Nnansa yi bi, w'ani abue. Deɛ wɔde ama wo no nyɛ deɛ wohia, sika no rentumi nyɛ adwuma, na woasi gyinaeɛ dada sɛ woaka anaa wonkaeɛ. Saa nteaseɛ no som bo. Deɛ aka no nyɛ gyinaeɛ no, ɛyɛ kasamu a wobɛka.
Asɛmpa a ɛfa saa kasamu no ho nie. Sɛ woka "dabi" wɔ ɔkwan pa so a, ɛyɛ nnipa ho adwene a ɛyɛ den sen biara a wobɛnya wɔ adwuma mu. Ɛfata simma du a wode bɛhwɛ so yie, ɛfiri sɛ nhyehyɛeɛ san ba. Sika nhyehyɛeɛ sesa, onipa a ɔfaa adwumayɛfoɔ no kɔ baabi a ɛyɛ, na adwuma a wopoo no no nya sika pa wɔ Ɔbɛnem mu.
Enti botaeɛ no nyɛ sɛ wobɛfiri mu ahoɔfɛ so. Ɛyɛ sɛ wobɛka "dabi" akyerɛ nhyehyɛeɛ no na woaka "aane" akyerɛ onipa no, wɔ nsɛm a sɛ obi de kɔma obi a wonhunuu no da mpo a, w'ani bɛgye ho.
Mɛyɛ dɛn apo deɛ wɔde ama me a ayɔnkofa no rensɛe?
Da wɔn ase pɔtee, ma nokwasɛm baako a enti a woapo, bɔ tebea baako a ɛbɛsesa w'adwene din, na fa kɔ ɛda no ara mu. Afaafa nnan a ɛyɛ tiaa, nsɛm hunu biara nni mu, na nkyerɛkyerɛmu tenten nni mu, ɛfiri sɛ nkyerɛkyerɛmu tenten te sɛ akyinnyeɛ na ɛfrɛ akyinnyeɛ ba.
Ne su te sei. "Meda mo ase wɔ yei ho, ne titire no, berɛ a Priya de kyerɛɛ me nhyehyɛeɛ no mu no. Merepo. Adwuma no yɛ adwuma a ɛyɛ mma onipa a ɔwɔ hɔ daa, na sika no deɛ ɛyɛ berɛ fa deɛ, enti merentumi nyɛ no sɛnea yɛn baanu nyinaa pɛ. Sɛ sika no ba aduanan ne deɛ ɛboro so a, m'ani bɛgye sɛ mɛsan ahwɛ."
Kenkan nkyerɛwee a ɛtwa toɔ no bio, ɛfiri sɛ ɛno ne nsonsonoeɛ no nyinaa. Biribiara a ɛdi n'anim no yɛ ɔpoeɛ. Saa nkyerɛwee no yɛ ɔpon a ɛda hɔ a ne nkyekyerɛe wɔ so.
Tebea baako bɛn na ɛma ɔpon no da hɔ?
Tebea pɔtee a ɛbɛma woaka "aane", a woka no sɛ nokwasɛm na ɛnyɛ obuo nsɛm. "Sɛ sika no du aduanan a." "Sɛ mfiaseɛ da no kɔ Ɔbɛn mu a." "Sɛ adwuma no tew ba nkabomdeɛ mmienu no so a." Tebea baako, a wɔbɛtumi ahwɛ mu, a nɔma anaa da bi wɔ mu.
Ɔdɔ nsɛm a emu nna hɔ nyɛ hwee wɔ ha. "Momma yɛnkɔ so nni nkitaho ampa" yɛ kasamu a nnipa twerɛ sɛ ɔdwene ananmu, na obiara kenkan no sɛ nkɔmmɔ no awieeɛ. Tebea deɛ, ɛsono, ɛfiri sɛ ɛma ɔfa a ɛtɔ so mmienu no biribi a wɔbɛtumi ayɛ ho adeɛ. Ɛkyerɛ wɔn deɛ ɛsɛ sɛ ɛsesa pɛpɛɛpɛ, na sɛ ɛba mu da bi a, ɛde wo si wɔn nkyerɛwee no anim. Ɛno nso ne asɛm a nkyerɛwee a wɔasiesie dada rentumi ntwerɛ mma wo, ɛfiri sɛ ɛgyina w'ankasa wo nɔma ne wo berɛ so.
