Afotusɛm ntiantia
- Talk side by side, not face to face.
- Say I just need to be heard.
- Can't tell a person? Write it out first.
Obi bisa wo sɛnea wo ho te. Woka "Me ho ye," anaa "Me ho ayɛ adwuma," anaa "Mintumi nka," na mo baanu nyinaa toa so kɔ. Bere koro no ara wim tebea nyinaa rekɔ so wɔ ase hɔ, na obiara nnim ho ka wo nko.
Yɛn mu dodow no ara nim saa atorotwa ketewa no yiye. Ɛyɛ obu, ɛyɛ ntɛm, na ɛma bere no anyɛ duru. Ɔhaw ne sɛ dodow a wonya nimdeɛ wɔ sɛnea wote nka a wode sie no mu no, dodow no na wo ho yɛ ankonam, mpo wɔ ɔdan a nnipa a anka wɔbɛboa wo sɛ wonim ahyɛ mu ma mu. Sɛ wobɛka nokware mmuae akyerɛ obi no betumi ate sɛ woreda wo ho adi, anaa adesoa a wode rema obi. Ɛsɛ sɛ woyɛ saa ara. Ɛnyɛ sɛ akyɛde yi yɛ ɔbra pa bi nti, na mmom efisɛ sɛ woka ade no denneennen a, ɛsesa ade no ankasa.
Sɛ wobɔ no din a ɛtew nne no so
Amoa ho nyansahu kakra bi a ɛyɛ komm hyɛ eyi ase, na ɛyɛ mfaso sen sɛnea ɛte.
Wɔ UCLA no, adwene ho nimdefo Matthew Lieberman yɛɛ nhwehwɛmu bi a nnipa hwɛɛ anim a ɛrekyerɛ nkate a emu yɛ den bere a mfiri rehwɛ wɔn amoa. Bere a wohuu anim a abufuw anaa ehu wɔ so kɛkɛ no, amygdala no soree. Ɛno ne amoa kɔkɔbɔ, ɔfa a ɛbɔ ansa na woanya kwan asusuw. Nanso bere a nnipa de asɛmfua too nkate no so, bere a wɔbɔɔ no din sɛ "abufuw" anaa "ehu" no, amygdala no yɛɛ komm, na ɔfa a ɛyɛ adwene a wɔde adwen yɛ no bae. Lieberman kaa ho asɛm sɛ ɛte sɛ nea woka wʼakomayɛ mmuae no breke.
Nhwehwɛmufo frɛ eyi affect labeling. Wubetumi afrɛ no nea wo nana taa frɛ no: yi fi wo koko mu. Asɛm no yɛ pɛ. Nkate a wuntumi mmɔ no din no taa di wo so fi akyiri. Nkate a wubetumi abɔ no din no bɛyɛ ade a wubetumi ahwɛ, na ade a wubetumi ahwɛ no yɛ ade a wubetumi afi ase asiesie.
Eyi yɛ ade a enti a sɛ womemene nneɛma a, ɛsɛe ade. Cleveland Clinic ka no pefee: nkate nyɛ pa anaa bɔne, ɛwɔ hɔ ara, na ɔhaw no fi nea yɛde yɛ, ɛnyɛ sɛ yɛwɔ bi. Sɛ wopia nkate kɔ ase no mma ɛnyera. Ɛma ɛkɔ baabi a wuntumi nhu, baabi a ɛtaa sɔn fi nkyɛn mu sɛ bo a ɛfuw ntɛm, anadwo nna a enye, yafunu a akyekyere.
Nea ɛma yɛyɛ komm
Sɛ wo ho a wubebue ho mfaso wɔ saa a, dɛn nti na ɛyɛ den saa? Mpɛn pii no, ɛyɛ ehu pɔtee bi, na biara so tew bere a wohwɛ no tee.
"Mɛyɛ adesoa." Eyi ne kɛse no. Wususuw sɛ wo haw bɛhwe obi so sɛ adesoa a ɛsɛ sɛ ɔsoa. Nanso dwen bere a etwa to a adamfo bi de biribi ankasa hyɛɛ wo nsa no ho. Ebia woante nka sɛ ɛyɛ adesoa. Wotee nka sɛ wo ne no abɛn, na ɛyɛɛ wo anuonyam kakra sɛ wɔpaw wo. Nnipa dodow no ara te saa ara nka bere a wɔn dea wɔ adu sɛ wɔbɛpaw wɔn no. Sɛ wɔgye wo ma woakɔ mu no nte sɛ wɔde adesoa ahyɛ wo so.
