Amathiphu asheshayo
- Bhala phansi ukuqaphela, hhayi imisebenzi kuphela.
- Nikela ngemisebenzi ephelele, hhayi izinyathelo.
- Kuphakamise ngomzuzu ozothile.
Iqabane lakho liwasha izitsha. Lilanda izingane ngoLwesibili. Lingakutshela, ngokwethembeka, ukuthi nina nobabili nabelana izinto ngokulinganayo. Kepha nguwe olele uvukile udlala uhla. Ubani odinga izicathulo ezintsha. Ukuthi imoto isizoya nini enkonzweni. Ukuthi ngabe sikhona isipho somcimbi ngoMgqibelo nokuthi ngabe uwukhumbulile yini nokuphendula ukuthi uzoya.
Lelo gebe linegama. Imisebenzi oyibonayo iyingxenye kuphela yomsebenzi. Enye ingxenye ukuqaphela, ukuhlela, ukukhumbula, nokukhathazeka okuthule kokugcina umuzi nomndeni usebenza. Abacwaningi bakubiza ngokuthi umsebenzi wengqondo. Abantu abaningi bakubiza nje ngomthwalo wengqondo. Kuyivelakancane kubonakale eshadini lemisebenzi, futhi kufanele kukhulunywe ngakho, ngoba uma kuwela kumuntu oyedwa kumcothula ngendlela okunzima ukuyikhomba futhi okulula ukuyixwaya.
Ukuthi umsebenzi ongabonakali uyini ngempela
Isazi sezokuhlalisana kwabantu u-Allison Daminger waxoxisana nezithandani eziningi wathola ukuthi ingxenye yokucabanga yokuphatha ikhaya yehlukene izinyathelo ezine. Ubona kusengaphambili isidingo ngaphambi kokuba sibe yinkinga (amanabukeni asezophela). Uhlonza izinketho (yiziphi, zivelaphi, ngenani elingakanani). Unquma. Bese uqapha ukuze uqiniseke ukuthi kwenziwe ngempela futhi akuzange kuwe ngokuthula.
Ukugeza isitsha kungumsebenzi owodwa. Isitsha siyaphela uma sesihlanzekile. Ukubona kusengaphambili nokuqapha akupheli. Kusebenza ngasese usuku lonke, nsuku zonke, futhi kusinda kakhulu khona kanye lapho uzama ukuphumula.
Nansi ingxenye emangaza abantu. U-Daminger wathola ukuthi ngisho nasezithandanini ezazabelana kahle imisebenzi yezandla, ezimbili kwalezi zinyathelo ezine zaziwela kubesifazane cishe zonke izikhathi: ukubona kusengaphambili nokuqapha. Ukunquma kwakuvame ukwabelwana. Ukuqaphela nokulandelela kwakungenjalo. Ngakho isithandani singahlukanisa umsebenzi obonakalayo phakathi kodwa kusenomuntu oyedwa othwele wonke umthwalo walokho okuza ngaphambi nangemva kwako.
Kungani kukhathaza kangaka kanti akubonakali kuyinto enkulu
Ngaphandle, umthwalo wengqondo ubonakala uyize. Akekho okubukayo ukhumbula ukuthi iphepha lemvume lifanele lifike ngoLwesihlanu. Asikho isinki esigcwele ubufakazi. Lokho kungabonakali kuyingxenye enkulu yenkinga. Kunzima ukuzizwa wamukelekile ngomsebenzi ongabonwa muntu, futhi kunzima ukucela usizo ngomsebenzi ongakwazi ukuwukhomba.
Isilinganiso siyakaluleka. Ucwaningo lomama abangaphezu kuka-300 e-USC lwathola ukuthi abesifazane babebhekelela cishe izingxenye ezintathu kwezine zomsebenzi wengqondo wasekhaya, igebe elikhulu kunelemisebenzi yomzimba. Futhi kwakungumthwalo wengqondo, ngaphezu kwemisebenzi yezandla, owawuhambisana nokucindezeleka okuphezulu, ukwaneliseka okuncane ebudlelwaneni, nokusha. Abacwaningi base-Harvard's Radcliffe Institute bakuchaza njengokukhipha "indawo yengqondo" "kanye namandla okucabanga", izinsiza ezingavuki uma ubala kuphela amahora achithwe uhlanza.
Akukho kulokhu okusho ukuthi iqabane lakho livila noma alinandaba. Ngokuvamile umuntu othwele okuncane komthwalo ngempela akakawuboni, ngoba yonke into ngomthwalo wengqondo ukuthi awubonakali. Lezo futhi yizindaba ezinhle. Okungabonakali kungenziwa kubonakale. Futhi uma abantu ababili sebengakubona bobabili, bangakwabelana ngempela.
Kukhona esinye isizathu sokuthi kwakheke ngokuthula. Imizi ivame ukwakha umuntu ozenzakalelayo, lowo wonke umuntu abhekela kuye uma isikole sishaya ucingo, uma ingane ingatholi izicathulo zayo, uma okuthile kudinga ukunqunywa khona manje. Ukuba ngozenzakalelayo kungumsebenzi ngokwawo. Kusho ukuthi awukaze uphumule ngokugcwele emsebenzini, ngoba nganoma yisiphi isikhathi ungase udingeke ukuze wazi impendulo. Ukwabelana ngomthwalo kusho okungaphezu kokuhlukanisa imisebenzi. Kusho ukuthi kunabantu ababili umuzi ongabathemba ngempela.
