Amathiphu asheshayo
- Thulisa ingxoxo ngezikhathi zomsebenzi.
- Gcina izinhlelo zakho nabangane bakho.
- Yisho ijubane olidingayo ngokuzwakalayo.
Ngokuvamile kuqala ngefoni yakho. Uyibheka ngaphezu kwalokho ongakuvuma. Umbhalo ungena bese isimo sakho sonke siphakama; igebe ngaphambi kolandelayo likususa buthulele okuthile. Uhlela kabusha isonto lakho ngomuntu ohlangane naye enyangeni edlule. Usutshele umngane wakho oseduze ukuthi angahle abe nguye, futhi izwi elincane, elinengqondo emuva kwekhanda lakho libuza ukuthi ungazi kanjani lokho okwamanje.
Cishe awukwazi ukwazi okwamanje. Lokho akulona ukudelela wena, futhi akulona ukudelela bona. Kusesekuseni nje. Imizwa inomsindo njengamanje ngezizathu ezingahlangene nokuthi lo muntu ngempela ulungele impilo yakho yini.
Ngakho umbuzo ofanele ukuhlala nawo akukhona ukuthi uzwe kancane yini. Kuwukuthi ungakwazi yini ukugcina ukufudumala uyeke ukubamba ngamandla. Ungakwazi. Futhi ukunciphisa ijubane, kwenziwe kahle, kuvame ukwenza uxhumano lube namandla, hhayi ukuba buthaka.
Kungani konke kuzwakala kuphuthuma kangaka
Ukukhangwa okusha kukhukhumeza uhlelo lwakho. Amasekethe omvuzo obuchopho bakho, wona kanye amshini owenza noma yini emnandi ibonakale ifanele ukujahwa, avuseleleka ngalo muntu. Yilapho amandla avela khona, ukujabula, ukulahlekelwa ubuthongo, indlela ophinda ngayo yonke ingxoxo. Umzimba wakho uwuphatha njengomvuzo owufuna kanzima ukuwunqoba.
Kukhona igama lenguqulo esindayo yalokhu, lapho ukufisa kugudluka kuye ekugxileni okweqile. Odokotela bakubiza nge-limerence. I-Cleveland Clinic ikuchaza njengokugxila okuqinile, okuvame ukungahleleki komunye umuntu, lapho udliwa umuzwa noma ngabe uyawuthanda noma cha. Izimpawu zijwayelekile kunoma ubani oke waba lapho: imicabango yokugxila, ukushintshashintsha phakathi kwenjabulo nokwesaba, ukubheka ifoni yakho kaninginingi, ukulahlekelwa inkanuko yakho noma ubuthongo bakho, ukubumba kabusha usuku lwakho ngazo zonke izimpawu zokunaka kwabo.
Nakhu okubaluleke kakhulu. Kuleso simo, awuxhumene ngempela nomuntu. Uxhumene nombono wabo. Ukukhanga kokuqala kuza nohlobo lwehalo, lapho bebonakala bengenaphutha wena ugcwalisa buthulele konke ongakwazi ngokuqagela okuhle kunakho konke. Izinto ezincane ezingahambelani zichazwa zisuke. Lokho akulona iphutha lobuntu. Yindlela ubuchopho othando olusha lubusebenza. Kodwa kusho ukuthi umuntu owela othandweni lwakhe, njengamanje, uyingxenye umuntu owuqambile.
Lokho akwenzi uxhumano lube ngamanga. Kusho ukuthi alukapheleli. Awukahlangani nomuntu wonke, inguqulo ekhathele, inguqulo ecindezelekile, engabhekana nokudumala ngendlela ongeke uyithande. Isikhathi kuphela into ekwethula kubo.
I-limerence nothando akufani
Kulula ukuphambanisa amandla nokujula. Kuzwakala kufana ngaphakathi, kodwa kuziphatha ngokwahluke kakhulu.
