Hunu Wo Ara Nneɛma a Ɛhwanyan Wo

Atenka pɔtee bi wɔ hɔ a ebia wonim. Obi ka kasamu baako wɔ nhyiamu mu, anaa din bi pue wɔ w'email adaka mu, na ansa na woadwene biribiara ho no, w'abogyeɛ amia na w'akoma rebɔ. Wonsii gyinaeɛ sɛ wo bo bɛfu. Wo bo afu dada. Ɛberɛ a wo tirim adwendwene no bɛto wo no, na woatwerɛ mmuaeɛ bi fã a wobɛnu wo ho.

Ɛno yɛ adeɛ a ɛhwanyan wo a ɛreyɛ n'adwuma. Na deɛ ɛyɛ nwonwa ne sɛ: mpɛn pii wotumi hunu obiara foforɔ deɛ. Wonim ɔyɔnkoɔ a ɔyɛ komm sɛ wɔtwa no kasa mu, ɔadamfoɔ a asɛmfua "abasamtu" ma ɔsɛe. Wo ara wo deɛ no yɛ den sɛ wobɛhu, ɛfiri sɛ ɛfiri mfimfini ba, ntɛm, na ɛnte sɛ nsɛm a ɛtaa ba na mmom ɛte sɛ saa berɛ no mu nokorɛ.

Sɛ wobɛsua no yɛ nneɛma a mfasoɔ wɔ so kɛse a wobɛtumi ayɛ ama wo ara wo gyinaberɛ no baako. Ɛnyɛ sɛ wobɛyɛ obi a ɔnkyerɛ atenka da. Na mmom sɛ wobɛnya mmerɛ tiawa bi a ɛda berɛ a wɔahwanyan wo no ne asɛm a wobɛka bio no ntam.

Deɛ Adeɛ a Ɛhwanyan Wo Yɛ Ankasa

Adeɛ a ɛhwanyan wo yɛ tebea bi a ɛkanyan nkyerɛ a ɛso sen tebea no ankasa. Cleveland Clinic kyerɛkyerɛ atenka mu ahwanyan mu sɛ, ɛyɛ mmerɛ a ɛde "nsusuiɛ ne atenka a mpɛn pii ɛnkari pɛ ne asɛm a asi ankasa no" ba. Saa asɛmfua no, "ɛnkari pɛ," ne nsɛnkyerɛnne no. Adeɛ ketewa bi tɔ te sɛ deɛ ɛso.

Mpɛn pii no, ɛfiri sɛ adeɛ ketewa no ne biribi dada bi rehyia. Email tiawa a ɛyɛ den a ɛfiri wo panin nkyɛn no nyɛ email tiawa kɛkɛ; ɛyɛ mmerɛ dodoɔ a wotee nka sɛ wɔrebu wo atɛn na woantumi anni mma wo ho. Mprempren berɛ yi fɛm ne den no firi tete. Ɛnyɛ mprempren na woreyɛ ho adeɛ ntra so. Woreyɛ ho adeɛ pɛpɛɛpɛ, wɔ mmerɛ dodoɔ a atwam a woanwie ate nka da no ho.

Nkyerɛ no da adi wɔ wo nipadua mu ansa na apue wɔ nsɛm mu. Mmatire a amia. Yafunu a abom. Ahome a ayɛ tiaa na aforo wo koko mu. Cleveland Clinic kyerɛ sɛ saa nipadua nsɛnkyerɛnne yi taa yɛ adanseɛ nokwafoɔ a ɛdi kan a ɛkyerɛ sɛ wɔahwanyan wo, na ɛba kane na wɔde wɔn ho to so sen wo ara w'asɛm a woka fa deɛ ɛrekɔ so ho. Wo nipadua nim ansa na wo nim.

Deɛ Enti a Ɛho Din a Wobɛbɔ Boa Kɛse

Ɛha ne baabi a ɛdane yei firi wo-ho-yiyeɛ ho afotusɛm kɛkɛ ma ɛyɛ biribi a tumi ankasa wɔ mu.

Wɔ nhwehwɛmu a agye din bi a wɔyɛɛ wɔ UCLA no, adwene ho ɔbenfoɔ Matthew Lieberman de nnipa hyɛɛ afiri a wɔde hwɛ tiri mu no mu na ɔyii anim a abufuo ne ehu ayɛ no ma kyerɛɛ wɔn. Ɛberɛ a wɔn a wɔfaa mu no de asɛmfua too atenka no so kɛkɛ, na wɔpaw din te sɛ "abufuo" anaa "ehu" no, amygdala mu adwuma so teeɛ. Amygdala yɛ adwene no mu kɔkɔbɔdeɛ, ɔfa a ɛhyɛ wo ma ansa na woadwene biribiara ho. Saa berɛ no ara mu, beaeɛ bi a ɛwɔ moma akyi a ɛne adwendwene a wɔyɛ no boapa fa bɔ abom no hyerɛneeɛ. Ɛte sɛ deɛ atenka no ho din a wɔbɔeɛ no tee ano den no so.

