Wɔsrɛɛ no sɛ ɔnka nsɛm wɔ obi a ɔbu no na ɔregyae adwuma no apontoɔ ase, na ɔfaa no aniberesɛm. Ɔtwerɛɛ mprɛnan, na ne nyinaa fa ne ho. Adeɛ a ɔyɛeɛ wɔ 2009 mu a anka obi foforo biara renyɛ. Sɛdeɛ na ɔhwɛ dan mu a ɔmma ne nne so. Telefon frɛ a ɔfrɛeɛ maa nhwehwɛmufo abofra bi a wanhunu da.
Ɔrekɔ fie no, ɔhunuu sɛ anka ɔrentumi ntwerɛ saa nkyekyɛm no wɔ ne ho. Ɛnyɛ ahobrɛase nti. Ɔyɛ n'adwuma yiye pa ara na ɔnim. Na ɔnnim nsɛmfua dunum a obi de bɛka ne ho asɛm no ara kwa.
Ɛno yɛ tebea a ɛtaa to onipa a ɔwɔ nimdeɛ, na wobetumi asiesie wɔ dɔnhwerew fa mu. Kasamu a nnipa de bɛka wo ho asɛm akyire yi no, wɔretwerɛ dedaw, dapɛn koro biara. Wubetumi ama akɔ so aboa ano n'ankasa, anaasɛ wubetumi atwerɛ no wo nsa na woakɔyɛ no nokware.
Kasamu no ne dɛn, na adɛn nti na ɛyɛ nsɛmfua dunum?
Ɛyɛ nsɛm a obi a onim wo de bɛka wo ho asɛm bere a wunni dan no mu, na nsɛmfua dunum no yɛ nhyɛso a ɛhyɛ wo ma wosi gyinae turodoo. Deɛ ɛware sen saa no ma wokura nneɛma mmiɛnsa a wonni no ankasa, na ɛno pɛpɛɛpɛ na ɛma nnipa botaeɛ nsɛm dane nkyekyɛm a obiara ntumi nkae, a onipa a ɔtwerɛeɛ no mpo ka ho.
Nsɛm tiawa no yɛ biribi a deɛ ɛware ntumi nyɛ. Ɛsɛ sɛ wotumi ka. Sɛ wuntumi nka no home baako mu a, wɔrensan nka no da, na kasamu a wɔnsan nka no nyɛ deɛ nnipa de ka wo ho asɛm. Ɛyɛ krataa kɛkɛ.
Ɛboa sɛ wobɛhunu botaeɛ no kɛseyɛ. "Ɔfaa nnipa a anka obi foforo biara remfa wɔn na wɔn mu fa rehwɛ nneɛma so seesei" yɛ nsɛmfua dunkron na ɛhia twitwa. "Ɔkaa dodow no kyerɛɛ wo ntɛm, bere biara" yɛ nwɔtwe na ɛbɛtumi asoa pii. Wɔ saa ntam hɔ baabi na deɛ ɛfa wo ho pɔtee na ɛyɛ tiawa a wobetumi aka wɔ ɛpono ho no wɔ. Ɛno ne botaeɛ no nyinaa, na ɛsua sen sɛdeɛ dwumadie no te ansa na woafiri ase.
Adanseɛ pa nso wɔ hɔ sɛ atwerɛ a ɛfa wo gyinapɛn ahodoɔ ho nyɛ ahyehyɛdeɛ kwa. Cohen ne Sherman nhwehwɛmu a ɛfa self-affirmation adwuma ho wɔ Annual Review of Psychology mu no huu sɛ atwerɛ tiawa a ɛfa onipa gyinapɛn ho betumi ama nneɛma ayɛ yie wɔ adesua, akwahosan ne abusuabɔ mu, ɛtɔ da bi a, bosome anaa mfeɛ akyi, ɛfiri sɛ ɛsesa sɛdeɛ onipa hunu nhyɛso a ɛda n'anim. Nsɛmfua dunum yɛ saa dwumadie no a adwuma ka ho.
Menyɛ dɛn na matwerɛ me deɛ a ɛnte sɛ adwumakuo kasa?
Twerɛ fa nnipa ne nneyɛe ho, na ɛnyɛ nkyekyɛmu ho da. Twa nsɛmfua biara a ɛbɔ adwuma dibea, adwumakuo su, anaa nsɛmfua a wobɛhunu wɔ adwumayɛ nhwehwɛmu krataa so no gu, na deɛ ɛbɛka no taa bɛn kasamu nokwafo no.
