Abɛnkabɛn wɔ Ayeforohyia Bere No Akyi

Bere bi wɔ hɔ, wɔ afe baako anaa mmienu a edi kan no akyi, a awarefoɔ baanu hu sɛ nnwom no asesa. Nkra a wɔde kɔ no yɛ tiawa. Wugyae sɛ wobɛkyerɛkyerɛ wo da no mu kyerɛ wo ho wo ho pɛpɛɛpɛ. Wobetumi atena dan korɔ no ara mu akenkan nneɛma mmienu soronko na woafrɛ no anadwo pa. Ebinom te saa nka sɛ ahomeka. Afoforo te dadwene ketewa, kokoam: eyi nko ara anaa? Yɛhweree biribi anaa?

Wonhweree hwee. Wode wo ho kɔɔ baabi foforo.

Abusuabɔ mfiase bere no wɔ din ne nkabom. Ayeforohyia bere no ne berɛ a wʼamoa, sɛnea Cleveland Clinic ka no, "ahyɛ dopamine ma," a ɛyɛ akatua ne akɔnnɔ aduru. Saa nsuyiri no na ɛma ɔhokafoɔ foforo te kakra te sɛ duru. Wʼadwene kɔ ne nko ara so. Ne mfomso yera. Ɛbɛtumi atena adapɛn, abosome, anaa mpɛn bi afe mmienu, nanso wɔanyɛ no sɛ ɛbɛtena daa, na sɛ ɛyɛɛ saa a anka ɛbɛbrɛ wo.

Deɛ edi hɔ no nya din bɔne a ɛmfata no.

Deɛ ɛresa ankasa, ne deɛ ɛnsa

Nhwehwɛmufoɔ taa kyekyɛ ɔdɔ mu abien. Ɔdɔ a ɛyɛ den wɔ hɔ, deɛ ɛyɛ ntɛm, a edi w'adwene so, a wuntumi nnyae sɛ wodwen wo ho no. Na ɔdɔ a abusuabɔ wɔ mu nso wɔ hɔ, deɛ ɔdɔ, gyidie, ne abusuabɔ a emu dɔ wɔ mu a ɛkɔ so bere a asetena mmienu di mu di mu.

Nhwehwɛmu nokwasɛm ne sɛ ɔdɔ a ɛyɛ den no dwo. Ɔdwenemu nimdefoɔ Elaine Hatfield, a ɔde n'asetena suaa eyi, kaa no pefee: ɔdɔ a ɛyɛ den "ma anigyeɛ, te sɛ nnubɔne, na wuntumi ntena anigyeɛ no mu daa." Nhwehwɛmu a ɛkɔ akyiri mfe pii hunu sɛ ahoɔden no tew, na mpɛn pii no efi ase bere tiawa bi a wɔahyɛ bɔ no akyi.

Deɛ ɔdɔ a ɛyɛ den a ɛredwo no nkyerɛ ne sɛ abɛnkabɛn awie. Dopamine no san, nhwiren ahosu no yera, na wofi ase hu onipa ankasa a wo ne no wɔ hɔ. Ɛno te sɛ ahweree. Wɔ adeyɛ mu no ɛyɛ ɔpono a wode kɔ abɛnkabɛn a wuntumi nnya no mfa ɔhɔho a wʼani agye ne ho dodo: sɛ wohu wo, mfomso ka ho, na wɔtena hɔ.

Enti asɛm a ɛho hia no nyɛ "sɛnea yɛbɛsan anya ogyatuo no," sɛnea botae no ne sɛ wɔbɛsan abusuabɔ no asi bosome mmienu no so. Ɛyɛ sɛnea wohwɛ ade a emu dɔ a ɛrenyini seesei no so, ne sɛnea wode ɔhyeɛ ne agorɔ kakra tena mu.

Mmerɛ nketenkete no ho hia sen mmerɛ akɛseɛ no

Sɛ woasusu da bi sɛ awarefoɔ a wɔn ho yɛ den ne wɔn a wɔwɔ adaagye anwummerɛ a ɛyɛ fɛ anaa wɔntwa wɔn ho ntɔkwa a, nhwehwɛmu ka soronko. Ade a ɛkyerɛ komm sɛ abusuabɔ bɛyɛ yie no sua sen ɛno.

