Wo ne wo panyin nhyiam wɔ Yawoada, na woasi wo bo sɛ ɛyɛ saa nhyiam yi mu na wobɛka no afiri wo anom. Ɛfata sɛ woka. Afe yi wode nneɛma bae a na ɛnni hɔ ansa na woreba, wofaa nnwuma a obiara amfa amma wo, na sika gyinabea nso asesa firi ɛberɛ a obi hwɛɛ wo deɛ no. Deɛ wonnya no ne kasamu no ankasa.
Ɛhɔ na ɛhwere, na ɛyɛ ketewaa bi. Afotusɛm dodoɔ a ɛfa akatua nkɔsoɔ ho gyina sɛ "kyerɛ wo nsɛm", na saa fa no deɛ wonim dedaw. Nneɛma mmiɛnsa nketewa na ɛkyerɛ deɛ ɛbɛba: sika dodoɔ pɔtee baako, kasamu baako a ɛsoa no, ne ahoɔden a wode bɛyɛ komm simma baako a ɛdi so no mu. Saa asɛm yi gyina wo fa mu firi ahyɛaseɛ kɔsi awieeɛ.
Sɛ merebisa akatua nkɔsoɔ a, asɛm bɛn pɔtee na menka?
Ka kasamu baako a sika dodoɔ baako wɔ mu, na to wo ano mu. Sɛ deɛ ɛdi so yi: sɛdeɛ nnwuma a mafa afe yi ne deɛ adwuma yi tumi tua wɔ abɔntene so teɛ no, merebisa sɛ menkɔ mpem aduɔkron nnum so.
Ɛno ne abisadeɛ no nyinaa. Hwɛ deɛ ɛnni mu. Kyɛwpa biara nni mu, nnianimsɛm a ɛfa sɛdeɛ wodɔ ekuo no nni mu, "na merebisa sɛ ebia sɛ..." nni mu, na sika ntam kɛseɛ nso nni mu. Sɛ woka ntam a, daa wɔkane firi aseɛ hɔ, na ɛnyɛ sɛ nnipa no yɛ atirimuɔdenfoɔ, na mmom wɔde deɛ wode ama wɔn no reyɛ wɔn adwuma. Sika dodoɔ baako nyɛ akokoakoko. Ɛda adi pefee, na deɛ ɛda adi pefee na wɔtumi yɛ ho biribi.
Ka no komm, sɛdeɛ wo nne teɛ, ntɛmntɛm a ɛfata. Sɛ wo ho pere wo ka a, ɛte sɛ deɛ woresie biribi hwɛ sɛ ɛbɛtumi afiri wo nsam. Sɛ woka no sɛdeɛ woka wo nsɛm a aka nyinaa a, ɛte sɛ nokwaresɛm a woahwɛ so dada, na saa ara na ɛteɛ.
Mɛyɛ dɛn ahunu sika dodoɔ no?
Fa wo ankasa afe no mu nsɛm mmiɛnsa a wo de nne wɔ so, hwehwɛ mmeaeɛ mmienu anaa mmiɛnsa firi abɔntene so a ɛfa wo dwuma ne wo baabi ho, na yi sika dodoɔ pɔtee bi wɔ deɛ ɛno kyerɛ no atifi. Pɔtee sen anibereɛ wɔ ha, ɛfiri sɛ sika a akontabuo da n'akyi tumi gyina nkɔmmɔ ano, na sika kɛseɛ a wɔabu no kurukuru deɛ, ɛntumi nnyina.
Nsɛm mmiɛnsa no ho hia sen abɔntene so nsɛm no, na ɛnyɛ nkyerɛkyerɛmu a ɛfa sɛdeɛ woyɛ adwuma den. Ɛwɔ da so, ɛyɛ wo dea, na aba bi bata mu. "Meyɛɛ nsakraeɛ adwuma no wɔ Ɔbɛnem na ɛbaa awieeɛ nnawɔtwe mmienu ansa" yɛ aba. "Made me ho ahyɛ mu papa afe yi" nyɛ aba, na onipa a ɔte wo anim no ate deɛ ɛtɔ so mmienu no mprɛnadu.
Wɔ abɔntene so nsɛm no ho no, hunu sɛdeɛ nnipa bu no bɔne. Nhwehwɛmu bi a National Bureau of Economic Research tintimiiɛ hunuu sɛ adwumayɛfoɔ nim wɔn panyinfoɔ akatua bɔne yie, na wɔn a wɔne wɔn yɛ adwuma nso, wɔnim wɔn deɛ bɔne kakra. Ɛkyerɛ sɛ sika a ɛwɔ wo tirim no, ebia wonhwɛɛ so pɛn. Nsɛm nokware mmienu anaa mmiɛnsa dɔɔso sɛ ɛbɛma woagyae susu hunu.