Mprɛnsa a wobɛfa so na ɛde nnipa dodow no ara du hɔ.
Ɔfa a edi kan, twerɛ no bɔne. Twerɛ biribiara. "Ɔkannifo a ɔwɔ anisoadehunu a ɔde nsakraeɛ kɛse ba" yɛ nkyerɛwde bɔne pa, ɛfiri sɛ ɛkyerɛ wo deɛ woafa afiri afoforo hɔ na ɛnyɛ deɛ wo ara wopaweɛ.
Ɔfa a ɛtɔ so mmienu, fa onipa hyɛ mu. Kasamu a onipa foforo biara nni mu no taa yɛ adwumayɛ krataa mu nsɛm. "Ɔmaa adwumayɛ bere mmiɛnsa yɛɛ yie na wamfa animuonyam no mmaa ne ho da" yɛ kasamu. "Ɔkaa nokware kyerɛɛ nnipa ntɛm ara sɛnea ɛbɛyɛ a wobɛyɛ ho biribi" yɛ kasamu. Ne mmienu nyinaa bɔ nneyɛe bi din a obi a ɔnyaa bi no behunu.
Ɔfa a ɛtɔ so mmiɛnsa, twa kɔ dunum so. Nsɛmfua biara a wopepa no ma deɛ ɛka no bo yɛ den. Di kan pepa nsɛmfua a ɛkyerɛkyerɛ mu, afei deɛ ɛbrɛ ase, afei adwuma no.
Hwɛ mu pɛnkoro bio. Wo yɔnko adwumayɛfoɔ betumi aka eyi afa wo ho nnɛ a n'anim nsakra anaa, anaasɛ ɛfa wo su a ɛbɛba afe a ɛreba no akyi nkoaa? Mmuae mmienu no nyinaa ho wɔ mfasoɔ. Deɛ edi kan kyerɛ sɛ wowɔ nkyerɛkyerɛmu. Deɛ ɛtɔ so mmienu kyerɛ sɛ wowɔ botaeɛ, na ɛno ye kɛse.
Menyɛ dɛn na mahunu sɛ ɛyɛ nokware ampa?
Hwɛ bosome a etwaam no mu, ɛnyɛ afe a ɛreba. Bue wo calendar ne nkrasɛm a woasoma dapɛn nnan a etwaam mu, na hyɛ bere biara a ɔhɔhoɔ a okura wo kasamu no anka ho nsɛm dedaw no agyiraeɛ, afei kan sɛ w'adwuma nnɔnhwerew no mu ɔha biara mu ahe na saa bere no yɛ.
Afe a ɛreba no ne baabi a nnipa hinta. Obiara nhyehyɛe a ɛfa afe a ɛreba ho ne ne kasamu hyia pɛpɛɛpɛ, ɛfiri sɛ akwansideɛ biara nni afe a ɛreba mu. Bosome a etwaam no yɛ adanseɛ. Nhyiamu a wode wo ho maeɛ ɛfiri sɛ woataa yɛ saa wɔ mu, adeɛ a woyɛeɛ yiye a obiara ammisa, ne nnɔnhwerew mmienu a wode maa obi a woantwerɛ baabiara.
Bere a wowɔ hɔ no, yɛ fa a ɛtɔ so mmienu: hwan na meboaa no. Bɔ nnipa no din, ɛnyɛ dwumadie ahodoɔ no. Nnipa dodow no ara hunu sɛ saa fa yi ayɛ ma sen sɛdeɛ na wɔsusuw, na wɔantwerɛ mu biribiara koraa, na eyi ho hia sɛ wobɛhunu, ɛfiri sɛ nsɛmfua dunum a ɛtena mfeɛ du no taa fa saa fa no ho na ɛnyɛ deɛ wode bae ho.
Mmu wo ho atɛn wɔ eyi biara mu sɛ du mu ahe. Nkan no yɛ nsusuwii, na ade baako pɛ a ɛsɛ sɛ wunya fi mu ne dodow bi a wubetumi de atoto bosome a ɛreba ho. Wo nnɔnhwerew mu ɔha mu aduonu a ɛkyerɛ wo kasamu no so yɛ mfiase pa ma obi a ɔwɔ adwuma turodoo ne calendar a ayɛ ma. Ɔha mu hwee nyɛ suban ho asɛm. Ɛyɛ bere nhyehyɛe mu adeɛ, na wunim sɛdeɛ wosiesie bere nhyehyɛe dedaw.