John Gottman, a ɔtwa awarefoɔ mfonini wɔ nhwehwɛmu dan mu na ɔdii wɔn akyi mfe pii, de n'adwuma sii deɛ ɔfrɛ no bid: mmɔdenbɔ ketewa biara a wode pɛ sɛ wobɛn obi. "Hwɛ saa anomaa no." "Adɛn, da no yɛɛ den." Nsa a ɛda wo banmu so bere a woreyɛ aduane. Bid biara yɛ nsa to ketewa, na wobetumi adane wo ho akɔ ho (aniwa hwɛ, asɛmfua, mmuaeɛ ankasa), wode wo ho atwe afi ho (kasakasa, telefon no), anaa wode wo ho atia (woakasa denneennen).

Ɔfa a ɛsɛ sɛ wode wo ho to so ni. Wɔ Gottman nhwehwɛmu mu no, awarefoɔ a na wɔda so wɔ anigyeɛ mu mfe pii akyiri no danee wɔn ho kɔɔ wɔn ho wɔn ho bid so bɛyɛ ɔha mu aduɔkron asia (86%) bere. Awarefoɔ a wɔagyae anaa wɔayɛ mmɔbɔ no danee wɔn ho kɔɔ so bɛyɛ nkyekyɛmu mmiɛnsa mu baako pɛ. Nsonsonoeɛ a ɛda awareɛ a ɛtena ne deɛ ɛntena ntam no daa adi ɛnyɛ ntɔkwa akɛseɛ no mu na mmom ɛ mmere apem a ɛyɛ sɛkan mmienu a obiara ansusu sɛ ɛho hia.

Ɛyɛ asɛmpa ankasa. Ɛkyerɛ sɛ abɛnkabɛn wɔ ayeforohyia bere no akyi no, wɔnsan nsi no wɔ nneyɛɛ akɛseɛ so. Wɔsan si no wɔ Benada da bi adwumayɛ a ɛyɛ adekyeɛ mu.

Sɛnea wodane wo ho kɔ ho mpɛn pii

• Bere a wo hokafoɔ ka biribi ketewa a, gyae deɛ woreyɛ no simma mmiɛnsa na bua no ankasa. Fa telefon no to fam a n'anim wɔ fam. Saa berɛ kakra no ne nimdeɛ no nyinaa.
• Hu wo ankasa bid ahodoɔ nso. "Wobɛba abɛhwɛ eyi anaa" yɛ wo a woretene wo nsa. Sɛ wɔtene wɔn nsa san a, ma ɛnka.
• Siesie ntɛm bere a woapa. Wobɛdane wo ho afi ho bere bi. "Kafra, ka bio, na na medwene me ho" yi ɔsɛeɛ no dodoɔ no ara fi hɔ.
• Kora deɛ wo hokafoɔ rehyia dapɛn yi mu wɔ kokoam. Sɛ wobisa ho akyiri yi a, ɛyɛ nneɛma a abɛnkabɛn wɔ mu paa a wobetumi ayɛ no mu baako.

Deɛ enti sɛ moyɛ nneɛma foforo abom a ɛsane kɔ abɛnkabɛn no

Nhwehwɛmu foforo a ɛyɛ nokorɛ no fa nneɛma foforoyɛ ho, na ɛyɛ honam fam adeɛ a ɛyɛ nwonwa.

Bere a abusuabɔ bi tena su a ɛtaa ba mu a, osuahu no ankasa yɛ tratraa. Wugyae sɛ wobɛsua nneɛma foforo fa mo ho mo ho efisɛ moagyae nneɛma foforo yɛ koraa. Ɔdwenemu nimdefoɔ Arthur Aron nhwehwɛmu kyerɛ ano aduru a ɛyɛ mmerɛw a ɛyɛ nwonwa: monyɛ nneɛma foforo a ɛyɛ anigyeɛ kakra abom. Awarefoɔ a wɔbom yɛ nneɛma foforo a ɛkanyan no ka sɛ wɔte nka sɛ wɔbɛn wɔn ho na wɔn ani gye sen awarefoɔ a wɔyɛ nneɛma a ɛyɛ fɛ a wɔahu dada no. Nhwehwɛmu a edi hɔ a ɛfa adaagye anwummerɛ ho hunuu asɛm korɔ no ara, sɛ sɛ wɔhyehyɛ berɛ a anigyeɛ wɔ mu ankasa abom a, ɛma nkɔso te nka, na nkɔso no ma abɛnkabɛn.

