Afotusɛm ntiantia
- One long exhale before you choose.
- Decide what good enough has to include.
- Ask if this choice can be undone later.
Sika su titiriw bi a ɛnfa nea wunnim nea wobɛyɛ ho. Wunim akwan no. Woakenkan asɛm no, woabu akontaa no, woabisa nnipa baanu a wugye wɔn di. Nanso wuntumi ntu kɔ, efisɛ wo mu fa bi retwɛn nsɛm baako a aka a ɛbɛma mmuae no ada adi pefee. Ɛmma da. Bere a ɛsɛ sɛ woyɛ no na ɛba mmom.
Gyinaesi ankasa pii te saa. Wode mfonini no fa mmɔho aduosia retɔ aso, wɔ nhyɛso bi ase, a nkurɔfo rehwɛ ahu nea wobɛyɛ. Adwene a ɛnyɛ nokware ne sɛ gyinaesifo pa no wɔ ahotoso. Wonni bi. Wɔama wɔn ho ato wɔn yam sɛ wobesi gyinae ara kwa, na wɔasua sɛnea wɔyɛ a wɔremma ahohaw nni so.
Twɛn nso yɛ gyinaesi
Afide no ne sɛ wode akyiri yɛ ɔkwan a ɛhɔ tɔ na ɛyɛ asɛyɛde. Ɛyɛ sɛ ahwɛyiye. Sɛ woboaboa nsɛm pii ano, woegye adwene foforo, woda so bio. Ebi mu yɛ nyansa ankasa. Nanso sɛ ɛtra baabi a, wonretew asiane no so, na mmom wode rekɔ baabi a wuntumi nhu, bere a wiase rekɔ so resesa atwa asɛm a woagyae no ho ahyia.
Harvard Business Review ne Ania Masinter kaa ɔhaw no pefee: nnɛ akannifo wɔ nsɛm pii sen kan na wonni adwene mu da hɔ, na sɛ wotwɛn ma adwene no mu da hɔ a ɛgyaw wo wɔ tebea bɔne mu bere a sɛ woyɛ ntɛm a ɛkanyan mfomso. "Ahɔtɔ" agyirae nni dial no so. Sɛ wunsi gyinae a, ɛyɛ gyinabea a woagye, a nsunsuanso ka ho, woahintaw no ahintaw wʼankasa wo ho denam frɛ a wofrɛ no abodwokyɛre so.
Enti adee a edi kan ne nokware ho akontaabu. Bisa nea akyiritwe no retɔ ankasa. Sɛ da foforo anaa nkɔmmɔbɔ foforo bɛsesa wo mmuae yiye a, fa. Sɛ woreboaboa nsɛm ano sɛnea wo ho bɛtɔ wo na ɛnyɛ sɛnea wubesi gyinae yiye a, ɛno nyɛ ahwɛyiye. Ɛyɛ akyiritwe a ɛrekasa.
Nea ahohaw yɛ wo mu fa a ɛsi gyinae
Ɛboa sɛ wuhu nea woreko atia, efisɛ nhyɛso no nyɛ nea enye kɛkɛ. Ɛsesa mfiri no.
Bere a woahaw a, wo nipadua mu yɛ ma cortisol, na ɛno wɔ nkɛntɛnso a wobetumi asusuw wɔ sɛnea wobu nneɛma a wopaw no ho. 2022 nhwehwɛmu a ɛyɛ nhyehyɛe a ɛwɔ European Journal of Neuroscience mu hwɛɛ nhwehwɛmu dunwɔtwe mu na ehui sɛ nkɛntɛnso a ɛda adi pefee pue wɔ baabi a ɛho hia paa: dwumadi a nea ahodwiriw ne nneɛma a ɛyɛ kɛse ka ho. Ahohaw ne cortisol mmuae a ɛka ho no sesaa sɛnea nnipa sii gyinae wɔ saa tebea no mu. Nhwehwɛmu foforo hu sɛ bere a nhyɛso no foro na bere yɛ tia a, gyinaesi mu papa taa tew, na ɛtew ntɛm wɔ nsɛm a ɛyɛ den ankasa na emu da hɔ no so.
Hu nea ɛno kyerɛ. Ahohaw nyɛ gyinaesi a ɛyɛ den no nko na ɛma ɛyɛ den. Ɛsɛe atemmu a anka wode bɛsi no komm, na ɛyɛ ɔsɛe kɛse pɛɛ bere a asɛm no yɛ kɛse na mmuae no nna hɔ pefee. Tebea pɔtee a ɛma gyinaesi ho hia ne nea ɛtwe wo adwene papa no fi adwumayɛ mu.
