Afotusɛm ntiantia
- Talk about it clothed, not in bed.
- Let a hug just be a hug.
- Drop the scoreboard, stop counting days.
Fa Benada anadwo bi. Mo mu baako te ne nsa kɔ mpa no so, n'ani da so. Ɔfoforo no ada fa ho dedaw, anaa ɔdwene ɔkyena ho, anaa ɔnte nka kɛkɛ. Daabi ketewa bi. Afei kommyɛ a wɔde wɔn ani gye ɔdan atifi wɔ afanu no nyinaa, baabi a onipa baako te nka sɛ wɔapo no na ɔfoforo te nka sɛ wɔrehyɛ no, na wɔn mu biara nka ho hwee.
Saa bere no, sɛ ɛsan ba asram pii so a, ɛno na awarefo dodow no ara kyerɛ bere a wɔka sɛ wɔn akɔnnɔ nyɛ pɛ. Oduruyɛ din a wɔde frɛ no ne desire discrepancy, na sɛ ɛreba wo so a, ade a edi kan a eye sɛ wuhu ne sɛ wo ne nnipa pii wɔ kuw koro mu. Ɛyɛ nea enti awarefo hwehwɛ mmoa a ɛtaa ba no mu baako, na nsonsonoe a ɛda nea wɔpɛ mu no bɛn mmara no sen sɛɛnea ɛnyɛ daa. Nnipa baanu kame ntumi mpɛ ade koro wɔ emu hyew koro mu wɔ bere koro mu, afebɔɔ. Saa kwan no ankasa nyɛ ɔhaw no. Nea woyɛ no na ɛyɛ.
Ebia wɔbɔɔ wo sɛ wopɛ ade wɔ kwan soronko so
Yaw a ɛwɔ eyi ho no fa pii fi gyidi a ahintaw bi: sɛ akɔnnɔ yɛ adwuma kwan koro no ara ma obiara, enti sɛ wo hokafo nhyɛ ase a, ɛsɛ sɛ ɔmpɛ wo.
Saa gyidi no taa nyɛ nokware, na nna ho ahwehwɛfo wɔ mfonini a emu da hɔ. Akwan abien bɛyɛ na akɔnnɔ da adi fa so. Nnipa bi te spontaneous desire nka, gyatumtum a efi baabi a wonnim na ɛba ansa na biribiara aba mpo. Afoforo te responsive desire nka, a ɛba bere a abɔdom ne anigye afi ase dedaw, ɛnyɛ ansa. Onipa a ɔwɔ responsive desire no taa nte nka sɛ "n'ani gye" bere a ɔrehyɛn dan no mu. Wodu hɔ denam nkateho, ɔhyew, ne ahobammɔ nka so, na afei akɔnnɔ no ba.
Eyinom nyɛ nea eye anaa nea enye. Ɛyɛ apon soronko a ɛkɔ dan koro no ara mu. Na ɛtaa kyekye kwan a wonim. Nhwehwɛmu hu sɛ spontaneous desire taa wɔ mmarima mu pii, bere a responsive desire taa wɔ mmea mu pii, ɛwom mpo sɛ nnipa pii yɛ soronko. Enti nsonsonoe baako a ɛyɛ daa paa ne spontaneous-desire hokafo a ɔkɔ so twɛn sɛ ne responsive-desire hokafo no bɛte gyatumtum no nka kan. Wɔn baanu nyinaa retwɛn. Obiara nyɛ mfomso. Wɔwɔ mfiase soronko kɛkɛ, na obiara nkyerɛɛ saa mu da.
Sɛ eyi yɛ ade foforo ma wo a, tena ase fa ho dwene kakra. "Me hokafo mpɛ me" pii no yɛ "me hokafo pɛ me wɔ kwan foforo so a ɛnyɛ nea na mehwɛ kwan."
Nea ɛma kwan no trɛw
Akɔnnɔ nyɛ ade a ahyehyɛ gyina hɔ. Ɛne wo nkwa nyinaa nam, na bere a akɔnnɔ ba fam no taa fa biribi ho, ɛnyɛ hwee.
Nea ɛde ba no boaboa ano komm:
- Ɔbrɛ, ahokyere, ne adwuma ne mma adwene mu adesoa. Akɔnnɔ hia ahoɔden a aka kakra, na nnipa pii nni bi koraa anwummere nnɔnpa du.
