Dodow agorɔ no wɔ ne bo
Akwan pii a wɔdaado kyerɛ te sɛ ade pa. Sɛ etwa baabi a, egyae sɛ ɛyɛ saa. Sɛ profile biara ne swipe baako na ɛkari kɔ deɛ ɛdi hɔ a, w'amene siane kɔ shopping mode mu, retoto ne resiesie a entena hɔ koraa. Gyinae ketewa biara yɛ ketewa. Woyɛ ɔha kakra mu. Awie no woabrɛ na woapaw obiara.
Mmaa pii de, ɛhɔ ne hɔ no kɔ ɔkwan foforo so nso. Pew hui sɛ mmaa a wɔde app no dii dwuma nkyɛe no na ɛyɛ taa sen mmarima sɛ nkrasɛm dodow no bɛkata wɔn so, a kyɛfa ankasa kaa sɛ mpɛn pii no nkrasɛm dodow a wonyaa no kataa wɔn so. Akwan a ɛdɔɔso anaa adwene a ɛdɔɔso, ne mmienu nyinaa gyaw wo a woabrɛ.
Po a anim nni mu
Ghosting yɛ ne yaw soronko. Nkɔmmɔbɔ a na ɛyɛ hyew gyae kɛkɛ, na wunhu nea enti da. Awiei a wobɛsɔ mu nni hɔ, enti w'adwene kyerɛw awiei no ma wo, na asɛm a ɛkyerɛw no taa fa wo ankasa wo bo a ɛsom. Sɛnea Cleveland Clinic ɔdwenefoɔ baako ka no, intanɛt mpenatwe yɛ sekan a ano abien: ɛbue abusuabɔ ankasa, na ebetumi apira wo nkate a wowɔ wo ho komm bere koro mu.
Eyi na fa kura mu. Sɛ obi mmua app so a, ɛyɛ nsɛm a wuntumi mfa wo ho ho ntɔ so koraa baako a ɛwɔ hɔ. Nnipa yera efisɛ wɔn ho hia wɔn, wɔsan kɔɔ ex bi nkyɛn, wɔn inbox bɛkataa wɔn ankasa so, anaa na wonsi pi fi mfiase. Ɛyɛ taa sɛ ɛnyɛ atemmu a ɛfa wo ho a ɛte sɛnea ɛte anadwo nnɔn 11 no.
Adeyɛ no nwie da
Profile yɛ wo ankasa wo ho dawubɔ ketewa, na sɛ wokora baako so a, ɛkyerɛ sɛ wowɔ hɔ daa, wɔ ɔkwan a ɛda akyiri komm bi so. Wopaw mfonini a ɛfata. Woyɛ sɛ wo ho yɛ dɛ kɛkɛ. Wokenkan nkrasɛm hwehwɛ ntease a ahintaw. Ɛno yɛ tow ankasa, a ɛkɔ so, wɔ w'adwene so, na ɛyɛ kyɛfa a enti app no to mu no ntaa nte sɛ ahomegye.
Sɛnea wobɛkɔ so ayɛ mpenatwe a ɛrengye wo ho pii
Eyinom mu biara nkyerɛ sɛ gyae. Nnipa pii de, app no de wɔn kɔ baabi pa ankasa. Botae no ne sɛ wobɛyɛ mpenatwe wɔ ɔkwan a ɛrennyae wo mu nkakrankakra no so. Nneɛma kakra a ɛboa ankasa:
- Fa app no hyɛ adaka mu. Si bere a wode bedi dwuma ne bere a worenni dwuma. Simma aduonu wɔ anwummere aduan akyi, ka sɛ, na afei wode fon no to fam. Mpenatwe a ano abue, sɛnea ɛsen kɔ bere a wonyɛ hwee biara mu no, ne nea ɛdan no adwumaden. Adaka ma wo da no nkae san ba wo nkyɛn.
- Papayɛ a esi dodow ananmu, boapɛ. Ɛnsɛ sɛ woswipe fa obiara so. Match ne nnipa kakra na kasa kyerɛ wɔn ankasa. Nkɔmmɔbɔ ankasa kakra bɛka pii akyerɛ wo, na ɛremma wonbrɛ pii, sen mfiase asɛm ɔha a ɛnkɔ baabiara.
- Kɔ asetena ankasa mu ntɛm. Texting a awiei nni mu ne baabi a ahoɔden no sen fi. Sɛ obi te sɛ ɔbɛyɛ ye a, fa kɔɔfe a ɛho nyɛ den anaa fon so frɛ to gua wɔ nna kakra mu. Wubesua wɔ simma du mu wɔ obi anim nea texting nnawɔtwe baako ntumi nka nkyerɛ wo, na wode wo ho kakra na ɛbɛhu.