Ɛno nyɛ ntease a wode rentumi nnye wo ho ndi. Ɛyɛ ntease a wode bɛyɛ nhyehyɛe a ɛnnyina so sɛ wo ho bɛdwo koraa ansa na ayɛ adwuma.
Afide a ɛwɔ fa foforo
Adwumayɛ a enye wɔ fa foforo a ɛne sɛ wobɛyɛ basaa no, na ɛyɛ daa nso. Wɔ nhyɛso ase, nnipa bi nnyɛ komm, wɔsɔ mmuae a edi kan a ɛma ahodwiriw no dwo mu na wɔbɔ ho ban den. Ahotoso a ɛnyɛ nokware te sɛ gyinaesi. Ɛnte saa. Ɛyɛ ahohaw koro no ara a ɛhyɛ atade foforo.
Nsɛnkyerɛnne no ne sɛnea wode nsɛm foforo di dwuma bere a woapaw wie no. Sɛ nokwasɛm bi ba a etia wʼakwan na adee a edi kan a wopɛ sɛ woyɛ ne sɛ wobɛkyerɛ ase ama afi hɔ a, ɛsɛ sɛ wuhu no. Ahotoso a ɛyɛ nokware wɔ ahodwiriw mu no kura mu fɛɛfɛɛ. Wode wo ho hyɛ adeyɛ no mu na wukura gyidi no mu fɛɛfɛɛ, sɛnea wubetumi asesa kwan bere a fam no sesa. Akannifo a wɔyɛ eyi bɔne nyɛ wɔn a wɔnnya adwene mu da hɔ. Ɛyɛ wɔn a wosii gyinae prɛko na afei wogyaee hwɛ.
Ɔkwan tiawa a wode bɛbɔ eyi ho ban: ansa na wobɛhyɛ mu no, bisa asɛm nokware baako. Dɛn na ɛsɛ sɛ ɛyɛ nokware ansa na me adwene ayɛ mfomso wɔ ha, na anka mehu mpo sɛ saa na ɛte? Wonrebɔ mmɔden sɛ wobɛkyerɛ wo ho ase afi gyinaesi no mu. Worema mfɛnsere no abue kakra sɛnea nokwasɛm betumi adu wo nkyɛn.
Tew ahohaw no ano ansa na wopaw
Wuntumi mfa adwene mfi ahohaw mmuae mu bere a wo da so wɔ mu. Enti ansa na wode wo nsa besi gyinae ankasa no, di kan yɛ honam fam ade a ɛyɛ awerɛhowdi no. Ahomegye baako, tenten. Nan to fam. Yi wʼabogye mu na to wʼabati ase. Eyi a wode sekan aduasa bɛyɛ no boa wʼatemmu sen sɛ wode dɔnhwerew foforo bɛhwɛ spreadsheet no, efisɛ ɛtwe wo fi gyer a wode tu mmirika no mu kɔ nea ebetumi akura akwan abien mu pɛ no mu.
Afei fa gyinaesi no hyɛ asɛm mu, kasa anaa kyerɛw. "Mereyɛ paw wɔ A ne B ntam ansa na Yawoada adu, na ade a ɛbɔ me hu ne C." Sɛ wobɛbɔ ehu no din a ɛma no kɛtew. Gyinaesi mu kɔsɔ pii yɛ ehu ankasa wɔ nsunsuanso bɔne pɔtee bi a wonkaa no pefee da ho, enti ɛkɔ akɔneaba ma biribiara yɛ sɛ ɛho hia kɛse. Kura mu pintinn na mpɛn pii wubehu sɛ wubetumi atena ase.
Worenhwehwɛ mmuae a eye sen biara
Adwennan a ɛma nnipa pii ho da hɔ ni. Mpɛn pii woreapaw nea eye sen biara, efisɛ sɛ wobenya nea eye sen biara a, ɛbɛhwehwɛ nsɛm ne bere a wunni. Sikasɛm nimdefo Herbert Simon nyaa Nobel Prize, nea ɛka ho ne sɛ ɔbɔɔ eyi din. Ɔfrɛɛ onipa adwene "ano a ɛwɔ": yesi gyinae a yɛwɔ nsɛm a ɛsa, bere a ɛsa, ne adwene a etumi kura kakra pɛ bere koro mu.