Ukukuletha ekukhanyeni
Iqhinga akusiyo ukunikela ngemisebenzi embalwa engeziwe. Ukunikela ngokuqaphela nokukhumbula, ingxenye ehlala ekhanda lakho. Lokho kudinga ingxoxo yangempela, hhayi umbono odlulayo phakathi kokusihlwa okucindezelayo.
- Khetha umzuzu ozothile, hhayi indawo evuthayo. Ungakuphakamisi phakathi kwempikiswano noma umi phezu kwesinki. Yisho into enjengokuthi, "Kukhona engikade ngikuthwele engingathanda ukuthi sikubheke ndawonye." Umema ozohlanganyela nawe, awufaki isikhalazo.
- Yenza okungabonakali kubonakale. Isonto lonke, bhala phansi imisebenzi yengqondo njengoba ivela. Imilayezo oyithumelayo, ama-apoyintimenti owabhukhayo, uhlu oluqhubekayo lwalokho okusekuzophela. Abantu abaningi bamangala ubude bohlu, kubandakanya neqabane elalingazi ukuthi lukhona.
- Nikela ngemisebenzi ephelele, hhayi izinyathelo. Yilokhu okuguqula izinto. Ungaceli iqabane lakho ukuthi "likusize" ngezingubo zezingane. Linike izingubo, kusukela ekuqaleni kuze kube sekugcineni: ukuqaphela okusekuncane, usayizi, isabelomali, ukuwoda, konke. Uma unikela ngokwenza kuphela ugcine ukunquma, usenguye umphathi, futhi ukuphatha yingxenye esindayo.
- Yeka indlela abakwenza ngayo. Uma uthatha wonke umsebenzi lapho ungenziwanga ngendlela yakho, ubuyela kuwe futhi ngokuthula. Indlela ehlukile yokuwenza yizindleko zokuwabelana ngempela. Uhlelo lwabo aludingi ukufana nolwakho ukuze lubaleke.
- Kubeke bese uphinda ubheke. Vumelanani ngokuthi ubani ophethe ngempela ini, bese nibheka emasontweni ambalwa kamuva. Ezinye izinikelo ngeke zisebenze ngomzamo wokuqala. Lokho kujwayelekile. Wakha kabusha iphethini ebisinesikhathi seminyaka izinza.
Uma uwena ongakawuthwali
Uma ufunda lokhu bese uzibona njengeqabane elibe lula kumthwalo, lokho kubona kuyisiphetho sonke sokuguqula. Ungazivikeli, futhi ungalindi ukunikwa uhlu. Khetha indawo bese uyiphatha ngokuphelele, kubandakanya ingxenye ehlala ekhanda lakho. Buza, "Yini engingayiboni?" bese ubheka ngempela. Ukuthatha ubunikazi bangempela ngisho nendawo eyodwa, kusukela ekuqaleni kuze kube sekugcineni, kubuyisela iqabane lakho okuthile elikudinga kakhulu: ikhono lokuyeka ngokuphelele ukucabanga ngako.
Uma kulokhu kubuya
Okunye kwalokhu ungakuxazulula ngezingxoxo ezimbalwa eziqotho. Okunye kuhlezi phezu kwezinto ezindala, ezijulile, inkolelo engashiwongo yokuthi lokhu kumane "kungumsebenzi wabesifazane," noma imisele egugile yendlela ngamunye wenu akhula ngayo. Uma nilokhu niwela emlweni ofanayo, noma omunye wenu useyaya ekubambeleleni kwangempela noma ekusheni, udokotela wengqondo wezithandani angakusiza uguqule iphethini esikhundleni sohlu lwemisebenzi kuphela. Lokho akulona uphawu lokuthi ubudlelwano buyehluleka. Ngabantu ababili abanquma ukuthi ubudlelwano bufanelwe ukunakekelwa.
Futhi uma isisindo osithwele sesiwele entweni esindayo kakhulu, ukwesaba okungapheli, ukukhathala obuthongo obungeke bukuthinte, ukuthulisa ongakwazi ukukuxosha, sicela ukhulume nodokotela noma uchwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo. Ukweluleka wembeleke isikhathi eside akulona iphutha lesimilo, futhi akudingeki uzidonse wedwa kukho.
Injongo lapha yayingelona incwadi yamabhuku elinganisa ngokuphelele, ibalwa umsebenzi ngomsebenzi. Kuwuxolo lokwazi ukuthi omunye umuntu ubuka umgwaqo nawe, ukuthi awuwena wedwa ozokhumbula. Umthwalo owabelwene ulula ngenxa yesizathu esisobala. Ulula futhi ngoba ekugcineni uyakwazi ukuwubeka phansi.
Imithombo
- American Sociological Review, The Cognitive Dimension of Household Labor (Allison Daminger)
- USC Dornsife, Moms think more about household chores, and this cognitive burden hurts their mental health
- Radcliffe Institute, Harvard University, The Unseen Inequity of Cognitive Labor