- Gye home ankasa bere a wuhia no. Sɛ wotwe wo ho nnawɔtwe baako anaa ɔsram baako a, ɛnyɛ sɛ woregyae. Ɛyɛ ɔhwɛso. Yi app no fi wo home screen so, anaa log out koraa, na hyɛ sɛnea wo nkate sesa bere a wonsusuw wo ho da no nyinaa no nsow. Sɛ wosan ba a, wɔbɛtumi ahu onipa a ɔfata no.
- Mfa wo bo a ɛsom no nhyɛ notification nsam. Wo bo a wode bɔ sɛ onipa no, wosii ansa na woyɛɛ profile, na inbox a ɛyɛ brɛoo ntumi mfa ne ho. Sɛ swiping fi ase te sɛ atemmu a ɛfa wo ho a, ɛno ne nsɛnkyerɛnne sɛ to app no mu, ɛnyɛ sɛ woswipe denneennen.
- Gyae assembly-line mfiase nsɛm no. Sɛ wode "hey, wo weekend te sɛn" koro no ara recopy-paste rema obiara a, nkɔmmɔbɔ no bɛyɛ sɛ assembly-line adwuma efisɛ ɛno na ɛyɛ. Fa nkrasɛm kakra na ma biara bua onipa no ankasa, asɛmmisa ankasa baako a ɛfa biribi a ɛwɔ ne profile mu ho. Nsɛm kakra a emu yɛ hyew no nye wo ho sen edu a wɔakyerɛw dada, na ɛtaa kɔ akyiri.
- Kora asetena a app no nyɛ ne fa so. Ade baako a ɛbɔ wo ho ban paa fi dating burnout ho ne asetena a ɛyɛ ma a mpenatwe yɛ ade pa baako wɔ mu, ɛnyɛ ade a biribiara da so. Nnamfo, adwuma a w'ani gye ho, nipadua a ɛkɔ ɔkɔneaba, biribi a woresua. Nnipa a wɔde wɔn ho hyɛ wɔn asetena nkae mu no taa mfa po nyɛ wɔn ankasa wɔn asɛm, efisɛ wɔn ho nkate ntena app no mu retwɛn sɛ wɔbɛkari.
Ɔkwan a ɛyɛ brɛoo a wode bɛkan dwumadi
Yaw no dodow no ara fi ade a ɛnteɛ a wosusuw ho mu. Sɛ wubu session biara so denam sɛ wonyaa The One anaa woanya so a, ɛkame ho na session biara yɛ nkogu, na ampa ara wobɛbrɛ. Sɔ biribi a wo ankasa wode wo nsa ka so hwɛ. So wofrɛɛ obi a na ɔte sɛ ɔyɛ ayamye? So wo ne obi bɔɔ nkɔmmɔ a eye baako? So wo log off bere a wokae sɛ wobɛyɛ, sen sɛ woreyɛ doom-swiping dɔnhwere baako bio? Ɛnonom yɛ nkonimdi. Boaboa pii ano a process no gyae sɛ ɛte sɛ slot machine a wokɔ so di so nkogu.
Ɛboa nso sɛ wobɛkae sɛ app no yɛ adwinnade, ɛnyɛ asaase no. Ɛyɛ ɔkwan baako a wɔfa so hyia nnipa, na ɛba sɛ ɛyɛ ɔkwan a wɔayɛ no sɛ ɛnsɔ w'ani mu na ankyɛ sen sɛnea eye ma wo. Nnamfo da so de nnamfo brɛ nnamfo. Nnipa da so hyia wɔ climbing gym, ɔboayɛ adwuma, adesua, apontoɔ. Sɛ wotew w'aso fi app no so a, ɛnkyerɛ sɛ woretew w'aso fi obi a wobɛhwehwɛ so. Ɛyɛ nyam no a ɛtrɛw mu.
Atotoeɛ afiri no, ne instant spark atosɛm no
Ɔsɛe a ɛyɛ komm bi wɔ hɔ a app no yɛ, na ɛfa sɛnea ɛkyerɛ wo sɛnea wobɛhwɛ nnipa, a wo ankasa ka ho. Sɛ wode obiara si grid a ɛyɛ mfonini a ɛyɛ fɛ koraa ne one-liner a ɛyɛ nyansafoɔ mu a, wofi ase di nnipa kan sɛnea wubu nneɛma a wɔtɔn so. Wo nso wofi ase susuw sɛ wɔrebu wo saa ara, na ɛhɔ na wo ho nkate hwere ase. Wofi ase dwene mfonini a wopaw mu nea "ɛreyɛ adwuma," sɛ wo bio yɛ nyansafoɔ a ɛdɔɔso, adɛn nti na obi a na ɔte sɛ n'ani gye ho no ayɛ komm. Ɛyɛ ɔkwan a ɛyɛ nwonwa, ankonam a wode susuw wo ho, na app no hyɛ no nkuran komm da no nyinaa.
