Uma usenkingeni noma ucabanga ukuzilimaza, awuwedwa. E-USA, shayela ucingo noma uthumele umlayezo ku-988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, imini nobusuku), thumela u-HOME ku-741741 (Crisis Text Line), noma ushayele u-911 engozini esheshayo.
Amathiphu asheshayo
- Lalela kuqala, bambelela iseluleko okwamanje.
- Ngokuthula benzele umsebenzi owodwa omncane.
- Gcina intambo eyodwa yempilo yakho iphila.
Cishe usuvele ufunde isifundo esinzima kunazo zonke kulokhu, esithi uthando alukulungisi. Ungenza konke ngendlela efanele kodwa basavuke besindwa. Ungasho into ephelele bese uyibona iwela ezeni. Lokho kungabi namandla kunhlobo yakho yobuhlungu, futhi abantu abaningi abakuthwele abakaze bathole nelilodwa izwi lesiqondiso. Bamane bazame, bakhathazeke, futhi bazibuze ngokuthula ukuthi bayakwenza kubembi yini.
Ngakho asiqale ngalokho okuceleka ngempela kuwe. Hhayi ikhambi. Hhayi ukusindisa. Umsebenzi usondele ekugcineni isibani sikhanya efasiteleni. Wena uyinto eqinile abangathola ngayo indlela yabo yokubuyela, isikhumbuzo sokuthi abakho bodwa lapho. Lokho kuncane kunokubalungisa, futhi kubaluleke kakhulu ngokwedlulele.
Ukusiza kubukeka kanjani ngempela
Umuzwa wemvelo, lapho umuntu omthandayo elimele, ngukwenza okuthile. Ukunikeza uhlangothi oluhle. Ukuphakamisa ukuhamba, isengezo, isimo sengqondo esihlukile. Okuningi kwalokho kufika njengengcindezi, ngisho noma kuwuthando olungcwele ngaphansi. Ukucindezeleka nokukhathazeka akuzona izinkinga ezilinde iseluleko esifanele. Kuyizimo umuntu asevele engaphakathi kwazo, ngokuvamile ezikhathazile, futhi umsinga wamacebiso ungazwakala njengohlu lwezinto ehluleka kuzo.
Okusiza kakhulu kulula kunalokho okuzwakala ngakho. Lalela ungasheshi ukulungisa. Isiqondiso se-Mayo Clinic sabantu abeseka umuntu onokucindezeleka sikubeka ngokusobala: yiba nesifiso sokulalela, futhi umelane nesifiso sokunikeza iseluleko noma ukwahlulela. Awudingi ukukuqonda ngokuphelele. Udinga nje ukuhlala egumbini.
Izinto ezimbalwa ezivame ukufinyelela ngempela kumlingani olwisanayo:
- Buza, bese ubavumela baphendule ngempela. Ukuthi "Unjani, ngempela?" kufika ngendlela ehlukile kunokuthi "Uright?" okuphonswa ngehlombe. Nika umbuzo indawo ungagcwalisi ukuthula ngokushesha kakhulu.
- Bakholelwe. Uma bethi ukusa kuzwakala njengokuhamba esihlabathini esimanzi, kuthathe njengeqiniso. Abenzi ihaba ukuze bathole ukunakwa.
- Shintsha inkulumo egqugquzelayo ngobukhona. Ukuthi "Ngilapha, futhi angiyi ndawo" kwenza okuningi kunalokho okuyoke kwenziwe yiwo wonke umlayezo othi "cabanga kahle."
- Siza ngemishini emincane yempilo. Isidlo sakusihlwa esesenziwe, iwashi lezingubo, ukuwahambisa e-apoyintimenti. Uma yonke into izwakala isinda, imisebenzi ejwayelekile iba izintaba, futhi ukususa owodwa ngokuthula kuyisenzo sangempela sothando.
- Qhubeka umema, kancane, ngaphandle kokugcina amaphuzu. Buza uma befuna ukuza bezohamba. Uma kungu-cha, kuvumele kube ngu-cha, bese ubuza futhi ngolunye usuku.
Qaphela okushodayo kulolo hlu. Awusiye umeluleki wabo. Awunasibopho sokubakhipha endleleni abazizwa ngayo. Ungumuntu ohlalayo.
Amazwi asizayo, nalawo ahlabayo
Izinhloso ezinhle zishibilika njalo olimini. Ukuthi "jabula," "kungaba kubi kakhulu," "mane uzame ukungacabangi ngakho" konke kuphethe umlayezo ofihliwe: ukuthi umuzwa uwukukhetha abakwenza kabi. Cishe njalo sebevele bazizwa bengumthwalo. Ukubeka okuchaza ukuthi kufanele bamane baphume kukho kuqinisekisa into enonya kunazo zonke esifo esibatshela yona.
Awudingi iskripthi. Imisho embalwa eqotho imboza iningi lezikhathi.
Angikuqondi ngokugcwele ukuthi lokhu kuzwakala kanjani, kodwa ngiyakukholelwa, futhi ngifuna ukuqonda.
Awuyona into eningi kakhulu kimi. Sizokuxazulula lokhu ndawonye.
Yini engasiza ngempela njengamanje? Futhi uma ungazi, nalokho kulungile.
Lowo wokugcina ubalulekile. Ukubuza ukuthi badingani, esikhundleni sokubanqumela, kubuyisela ukulawula okuncane kumuntu cishe ozizwa ekulahlekelwe konke.
