Amathiphu asheshayo
- Tshela umuntu oyedwa ophephile ukuthi ube uzizwa wedwa.
- Yeka inguqulo ecwebezelayo, wabelane ngento eyodwa yangempela.
- Yakha ukuhamba okumile okuzungeze umsebenzi enihlanganyela kuwo.
Ngokuvamile kufika ngesikhathi esixakayo. Hhayi lapho usekhaya uwedwa ngoLwesibili, kodwa maphakathi nephathi, noma esidlweni somndeni lapho wonke umuntu ehleka, noma emhlanganweni ogcwele abantu obaziyo iminyaka. Igumbi lifudumele futhi linomsindo futhi ligcwele. Kanti ndawana thile ngaphansi kokumamatheka kwakho okunenhlonipho, umcabango omncane osathe: akekho kulaba bantu ongazi ngempela.
Uma uke wazwa lokho, awuphukile futhi awungabongi. Uvele wagxumeka kwelinye lamaqiniso axakayo ngokuba umuntu. Ukuba seduze kwabantu nokuzizwa uxhumene nabo kuyizinto ezimbili ezehlukene, futhi azihambisani njalo.
Kungani igumbi eligcwele lisengazizwa lize
Kunamagama amabili azwakala engokufanayo kanti akunjalo. Ukuhlukaniswa nomphakathi kumayelana nesibalo, bangaki abantu abasempilweni yakho, ubona kangaki. Ukuba wedwa kumayelana nomuzwa, ukuthi ukuxhumana onakho kuyafika yini ngempela. Ungaba nabantu abambalwa kakhulu bese uzizwa ubanjwe ngokujulile yibo. Ungaba nekhalenda eligcwele bese uzizwa sengathi ubukela impilo yakho ngengilazi.
Odokotela bawudweba lo mugqa ngamabomu. Njengoba i-Cleveland Clinic ikubeka, ukuba wedwa kumayelana nendlela obona ngayo izinga lakho lokuxhumana, okuyisizathu sokuthi umuntu angazizwa ewedwa ngisho azungezwe abantu. Inani lemizimba egumbini alizange libe yisilinganiso. Isilinganiso ukuthi uzizwa ubonwa yini noma yimuphi kubo.
Yingakho futhi kungashaya kakhulu lapho unabantu. Uma uwedwa ngempela, umuzwa unengqondo futhi ungazichazela wona. Uma uzizwa uwedwa esixukwini, kukhona okunye ukuhlaba phezu kokokuqala: wonke umuntu ubukeka ephilile, ukuxhumana kubukeka kutholakala, kodwa usangeke ukuzwe. Ngakho uqala ukuzibuza ukuthi yini engalungile ngawe.
Akukho okungalungile ngawe. Lokho okuvame ukushoda akubona abantu. Uhlobo oluthile lokuxhumana.
Umehluko phakathi kokuba seduze komuntu nokuhlangabezwa
Cabanga ngezingxoxo ezikushiya ngempela uzizwa ungasewedwa kangako. Zivame ukuba nento eyodwa efanayo: ndawana thile kuzo, ubuqotho, kanti omunye umuntu wahlala. Washo into eyiqiniso kancane esikhundleni sento ebushelezi, kanti abazange bathukuthele noma bashintshe isihloko. Bakuqonda. Wazizwa, umzuzu, sengathi umuntu oyiye ekhaya ngentambama ethule wamukelekile egumbini.
Ukusebenzelana kwansuku zonke okuningi akukwenzi lokho, futhi akufanele. Ingxoxo nomenzi wekhofi, umhlangano womsebenzi wokuma, indaba yeqembu ngezinhlelo zempelasonto, lokhu kuyizicubu ezixhumanisayo zempilo, futhi kubalulekile. Kodwa kuhamba phezulu. Uma *konke* ukuxhumana kwakho kuhamba phezulu, uma kungekho muntu ovumela ukuba abone ngaphansi, phezulu kuqala ukuzwakala njengefilimu obhajwe emuva kwayo.
