Afotusɛm ntiantia
- Put your friendships on the calendar.
- Take a walk with no podcast.
- Let a friend show up for you.
Ayeforɔhyia frɛ ba wo nsa mu. Adamfo bisa wo brɛoo sɛ "wone obi nam" anaa. Afahyɛ pono tena nnipa mmienu mmienu na afei wo na woaka. Wiase wɔ ɔkwan a ɛfa so kae nnipa a wɔn nko te hɔ no sɛ wɔn nko te hɔ, mpɛn pii berɛ a wɔagyae ho dwene ara pɛ.
Sɛ emu biara ka wo a, wonyɛ nhyɛsoɔ no ho nsusuiɛ. Amammerɛ nkra bi wɔ hɔ a ɛkɔ so kyerɛ sɛ ɔdɔ hokafoɔ ne deɛ ɛtwa toɔ, na biribiara a edi ɛno anim yɛ baabi a wɔtwɛn. Saa nkra no ano yɛ den, ɛyɛ dada, na mu dodoɔ no ara yɛ deɛ ɛnyɛ nokware fa deɛ ɛma abrabɔ yɛ dɛ ho.
Yɛpɛ sɛ yɛyɛ nokware ɛha, ɛfiri sɛ wode ahohyɛ yɛ adwuma a ɛyɛ ɔbrɛ. Nna bi mu no wo nko abrabɔ te sɛ deɛ baabi trɛw na ɛyɛ ahofadie. Nna afoforɔ mu no ɛte sɛ mpa ho a ɛyɛ nwunu ne fon a ɛnnwoso. Mmienu nyinaa tumi yɛ nokware wɔ nnawɔtwe koro mu. Yei nyɛ nkuranhyɛ kasa a ɛka kyerɛ wo sɛ wo nko a wote hɔ no yɛ anwanwadeɛ wɔ kokoam na ɛsɛ sɛ w'ani sɔ. Ɛyɛ ahwɛ a ɛbɛn deɛ ɛrekɔ so ankasa, ne deɛ wobɛtumi de ayɛ.
Deɛ nhwehwɛmu kɔ so yɛ no mfomsoɔ fa yɛn ho, ne deɛ ɛyɛ no yie
Berɛ tenten no, nsɛm a yɛkaa fa nnipa a wɔn nko te hɔ ho no firi nhwehwɛmu a ɛde awarefoɔ totoo obiara ho na ɛfrɛɛ ɔdaeɛ no "awareɛ mfasoɔ" no. Ɔman mu nhumufoɔ Bella DePaulo de mfeɛ pii apae ɛno mu atokuro. N'adwuma a ɛfa deɛ ɔfrɛ no koma mu single ho kyerɛ nnipa a wɔyɛ frɔmfrɔm *ɛfiri sɛ* wɔn nko te hɔ, na ɛnyɛ sɛ ɛhaw wɔn. Wɔ nhwehwɛmu tenten bi a ɔkyerɛ mu no, nnipa a na wɔrenbɔ mmɔden sɛ wobeguan firi wɔn nko a wɔte hɔ no mu no nyaa anigye wɔ wɔn abrabɔ mu mfeɛ no mu. Wɔn a na wɔn ani gyina hokafoɔ no, wɔn ani ansɔ wɔn abrabɔ kɔ so.
Kenkan yei mprenu, ɛfiri sɛ nhyehyɛeɛ no ho hia. Ɛnyɛ wo nko a wote hɔ no na ɛmaa nnipa ani ansɔ wɔn ho. Ɛyɛ sɛ wɔpɛ sɛ wɔwɔ baabi a na wɔnni.
Yei ne fa a ɛfata sɛ wode tena ho. Nhwehwɛmu a wɔyɛ no yie fa mmabunu a wɔn nko te hɔ ne wɔn a wɔwɔ hokafoɔ ho daa no kyerɛ sɛ nnipa a wɔn nko te hɔ no kaa *ɔdɔ* fam ahokyere pii, ahokyere pɔtee bi a ɛfa hokafoɔ ho. Nanso wɔ abusua mu ahokyere a ɛyɛ daa, deɛ wote nka da biara sɛ wo ne nnipa abom no, nsonsonoeɛ ankasa biara nni hɔ wɔ wɔn a wɔn nko te hɔ ne wɔn a wɔwɔ abusuabɔ mu no ntam. Deɛ ɛbɔɔ ɔdɔ ahokyere no ho ban no nyɛ sɛ wonyaa hokafoɔ. Ɛyɛ mmoa a emu yɛ den a ɛfiri abusua ne nnipa a wɔho hia kɛse no hɔ.
Enti ɔhaw no anyɛ "wo nko" da. Ɛyɛ sɛ abusuabɔ pɔtee baako tumi yɛ sɛ ayera, na saa abusuabɔ baako no, wobetumi anya no, fa kakra, wɔ ɔkwan a ɛboro baako so.
