Amathiphu asheshayo
- Thumela ingoma noma i-meme ekukhumbuze bona.
- Fonela umngane ngenkathi uhamba noma usonga izimpahla.
- Vikela umyalezo owodwa omisiwe noma ucingo isonto ngalinye.
Kukhona uhlobo oluthize lomuzwa wecala oluvela cishe ngo-11 ebusuku. Uyaskrola, ucishe ulele, bese kuvela igama. Umngane obuhlose ukumfonela. Emasontweni amathathu edlule. Mhlawumbe izinyanga ezimbili. Ucabanga ngokuthumela umyalezo, bese ucabanga ukuthi sekuside kangakanani, bese igebe ngokwalo liqala ukuzwakala njengento obungayichaza. Ngakho awukwenzi. Ubeka ifoni phansi. Bese ukuthula kuba nosuku olulodwa olude.
Yiyo indlela ubungane obuningi obushabalala ngayo. Hhayi ekuxabaneni. Ekunqwabelaneni okuhamba kancane kwezinto ezicishe zenzeka.
Uma usesikhathini esinjalo njengamanje, umsebenzi omusha, ingane, umzali ogulayo, ukuthutha, isikhathi lapho ucishe ungakwazi ukuzondla, lokhu okwakho. Umgomo lapha akukona ukuba umngane ongcono ngendlela ethile engabambeki, efiselekayo. Kuncane kakhulu. Ukugcina ukuxhumana okumbalwa okuhle kungacimi buthule ngenkathi umatasa uyasinda.
Kungani ubungane kuyinto yokuqala eshelelayo
Cabanga ngokuthi ubani onelungelo esikhathini sakho. Umsebenzi wakho uzokuthumelela i-imeyili. Izingane zakho zizokuthola. Umninindlu wakho, ibhokisi lakho lemeyili, umzimba wakho uma ugula, konke lokhu kuza nama-alamu akhelwe ngaphakathi akhala noma uyakunakekela noma cha.
Ubungane abunayo i-alamu. Akekho ofeyilayo ikilasi ngoba ungabathumelanga umyalezo. Ayikho imali yokwephuza. Ubungane obuhle bunesineke futhi buyathethelela, okuyiko kanye okwenza kube lula ukububeka bugcine, isonto ngesonto, kuze kuthi "ekugcineni" kuthule kube "soze."
Izindleko zalokho zingokwangempela, ngisho noma kungabonakali usuku nosuku. I-Harvard Study of Adult Development ilandele iqembu elifanayo labantu iminyaka engaphezu kwengamashumi ayisishiyagalombili, futhi okutholakele kwayo okucace kakhulu cishe kulula ngenkani: abantu abahlala benempilo nabajabule kakhulu baze bafike ekugugeni yilabo abanobudlelwano obufudumele. Hhayi abacebe kakhulu. Hhayi abaphumelele kakhulu. Abaqondisi balolo cwaningo bakubeke ngokusobala: ukuba wedwa, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, kunzima emzimbeni njengokubhema. Ubungane bakho abukona okunethezekile ozobuyela kukho. Buseduze nophawu olubalulekile lwempilo.
Indlela emnene yokucabanga "ngokuhlala uxhumene"
Abantu abaningi bathwele izinga elithulile, elijezisayo lokuthi umngane omuhle wenzani. Izingcingo ezinde. Ukukhumbula usuku ngalunye lokuzalwa. Ukutholakala ngokuphelele. Uma kulinganiswa nalokho, wena-osesikhathini-esimatasa uhlala uyahluleka, ngakho kulula ukugwema yonke into kunokubhekana nebhodi lamaphuzu.
Yeka ibhodi lamaphuzu. Ubungane abugcinwa buphila ngezenzo ezinkulu. Bugcinwa buphila ngezimpawu ezincane, ezingadingi umzamo omkhulu ezithi *usasengqondweni yami* kaningi ngokwanele ukuze intambo ingalokothi iqamuke ngokuphelele. Umgoqo uphansi kakhulu kunalokho okucabangayo, futhi abantu abakuthandayo abakuniki amamaki.
Nansi ingxenye eduduzayo, enezinombolo zangempela ngemuva kwayo. Umcwaningi wase-University of Kansas, uJeffrey Hall, wafunda ukuthi ubungane bakheka kanjani wathola ukuthi kuthatha cishe amahora angamakhulu amabili esikhathi ndawonye ukwakha umngane osondelene ekuqaleni. Lokho kuzwakala kwesabisa, kuze kube uyakuphendula. Ubungane osuchithe amakhulu amahora uwakha bunezimpande ezijulile. Bungasinda esikhathini esomile. Awuqali kusukela kokungenalutho nomngane omdala. Unakekela into esivele iqinile, futhi lokho kuthatha okuncane kakhulu kunokwakha kwakhona.
Izinyathelo ezincane ezibamba ngempela ubungane ndawonye
Lezi zakhelwe abantu abangenaso isikhathi esiseleyo. Akukho nokukodwa kwazo okudinga ubusuku obukhululekile.