Aduru no nyɛ sɛ wobɛbɔ mmɔden kɛse wɔ grading agorɔ no mu. Ɛyɛ sɛ wopue fi mu. Kae wo ho, mpɛn dodow biara a ɛho hia wo, sɛ profile yɛ onipa fã kakraa bi. Onipa a ɔyɛ serew, ayamye, ɔyɛ awisiaw kakra, ɔyɛ onipa pɛ a ɔwɔ afaafa nyinaa wɔ fã foforo so no ntumi nkɔ mfonini ahansia mu, na wo nso saa ara. Nneɛma a ɛyɛ anigye paa wɔ nnipa ho no ntaa mpue wɔ grid mu da.
Atosɛm bi a ɛbatae a ɛsɛ sɛ wode kɔ home: adwene a ɛkyerɛ sɛ match a ɛfata no bɛhyia wo prɛko pɛ, sɛ wobɛhu fi mfonini no mu, sɛ chemistry ankasa ka ne ho fi nkrasɛm abiɛsa a edi kan no mu. Mpɛn bi ɛyɛ saa. Mpɛn pii ɛnyɛ saa. Abusuabɔ a ɛyɛ den pii fii ase fi nhyiamu a edi kan a na ɛyɛ pɔtɔɔ ne date a ɛto so abien a wɔde maa esiane anibere kakra nti. Sɛ wobisa instant spark fi screen mu a, woswipe fa nnipa pii a anka wɔbɛyɛ wo papa so, na wo ankasa woma wo ho ka hamster wheel no so reti nkate a format no nni hɔ sɛ ɛde bɛma. Sɛ woma obi ɔdɔnhwere a ɛyɛ pɛpɛɛpɛ wɔ anim no taa yɛ ayamye gyinae, ma wɔn ne wo ankasa wo adwene ho.
Bere a brɛ dan biribi a emu yɛ duru
Dating burnout no ankasa, sɛ woahome na woasesa sɛnea wode app no di dwuma a, ɛsɔre. Nanso ɛtɔ da no ɛkyerɛ biribi a ɛhyɛ ase, na ɛno fata sɛ wofa no aniberɛ so.
Sɛ adwene a abrɛ no ansɔre bere a wode fon no to fam, sɛ wode app no di dwuma wɔ ɔkwan a ɛte sɛ ɔhyɛ a ɛyɛ den sɛ wugyae, anaa sɛ po a efi intanɛt rebɔ baabi a emu dɔ na ɛregyaw wo a wote sɛ wonni mfaso anaa anidaso nni hɔ nna pii a, ɛno boro swiping brɛ so. Nhwehwɛmu koro no ara a edii brɛ akyi bere tenten no hui nso sɛ awerɛhow, ahopopo, ne ankonam ma ɛtɔ den kɛse, a ɛkyerɛ sɛ ade a ɛyɛ ayamye paa a wubetumi ayɛ ne sɛ wobɛhwɛ ɛnonom so tee. Sɛ wo ne therapist kasa a, ɛnyɛ nsɛnkyerɛnne sɛ woadi nkogu wɔ mpenatwe mu. Ɛyɛ ɔkwan a wɔfa so hwɛ sɛ obi a worehwehwɛ no ɛnnam komm rentwe afaafa a abusuabɔ ɛsɛ sɛ ɛhyɛ ma no.
Na sɛ ɛda bi wuhu wo ho wɔ baabi a ɛyɛ sum ankasa, baabi a anidaso a enni hɔ no boro mpenatwe so a, mesrɛ wo frɛ onipa a wugye no di anaa adwene ho akwahosan ɔbenkunni. Ɛnsɛ sɛ wo nko ara siesie no, na ɛnsɛ sɛ wo nko ara yɛ.
App no bɛka akyerɛ wo sɛ mmuae no daa yɛ swipe baako bio. Ɛtaa nyɛ saa. Mpɛn pii no mmuae no ne sɛ pagya w'ani fi fon no so, kae asetena a wowɔ dada no, na ma sɛ wobɛhwehwɛ obi no nyɛ ade a woyɛ fi baabi a woahyɛ ma sen ɔkɔm.
Nea efi mu
- Pew Research Center, The experiences of U.S. online daters
- Cleveland Clinic, Dealing With Dating App Despair
- Liesel L. Sharabi, Paige A. Von Feldt & Thao Ha, Burnt out and still single: Susceptibility to dating app burnout over time (New Media & Society)