I-limerence igijima ngovalo. Kuyinhliziyo esheshayo, ukuhlaziya njalo, ukwesaba ukuthi umnyakazo owodwa ongalungile uqeda konke. Uthando, uhlobo oluzinzile, luzwakala ngokwehlukile. Lufudumele lukhuthaza, kunjalo, kodwa luphinde lukuvumele uphefumule. Ungaba kude ungahlakazeki. Ungabiza ukukhathazeka ngokuzwakalayo esikhundleni sokukugwinya ukuze ugcine ukuthula.
Iqiniso elilodwa elinzima ovela ocwaningweni lifanele ukushiwo ngokusobala: inguqulo yokugxila ivame ukudinga ukuphola ngaphambi kokuba into yangempela ikwazi ukukhula. Umbhedazo nomuntu wangempela abakwazi ukuhlala esikhaleni esisodwa. Ngakho ukunciphisa ijubane akukhona ukona uthando olukhulu. Kuwukunika uthando lwangempela indawo yokuvela.
Ukuthi "okusheshayo kakhulu" kubukeka kanjani ngokuvamile
Ayikho ithayimlayini yomhlaba wonke, futhi ungavumeli muntu akudayisele eyodwa. Abantu ababili abanyakaza ngokushesha ndawonye, ngejubane elilodwa, ngokuzikhethela, bangaphila kahle ngempela. Inkinga iqala ezindaweni ezimbalwa ezithize:
- Omunye wenu uyagijima omunye akagijimi. Uma ijubane lingalingani, umuntu osheshayo uzizwa enovalo onensayo uzizwa egxishwe. Lowo mahluko, uma ungashiwo, ushaya buthulele izinto.
- Isimo sakho sonke sengqondo manje siphila ezandleni zabo. Uphakeme lapho bethumela, ususiwe lapho bengathumeli, futhi abangane bakho, ubuthongo bakho, umsebenzi wakho konke sekufiphele kancane.
- Uzibophezela enguqulweni yabo ongakahlangani nayo, ukhuluma ngokuthuthela ndawonye noma ngonaphakade ngaphambi kokubona ukuthi babhekana kanjani nesonto elibi.
- Uziba "hm" othule. Okuthile kuzwakala kungalungile futhi uziphambanisa kukho ngoba ukuphakama kumnandi kakhulu.
Uma ezimbalwa zalezi zishaya, awuphukile futhi ubudlelwano abubhujiswanga. Nje uhamba ngokushesha kunolwazi lwakho.
Ukwehla ngokushesha ngaphandle kokuqanda
Ukunciphisa ijubane kuthola idumela elibi, sengathi kusho ukudlala imidlalo noma ukuzenzisa ukukhathala kancane kunalokho okwenzayo. Kuphambene. Kuwukukhathala ngokwanele ukufuna into yangempela kunokuphuthuma. Ezinye izinto ezisiza ngempela:
Gcina impilo yakho iqhubeka
Umnyakazo owodwa ovikelayo kakhulu uphinde ube lula kunazo zonke. Ungakhanseli abangane bakho. Ungayeki isipho. Ungavumeli ijimu, iphrojekthi eseceleni, isidlo esimisiwe kunyamalale buthulele. Uma umuzwa wakho wonke wenhlalakahle udlula komunye umuntu omusha, ukuthula okuncane kubo konke kuba ukuzamazama komhlaba. Abelaphi abasebenza nabantu abawela kanzima nangokushesha bakhomba lokhu njalo: ukugcina ukuma kwakho yikho okukuvumela ukubona umuntu ngokucacile, ngoba awuphelelwe ngukubadinga bagcwalise wonke amakhala.
Beka isakhiwo esithile ekuxhumaneni
Uma uvuselela umbhalo usuku lonke, ukungena okungapheli kuphakela ukugxila. Akudingeki uthule. Ungengeza nje ukungqubuzana, njengokuvala izaziso ngesikhathi somsebenzi, noma ukungaphenduli phakathi kwemizuzwana eyishumi njalo. Iphuzu akukhona ukubukeka ungakhathali. Kuwukukhipha uhlelo lwakho lomzwelo esixwayisweni esiphezulu ukuze ukwazi ukucabanga ngempela.