KEEP CALM hyɛasefoɔ no yɛ nhwɛsoɔ pa wɔ ha sen nkyerɛkyerɛmu biara. Ɔpereeɛ ne nkwa nna nyinaa mu, na ɛberɛ biara na ɔpɛ deɛ ɛboro deɛ ɔwɔ so, na ɔbisaa no ɔdwan mu, nanso na ne bo adwo sɛdeɛ ɔbɛtumi akura dan no mu. Sɛ wopɛ sika pii a, ɛnyɛ suban mu mfomsoɔ a ɛsɛ sɛ wodwodwoɔ. Ɛyɛ nimdeɛ a kasamu wɔ ho, na aka nkyekyɛmu mmiɛnsa pɛ na woanya kasamu no.
Sɛ mebisa na wɔyɛ komm a, mɛyɛ dɛn?
Nyɛ hwee. Ma komm no nkɔ so kɔsi baabi a ɛbɛkɔ, na mfa nkyerɛkyerɛmu, akatua tewkakra anaa aseresɛm a wo ho pere wo nhyɛ mu.
Ɛha na nnipa dodoɔ hwere hɔ, na nhwehwɛmu ankasa kyerɛ deɛ enti a sɛ wokura mu a ɛyɛ adwuma. Adwuma bi a ɛfiri MIT Sloan a wɔtintimiiɛ wɔ Journal of Applied Psychology mu no susuu komm mmerɛ a ɛboro nkyɛmu mmiɛnsa wɔ apamsɛm mu, na wɔhunuu sɛ saa mmerɛ no taa ba ansa na nsakraeɛ kɛseɛ aba, ɛfiri sɛ komm sɛe adwene a ɛka sɛ ɛsɛ sɛ ɔfa hwere ansa na ɔfa anya, na ɛde nnipa baanu no nyinaa kɔ adwene a ɛdwo mu. Komm nyɛ tumi kyerɛ a wode di onipa a ɔne wo te no so. Ɛyɛ adwennwene berɛ a mo baanu nyinaa nya kwa.
Sɛdeɛ ɛte wɔ honam mu no yɛ asɛm foforɔ. Nkyɛmu mmiɛnsa a ɛyɛ dinn wɔ sika dodoɔ akyi te sɛ nkyɛmu aduonu. Siesie wo ho ma no. Yi biribi a wobɛhwɛ so, ma wo nsa nnyɛ komm, na ma wɔnni kan nkasa. Sɛ ɛsɛ sɛ woyɛ biribi a, gu ahome ase brɛoo fa wo hwene mu.
Da a ɛbɛba no anɔpa no, mɛyɛ me ho krado sɛn?
Tene wo mu anaa nante den anɔpa, di aduane pa, na bɔ kasamu no mu pɛn koro ɔdwan mu. Tebea a wowɔ mu ɛberɛ a wo hyɛn dan no mu no na ɛkyerɛ sɛ wobɛtumi agyina komm simma baako ano anaa, na ɛnyɛ awia nnɔn mmienu na wobɛtumi anya saa tebea no.
Yei yɛ hyɛasefoɔ no ankasa kwan a yɛreka yɛakyerɛ, na ɛnyɛ mmara a yɛde rehyɛ obi. Nteneteneɛ yɛ akwan a ɔfaa so soaa adwuma nhyɛso no mu baako, na anɔpa nteneteneɛ den yɛ abodwoeɛ a wosua wɔ adesoa ase, ɛnyɛ apɔmuden agodie kɛkɛ. Wo nipadua yɛ adwinnadeɛ a wode kɔ dan no mu, na ɛyɛ adwinnadeɛ baako pɛ a ɛwɔ hɔ a ɛyɛ wo dea.
Bɔ mu pɛn koro, na ɛnyɛ mpɛn aduonu. Sɛ woka kasamu no ɔdwan mu pɛn koro a, ɛkyerɛ sɛ wobɛtumi ayi no adi wɔ nne ankasa mu. Sɛ woka no mpɛn aduonu a, ɛdane agodie, na agodie mu nsɛm deɛ, wo werɛ tumi firi.
Sɛ mmuaeɛ no yɛ dabi a ɛnneɛ?
Bisa nsɛmmisa mmienu na fa da bi firi hɔ. Ɛdeɛn na ɛsɛ sɛ ɛba mu ansa na yei ayɛ aane, na da bɛn na yɛbɛsan ahwɛ bio. Dabi a da bata ho yɛ kwan, dabi a da nni ho yɛ dabi kɛkɛ, na wo nko ara ne onipa a ɔwɔ dan no mu a wobɛtumi adane baako ayɛ no baako.
