Afotusɛm ntiantia
- Name the feeling quietly to yourself.
- Write the hard thing for fifteen minutes.
- Say not now, but mean later.
Wotee ne yaw na woyɛɛ gyinae, simma fã mu, sɛ ɛnyɛ saa bere no. Ebia obi kaa biribi a ɛtɔɔ baabi a enye. Ebia awerɛhow asorɔkye bi baa wɔ aduandwetɔdan mu. Enti woyɛɛ nea wɔkyerɛɛ yɛn mu dodow no ara sɛ yɛnyɛ. Womenee. Wo ho yɛɛ komm. Woka kyerɛɛ wo ho sɛ wubedi ho dwuma akyiri yi, na akyiri yi no amma koraa da.
Saa nkate no nyɛ bɔne biara. Ɛtɔ mmere bi a wode nkate bɛsie dɔnhwerew biako yɛ gyinae a ɛyɛ pɛpɛɛpɛ. Ɔhaw no ne bere a kaa a wode hyɛ mu dan ade a wonim no nko ara, nea wofa daa bere biara no, efisɛ nhwehwɛmu a ɛfa nea ɛba akyiri yi no ho yɛ nea ɛkɔ ɔkwan koro so a ɛyɛ nwonwa. Nkate a wode hyɛ ase no nyɛ no ketewa. Mpɛn pii ɛma ɛyɛ dede kɛse, na ɛma ne ka kɔ baabi a na wonhwɛ.
Ade a wonnwen ho no
Sɔhwɛ a agye din bi wɔ hɔ a ɛkyerɛ eyi mu pii wɔ mfonin biako mu. Wɔka kyerɛɛ nnipa sɛ wɔntena dan bi mu na, nea wɔbɛyɛ biara, wonnwen sisi fitaa ho. Wubetumi adwen sɛnea ɛkɔɔ. Sisi fitaa no baa mpɛn pii. Na ɛha na fã a ɛho hia no wɔ: bere a wɔka kyerɛɛ saa nnipa koro no ara akyiri yi sɛ wobetumi adwen sisi no ho kwan biara so no, ɛsan baa mmirika so kɛse sen nnipa a wɔanka ankyerɛ wɔn da sɛ wɔmfa nhyɛ ase mfi mfiase no.
Adwene ho nimdefo Daniel Wegner frɛɛ eyi rebound effect, na nkyerɛkyerɛmu no te sɛ nea ɛyɛ serew bere a wohu no. Sɛ wobɛma adwene bi atena akyi a, wʼadwene fã biako bɛhwɛ bere biara sɛ adwene no ayera anaa. Saa hwɛ no ma adwene no tena hɔ komm. Wodan ade a wopɛ sɛ wo werɛ fi no anadwo wɛmfo.
Nkate yɛ adwuma saa ara pɛpɛɛpɛ. Sɛ wokyere nkate bi mu a, wo fã bi tena hɔ wɛn no, a ɛma ɛbɛn wo. Wonyɛ nkate no ho adwuma. Wopark no a engine no da so reyɛ adwuma.
Kaahyɛmu de nkate no sie, ɛnyɛ ne ka no
Ɛboa sɛ wobɛtetew nneɛma abien a wɔde fra mu mu. Baako ne nea wote nka wɔ mu. Nea aka no ne nea wokyerɛ wɔ abɔnten. Adwene ho nimdefo frɛ ɔkwan a wode kura anim a ɛyɛ komm bere a ahum no da so kɔ so wɔ ase no "expressive suppression." Woredi nea wode kyerɛ no so, ɛnyɛ nkate no.
Na ɛno ne afiri no. Nhwehwɛmu a ɛde nnipa hyɛ adwenehaw ase na ɛka kyerɛ wɔn sɛ wɔmfa wɔn nyɛeɛ nhintaw no hu sɛ nipadua no nnya nkrasɛm no. Abɔnten nsɛnkyerɛnne no yɛ komm bere a emu da so sɔ, ɛtɔ mmere bi a esɔ kɛse sen kan. Wʼanim ka sɛ ɛyɛ. Wo koma a ɛbɔ, wʼadwenehaw aduru, wo mma a ayɛ den ka asɛm foforo.