- Akwahosan ne hormone. Nyinsɛn, ɔbea bra a etwa to, thyroid haw, ɔpɛ a enni hɔ, ne yaw a ɛkɔ so nyinaa sakra akɔnnɔ. Saa ara na nnuru a ɛtaa ba yɛ, a antidepressant ne mogyabɔ nnuru pii ka ho. Cleveland Clinic kyerɛ eyinom sɛ nneɛma a ɛtaa ba a wotumi sa, a wofi nna akɔnnɔ a esua a ɛnyɛ suban mu sintɔ.
- Abɔdom no ankasa. Akyirikyiri, abufuw a wonsiesie, anaa adagyew bere a mo nnya da bɛsɛe akɔnnɔ ntɛm sen biribiara kame.
- Nhyehyɛe a nsonsonoe no de ba. Eyi yɛ ade a ahintaw. Hokafo a ɔwɔ akɔnnɔ pii no, sɛ wɔpo no ma ɔbrɛ a, ofi ase hyɛ ase pii anaa ɔde adwene a emu yɛ duru. Hokafo a ɔwɔ akɔnnɔ kakra no, sɛ ɔte saa nhyɛ no nka a, ɔtwe ne ho kɔ akyiri kɛse. Anammɔn biara ma ɔfoforo no de yɛ bɔne. Ɛnkyɛ na nkateho biara nya asɛmmisa bi, na wokwati abɔdomu nkateho a enni nna mu mpo efisɛ wobetumi akenkan no sɛ adesrɛ.
Saa nhyehyɛe a etwa to no eye sɛ wɔbɔ din pefee, efisɛ sɛ ɛrekɔ so a, ebetumi ayɛ sɛnea awarefo no wɔ akɔnnɔ haw bere a nea wɔwɔ ankasa yɛ ahohyɛsoɔ-ne-kwatii haw a ɛda nsonsonoe a ɛyɛ daa so.
Nea ɛboa ankasa
Bere a ahwehwɛfo Laura Vowels ne Kristen Mark suaa sɛnea awarefo gyina akɔnnɔ nsonsonoe ano no, wohuu biribi a ɛma ade da adi. Kwan a anyɛ adwuma koraa ne sɛ wonyɛ hwee, wɔtwɛn na wɔn ani da so sɛ ɛbɛtwam. Akwan a ɛboaa kɛse ne nea awarefo no yɛɛ bom: wɔkaa ho asɛm pefee, na wɔtrɛw nea ɛyɛ nkitahobɔ mu sen sɛ wɔbɛfa nna mu nko ara sɛ ade a etwa to. Adesua no da hɔ. Kwatii ne kwan baako a ɛsɛe ade daa.
Enti adwuma no fa pii yɛ sɛ wode kommyɛ a ɛda mo ntam no dan biribi a mode gyina ano sɛ kuw.
Ka ho asɛm bere a monni mpa so. Bere a enye koraa sɛ wobɛka eyi ho asɛm ne bere a emu yɛ den a ɛyɛ aane-anaa-daabi no. Ka wɔ akwantu mu, kar mu, baabi a emu nyɛ duru na mo ho ntoma da mo ho. Fi nea wote nka na wopɛ so, ɛnyɛ anwiinwii a ɛfa wo hokafo ho. "Mafe abɔdom a mabɛn wo" si soronko koraa sen "wompɛ me bio da."
Tetew abɔdomu fi nna ho. Sɛ atuu biara anaa nsa a wɔde to akyi adan "enti, yɛbɛyɛ anaa?" a, hokafo a ɔwɔ akɔnnɔ kakra no sua sɛ obeguan ne nyinaa. Mompene so, pefee, sɛ nkateho betumi ayɛ nkateho kɛkɛ. Ɛno nko ara betumi ayi ahohyɛsoɔ kɛse afi dan no mu na, mpɛn pii no, ama akɔnnɔ ankasa ho ayɛ mmerɛw sɛ wobehu bio.
Yɛ kwan ma responsive desire. Sɛ mo mu baako ho yɛ hyew bere a nneɛma afi ase dedaw ɛnyɛ ansa a, ɛnde sɛ wobɛtwɛn sɛ wobɛte nka no betumi akyerɛ sɛ wobɛtwɛn afebɔɔ. Sɛ wobue wo ho ma abɔdom, a ahohyɛsoɔ biara nni hɔ sɛ wubedu pɛnkoro a, ɛma responsive pon no bue. Apam a ɛho hia: wɔama mfiase kwan sɛ ɛrenkɔ baabiara. Anigye ne nkitahobɔ na ɛyɛ botae no, ɛnyɛ akontaabu.