Lieberman asɛm tiawa ne sɛ, sɛ wode atenka to nsɛm mu a, ɛte sɛ deɛ woretia w'atenka mu mmuaeɛ no so brɛki. Adeɛ no ho din a wobɛbɔ no mma ɛnyera. Ɛma wobɛtumi ayɛ ho biribi. Wofiri asorɔkye no mu kɔ akwannya a wogyina ho.

Yei ne deɛ enti a sɛ wobɛhunu nneɛma a ɛhwanyan wo ne sɛ wobɛbɔ w'atenka ho din no yɛ ntini korɔ no ara ankasa. Worentumi mmɔ deɛ woampɛ sɛ wohwɛ no ho din. Na din a wobɔ no na ɛsan de w'adwene fã a wopɛ ampa sɛ ɛhwɛ so no ma wo.

Sɛnea Wobɛhwehwɛ Wo Deɛ Ahu

Ɛnyɛ sɛ wobɛtena komm abisa wo ho deɛ ɛyɛ no na wɔahunu nneɛma a ɛhwanyan wo. Wobɛnya mmuaeɛ a ɛyɛ fɛ, a ɛkamfo wo, a ne dodoɔ nyɛ nokorɛ. Wonya wɔn ɛdenam sɛ wobɛkyere wɔn berɛ a wɔreyɛ na woatwerɛ ato hɔ akyire yi, kɔsi sɛ nsɛm a ɛtaa ba bɛpue. Cleveland Clinic tu fo sɛ fa nsɛm to hɔ tiawa wɔ saa ntease yi ara enti: nsɛm a ɛtaa ba no, sɛ wohwɛ baako baako a wonhunu, na sɛ ɛgu nhyehyɛeɛ mu a, ɛda adi pefee.

Sɔ yei hwɛ. Adapɛn kakra mu, ɛberɛ biara a wobɛhunu sɛ woayɛ biribi ho adeɛ a ɛtra deɛ berɛ no fata no, twerɛ nneɛma ntɛntɛm ɛnan to hɔ berɛ a ɛda so yɛ foforɔ:

1. Deɛ ɛsiiɛ, wɔ kwan pefee so. Ɛnyɛ wo nkyerɛaseɛ, na asɛm a ɛsiiɛ ankasa. "Ɔbisaa berɛ a nkyerɛmu no bɛwie." Ɛnyɛ "ɔkyerɛ sɛ meyɛ brɛoo."
2. Deɛ wo nipadua yɛeɛ kane. Ɛhe na wotee nka, na na ɛyɛ dɛn? Koko a amia, anim a ahye, yafunu a atɔ. Yei ne wo kane kɔkɔbɔ nhyehyɛeɛ, na dodoɔ a wobɔ ho din no, ntɛm a wobɛkyere no ɛtɔ da a.
3. Atenka a ɛhyɛ aseɛ. Mpɛn pii abufuo na ɛda soro. Tena ne ho kakra. Na ɛyɛ aniwuo ankasa anaa? Sɛ wonhunu wo? Ehu sɛ wɔde asɛm bɛto wo so?
4. Deɛ ɛkaee wo. Ɛtɔ da a hwee. Mpɛn pii, sɛ woka nokorɛ a, biribi dada.

Nnawɔtwe baako anaa mmienu akyi no, wobɛfiri aseɛ ahunu nneɛma a ɛsan ba no. Tebea a ɛte saa ara, atenka a ɛdi kan wɔ wo nipadua mu a ɛte saa ara, atenka a ɛhyeɛ a ɛhyɛ abufuo no ase a ɛte saa ara. Saa kuo no yɛ adeɛ a ɛhwanyan wo. Afei wobɛtumi ahunu no sɛ ɛreba.

Deɛ Wobɛyɛ Ɛberɛ a Wotumi Hunu Sɛ Ɛreba

Sɛ wobɔ adeɛ a ɛhwanyan wo ho din a, ɛno nko ara nnyi ne tumi mfiri hɔ. Ɛma wodi kan kakra, na kan a wodi no ne agodie no nyinaa. Nneɛma kakra a wode bɛyɛ:

Ɛberɛ a wote nipadua nsɛnkyerɛnne a wonim no nka a, ɛno ne wo nsɛnkyerɛnne, ɛnyɛ onipa foforɔ no nsɛm. Fa koko a amia no sɛ nsɛm. Ɛreka sɛ: yei yɛ wo deɛ no baako, kɔ brɛoo.