Twerɛ da no gu baabi a wobɛhunu, wɔ bosome a ɛfata mu, na ɛgyae sɛ ɛbɛyɛ ɔpo na ɛbɛyɛ adekyerɛ so asɛm. Afei kɔ so fa nsɛm a da wɔ so bra, ɛfiri sɛ nkɔmmɔ a ɛdi so no bɛhyɛ aseɛ wɔ deɛ ɛsii wɔ ntam hɔ no so.
Mfa dabi no sɛ ɛka biribi fa wo boɔ ho. Ɛka berɛ, sika nhyehyɛeɛ ne nsɛm a na ɛwɔ dan no mu ansa na wo koraa woduruu hɔ ho asɛm, na emu baako mpo nyɛ atemmuo a wɔabu wo.
Adeɛ a mfasoɔ pa ara wɔ so a wode saa nimdeɛ yi bɛyɛ bosome a ɛdi so
Fa yɛ obi foforɔ adeɛ. Woasua sɛdeɛ woka sika dodoɔ wɔ nne a ɛdwo mu na wokura komm a ɛdi akyi no mu, na akwan mmienu wɔ hɔ a ɛdane no adeɛ a ɛso sen akatua nkɔsoɔ baako.
Deɛ ɛdi kan ne sɛ, ka deɛ wonya ankasa kyerɛ obi a ɔsua wo akyi wɔ adwuma no mu. Nnipa bebree fa no sɛ, asɛm baako a mfasoɔ wɔ so sen biara a obi ka kyerɛɛ wɔn wɔ wɔn adwuma mu ne sika dodoɔ ankasa bi a obi a na ɛnhia sɛ ɔka no kaeɛ. Ɛnka wo hwee sɛ akokoduru. Mmara mmienu ma ɛyɛ kronn: ka wo ankasa deɛ, na nka obi foforɔ deɛ, na ka kyerɛ onipa a ɛboa no, na ɛnyɛ ekuo no nyinaa.
Deɛ ɛtɔ so mmienu ne sɛ, bɔ saa onipa no din wɔ dan a wɔsi akatua ho gyinaeɛ wɔ mu no mu. Ɛha na nsonsonoeɛ a ɛda ɔkyerɛkyerɛni ne ɔkanniagyinafoɔ ntam ho hia, na nnipa dodoɔ, obiara nkyerɛɛ wɔn aseɛ pɛn. Ɔkyerɛkyerɛni de afotuo ma wo wɔ kɔfe adidibea. Ɔkanniagyinafoɔ deɛ, ɔbɔ wo din wɔ dan a wonni mu mu. Wɔsi akatua ho gyinaeɛ wɔ dan no mu, ɛnyɛ kɔfe adidibea hɔ, ɛno enti na ɔkanniagyinafoɔ baako som bo sen kɔfe ɔha, na ɛno enti na kasamu baako a wobɛtumi aka som bo ma obi sen wo dɔnhwere baako.
KEEP CALM hyɛasefoɔ no ka sɛ yei yɛ nkokoamsɛm a ɛmaa ne nsa kaa nkonimdie no mu baako, na ɔyɛɛ no firi aseɛ kɔsi soro, na ɛnyɛ sɛ ɔtwɛneɛ kɔsii sɛ ɔnyaa ne ho. Ɔhwehwɛɛ akwan daa a ɔbɛfa so ayi nnipa a wɔatwa ne ho ahyia no ayɛ na wagyina wɔn akyi, na ɔka sɛ deɛ ɛsan baeɛ no yɛ mmɔho du. Ɛno yɛ ne nkwa ho amanneɛbɔ, na ɛnyɛ mfasoɔ a wɔde biribi ka obi. Fa a ɛyɛ mmerɛ no deɛ, obiara nnye ho akyinnyeɛ: sɛ wobɔ obi din a, ɛka kasamu baako, na edin sɛ onipa a ɔsi nnipa a, ɛno na ɛma wonya adwuma a ɛdi so.
Ɛnonom biara nsi abisadeɛ no ananmu. Bisa kan, gye wo sika, na fa deɛ wonyaa no bi so obi a ɔnni bi. Ɛno ne nsonsonoeɛ a ɛda adwumayɛ a ɛboaboa ano ne adwumayɛ a ɛdɔɔso ntam.
Nsɛm a ɛfiriɛ
- MIT Sloan School of Management, In negotiation, use silence to improve outcomes for all
- MIT Sloan School of Management, Silence is golden: New research out of MIT's Sloan School of Management suggests that extended silence during negotiations leads to better results for both parties
- National Bureau of Economic Research, How Much Does Your Boss Make? The Effects of Salary Comparisons