"Wobebu m'animtiaa." Adwene a ɛhaw ne sɛ sɛ wopae mu ka sɛ woreko a, ɛma woyɛ mmerɛw. Wɔ adeyɛ mu no, ɛtaa yɛ nea ɛne no bɔ abira. Sɛ wobɛka asɛm a emu yɛ den denneennen no hia akokoduru, na nnipa hu. Nea ɛkenkan sɛ mmerɛwyɛ ne nkataso no, "Me ho ye" a ɛyɛ mmerɛw a obiara hu mu no.
"Mɛhwe ase sɛ mifi ase." Nnipa bi yɛ komm efisɛ wosuro sɛ asɛm nokware a edi kan no bebue nsutaree. Bere bi ɛyɛ saa. Sɛ wusu, anaa woka asɛm no awie no, ɛnyɛ sɛ ntwahankoa no retutu. Ɛyɛ nhyɛso a aboaboa ano renya baabi a ɛbɛkɔ. Worennan. Mpɛn pii wobɛte nka sɛ wo ho yɛ hare wɔ ɔfa baako no.
"Ɛnyɛ bɔne sɛ mɛbɔ ho din." Ɛnsɛ sɛ wowɔ ahohia mu ansa na wofata nkɔmmɔdi. Sɛ wotwɛn kosi sɛ nneɛma bɛyɛ a wuntumi nnyina ano no kyerɛ sɛ wuhu amane kyɛ sen sɛnea anka ɛsɛ. "Ɛyɛ bɔne sɛ" nyɛ hye a ɛsɛ sɛ wutra.
Wunhia nsɛmfua a ɛyɛ pɛ
Eyi ne ade a esiw nnipa pii kwan: wɔtwɛn kosi sɛ wobetumi akyerɛ mu yiye. Wɔpɛ mmuae a ɛyɛ ahihia, ntease, mfiase-mfimfini-awiei. Enti wɔnka hwee, efisɛ nkate no yɛ basabasa na basabasa ntumi nyɛ ahihia.
Wonni obiara amanneɛ a ɛtɔ ho ka. "Me ho ayɛ me hu na minnim ne mu yiye" yɛ asɛm a edi mu na ɛyɛ nokware. Saa ara na "Biribi ayɛ duru nnansa yi." Wonretɔn ade. Woreboa onipa biako akɔ mu.
Sɛ asɛmfua biako mpo yɛ den sɛ wubehu a, fi hɔ. Ɛyaw. Ɔbrɛ. Ehu. Komm. Abufuwhyew. Cleveland Clinic afotu yɛ tea koraa: gye nkate no tom a wummu ho atɛn, na afei kyerɛkyerɛ mu, sɛ ɛyɛ asɛmfua a ɛyɛ tea sen biara a wowɔ mpo. Nkyerɛkyerɛ mu no na ɛboa. Nea ɛyɛ pɛpɛɛpɛ no betumi aba akyiri, anaa ɛrenba da.
Baabi a wobefi ase ankasa
Baabi a hwee nni hɔ a edi nkɔmmɔ a emu yɛ den anim no yɛ ɔhaw ankasa. Nneɛma kakra ma ɛyɛ mmerɛw sɛ wobɛtu mu.
Paw onipa no ansa na woaka kasa no
Ɛnsɛ sɛ woka kyerɛ obiara, na ɛnsɛ sɛ woka kyerɛ onipa a odi kan a ɔwɔ hɔ. Dwen onipa a wode wo ho to no so ho. NHS kyerɛ sɛ kyerɛw din kakraa bi to hɔ ankasa, adamfo, abusuani, adwumayɛfo a wo ne no bɛn. Bere bi onipa a ɔyɛ mmerɛw sen biara no yɛ obi a ɔwɔ wo nkurɔfo a wɔbɛn wo akyi kakra, efisɛ abakɔsɛm sua na ade kakra na wode bɛhwere. Otiefo pa biako dɔɔso. Wonreboaboa badwafo ano.