Adeyɛ no nyɛ ɔdɔ ankasa nti. Ɛyɛ sɛ foforoyɛ kanyan wo. Adrenaline kakra, beae a wonhu no, ade a mo nyinaa nyɛ no yiye, na wofi ase de w'ani to wo hokafoɔ so sɛnea woyɛɛ no bere a na biribiara fa ne ho yɛ foforo no.

Eyi nhia sika anaa krataa a wode tu kwan. Akwantuo kwan foforo. Aduane a mo mu biara nnoaa da. Adesua, akwantuo ketewa, agorɔ, dwumadie. Asɛm no ne sɛ mo nyinaa yɛ mmofra wɔ biribi ho abom, sɛ ɛyɛ bere tiawa mpo a.

Abɛnkabɛn boro nna ho, na nna hia biribi a ɛboro sɛ wɔreyɛ no kɛkɛ

Abɛnkabɛn te adan ahodoɔ kakra mu. Atenka mu abɛnkabɛn wɔ hɔ, sɛ wubetumi aka nokwasɛm a ɛnyɛ fɛ na woagye di sɛ wɔbɛkura wo ara. Honam fam deɛ nso wɔ hɔ, a nna ka ho nanso saa ara na sotɔmɔ a ɛmfa nna ho nyinaa nso ka ho: nsa a ɛda akyi, atuu a ɛkyɛ, sɛ wotena wo ho abɛn.

Ayeforohyia bere no akyi no, sotɔmɔ kɛkɛ no taa yɛ ade a edi kan a ɛyera komm, na ɛfata sɛ wɔbɔ ho ban no nko ara. Sɛ nna deɛ, awarefoɔ a wɔakyɛ pii hunu sɛ akɔnnɔ gyae sɛ ɛbɛba ne ho na ɛsɛ sɛ wɔyɛ kwan ketewa ma no. Sɛ wopaw no botae mu a, ɛnyɛ ɔdɔ ho atia. Nnipa pii deɛ, sɛ wopɛ sɛ wohyehyɛ na wode abɛnkabɛn di kan a, ɛno ankasa na ɛma ankokɔ.

Sɛ wobɛka eyinom mu biara ho asɛm a, ɛbɛtumi ayɛ aniwu. Yɛ no nanso, brɛoo, mfa mpata dan no akyi na mfa ntɔkwa no akyi. "Mefe sɛ mɛbɛn wo" yɛ bid nso.

Bere a kwan no yɛ biribi a ɛboro saa

Mfiase mu anigyeɛ no dwo yɛ ade a ɛtaa ba. Ankonam a ɛtena hɔ daa wɔ abusuabɔ mu yɛ ade soronko, na ɛfata sɛ wode no di asɛm.

Sɛ wote nka sɛ wonhu wo daa, sɛ nkɔmmɔ adane animtiabu anaa kommɔtena, sɛ mo mu baako anaa mo baanu nyinaa afi mu a, eyinom yɛ su a ɔdɔ ho ɔsadwurani pa di ho dwuma da biara, na ntɛm yɛ papa sen akyiri. Ɔsadwurani a wɔama no tumi anaa ɔfotufoɔ a wofa wo dɔkota anaa adwuma te sɛ AAMFT directory so betumi aboa. Na sɛ biribi a ɛyɛ hu wɔ abusuabɔ no mu a, sɛ wote nka sɛ wɔredi wo so, sɛ wusuro, anaa ahobammɔ nni hɔ a, ɛno nyɛ abɛnkabɛn ɔhaw a mo baanu bɛsiesie abom, na ɛfata sɛ wonya mmoa ankasa fa nkɔ ɔbaa ne abusua basabasayɛ ho ahomatrofɔ anaa ɔbenimdefoɔ a wode wo ho to no so so.

Asɛm yi su a ɛtaa ba no, deɛ, wɔ anidasoɔ mu. Anwawa no nyɛ abusuabɔ no da. Ɛyɛ amanneɛbɔ kɛkɛ. Deɛ ɛnyini bere a ɛsa no akyi, brɛoo, wɔ aniso ne ayamyɛ nketenkete ne akwantuɔ a ɛba ɛtɔ da bi mu no, ɛno ne ɔfa a wonya kora.

Nsɛm a Wɔyii Firii Mu

• Cleveland Clinic, What Is the Honeymoon Phase and How Long Does It Last?
• American Psychological Association, The Love Drug: The eternal question: does love last?
• The Gottman Institute, Want to Improve Your Relationship? Start Paying More Attention to Bids
• National Center for Biotechnology Information, Planning date nights that promote closeness: The roles of relationship goals and self-expansion