Amathiphu asheshayo
- Phatha amagama athi njalo nakanjani njengezimpawu zesixwayiso.
- Qala kabusha ngakusasa, hhayi ngoMsombuluko olandelayo.
- Zikhulume njengendlela obungakhuluma ngayo nomngane.
Uqala isonto ngezinhloso ezinhle. Uzohamba njalo ekuseni, udle kangcono, ekugcineni ulale ngesikhathi esifanele. UMsombuluko uhamba kahle. NoLwesibili futhi. Bese uLwesithathu uyakubalekela, weqe ukuhamba, udle into owathi awuyikwenza, bese kukhala izwi: yebo, lokho sekumoshekile. Kungcono nje ngiqale kabusha ngoMsombuluko.
Futhi kanjalo nje, usuyekile. Hhayi ngoba uhlelo belulubi. Ngenxa yendlela owazikhuluma ngayo ngokushibilika okukodwa okuvamile.
Yilena enye yezindlela ezivame kakhulu imikhuba enempilo efa ngayo. Hhayi ngokuwohloka okwesabekayo, kodwa ngosuku olulodwa oluphuthelwe onqume ukuthi lusho ukuthi wonke umzamo ubuwukwehluleka. Uma leyo phethini izwakala ijwayelekile, awubuthakathaka futhi awuyena umuntu ongaziqondisi ngokuhlukile. Umane ubanjwe yindlela yokucabanga cishe wonke umuntu awela kuyo.
Yini ngempela okwenzekayo
Iphethini inegama: umcabango wokuthi konke-noma-lutho. Odokotela bawubiza futhi ngokuthi umcabango omnyama-nomhlophe noma owehlukanisayo. Kuwukuhluma kokuqonda, ukugoba okubikezelekayo endleleni ingqondo ecubungula ngayo izinto, lapho konke kuwela kwelinye lamabhokisi amabili. Impumelelo ephelele noma ukwehluleka okuphelele. Usenqoleni noma uphumile kuyo. Okuphelele noma okungenanjongo. Akukho okuphakathi, noma cishe yonke impilo yangempela ihlala phakathi.
Impilo yilapho lokhu kugoba kwenza omunye umonakalo wako omubi kunayo yonke. Njengoba i-Psych Central iwuchaza, umcabango wokuthi konke-noma-lutho uxhumene nokukhathazeka, umoya ophansi, nohlobo lokufuna ukuphelela olukubekela ukuzizwa uhlulekile. Usetshenziswa emkhubeni, usebenza njengogibe. Uchaza impumelelo ngokuncane kakhulu, ungalokothi weqe, ungalokothi ushibilike, uhlale uphelelisa, ngendlela yokuthi ukushibilika kokuqala kufakazela ukuthi usuvele ulahlekelwe. Ngakho uyayeka.
Ubunzima obunonya ukuthi ukushibilika uqobo bekungeyona neze inkinga. Ukweqa uhambo olulodwa akwenzi cishe lutho empilweni yakho. Ukuyeka ngoba weqe uhambo olulodwa kwenza okuningi kakhulu. Ukugoba kuphendula i-blip encane ibe isizathu sokushiya yonke into.
Indaba ozixoxela yona ibaluleke kunokushibilika
Nansi ingxenye eshintsha konke uma usuyibonile. Abantu ababili beqe ukuzivocavoca kwangoLwesithathu okufanayo. Omunye ucabanga, *ngimoshe uchungechunge lwami, anginayo intando, kuyekele.* Omunye ucabanga, *Usuku olumatasa, ngizohamba kusasa.* Isenzakalo esifanayo. Umphumela ohluke kakhulu. Umuntu wokuqala uyayeka. Umuntu wesibili unomkhuba ngemva konyaka.
Umehluko bekungewona ukuzivocavoca okuphuthelwe. Bekungumusho ngamunye wabo awusho olandelayo.
Yingakho izwi elingaphakathi elinolaka lisebenza kabi. Sizitshela ukuthi ukuzishaya kusigcina emgqeni, ukuthi uma sizithethelela sizowohloka ngokuphelele. Ucwaningo lukhomba ngenye indlela. Umsebenzi wesazi sengqondo uKristin Neff, ofingqwe yi-University of Rochester Medical Center, wathola ukuthi abantu abaziphatha ngomusa abavamile ukukhathazeka nokucindezeleka, nokuthi uzwelo lomuntu kuye ngempela lwandisa ugqozi lokulungisa amaphutha kunokuwacashela. Ukuzigxeka akukwenzi uzame kakhulu. Kukwenza ufune ukuyeka.