Bɔ tebea a wobɛdi so nkutoo din. Sɛ wo mmuaeɛ bɛyɛ "dabi" ara wɔ aduanan so a, nka aduanan. Ɔpon a wonnhyɛn mu no nsi ɔpon a ɛnni hɔ koraa.
Ɛsɛ sɛ meka "dabi" anim anim anaa metwerɛ?
Ne mmienu nyinaa, saa nhyehyɛeɛ so, ɛda korɔ no ara mu. Sɛ na mo ne mo ho di nkitaho anim anim a, ka no anim anim, ɛfiri sɛ obi a ɔde ne berɛ maa wo no fata sɛ ɔte firi w'anom sen sɛ ɔbɛkenkan wɔ krataa dodoɔ mu. Afei twerɛ to hɔ wɔ nnɔnhwerew kakraa bi mu.
Deɛ wɔatwerɛ no nyɛ amanneɛ hunu. Ɛno ne deɛ wɔde mena obi, wɔde sie, na wɔsan kenkan abosome nsia akyi berɛ a sika nhyehyɛeɛ sesa, na ɛno na ɛde wo tebea no kɔ daakye wɔ w'ankasa wo nsɛm mu. Ka "dabi" no, na twerɛ ɔpon no.
Yɛ no ɛda a wosii gyinaeɛ no ara nso. Akyire twe na ɛsɛe ayɔnkofa ampa, na ɛnyɛ mmuaeɛ no ankasa. Ɛda biara a wode ka ho a woyɛ komm no, ɛgye ɔfa a ɛtɔ so mmienu no berɛ, nnipa ne adɔeɛ, na "dabi" a ɛba ntɛm yɛ akyɛdeɛ a wɔbɛkae akyɛ sen "aane" a ɛba brɛoo.
Sɛ yei yɛ obi a wopɛ sɛ wo ne no yɛ adwuma da bi a, ka nkyerɛwee baako ka ho fa deɛ wobɛpɛ ɛtɔ so mmienu no ho. "Sɛ biribi a ɛte sei ba na sika wɔ adwuma no nyinaa ho a, mɛsesa me nneɛma ama no." Ɛno nyɛ nkontompo nkamfoɔ. Ɛyɛ nkyerɛkyerɛmu pɔtee, na ɛyɛ kasamu a nnipa kora so.
Sɛ menim obi a ɔyɛ ma adwuma no sen me a, mɛka sɛn?
Fa din no kɔ. Ɔpoeɛ a ɛde nkitahodie pa wie no nnyɛ ɔhwereɛ mma wɔn bio, ɛdane adɔeɛ, na ɛnnye wo biribiara a na wode resie. Ɛyɛ adeɛ a ɛyɛ den sen biara a wobɛtumi de aka "dabi" ho, na ɛgye kasamu baako pɛ.
Yɛ no yie, ɛfiri sɛ nkitahodie a wɔyɛ no kwa mmoa obiara. Ka deɛ onipa no yɛ yie pɔtee, na ɛnnyɛ sɛ wobɛka sɛ ɔyɛ onipa pa: "Ade san sii Marlow checkout no na sikatuo fa no deɛ, ne ho akokwaw yie, na ɛno ne adwuma yi mu dodoɔ." Ayeyie a emu nna hɔ yɛ dede. Sɛ wobɔ adeɛ ankasa a obi yɛeɛ din wɔ onipa a ɔsi gyinaeɛ anim a, ɛyɛ adwuma mu asɛm kɛseɛ ma no na ɛgye wo kasamu baako pɛ.
Saa pɔtee no ho hia paa berɛ a onipa a woresoma no din no da w'akyi wɔ adwuma mu. Ɔnnya edin a ɛma ne din gyina ne ho so, enti wo kasamu no reyɛ adwuma a n'adwuma ho abakɔsɛm ntumi nyɛ seesei. Bisa no kane, na afei yɛ nkitahodie a anka wobɛtumi de asie no.