Ne mmuae nyɛ sɛ ɔbɛte nka bɔne wɔ ho. Ɛyɛ akyiritwe a ɔfrɛɛ no satisficing, "satisfy" ne "suffice" afrafra. Sɛ ɛkyerɛ sɛ worehwehwɛ paw a edi mu no, wode hyɛ agyirae pefee ma nea "eye sɔ" te sɛnea, na wofa kwan a edi kan a etwa mu no. Ɛno nyɛ sɛ wode wʼɔkwan resi fam. Ɛyɛ wʼɔkwan a wode hyia nokwasɛm. Mpɛn pii ahwehwɛ a wohwehwɛ mmuae a edi mu no ne sɛnea mmuae a eye sɔ no kɔ bere a worenpaw no.
Enti ansa na wode akwan no bɛkari no, paw nea ɛbɛma gyinae bi ayɛ nea wobegye atom. Dɛn na eyi gyinae yi hia sɛ ɛyɛ ankasa? Bere a wubetumi abɔ ɔkwammɔ no din a, atotoho no yɛ mmerɛw, na mpɛn pii ho da hɔ no firi ankasa.
Ɔkwan a wode bɛsi gyinae no ankasa
Bere a woadu sɛ wubesi gyinae no, nhyehyɛe a emu nna hɔ pefee no si ahohaw no kwan sɛ wɔrenni so:
- Bɔ gyinae ankasa no ne bere a etwa to no din. Ka nea worepaw ne bere a ɛsɛ sɛ woyɛ no pefee. Gyinae a emu nna hɔ pefee da hɔ daa. Nea ɛwɔ da no na wɔyɛ.
- Si abasobɔ no. Dɛn na ɛsɛ sɛ nea eye sɔ no kura? Kyerɛw nneɛma abien anaa abiɛsa a ɛho hia ankasa, na gyae wishlist tenten no.
- Bisa nea anka ɛsɛ sɛ wuhu na woahu nokware, na afei bisa sɛ wubetumi anya wɔ bere no mu anaa. Sɛ aane a, kɔfa. Sɛ daabi a, woapɛnso sɛ woresi gyinae wɔ nea emu nna hɔ pefee ase, na sɛ woyɛ wo ho sɛ ɛnte saa a, ɛsɛe bere no kɛkɛ.
- Hwɛ sɛnea wobɛtumi adan no. Eyi ne tumi a ɛyɛ komm no. Gyinaesi pii a ɛte sɛ ɛyɛ kɛse no yɛ apon a ɛbuw akwan abien. Sɛ wobetumi adan paw bi anaa wasiesie a, wubetumi ayɛ ntɛm na woasesa akyiri. Fa nhyehyɛe a ɛkɔ akyiri ne nea ɛsa to apon a ɛbuw ɔkwan koro ankasa so.
- Si gyinae no, na kyerɛw nea enti. Asɛm baako dɔɔso: nea mepaw ne nea na minim bere a mepaw no ni. Saa kyerɛwtohɔ no na ɛma wusua biribi sen sɛ wobɛsan ahwɛ wʼadwene mu kɛkɛ.
Saa anammɔn a etwa to no ho hia sen sɛnea ɛda adi. Nsunsuanso yɛ basaa. Gyinaesi pa betumi ada adi bɔne na nea enye nso betumi anya tiri. Enti sɛ wode nea efii mu nko na ɛbu wo ho atɛn a, wubesua adesua a ɛnteɛ. Bu gyinaesi no atɛn denam nea na wunim ne sɛnea wopaw saa bere no so.
Bere a ɛkɔ bɔne, na ɛbɛkɔ saa
Gyinaesi a wode nsɛm a ɛsa yɛ no bi bɛyɛ bɔne. Ɛno nyɛ mfomso wɔ wʼakwan mu. Ɛyɛ ka a wotua wɔ wiase ankasa mu, baabi a ɔkwan a aka, sɛ wotwɛn ahotoso, ma sɛ woaka akyi daa.
Harvard nhwehwɛmuni Amy Edmondson de nsonsonoe pa ka mfomso a wɔanhwɛ yiye ne nea ɔfrɛ no intelligent failures no ntam, nea ɛba wɔ baabi foforo a wuntumi nhwɛ mmuae no dedaw, a na ɛrekɔ botaeɛ ankasa bi mu, na wɔanma ankyɛn nea ɛho hia sɛnea wubesua biribi. Gyinae a ɛnyɛ nokware a wofaa adwene fii yɛɛ no, wɔ tebea a wunhuu da, a wɔama emu nsunsuanso bɔne ada hɔ kakra no nyɛ atemmu mu mfomso. Ɛyɛ sɛnea obiara a ɔreyɛ adwuma wɔ ahodwiriw ase no kɔ wʼanim. Akyiritwe no nyɛ sɛ wobɛkwati ɔkwan bɔne biara. Ɛyɛ sɛ wobɛma nea enye no ayɛ ketewa na woasua afi mu ntɛm.