Indlela yokuqhekeza iphethini
Awukulungisi lokhu ngokuzama ukuphelela ekungapheleleni. Ukulungisa ngokushintsha imikhuba embalwa yomcabango nesakhiwo. Zama lezi.
- Bamba amagama aphelele. Umcabango wokuthi konke-noma-lutho uncika emagameni afana *nokuthi njalo*, *nakanjani*, *kumoshekile*, *ngikubhedile*. Uma uzwa elilodwa ekhanda lakho, liphathe njengefulegi. Iqiniso cishe njalo lincane kunegama.
- Buka kabusha uye kokumpunga. Buyisela 'ngimoshe wonke umzamo wami wokudla' ngokuthize okuyiqiniso: 'Bengibe nesidlo esisodwa esikhulu, futhi isidlo sami esilandelayo singaba esijwayelekile.' Ukukhetha okukodwa akuchithi isonto. Ukubuka kabusha komcabango, ithuluzi eliyisisekelo ekwelashweni kokuziphatha ngokucabanga, kumane kuwumkhuba wokushintsha umcabango ogotshiwe ngonembayo.
- Qondisa ezinsukwini eziningi, hhayi zonke izinsuku. Yakha umgomo ukushibilika sekufakiwe. 'Hamba izinsuku eziningi ekuseni' kusinda uLwesithathu ophuthelwe. 'Hamba njalo ekuseni' kufa esimweni sokuqala esehlukile. Uhlelo olulindele ukungapheleli luhlelo ongalugcina ngempela.
- Yenza ukubuya kube yikhono langempela. Abantu abaphumelela emikhubeni akubona labo abangalokothi beqe. Yilabo abaqala kabusha ngokushesha, ngakusasa noma ngisho ngesidlo esilandelayo, ngaphandle kwesonto lokulinda uMsombuluko omusha. Zijwayeze ukuqala kabusha. Yiwo wonke umdlalo.
- Zikhulume njengomuntu omthandayo. Uma ushibilika, buza ukuthi ungathini kumngane omuhle osesimweni esifanayo. Ubungeke umtshele ukuthi akanathemba. Ubungamtshela ukuthi kulungile futhi uzobuyela kukho. Yisho lokho kuwe.
Inqubekela phambili akulona uchungechunge
Kuyasiza ukubona inqubekela phambili ngokwehlukile. Sivame ukucabanga umugqa ohlanzekile owenyukayo, futhi noma yikuphi ukwehla kuzwakala sengathi umugqa uphukile. Inqubekela phambili yangempela ibukeka njengokushweleza okuntweza kancane kuye phezulu ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Kuye phezulu ngezinye izinsuku, phansi ngezinye, kunokusonteka okuningi. Amasonto amathathu amahle enezinsuku ezimbili eziphuthelwe kusengamasonto amathathu amahle. Izinsuku eziphuthelwe azichithi umsebenzi. Zimane ziyingxenye yendlela noma yiluphi ushintsho lwangempela, olusimeme olubukeka ngayo.
Ngakho usuku oluphambene akusona isinqumo. LuwuLwesibili. Uzoba nolungcono maduze, futhi umkhuba, hhayi noma yiluphi usuku olulodwa, yiwo impilo yakho ephendula kuwo.
Uma iphethini ijula kakhulu
Kubantu abaningi, ukuxegisa ukubamba komcabango wokuthi konke-noma-lutho into ongazijwayeza wedwa, kancane kancane. Kodwa ngezinye izikhathi lolu hlobo lomcabango luxutshwe nokuthize okusindayo, ukukhathazeka okuqhubekayo, ukucindezeleka, ukufuna ukuphelela okunolaka, noma ubudlelwane obunzima nokudla noma nomzimba wakho. Uma lokho kuzwakala kuyiqiniso, noma uma akukho ukuzikhuluma okubukeka kuthambisa umgxeki ongaphakathi, yisizathu esihle sokukhuluma nodokotela wengqondo. Ukwelashwa kokuziphatha ngokucabanga kwakhelwe ncamashi ukubona nokulungisa lezi phethini, futhi akudingeki ukukuxazulule wedwa.
Ngokulandelayo uma uLwesithathu ukubalekela, bheka ukuthi ungawuvumela yini umane ube uLwesithathu. Uhambo lusekhona ngoLwesine. Nawe usekhona.
Imithombo
- Psych Central, All-or-Nothing Thinking: Examples, Effects, and How to Manage It
- University of Rochester Medical Center, Self-Compassion and Your Mental Health
- CDC, Benefits of Physical Activity