Tew baabi a wobɛka no mu nsɛm so
Nnipa pii gyina dinn bere a wɔte hɔ animu animu a hwee nni hɔ a wɔbɛyɛ sɛ wɔbɛkasa. Enti nyɛ saa. Sɛ wode wʼabati bobɔ obi de kasa a, ɛtaa yɛ mmerɛw sen sɛ moahwɛhwɛ mo ho anim, wɔ ɔnantew so, kar mu, bere a moreyɛ nkuku adwuma. Afã ne afã so tew nhyɛso no so. Telefon frɛ nso yɛ adwuma, sɛ sɛ mo baanu wɔ ɔdan koro mu yɛ den dodo a.
Fa mfitiase asɛm a ɛyɛ tea di dwuma
NHS de nhwɛso a ɛyɛ tea a ɛyɛ adwuma no nyinaa ma: "Mete ahokyere (anaa adwennwen, anaa hu) nka na mehia obi a me ne no bɛkasa kɛkɛ." Ɛno ne no. Ɛbɔ nkate no din, ɛka nea wopɛ, na ɛka kyerɛ onipa foforo no sɛ enhia sɛ ɔbɛsiesie biribiara. Mfiase nsɛm afoforo bi a ɛyɛ adwuma:
- "Metumi me ne wo aka biribi ho asɛm? Merenhwehwɛ afotu, mepɛ sɛ meka denneennen kɛkɛ."
- "Me ho nyɛ me yiye na na mempɛ sɛ mekɔ so yɛ atoro."
- "Eyi yɛ den ma me sɛ mɛbɔ ho, enti nya me ho aboterɛ."
Bɔ nea wohia din bere a woreyɛ saa no. Nnipa pɛ sɛ wɔboa na mpɛn pii wɔsusuw no bɔne, wɔde wɔn ho to ano aduru so bere a anka wopɛ ahokafo, anaa wɔyɛ komm bere a anka wopɛ sɛ wobisa. Sɛ woka kyerɛ wɔn sɛ "Mepɛ sɛ wutie me kɛkɛ" a, ɛgye mo baanu nyinaa fi mfomso no mu.
Fi "Mete nka" so di kan, ɛnyɛ "wo"
Bere a nkate no ne onipa foforo ahyehyɛ mu a, nsɛmfua a wopɛ no ho hia. "Wuntie me da" de onipa foforo no to ne ho akyi, na seesei woreko ntawntaw sen sɛ wɔbɛte wo. "Mete sɛ obiara nhu me nnansa yi" ka yaw koro no ara a wonni mu sobo, na ɛyɛ den sɛ wo ne onipa bɛko atia sɛnea ɔte nka. Mtebea no yɛ tea: bɔ nkate no din, na afei tebea a ɛkaa no no. "Mete adwennwen nka bere a nhyehyɛe sesa mpofirim." Woreka wo ankasa wʼosuahu, a ɛno yɛ ade biako pɛ a obiara ntumi nka nkyerɛ wo sɛ woadi mfomso.
Bere a nsɛm no remma onipa nkyɛn
Nna bi wuntumi nka nkyerɛ anim a nkwa wɔ mu. Wɔama wo kwan, na woda so ara wɔ akwan.
Ɔkyerɛw yɛ nea wɔahwehwɛ mu kɛse no mu biako. James Pennebaker, adwene ho nimdefo a odii eyi anim no, hui sɛ nnipa a wɔkyerɛw wɔn adwene ne nkate a emu dɔ ho, mpo bere tiawa wɔ nna kakra mu no, taa te nka sɛ wɔn ho ye na bere bi wɔn nipadua nso ye akyiri yi. Wonkyerɛ obiara. Wonsiesie kasamu no. Ade a ɛyɛ anigye fi n'adwuma mu ne sɛ mfaso no kɔ soro bere a wonyi nkate no adi kɛkɛ na mmom wobɔ mmɔden te ase kakra, a wobisa nea esii ne nea enti a ɛhwee fam saa kwan no so. Enti kyerɛw basabasa no, na afei kyerɛw nsɛm biako fa nea wususuw sɛ ɛkyerɛ ho.