Nya berɛ tiawa ansa na woabua. Home baako a wode fiti mu brɛoo. Kasamu a ɛtwentwɛn, "momma mendwene ho kakra," yɛ adwuma wɔ dan biara mu kakraa. Lieberman nhwehwɛmu yɛ nkae a mfasoɔ wɔ so wɔ ha: sɛ wobɔ deɛ wote nka no din kɛkɛ mpo, komm, kyerɛ wo ho a, ɛyi emu hyeɛ no bi firi hɔ. "Merebɔ me ho ban" yɛ kasamu a ɛwie pɛyɛ na tumi a ɛyɛ nwonwa wɔ mu.

Bɔ atenka no din, ɛnyɛ onipa no. Nsonsonoeɛ ankasa da "mehunu sɛ merebɔ me ho ban" ne "woreto ahyɛ me so" ntam. Deɛ ɛdi kan no ma wokura akwankyerɛ no. Deɛ ɛtɔ so mmienu no de akwankyerɛ no ma adeɛ a ɛhwanyan wo no.

Si emu bi ho gyinaeɛ ansa na ɛba. Sɛ wonim sɛ nkasabɔ wɔ badwam yɛ wo deɛ no baako a, wobɛtumi ayɛ nhyehyɛeɛ, berɛ a wo bo adwo, sɛnea wopɛ sɛ wodi ho dwuma ansa na ɛba. "Sɛ me ho hye me wɔ berɛ a wɔabɔ me din a, mehome baako na mebisa asɛm sɛ mede asi me ho ho ban ananmu." Gyinaeɛ a wosi no berɛ a wo bo adwo no, ɛyɛ mmerɛ kɛse sɛ wobɛfa no wɔ berɛ a ɛyɛ hye mu.

Yeinom mu biara nfa sɛ wobɛyɛ obi a hwee nhaw no ho. Wɔbɛsan afa wo mfinimfini ara. Botaeɛ no sua na wobɛtumi adu ho: sɛ wobɛtwa mmerɛ tiawa bi afiri ntokuro no ho, mpɛn pii a ɛbɛma wo nkyerɛ mu deɛ ɛyɛ tan koraa no rempue wo anom.

Asɛm Bi Fa Deɛ Ɛyɛ Den No Ho

Nneɛma a ɛhwanyan wo no bi nyɛ adwuma mu akasakasa. Ɛfam ɔhaw a emu dɔ ankasa, ayɛbɔne, adehwere, nneɛma a wo nipadua suaa sɛ ɛbɛsiw ano afiri ntease pa bi enti. Sɛ adeɛ a ɛhwanyan wo de nkyerɛ a ɛbɔ wo hu ba, deɛ worentumi mma so, anaa deɛ ɛtwe wo san kɔ nkaeɛ bi a worentumi mfiri mu, ɛno nyɛ ɔpɛ mu tumi ho asɛm na atenka nwoma nso nyɛ adwinnadeɛ a ɛfata.

Ɛno yɛ adeɛ a ɛfata sɛ wo ne adwene ho ɔyaresafoɔ yɛ ho adwuma, obi a ɔbɛtumi anante wo mmɔdeneɛ so na wabɔ wo ho ban berɛ a woreyɛ. Cognitive behavioral therapy ne akwan a ɛhwɛ ɔhaw a emu dɔ no so no wɔ hɔ ma yei pɛpɛɛpɛ. Sɛ wobɛhwehwɛ saa mmoa no nkyerɛ sɛ woandi wo ho so anni nkonim. Ɛkyerɛ sɛ wote nsonsonoeɛ a ɛda deɛ wo nko ara wobɛtumi ayɛ ne deɛ ɛfata mmoa ankasa no ntam ase.

Nanso daa nneɛma a ɛhwanyan wo no, deɛ ɛsua a ɛma wo ano yɛ nnam sen sɛnea wopɛ no, wobɛtumi ayɛ ho biribi ampa. Wohwɛ. Wotwerɛ to hɔ. Wosua wo ara wo nneɛma a ɛtaa ba. Na ɛtɔ da foforɔ a berɛ a wɔhwanyan wo no ba a, wobɛnya akwannya a ɛdɔɔso sɛ wobɛpaw deɛ ɛbɛsi wɔ akyire yi.

Nnyinasoɔ

• Cleveland Clinic, Can You Identify Your Emotional Triggers?
• UCLA Health, Putting Feelings Into Words Produces Therapeutic Effects in the Brain
• Lieberman et al., Putting Feelings Into Words: Affect Labeling Disrupts Amygdala Activity (Psychological Science)
• Tasha Eurich, What Self-Awareness Really Is (and How to Cultivate It) (Harvard Business Review)