KEEP CALM hyɛfoɔ bɔ mmoa a wɔde ma nnipa din sɛ nneɛma a ɛmaa n'ankasa n'adwuma yɛɛ yie mu baako, adeɛ a ɔyɛeɛ berɛ a ɔgu so reforo na ɛnyɛ berɛ a ɔduruu soro, na ɔka sɛ deɛ ɔnyaa no mmɔho du. Ɛno yɛ n'ankasa mfeɛ aduonu ho amanneɛbɔ, ɛnyɛ mmara a ɛsɛ sɛ wohwɛ kwan sɛ ɛbɛba berɛ pɔtee bi mu. Deɛ ɛyɛ mmerɛ sɛ wobɛhwɛ ahunu no sua: mfeɛ mmienu akyi, nnipa a wɔkae wo no ntaa nyɛ wɔn a wo ne wɔn yɛɛ apam. Wɔyɛ wɔn a wode biribi maa wɔn.
Mɛyɛ dɛn ahunu sɛ ɛyɛ ɔpoeɛ ampa anaa ehu kɛkɛ?
Fa toto nɔma anaa tebea bi a wotwerɛe too hɔ ansa na nkɔmmɔ no refiri aseɛ ho. Ɔpoeɛ ampa yɛ gyinaeɛ a ɛne biribi a wosii gyinaeɛ ho berɛ a na hwee nni akyi hyia. Ehu kɛkɛ yɛ gyinaeɛ a ɛpuee anɔpa yi na ne dodoɔ yɛ ahopopoɔ.
Wɔn a wɔyɛ apam ho nkɔmmɔ frɛ deɛ anka wobɛyɛ no sɛ wo kwan a ɛyɛ pa a ɛtɔ so mmienu, na deɛ enti a ɛsɛ sɛ wode si hɔ ntɛm no ne saa berɛ yi ankasa. Sɛ deɛ wɔde ama wo no wɔ nɔma a wode sii hɔ awiaberɛ dinn bi mu no ase a, sɛ wobɛpo no yɛ akontabuo, na wobɛtumi de nne a ɛgyina pintinn ayɛ. Sɛ ɛboro nɔma no na wugu so pɛ sɛ wofiri mu a, asɛmmisa a ɛyɛ nokorɛ ne sɛ, ɛdeɛn na asesa, na mpɛn pii ɛyɛ adwuma no kɛseɛ, wura no anaa berɛ no, na ɛnyɛ sika no. Ɛfata sɛ woka no den, ɛfiri sɛ ebia wɔbɛtumi asiesie, na sika no deɛ ɛnyɛ ɛno da.
Ayɔnkofa no ne agyapadeɛ no
Wobɛhyia saa nnipa yi bio. Adwuma mu akuo sua sen sɛnea ɛte, na onipa a ɔbisaa wo nsɛm nnɛ no ne onipa a ɔbɛfa adwumayɛfoɔ wɔ baabi a ɛyɛ mfeɛ mmienu akyi.
Ɛno ne deɛ enti a ɛsɛ sɛ woyɛ yei yie ankasa, na ɛnfa ayamyɛ ho hwee. Edin a wobɛnya sɛ woka "dabi" a emu da hɔ, ntɛm, na wode din ka ho no yɛ adwuma mu agyapadeɛ a ɛtua ka mfeɛ du, na wɔde kasamu ahodoɔ a wobɛtumi na ɛsi. Nnipa a wɔkyɛ wɔ adwuma biara mu no nyɛ wɔn a wɔampo hwee da. Wɔyɛ wɔn a obiara bo mfu sɛ ɔte "dabi" firi wɔn nkyɛn.
Twerɛ no nnɛ. Da wɔn ase, nokwasɛm baako, tebea baako, din baako sɛ wowɔ bi. Afei kɔ na kɔgye nhyehyɛeɛ a na wopɛ no, wɔ ahodwoeɛ korɔ no ara mu, a ayɔnkofa biara nnyee ogya wɔ w'akyi.
Nsɛm a wɔgyee firii mu
- Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School, What is BATNA? How to Find Your Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement
- Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School, Relationships in Negotiation: The Advantages of Rapport Building
- Harvard Business Review, Control the Negotiation Before It Begins