Trɛw nkitahobɔ nkyerɛase mu. Nna nyɛ adeyɛ baako. Sɛ moremaa mo ho, mode mo bere, nhwɛ a enni hwee yɛ pɛ baabi a morekɔ, ne nyinaa yɛ abɔdom. Awarefo a wogyae sɛ wɔde mpɛn dodow susu na wofi ase de wɔn adwene si nkitahobɔ no su so no taa te nka sɛ wɔn ho yɛ wɔn dɛ ntɛm.
Gyae nkontaabu. "Yɛayɛ nnankron" yɛ adwene a ɛmmoa obiara. Akontaabu dan wo hokafo ɔtamfo. Botae no nyɛ sɛ wubedi nsonsonoe no so anaa wobɛyɛ no pɛpɛɛpɛ. Ɛyɛ sɛ mobɛkɔ so apɛ mo ho mo ho yiyedi bere a morehwehwɛ ahyehyɛ a mo baanu betumi atena ase.
Eyinom mu biara nyɛ fa sɛ onipa a ɔwɔ akɔnnɔ kakra no hyɛ ne ho, anaa nea ɔwɔ akɔnnɔ pii no men ahiade biara. Eyinom abien no nyinaa ma abufuw nya nnyin. Ɛyɛ fa sɛ wofi nhyehyɛe a ɛyɛ komm no mu na wobu nsonsonoe no sɛ aborɔdwom a mode boa sen atemmu a ɛfa abɔdom no ho.
Bere a wobɛhwehwɛ mmoa
Eyi bi no, motumi de aboterɛ ne nokwaredi siesie no fie. Bi no, montumi, na sɛ mode mo nsa kɔ mmoa frɛ a, ɛyɛ adwene pa, ɛnyɛ nea etwa to a wode yɛ.
Sɛ akɔnnɔ no tew so prɛko anaa ɛbaa ne nsakrae afoforo a ɛwɔ wo nipadua, wʼabofra, anaa wʼahoɔden mu a, fi aduruyɛfo so. Akɔnnɔ a esua ho nsɛm pii bɛyɛ na wobehu sɛ nipadua anaa nnuru ho ade bi na efi, a wotumi sa no yiye bere a wɔahu. Cleveland Clinic afotusɛm a emu da hɔ ne sɛ wonhu akwahosan ho hwɛfo bere a akɔnnɔ a esua resɛe wo yiyedi anaa wo abɔdomu.
Sɛ nkɔmmɔbɔ no kɔ so twe kɔ nkyɛn, anaa ahohyɛsoɔ-ne-kwatii nhyehyɛe no adan abufuw a apirim a, awarefo ɔsɛnkafo a wasua nna ho oduruyɛ betumi aboa sen biribiara a wobɛkenkan. Eyi ne wɔn adwuma. Wobetumi ama mo baanu kasa ama nneɛma a ɛyɛ den sɛ wobɛka wɔ aduandidi pon no so, ne dan a emu da hɔ a wobɛka mu. Sɛ wopɛ saa mmoa no nkyerɛ sɛ mo abɔdom redi nkogu. Awarefo a wodwen wɔn ho wɔn ho na wɔpɛ sɛ wɔbɛn wɔn ho no ne wɔn a wɔkɔ ankasa.
Na sɛ akɔnnɔ mu nsonsonoe no kyekye biribi a emu yɛ duru ho, ɔhyɛ, ehu, anaa nkate sɛ wo ne wo hokafo nni ahobammɔ wɔ nna ho a, ɛno nyɛ nsonsonoe a wode di nkitaho bio. Ɛno fata mmoa ankasa a efi obi a wasua sɛ ɔboa, na wo ahobammɔ na edi kan.
Awarefo a wɔfa mu no nyɛ wɔn a ɛba sɛ wɔpɛ nna dodow pɛpɛɛpɛ. Wɔyɛ wɔn a wogyaee sɛ wɔma nsonsonoe no tena kommyɛ mu na wofii ase ne wɔn ho wɔn ho kasa sɛ adwumayɛfo bio. Ebia kwan no rentua koraa da. Akyirikyiri a ɛda mo ntam no nhia sɛ ɛnyin wɔ mu.
Mfinimfini
- National Center for Biotechnology Information, Strategies for Mitigating Sexual Desire Discrepancy in Relationships (Vowels & Mark)
- Medical News Today, Mismatched sex drives: Relationships and coping
- Cleveland Clinic, Low Libido (Low Sex Drive) Causes & Treatment
- The Gottman Institute, The Perpetual Problem of Mismatched Sex Drives