Ukuba wedwa esixukwini kuvame ukuba yilelo gebe kanye. Ukuxhumana okuningi. Okuncane kakhulu kwako okukufinyelelayo.
Kuyasiza ukwazi ukuthi lokhu kuvamile, akuyona into engavamile. I-U.S. Surgeon General yakhipha isexwayiso sikazwelonke ngo-2023 sibiza ukuba wedwa nokuhlukaniswa ngokuthi kuyinkinga yezempilo yomphakathi, kanti isibalo esingaphansi kwaso siyamangaza: cishe uhhafu wabantu abadala base-US babika ukuzwa ukuba wedwa. Uhhafu. Igumbi eligcwele lapho uzizwa ungafinyeleleki khona ligcwele ngokuthulile abanye abantu abazizwa ngendlela efanayo ncamashi becabanga ukuthi bayibo bodwa.
Kungani lokhu kufanele ukubhekwa njengento ebalulekile
Kungaba lula ukufaka lokhu ngaphansi "komuzwa" bese uphumelela phakathi. Kungaphezu komuzwa. Umzimba ugcina irekhodi.
Uma ukuba wedwa sekungapheli, isistimu yakho yokucindezeleka ihlala ivuliwe. I-Cleveland Clinic iphawula ukuthi ukuba wedwa okuqhubekayo kukhuphula amazinga akho e-cortisol, ihomoni yokucindezeleka, futhi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi lokho kuguga inhliziyo yakho, isistimu yakho yokuzivikela komzimba, nobuthongo bakho. Ucwaningo lwezempilo yomphakathi luqhubekela phambili: ukuba wedwa nokuhlukaniswa okungapheli kuxhumene nengozi enkulu yesifo senhliziyo nesifo sohlangothi, nengozi yokushona kusenesikhathi abanye abacwaningi abayiqhathanise nomonakalo wokubhema.
Akukho kwalokho okuhloselwe ukukwethusa. Kuhloselwe ukukunika imvume. Uma ube uphatha lo muzwa njengenkinga yobumnandi, into okumele uyibe namahloni ngayo, akunjalo. Kuwuphawu lwangempela oluvela emzimbeni owakhelwe ukudinga abanye abantu. Indlala ikutshela ukuthi udle. Ukuba wedwa kuzama ukukutshela into eyisisekelo ngokufanayo.
Yini evame ukusiza
Umuzwa wemvelo, uma uzizwa ngale ndlela esixukwini, ukwengeza isixuku esengeziwe. Imincimbi eminingi, izinhlelo eziningi, abantu abaningi. Kwesinye isikhathi lokho kusiza kancane. Ngokuvamile akuyithinti into yangempela, ngoba into yangempela akulona inani. Nangu lapho amandla akhona ngempela.
Yehla nge-intshi eyodwa nomuntu oyedwa, hhayi imayela ngokubanzi nawo wonke umuntu
Awudingi impilo yenhlalisano enkulu. Udinga ingxoxo eyodwa edlula isimo sezulu. Khetha umuntu oyedwa ozizwa ephephile ngisho kancane bese usho into eyodwa eyiqiniso, "ngeqiniso, bengiba nesizungu kamuva nje," noma "lo nyaka ube nzima kunalokho engikuvezile." Yilokho. Awuzivivinyeli ukuba umngane oseduze kunabo bonke. Uvivinya ukuthi ubuqotho buyaphila yini nalo muntu. Kaningi buyaphila, futhi kaningi baphefumula bakutshele ukuthi nabo bake bakuzwa.
Shintshanisa ukudlala indima ngokwaziwa kancane
Isizungu esiningi sasesixukwini sivela ekutheni ufike njengenguqulo ecwebezelayo, leyo engenazidingo enempendulo enhle kuyo yonke into. Leyo nguqulo iphephile futhi iphinde ibe nesizungu, ngoba akekho ongaxhumana nomdlalo. Awudingi ukuveza konke kwangaphakathi kwakho ngoLwesibili. Vumela nje imininingwane eyodwa yeqiniso idlule. Abantu baxhumana nomuntu, hhayi ne-highlight reel.