Eyi san kyerɛ adanae ne wo nteaseɛ kyerɛwtohɔ. Gyinaesi a wubetumi asiesie, ne kyerɛwtohɔ a ɛfa nea enti a wopaw, dan wo mfomso ayɛ no nsɛm sen awerɛhow.
Gyinaesi bere a nkurɔfo rehwɛ
Gyinae a ɛyɛ den pii nyɛ wo nko na woyɛ. Wode kuw resi gyinae, anaa woresi ama kuw, na wʼahodwiriw bɛyɛ akannifoɔsɛm wɔ adwennimde ho. Adwennan ne sɛ wobɛkata akyinnyegye no so, na woakyerɛ ahotoso a edi mu sɛnea obiara renkɔ ahopopo mu. Mpɛn pii ɛsan ba. Nnipa betumi ate kwan a ɛda wʼanim a edwo ne nokwasɛm a ɛrepopo no ntam, na nsonsonoe no kenkan sɛ atosɛm anaa nnaadaa.
Ɔkwan a edwo wɔ hɔ. Ka nea wunim, ka nea wunnim, na ka nea woapaw ara kwa. "Nea ɛda hɔ pefee ni, nea yɛruntumi nhu seesei ni, gyinae a meresi ne nea enti ni, na nsɛnkyerɛnne a ɛbɛma yɛasesa ni." Saa ɔkasa a ɛda hɔ pefee no nkenkan sɛ mmerɛwyɛ. Ɛkenkan sɛ obi a okura nhyehyɛe no so mmom sen sɛ ɔreyɛ ne ho sɛ ɔkura nsunsuanso no so. Ɛsan ma ɛho dwo nnipa a wɔatwa wo ho ahyia sɛ wɔbɛbɔ ade a wohu a wo anhu no din, a mpɛn pii ɛyɛ nsɛm a wuhia paa na wuntumi nnya bere a wode ahotoso reyɛ ne ho no.
Botaeɛ no nyɛ sɛ wobɛma kuw no nte nka biara. Ɛyɛ sɛ wobɛma wɔn onipa a n'adwene mu da hɔ a wɔbɛhwɛ no bere a mfonini no da so refa. Gyina pintinn wɔ sɛnea wubesi gyinae ho ho hia kuw a ɛhaw no sen ahotoso a ɛnyɛ nokware wɔ nea ɛbɛba ho.
Bere a ɛboro dapɛn a ɛyɛ den so
Nsonsonoe wɔ duru a ɛyɛ daa a ɛfa gyinaesi wɔ nhyɛso ase ne biribi a ehia mmoa pii ntam. Sɛ wuhu sɛ gyinaesi, nea ɛyɛ ketewa mpo, yɛ den dapɛn pii, sɛ ehu a ɛfa paw ho rekɔ wo nna mu anaa wo akɔnnɔ anaa sɛnea wo ne nnipa a wɔbɛn wo di a, anaasɛ ahohaw no nkenkan sɛ bere a adwuma dɔɔso na ɛkenkan sɛ kusukuukuu a wuntumi mfi mu a, ɛno fata sɛ wode kɔ ɔyaresafo anaa adwennimfo nkyɛn. Gyinaesi a wuntumi nyɛ daa ne ahodwow a ɛwɔ ase no betumi ayɛ nsɛnkyerɛnne a ɛkyerɛ ahodwiriw anaa awerɛhow, na ɛno gye mmoa ankasa yiye. Sɛ woresɔ saa a, ɛnyɛ nsɛnkyerɛnne sɛ wuntumi nni wʼankasa wo gyinaesi ho dwuma. Ɛyɛ gyinaesi pa a wubetumi asi mu baako.
Nanso, mpɛn pii, adwuma no yɛ ketewa na ɛyɛ daa. Ma wo nipadua nnya ahotɔ. Bɔ ehu no din. Si abasobɔ no. Hwɛ ɔpon no. Paw, na kyerɛw nea enti. Wonte nka sɛ wo ho atɔ wo. Woasi gyinae ara kwa, da ne nti, a wode wo mu papa adi dwuma, a ɛno ne nea obiara ayɛ pɛn.
Mfiri
- Harvard Business Review, Make Better Strategic Decisions Amid Uncertainty
- European Journal of Neuroscience (via PubMed), Effects of psychological stress and cortisol on decision making and modulating factors: A systematic review
- Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, Bounded Rationality (Herbert Simon and satisficing)
- I by IMD, The Right Kind of Wrong: Why failure is a powerful tool for progress and innovation (Amy Edmondson)