Yɛ saa pii a, ɛboa ano. Nnipa a wɔde wɔn ho to kaahyɛmu so sɛ wɔn ɔkwan titiriw a wɔfa so gyina ano taa ka sɛ wɔwɔ ehu ne adwene a asɛe pii bere kɔ so, na nea eye no nso sua. Kaahyɛmu yɛ ɔkwan a ehwie. Ɛma nkate a emu yɛ den no yɛ kakra na nea ɛyɛ hyew no kɛse, na ɛno nti na nnipa a wɔde wɔn ho hyɛ biribiara mu no taa ka sɛ wɔte nka sɛ nneɛma yɛ pɛpɛ ɔkwan a ɛyɛ nwonwa so, ɛnyɛ asomdwoe.
Adɛn nti na "fa wo ho hyɛ mu kɔ so ara" brɛ wo
Dwen nea ɛsɛ sɛ wode kura kaa no so ankasa ho. Adwene. Mmɔdenbɔ. Wo ho a wohwɛ a ɛkɔ so akyiri komm. Ɛno yɛ ahoɔden a worebɔ sɛ wode biribi behintaw sen sɛ wode bedi nkɔmmɔ no, adwuma no, anaa onipa a ɔwɔ wʼanim no ho dwuma.
Eyi yɛ fã a enti a kaahyɛmu taa pue wɔ nipadua mu ansa na apue sɛ nkate a wɔabɔ din. Ti ya a ɛfi ɔhaw. Apantan a akra bere a awia adu no. Nna a engye home koraa. Bobɔw a ɛyɛ koko mu a ɛnna adi yiye. Eyinom mu biara nyɛ biribiara ho adanse ne ankasa, nanso ɛyɛ nhyehyɛe a wonim: nkate a woampene sɛ wubedi ho dwuma no nya akyi kwan.
Eyinom mu biara nkyerɛ sɛ ɛsɛ sɛ wode nkate biara pue simma a ɛba no. Botae no nyɛ sɛ wodi so kakra. Ɛyɛ ɔdi so ahorow foforo, nea ɛma nkate tena hɔ kosi sɛ ɛbɛka biribi akyerɛ wo, sen sɛ wo ne no bɛko ɔkwan no nyinaa.
Nea ɛsɛ sɛ woyɛ mmom
Nea ɛsi kaahyɛmu ananmu nyɛ sɛ wuhwie ne nyinaa pram. Ɛyɛ sɛ wobɛma nkate no kwan kakra ne ho adwuma kakra. Akwan kakra a egyina yiye:
- Bɔ no din, komm. Fa nsɛm to nea wote nka so, wʼadwene mu mpo. "Eyi yɛ abufuw." "Ɛno yɛɛ ya." "Misuro Yawda ho." Sɛ wobɔ nkate din a, ɛtaa yi mframa fi mu kakra. Wonne no nko. Woregye atom sɛ ɛwɔ hɔ, a ɛno ne kaahyɛmu abira.
- Sesa frame no, ɛnyɛ anim no. Sen sɛ wode nyɛe no behintaw no, hwɛ nea ɛkanyan no bio. Kenkan foforo bi wɔ nea aba yi ho anaa? Wo yɔnko adwumayɛfo bo fuwii esiane wo nti anaa esiane sɛ ne anɔpa asɛe nti? Saa nsakrae yi, a wɔtaa frɛ no reappraisal no, taa yɛ nea kaahyɛmu de boapayɛ kyerɛ sɛ ɔreyɛ no: ɛtew anibere no ano ankasa, na ɛnsɛe wo nkate pa sɛ nea efi mu ba.
- Kyerɛw to fam. Nhwehwɛmu a egyina pintinn wɔ hɔ, emu pii fi adwene ho nimdefo James Pennebaker hɔ, sɛ simma dunum anaa aduonu a wode kyerɛw nokware fa osuahu a emu yɛ den ho betumi aboa. Ɛnyɛ daa krataa a ahyehyɛ yiye, wʼadwene ne wo nkate ankasa wɔ krataa no so kɛkɛ. Nnipa a wɔyɛ eyi akyerɛ nkɔsoɔ a wobetumi asusuw, a dɔkota nkyɛn kɔ kakra wɔ asram a edi akyi mu ka ho. Adwumayɛ no ne sɛ wobɛhwehwɛ mu ankasa, ɛnyɛ sɛ wobɛsan abɔ anwiinwii koro no ara, efisɛ sɛ wosan ka asɛm koro no ara ɔkwan koro no ara so a, ɛyɛ rumination a pɛn ka ho kɛkɛ.