Sɛ wompɛ sɛ wokyerɛw a, ka denneennen kyerɛ wo ho wɔ kar mu. Yɛ nne nkrasɛm na nto bio da. Botae no nyɛ atiefo. Ɛyɛ sɛ wuyi nkate no fi kusukuukuu a ɛwɔ wo ti mu no de bɛyɛ nsɛm ankasa, baabi a wubetumi ahu ne tebea awie.
Sɛ obi ka kyerɛ wo kan
Akyiri anaa ntɛm no wobɛkɔ ɔfa baako no, bere a obi nya akokoduru ka kyerɛ wo sɛ ne ho yeraw no. Sɛnea wuyi wo ho adi no kyerɛkyerɛ wɔn sɛ na ahobammɔ wɔ hɔ, ne sɛ wɔbɛsan ayɛ bio.
Nea wobɛyɛ no sua sen sɛnea nnipa susuw. Wunhia nyansa anaa anoaduru. Nea wuhia ne sɛ wobɛtena hɔ, atie, na wo ho rempopo.
- Ma wɔnwie. Ko tia sɛ wobɛhyɛ kommyɛ no ma anaa wode wʼankasa wʼasɛm bɛsoa wɔn de no so.
- Gyae ɔfa pa no. "Anyɛ yiye a" ne "hwɛ ɔfa pa no" ka kyerɛ obi sɛ ne nkate no nteɛ. "Ɛno te sɛ nea ɛyɛ den ankasa" ka kyerɛ no sɛ ɛyɛ ade a ntease wɔ mu.
- Bisa nea wohia ansa na wode ama. "Wopɛ sɛ mitie kɛkɛ, anaa wopɛ sɛ yɛn baanu susuw ho?"
- San bisa nnansa kakra akyi. Nkrasɛm a wode di akyi no taa ho hia sen biribiara a wokae wɔ bere no mu.
Sɛ wubehu bere a wobɛhwehwɛ adwumayɛni mmoa
Sɛ wo ne nnipa a wɔdɔ wo bɛkasa no yɛ ɔkwan a edi kan a ɛteɛ, na bere a emu yɛ den pii mu no, ɛdɔɔso. Bere bi ɛnnɔɔso, na ɛno nyɛ nnipa no anaa wo nkogu.
Sɛ ɔbrɛ no atena hɔ adapɛn pii, sɛ ɛresiw nna, adwumayɛ, anaa nnipa a wo ho ye wɔ wɔn ho no kwan, sɛ wuhu wo ho sɛ woreyɛ atoro "me ho ye" baabiara efisɛ nokware no yɛ kɛse dodo a, ɛyɛ sɛnkyerɛnne sɛ wobɛkasa kyerɛ obi a wɔatete no. Dɔkota anaa adwene ho dɔkota nyɛ ade a etwa to a wobɛkɔ bere a nneɛma asɛe. Wɔyɛ mmoa a ɛyɛ daa, te sɛ nea wokɔ se dɔkota nkyɛn fa se a ɛkɔ so yɛ ya ho.
Na sɛ wʼadwene adan akɔ sɛ wompɛ sɛ wote ase ha a, mesrɛ wo ntena hɔ wo nko nkura saa. Ka kyerɛ obi nnɛ, onipa a wode wo ho to no so, wo dɔkota, anaa ahohia ahama. Nkate a ɛne sɛ obiara ntumi mmoa no yɛ nea ɛrehaw no ne fã, na ɛnka nokware nkyerɛ wo. Wofata nne ankasa wɔ ɔfa baako, na biako wɔ hɔ.
Bere a edi kan a wobɛka mmuae ankasa ama "wo ho te dɛn" no, ebia ɛbɛfi mu basabasa. Ka no saa ara. Onipa a ɔne wo di nkitaho no taa nhia sɛ ɛyɛ kasamu pa. Ɔhia sɛ ɛyɛ nokware kɛkɛ.
Nsɛm a wonyae mu
- UCLA Health, Putting Feelings Into Words Produces Therapeutic Effects in the Brain
- Cleveland Clinic, Emotions: How To Express What You Feel
- NHS Every Mind Matters, How to talk about your mental health
- American Psychological Association, Expressive writing can help your mental health, with James Pennebaker, PhD