Ukukhuthaza usizo ngaphandle kokubaphushela eweni
Kukhona ukungezwani kwangempela lapha. Uyabona ukuthi badinga usekelo oluningi kunalokho ongabanika khona, futhi awukwazi ukuhudula umuntu omdala ukuya ekwelulekweni. Ucindezele kakhulu bese uba omunye umthombo wengcindezi. Ungasho lutho bese ubabuka becwila.
Isinyathelo ngukusho lokho okubonayo ngonakekelo, nokwenza isinyathelo esilandelayo sibe sincane. Esikhundleni sokuthi "udinga ukubona umuntu," zama "ngiqaphele ukuthi ubukeka uphansi kakhulu isikhathi eside, futhi ngikuthanda kakhulu ukuze ngenze sengathi angiboni. Kungazwakala kulungile yini ukuxoxa nodokotela ndawonye?" Udokotela womndeni ojwayelekile uyisiteshi sokuqala esisemthethweni ngokuphelele. Ukuzinikela ukuhlala egumbini lokulinda, noma ukusiza ukuthola igama nokwenza ucingo, kungaguqula umsebenzi ongenakwenzeka ube ngowenzeka.
Futhi gcina okulindele kuqotho. I-APA iphawula ukuthi abantu abaningi abaphila ngisho nesifo sengqondo esibucayi bayangcono ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, nokuthi ukubamba ithemba eliqinile, elingokoqobo kusiza ukululama. Awubhalisi ukuzizwa kanjena unomphela. Usiza ukuthi bafinyelele kubantu nasekwelapheni okuhambisa izinto phambili.
Uvunyelwe ukuba umuntu nawe
Nansi ingxenye okungekho oyitshela oweseka: ukuthanda umuntu kule nkinga kunzima ngempela, futhi ukwenza sengathi akunjalo ekugcineni kuzokwephula. Abanakekeli, ngomqondo obanzi, njalo babika ingcindezi ephakeme kunabantu abangathwele omunye umuntu. Awukwazi ukuthela ngenkomishi engenalutho, futhi awukwazi ukuba ubukhona obuqinile uma ucwila ngokuthula eceleni kwabo.
Ngakho phatha inhlalakahle yakho njengengxenye yohlelo, hhayi into eyengeziwe ozoyithola kamuva.
- Gcina intambo eyodwa noma ezimbili zempilo yakho ziphila. Umngane oxoxa naye, into oyenzayo eyakho kuphela. Izwe lakho lonke lincipha lize lifike esifweni sabo akusizi muntu.
- Zivumele uzwe usizi, ukukhungatheka, ngisho nokucasuka okuvelayo, ngaphandle kokunquma kukwenza umlingani omubi. Kukwenza umuntu.
- Thola umuntu ozoxoxa naye ongesiye yena. Umngane, umeluleki, iqembu lokwesekwa labantu abakuqondayo. Udinga indawo yokubeka phansi isisindo.
- Qaphela umugqa ophakathi kokweseka nokunyamalala. Uma usuyekile ukulala, wayeka ukudla kahle, wayeka ukuzibona ukuthi ungubani, lokho akukhona ukuzinikela. Yisibani sesixwayiso.
Ukuzivikela akukhona ubugovu. Yikho okukuvumela ukuqhubeka uvela kusasa, nangosuku olulandelayo, okuwukuphela kwento eyoke isize.
Uma kukhulu kunani nobabili
Iningi lezikhathi ezinzima yizinto enizibhekana nazo ndawonye ngokubekezela nangosekelo lobungcweti olufanele. Ezinye izikhathi zidinga okwengeziwe, ngokushesha. Uma umlingani wakho ekhuluma ngokungafuni ukuba lapha, ngokuba umthwalo wonke umuntu obengaba ngcono ngaphandle kwawo, noma eqala ukunikela ngezinto athi sala kahle, kuthathe njengento ebucayi ungakugcini kuyimfihlo ukuvikela ukuziqhenya kwabo. Buza ngokuqondile ukuthi bacabanga ukuzibulala yini. Ukubuza akutshali umqondo. Kuvula umnyango.
Kulezo zikhathi awudingi ukuba uchwepheshe. E-U.S. ungashaya ucingo noma uthumele umbhalo ku-988 nganoma yisiphi isikhathi, emini noma ebusuku, ukufinyelela umeluleki oqeqeshiwe, futhi ungakusebenzisela wena uqobo lapho wesabela umuntu omthandayo, hhayi kuphela kumuntu osenkingeni. Uma kukhona ingozi esheshayo, lokho kuyisimo esiphuthumayo, futhi ukubheka njengaso.
Akukho kwalokhu okuwuthando obeluzicabangela. Kusinda kakhulu futhi kuthule futhi kuvuza kancane ngaleso sikhathi. Kodwa ukuhlala, ukulalela, ukususa izintatshana ezincane, ukukhomba usizo lwangempela, nokuzigcina umile ngenkathi ukwenza, lokho kuwuhlobo lwangempela lothando, futhi ngokuvamile kuyiyo into eyisa umuntu ngakolunye uhlangothi.
Imithombo
- American Psychological Association, How to cope when a loved one has a serious mental illness
- Mayo Clinic, Depression: Supporting a family member or friend
- American Psychiatric Association, Helping a Loved One Cope with Mental Illness
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, Help Someone Else