- Thumela uphawu olungadingi mzamo omkhulu. I-meme, ingoma, isithombe sento ekukhumbuze bona, inothi lezwi elinemigqa emibili uphuma emotweni. Iphethe cishe akukho ulwazi kodwa inhloso enkulu kakhulu: bengicabanga ngawe. Yilowo wonke umsebenzi. Awukweleti isigaba.
- Qamba igebe esikhundleni sokulicashela. Into ekugcina uthule ngokuvamile ukungakhululeki kokuthi sekuside kangakanani. Ngakho kusho ngokusobala. "Bengigqunyelwe futhi ngiyakukhumbula" kukhulula yonke into ngomusho owodwa. Abangane bangempela abafuni isixolo. Bafuna ukuzwa ngawe.
- Beka ubungane phezu kwento osuvele uyenza. Thatha uhambo oludingayo noma kunjalo, kodwa usocingweni nomngane. Songa izimpahla ngenkathi nixoxa. Mema umuntu esitolo sokudla. Ukuxhumana akudingi isikhala saso esihlukile osukwini. Kungagibela nawe.
- Yehlisa umgoqo wokuthi yini ebalwa njengokubabona. Ikhofi lemizuzu eyishumi nanhlanu liyabalwa. Umsebenzi omncane owabelwene ngawo uyabalwa. Akudingeki usingathe isidlo sakusihlwa. I-NHS, esiqondisweni sayo somphakathi ngokuba wedwa, ikhomba ncamashi lezi zenzo ezincane, umyalezo osheshayo, uhambo, inkomishi yetiye, njengezinto ezidonsa abantu ngempela babuyele komunye nomunye.
- Yenza into eyodwa izenzakalele. Khetha isigqi esisodwa esiphindaphindayo, umyalezo wangeSonto, ucingo lwanyanga zonke nomuntu oyedwa, uhambo olumisiwe, bese uluvikela ngendlela ongavikela ngayo isikhathi sokubonana nodokotela. Isigqi esisodwa esithembekile sibamba ubungane kangcono kunezinhloso eziyishumi ezisuka enhliziyweni ezingenzeki.
Uma nguwe olahliwe
Ngezinye izikhathi akuwena omatasa. Nguwe obhekile othini oluphenduke lubanda, uzibuza ukuthi ngabe wenze okuthile okungalungile.
Ngokuvamile awenzanga. Ukuthula okuningi kumayelana namandla omunye umuntu, hhayi imizwa yabo ngawe. Abantu ezikhathini ezinzima bavame ukuhoxa kubo bonke, bese bezizwa benamahloni kakhulu ngebanga ukuze bafinyelele emuva kulo. Uma umngane ethule, inothi elifushane, elingenacindezi lingaba yisipho sangempela: "Akudingeki uphendule, ngicabanga nje ngawe futhi ngethemba ukuthi usaphila kahle." Ubanika umnyango olula ukungena kuwo, ongenasikweletu esinamathisiwe.
Futhi kufanele uzivikele nawe. Uma uhlale nguwe ofinyelelayo, futhi kungabikho okubuyayo isikhathi eside, uvunyelwe ukuzwa izindleko zalokho nokuchitha amandla akho amancane lapho ehlangatshezwa khona. Ukunakekela ubungane kunesandla esivulekile. Ukunakekela umgwaqo onhlangothi lunye uze uphelelwe yinto ehlukile.
Uma kusinda kunesikhathi esimatasa
Kukhona umehluko phakathi kuka *ngiminyene futhi angikwazi kahle ukuthumela imiyalezo* no *angikwazi ukuzenza ngifinyelele kunoma ubani, futhi angikaze ngikwenze isikhashana.*
Uma ukuxhumana nabantu sekuqale ukuzwakala kungenzeki, uma ubulokhu uhoxa kubo bonke, uma ukuba wedwa sekuguqukele entweni ehlala esifubeni sakho izinsuku eziningi, lokho kufanele kuphathwe njengokungaphezu kwenkinga yokuhlela isikhathi. Ukuzihlukanisa okuqhubekayo nomoya ophansi osinda, ohlalayo kungaba yizimpawu zokucindezeleka, futhi lokho akuyona into obekumele uyilungise wedwa ngokuthumela ama-meme amaningi. Udokotela noma udokotela wengqondo angasiza, futhi ukufinyelela kulolo hlobo losizo kungenye yezinto ezizihloniphayo umuntu angazenza. Uma izinto zike zazwakala zingaphephile ngempela noma zingabekezeleleki, sicela ungalindi, khuluma nomuntu namuhla.
Kubo bonke abanye, ekuminyaneni okujwayelekile kwenyanga enzima, bambelela eqinisweni elincane ngaphansi kwakho konke lokhu. Umngane olokhu uhlose ukumthumelela umyalezo cishe ngokuqinisekile akabali amaphuzu. Bamane bethemba ukuzwa ngawe. Igebe lizwakala likhulu ngaphakathi ekhanda lakho kunalokho likhona kwelabo. Umyalezo owodwa omfushane namuhla kusihlwa ngokuvamile yikho konke okudingekayo ukuze uthole lokho.
Imithombo
- Harvard Gazette, Over nearly 80 years, Harvard study has been showing how to live a healthy and happy life
- University of Kansas, Study reveals number of hours it takes to make a friend
- NHS, Loneliness - Every Mind Matters