Sɛ bosome a etwaam no ne kasamu no nhyia a, ɛnneɛ?
Ɛnneɛ woahunu fa a mfasoɔ wɔ mu, na nsiesiei no yɛ calendar mu nsakraeɛ baako wɔ dapɛn yi mu, ɛnyɛ asetena foforo. Nnɔnhwerew kakraa bi ntam kwan yɛ bere nhyehyɛe ho asɛm. Sɛ biribiara ntam kwan da hɔ a, ɛyɛ kasamu no ho asɛm, na ɛkyerɛ sɛ wotwerɛɛ kasamu a wobu na ɛnyɛ deɛ wobɛgyina akyi.
Sheldon ne Elliot adwuma a ɛfa self-concordance ho no ne deɛ enti a eyi ho hia sen sɛnea ɛte. Botaeɛ a ɛne deɛ onipa bu no aniberesɛm ankasa hyia no nya mmɔdenbɔ pii na wɔtaa du ho, na sɛ wodu ho a, ɛyɛ ma onipa no sen deɛ ɔfɛm firii obi foforo hɔ. Enti nhwehwɛmu no nyɛ ahosohyɛ dwumadie. Ɛyɛ nhwehwɛ a ɛkyerɛ sɛ ebia wode w'ahoɔden kɛseɛ no reyɛ adeɛ a anka wobɛpaw sɛ wode w'adwene si so a.
Sɛ ntam kwan no sua a, tu bere a ɛba daa no baako wɔ dapɛn yi mu na gyaw deɛ aka nyinaa. Sɛ ntam kwan no yɛ biribiara a, twerɛ kasamu no bio na ɛnyɛ calendar no, ɛfiri sɛ kasamu a wuntumi ntena mu no yɛ ɔkwan fɛfɛ a wofa so te nka sɛ woaka akyi kɛkɛ.
Nsɛmfua dunum yɛ gyinaesi mmara, ɛnyɛ anwensɛm
Mfasoɔ no da adi bere a obi bɛbisa wo biribi bio. Mfeɛ nnum nhyehyɛe rentumi mmoa wo dɔnhwerew nnan awiabere, nanso nsɛmfua dunum kasamu betumi, ɛfiri sɛ wubetumi de abisadeɛ atoto ho wɔ bɛyɛ simma mmienu mu. Sɛ mepene eyi so a, ɛbɛma kasamu no ayɛ nokware kɛse anaa ketewa? Ɛno yɛ ntɛm sen nhyehyɛe biara na wubetumi de akɔ gyinaesi biara a wubesi wɔ bosome mmiɛnsa yi mu mu.
Ɛtena hɔ wɔ adwuma nsakraeɛ mu nso, na nhyehyɛe a wɔasi wɔ dibea bi so ntumi nyɛ saa da. Nhyehyɛeɛ foforo, adwumakuo su ne adwumawuranom tu wɔn nan, na kasamu a ɛfa sɛdeɛ wone nnipa di ne deɛ wugyina so no ne wo tu, a ɛho amfi. Ɛno ne nnyinasoɔ turodoo a enti nsɛmfua dunum no nka adwuma dibea no ho. Wɔhaw dibea. Nneyɛe no yɛ wo dea, na nneyɛe no na obiara de bɛka wo ho asɛm wɔ apontoɔ ase mfeɛ aduonu firi nnɛ.
Nsɛmfua dunum nso yera ntɛm dodo wɔ notes app mu, enti fa si baabi a wubehu no. Afei kɔ so. Kasamu no nyɛ abisadeɛ sɛ brɛ wo ho ase anaa pɛ biribiara ketewa. Ɛyɛ nsonoeɛ a ɛma wugye nneɛma a ɛho hia so denneennen, mfeɛ aduonu bio, a afe biara ahopere a ɛfa sɛ eyi biara nyaa ɔkwan bi a ɛnam so nni ho.
Nnyinasoɔ
- Annual Review of Psychology, The psychology of change: self-affirmation and social psychological intervention
- Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Goal striving, need satisfaction, and longitudinal well-being: the self-concordance model