Ɔdɔ wɔ wo abrabɔ mu dada
Wo nko a wote hɔ no afidie kɛse ne sɛ wobɛfa ɔdɔ hokafoɔ sɛ abusuabɔ a ɛho hia nko ara. Ɛnte saa, na nhwehwɛmu tenten a yɛwɔ a ɛfa onipa anigye ho no ka no pefee.
Harvard Study of Adult Development adi nnipa korɔ no ara akyi mfeɛ aduɔwɔtwe boro, ɛrehwɛ deɛ ɛkyerɛ deɛ ɛbɛyɛ akɔkoraabɔ a apɔwmuden ne anigye wɔ mu ankasa. Deɛ ɔhwɛsofoɔ no kɔ so ka no yɛ tee: abusuabɔ a ɛbɛn, sen sika anaa anuonyam, na ɛma nnipa anigye wɔ wɔn abrabɔ nyinaa mu. Ɛnyɛ awareɛ pɔtee. Abusuabɔ. Adamfo a onim w'abakɔsɛm nyinaa. Wo nua a wode nkra kɔ ne hɔ a wonnwene ho. Ɔyɔnko a ɔgugu wo nnua so nsuo. Nhwehwɛmu no hunuu sɛ abusuabɔ ho anigyeɛ wɔ mfeɛ aduonum mu kyerɛɛ honam apɔwmuden wɔ mfeɛ aduɔwɔtwe mu yie sen sɛnea cholesterol yɛeɛ.
Saa abusuabɔ no biara nhia ɔdɔ hokafoɔ. Ɛnyinaa wɔ hɔ ma wo seesei ara.
Yei yɛ asɛm pa, ɛfiri sɛ ɛde adwuma no kɔ baabi a wowɔ tumi ankasa. Wuntumi mfa berɛ nhyehyɛeɛ so mfrɛ onipa a ɔfata. Wubetumi afrɛ adamfo a woahyɛ da sɛ wobɛfrɛ no. Nneɛma kakra a ɛtaa boa:
- Fa wo nnamfofa sɛ ɛsoa adesoa, ɛfiri sɛ ɛyɛ saa. Fa to wo berɛ nhyehyɛeɛ so. Yɛ deɛ ɔyɛ nhyehyɛeɛ. Adamfo a ɔdi kan firi mu no, ntaa nya nnipa sua.
- Kyekye nteyɛeɛ nketewa a ɛsane ba wo ne afoforɔ ntam. Nnawɔtwe biara nantew, aduane a ɛgyina hɔ, sukuu a wokɔ so ba. Wɔde nteyɛeɛ kyekye abusuabɔ a ɛbɛn sen denneenenyɛ.
- Ma nnipa mmoa wo na bisa wɔn. Sɛ wo nko soa biribiara a, ɛnyɛ ahoɔden, ɛyɛ duru kɛkɛ. Sɛ woma obi ba ma wo a, ɛno na ɛma abusuabɔ mu yɛ den.
- Trɛw deɛ ɛyɛ ɔdɔ mu. Sɛ adamfo, abusuani, anaa kuw a wodi nkitaho berɛ tenten nim wo ankasa a, ɛno yɛ abusuabɔ a ɛbɛn ankasa, na wo nipadua nbu no ɔfa a ɛfa sɛ ɛyɛ ɔdɔ anaa.
Berɛ a wo nko wowɔ no nyɛ ɔtamfo. Ebia ɛno na ɛyɛ asɛm no.
Nsonsonoeɛ wɔ wo nko a wowɔ ne ahokyere ntam, na ɛyɛ mmerɛ sɛ wobɛfra wɔn berɛ a wo nko wote.
Ahokyere yɛ atenka, ɔkwan a ɛda abusuabɔ a wowɔ ne abusuabɔ a wopɛ ntam. Wo nko a wowɔ no, ɛyɛ sɛ wo nko ara wote hɔ. Wubetumi ate ahokyere a ɛyɛ ya wɔ dan a nnipa ahyɛ mu ma mu, na wubetumi ate wo ho yie wo nko Memeneda a osuo retɔ. Adwenemu nimdefoɔ a wɔsua yei twe nsonsonoeɛ a emu yɛ den wɔ ne mmienu ntam, na wɔahunu sɛ berɛ a wo nko a woapaw no yɛ papa ankasa. Sɛnea nhwehwɛmufoɔ a American Psychological Association de kyerɛɛ kan no, wo nko a wote berɛ tiawa dwodwo nkateɛ a emu yɛ den no, dahuhuo de ne anigye a emu yɛ den de nyinaa, na ɛma baabi ma deɛ ɛyɛ komm no, ahomegyeɛ, nnwene, atenka sɛ woyɛ wo ankasa.