- Ma ɛnfa wo nipadua mu nkɔ. Nkate yɛ nipadua de. Ɛtɔ mmere bi a ɔkwan a ɛyɛ ntɛm sɛ wode bɛyi ano den no yɛ ahome a wode pue brɛoo, nantewee tiawa, anaa wo nsa a wowosow, sen sɛ wobɛsan adwen ho bio.
- Yi wo bere, boapa. "Ɛnyɛ seesei" yɛ gyinae a eye koraa wɔ nhyiamu mfinimfini. Nsonsonoe a ɛda nea ɛyɛ apɔw ne nea ɛyɛ bɔne ntam ne sɛ "ɛnyɛ seesei" ne "akyiri yi" bom anaa. Park nkate no, na san ba ho bere a wonya simma ne kokoam kakra.
Wonhia ne nyinaa anum. Nnipa dodow no ara hu baako anaa abien a ɛfata wɔn na wɔde wɔn ho to so.
Kɔkɔbɔ a ɛyɛ pɛpɛ
Kaahyɛmu nyɛ otirimɔdenfo. Sɛ wokyere wo ho mu kakra sɛnea wubetumi atra ayie, ɔkasa, anaa nkitahodi a ɛyɛ den a wo ne onipa a ne ho yɛ den di no yɛ nimdeɛ a ɛyɛ pɛ na mfaso wɔ so. Sɛ woyi bere ne baabi a wobɛte biribi nka no yɛ ɔpanyin a ɔyɛ adwuma fã. Ɔhaw no fi sɛ woyɛ no wʼadwinnade koro no, sɛ wode kura kaa no so nnawɔtwe anaa mfe kosi sɛ wahwere nea ɛwɔ ase no.
Sɛ wokenkan eyi nyinaa na wuhuu wo ho a, fa brɛoo. Yɛn mu dodow no ara suaa kaahyɛmu esiane ntease pa nti, mpɛn pii esiane sɛ baabi wɔ kwan no so no, na nkate akɛse yɛ ahobammɔ ho asɛm sɛ wɔbɛkyerɛ. Sɛ woresua sɛ worenyɛ saa bio a, ɛyɛ brɛoo, na ɛnnam ahoɔden so mma.
Bere a ɛsɛ sɛ wofa mmoa pii
Ɛtɔ mmere bi a nkate yɛ kɛse a wo nko ara wuntumi nni ho dwuma, na ɛno nyɛ ahoɔden a edii nkogu. Sɛ wo ho ayɛ komm anaa woabrɛ nnawɔtwe pii, sɛ ɛte sɛ nea wuntumi nnu wo nkate ho koraa, sɛ tete osuahu kɔ so pue wɔ akwan a wuntumi nsiesie, anaa sɛ biribiara te sɛ nea ɛdɔɔso dodo a, ɛno yɛ ntease pa sɛ wo ne dɔkota anaa adwene ho ɔhwɛfo bɛkasa. Onimdefo betumi aboa wo ama woanya baabi ama nea woakura, wɔ ahoɔhare a ɛyɛ ahobammɔ. Enhia sɛ wotwɛn kosi sɛ ɛbɛyɛ nea wuntumi nnyina ano ansa na woabisa. Sɛ wofa mmoa ntɛm yɛ nneɛma a ɛyɛ ayamye ne nea mfaso wɔ so a wubetumi ayɛ ama wo ho no baako.
Nkate a worekwati no ho ntumi nyɛ hu sɛ ɔkwati no ankasa. Nkate dodow no ara, sɛ wonya mframa kakra ne bere kakra a, yɛ mmerɛw na ɛkɔ so. Mpɛn pii wɔpɛ sɛ wote wɔn nka, bere tiaa bi, na afei woagyae mu.
Nea efi
- American Psychological Association, Suppressing the 'white bears'
- American Psychological Association, Expressive writing can help your mental health
- National Library of Medicine (PMC), Reappraisal and suppression emotion-regulation tendencies differentially predict reward-responsivity and psychological well-being