Landela ukwenza okuhlanganyelwe, hhayi nje ukukhuluma okuhlanganyelwe
Ukuxhumana kuvame ukukhula ngasohlangothini, ngomsebenzi ohlanganyelwe, kunokubhekana ngqo. Ukuhamba okumile nomakhelwane, ishifthi yokuvolontiya, ikilasi, iqembu. Isiqondiso se-Mayo Clinic ngokunciphisa isizungu sithambekela ngale ndlela ngesizathu: ukuxhumana okujwayelekile, okunengcindezi ephansi okwakhelwe umsebenzi kunika ubudlelwane indawo yokukhula ngaphandle kokugqama kokuthi "asichithe isikhathi sivule izimpilo zethu."
Qaphela umjikelezo osebenza engqondweni yakho
Ukuba wedwa kunephethini yokucabanga, futhi iyacashacasha. Ikutshela ukuthi ungumthwalo, ukuthi akekho ofuna ukukuzwa, ukuthi ukufinyelela kudabukisa. Ngakho uyahoxa, okwenza ube nesizungu esingaphezulu, okwenza imicabango ibe nomsindo. Uma uzibamba lapho, phatha leyo micabango njengezimpawu, hhayi amaqiniso. Izwi elithi "ungabakhathazi" isizungu esikhulumayo, futhi asiyena umlandi othembekile.
Nakekela ukuxhumana osunakho
Abantu abangakufinyelela bangase basempilweni yakho kakade, basphezulu nje nabo bonke. Awudingi njalo ukuthola abantu abasha. Kwesinye isikhathi uthatha isibopho esikhona bese usijulisa, umzala owubona ngamaholide kuphela, umngane wasemsebenzini okhuluma naye ngezomsebenzi kuphela, umngane omdala ohlala ubhekana nokumfonela. Ukuxhumana kanye kwangempela kungenza okungaphezu kwenyanga yeziqalo ezintsha.
Nini ukufinyelela okungaphezu komngane
Esinye isizungu siyasuka uma usuvula indawo engaphezulu kancane kuwe wangempela bese uvumela umuntu oyedwa noma ababili ukuba basondele. Esinye asisuki, futhi lokho kubalulekile ukukuthatha ngokungathi sína kunokuphumelela phakathi kwaso.
Uma ukungaxhumani kuye kwaba nawe izinyanga, uma kufika kusongwe ebunzimeni obenza kube nzima ukujabulela izinto obuzijabulela, uma ulala noma udla ngendlela ehluke kakhulu, uma usuqale ukuzizwa ungabalulekile noma ukuthi abantu bebengaba ngcono ngaphandle kwakho, sicela ukuphathe njengesizathu sokukhuluma nochwepheshe, hhayi isici sesimilo okumele usifihle. Udokotela noma udokotela wengqondo angasho umehluko phakathi kwesizungu esijwayelekile nokudangala okudinga ukunakekelwa, futhi bangasiza kokubili. Ukufinyelela kulokho akukhona ukudela ukuxhumana. Kungenye yezinhlobo zako zeqiniso kunazo zonke.
Igumbi okulo namuhla ebusuku lingase ligcwale abantu abazizwa ngendlela ozizwa ngayo ncamashi futhi beqinisekile ukuthi bayibo bodwa. Yilowo umusa oxakayo ofihlwe kokuthi lokhu kuvame kangakanani. Udonga oqhubeka ugxumeka kulo yilolo abantu abaningi abame ngemuva kwalo. Luyawa ngendlela efanayo kuwo wonke umuntu, umusho owodwa oyiqiniso ngesikhathi.
Imithombo
- Cleveland Clinic, How Loneliness Can Impact Your Health
- U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation: The U.S. Surgeon General's Advisory on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community
- CDC / NIOSH Science Bulletin, Social Connection and Worker Well-being
- Mayo Clinic News Network, Mayo Clinic Q and A: Does loneliness affect your health?