Asɛmfua titire wɔ hɔ no ne *woapaw*. Wo nko a woapaw no te sɛ ahomegyeɛ. Wo nko a wɔahyɛ wo no te sɛ atubrafoɔyɛ. Nnɔnhwerew korɔ no ara, osuahunu ahodoɔ.
Ma nnipa a wɔn nko te hɔ no, yei yɛ mfasoɔ ankasa, na yɛn mu dodoɔ no ara, wɔankyerɛ yɛn da sɛ yɛmfa nni dwuma. Wubetumi de da mũ ahyehyɛ deɛ wopɛ ho. Wubetumi anya wo ankasa wo nkitahodie mu nimdeɛ pa. Nnipa a wɔn ho tɔ wɔn berɛ a wɔn nko wɔwɔ no nnye deɛ ɛsua nto mu, wɔwɔ baabi a egyina pintinn a ɛnnyina obi foforɔ berɛ nhyehyɛeɛ so.
Nteteeɛ ketewa bi
Berɛ a ɛdi hɔ a wonya anwummerɛ a wo nko wowɔ a, sɔ na nhyɛ emu simma biara mu mma. Twa su a wode tumi gu skrini so prɛko pɛ a komm no ba no gu. Noa biribi brɛoo. Kɔ nantew a wonni podcast. Hwɛ deɛ wo ankasa w'adwene yɛ berɛ a wugyae sɛ wode biribi rebɔ so ho. Emu bi bɛyɛ a ɛnyɛ wo dɛ wɔ mfiase. Saa deɛ ɛnyɛ dɛ no mpɛn pii dane biribi a ɛte sɛ asomdwoeɛ, na asomdwoeɛ no yɛ wo dea a wobɛkora.
Berɛ a ahokyere no boro tebea so
Seesei nokware kɔkɔbɔ no, ɛfiri sɛ ɛnyɛ yeinom nyinaa na nnwene foforɔ ne aduane a ɛgyina hɔ sa.
Nsonsonoeɛ wɔ anwummerɛ a ɛte sɛ deɛ ɛyɛ hunu kakra ne ahokyere a atena hɔ na ɛnkɔ no ntam. Hyɛ no nsɔ sɛ adɔbrɛ no yɛ nna pii sen nna kakra. Sɛ woatwe wo ho afiri nnipa a kane no na w'ani gye wɔn ho ho. Sɛ wonna, anaa woda berɛ biara. Sɛ aduane, nsã, anaa skrini so a worekɔ no abɛyɛ ɔkwan titire a wode fa anadwo ho. Sɛ nne bi a ɛwɔ wo tirim afiti aseɛ reka akyerɛ wo sɛ wɔrentumi nnɔ wo, anaa sɛ yei bɛtena hɔ daa, anaa sɛ obiara renhunu sɛ woayera a.
Ɛno a etwa toɔ no titiriw. Ahokyere a ɛdane anidasoɔ a ɛnni hɔ no fata sɛ wode di no aniberesɛm, na ɛno ara ne deɛ adwenemuhaw ho ɔkamfo anaa dɔkota wɔ hɔ ma. Sɛ wobɛfrɛ obi a, ɛnyɛ adansedie sɛ woadi nkogu wɔ wo nko a wote hɔ mu. Ɛyɛ adeɛ korɔ no ara a anka wobɛka akyerɛ adamfo sɛ ɔnyɛ, a wode adane wo ho.
Na sɛ ɛda bi wote nka sɛ ebia wo ne wo ankasa wo ho nyɛ asomdwoeɛ a, mesrɛ wo, nko ara nntena saa atenka no ho. Ne obi nkasa ɛnnɛ. Ahokyere telefon, dɔkota, obi a ɔdɔ wo. Nsɛm a ɛwɔ saa krataa yi ase ne n'afaafa no wɔ hɔ wɔ saa asɛm yi ara nti, dɔnhwerew biara, a wonhyɛ da.
Wo nko a wote hɔ nyɛ ɔhaw a ɛsɛ sɛ wɔsa ansa na wo abrabɔ ankasa atumi afiti aseɛ. Wo abrabɔ ankasa ne deɛ wowɔ mu no. Adwuma no nyɛ sɛ wobɛhwehwɛ obi a ɔbɛwie no. Ɛyɛ sɛ wode nnipa, nteyɛeɛ, ne deɛ ɛyɛ komm a ɛyɛ wo dea dada no bɛhyɛ mu ma.
Nsɛm a ɛfiri
- Harvard Gazette, Good genes are nice, but joy is better
- American Psychological Association, Speaking of Psychology: The benefits of solitude
- Bella DePaulo, Single at Heart
- Current Psychology / PMC, An Investigation of Loneliness and Perceived Social Support Among Single and Partnered Young Adults