Vumela isikhathi senze ukwembula
Ufunda ukuthi umuntu ungubani ngokubuka, hhayi ngokubuza. Ngabe abakushoyo kuyahambelana nabakwenzayo? Banjani lapho isu liwa, noma lapho ningavumelani, noma lapho becindezelekile bengaqaphile? Akukho kwalokho okuvela ngedeti yesithathu. Kuvela ngezinyanga, ezimweni ezehlukene. Ukulinganisa ijubane lobudlelwano ngempela kuwukuzinika isikhathi esanele sokuqoqa ulwazi lwangempela ngaphambi kokunikela inhliziyo yakho.
Yisho ijubane ngokuzwakalayo
Lokhu kuzwakala kusengozini, okuyisona kanye isizathu sokusebenza kwakho. "Ngiyakuthanda ngempela, futhi ngifuna ukukuthatha lokhu ngejubane lapho ngingahlala nginzinzile" kuyinto ecacile, enomusa yokusho. Indlela abaphendula ngayo ikutshela okuningi. Umuntu ozinzile uzoyihlonipha. Umuntu ophikisa kanzima, noma okwenza uzizwe sengathi ukufuna ukwehla ijubane kuwukwenqatshwa, ukubonisa okuthile okuwusizo kusenesikhathi.
Ba nokufisa ukwazi esikhundleni sokuqiniseka
Uma uzibamba ugcwalisa isikhala ngokuqagela okuhle, zama ukubuza umbuzo wangempela esikhundleni salokho. Hhayi umbuzo obukhali. Intshisekelo yangempela nje kulokho abayikho ngempela, ukuphikisana nezingxenye ezingajabulisi nakho konke. Ukufisa ukwazi yikho okuguqula umbhedazo ube umuntu.
Indlela emnene yokucabanga ngokwesaba
Iningi lejubane ngempela liwukwesaba okugqoke isembozo. Ukwesaba ukuthi uma ungakuvaleli manje, kuzoshelela. Ukwesaba ukuthi ukwehla ijubane kusho ukubalahlekelwa. Kwabanye abantu, ikakhulukazi noma ubani ovame ukuba novalo ngokusondelana, lokho kwesaba kungenza ukuhamba kancane kubonakale kucishe kungenzeki ngokomzimba.
Zama lokhu kubuka okusha. Uxhumano olungasinda kuphela ngokugijima aluzinzile. Uma ukwehla ijubane kwenza yonke into ibhidlike, ibigijima ngokushesha, hhayi ngesisekelo, futhi kungcono ukukufunda enyangeni yesibili kunonyakeni wesibili. Uxhumano olufanele ukugcinwa aluhlakazeki uma uthatha umoya. Luyazinza.
Ukuhamba kancane akulona inketho ecophelelayo, engenanjabulo. Kuyindlela onika ngayo into ithuba lokuba yiyona ngempela.
Lapho kufanele ukuthola usizo olwengeziwe
Ngezinye izikhathi iphethini inkulu kunanoma yibuphi ubudlelwano obubodwa. Uma uzithola uwela kanzima, ngokushesha, kaninginingi, futhi kuqhubeka kuphela ngendlela efanayo ebuhlungu, lokho kufanele ukuqondwa, hhayi nje ukuqinisela kudlule kukho. Kuyafana uma ukucabanga okugxilayo kuphazamisa ngempela umsebenzi wakho, ubuthongo bakho, noma ubungane bakho, noma uma ubudlelwano bukushiya uzizwa umncane, unovalo olwengeziwe, noma ungaqiniseki ngeqiniso lakho. Umelaphi omuhle angakusiza ukubona okuqhuba lo mvuselelo akhe okuthile okuzinze ngaphansi kwawo. Ukwelashwa ngokukhuluma, kuhlanganise nezindlela zengqondo nezokuziphatha, kulungele lokhu kanye. Ukufinyelela olo sizo akulona uphawu lokuthi awulungile othandweni. Kuwuphawu lokuthi uthatha inhliziyo yakho ngokungathi sína.
Imithombo
- Cleveland Clinic, Limerence vs. Love: What's the Difference?
- Cleveland Clinic, What Is Limerence? Causes, Signs and How To Stop
- Therapy Cincinnati, Anxious Attachment Dating: Why Going Slow Works