Amathiphu asheshayo
- Kuhlukanise kube okungakulawula nokungenakulawuleka.
- Khetha iwindi elifushane losuku lokukhathazeka.
- Zwa izinyawo zakho, uqambe izinto ezinhlanu.
Kukhona uhlobo oluthile lokukhathala oluvela ekungazini. Awukho enkingeni. Akukho okonakele ngempela okwamanje. Ulinde nje ukuthola, futhi ingqondo yakho ayifuni ukukuyeka. Isebenzisa ibhuloho elifanayo ikhulu lezikhathi ngosuku, izame yonke inguqulo yalokho okungenzeka, sengathi ukuphinda okubi kakhulu kuzoze kukwenze uzilungiselele.
Mhlawumbe ulinde i-biopsy. Noma ukuthi ukudilizwa kuzofinyelela iqembu lakho yini. Ukuthi umnikelo uzofika yini, ukuthi ubudlelwane sebuphelile yini, ukuthi imali izofinyelela yini ekupheleni kwenyanga. Imininingwane iyahluka. Umuzwa uyafana. Ubungathanda kakhulu ukuba nempendulo embi kunokuqhubeka uhlezi embuzweni.
Uma yilapho okhona njengamanje, awubuthakathaka futhi awenzi izinto ngokweqisa. Ukungaqiniseki ngempela kungesinye sezimo ezinzima kunazo zonke zokuba ingqondo yomuntu ihlale kuso. Ukuqonda ukuthi kungani kuyasiza. Kuyasiza futhi ukuba nento ozokwenza ngezandla zakho ngesikhathi ulinde.
Kungani ukungazi kukukhandla
Ubuchopho bakho, empeleni, ngumshini wokubikezela. Uhlala uqagela okuzayo ukuze ukugcine uphephile, futhi uthanda ngokungqubuzayo umphumela owaziwayo kunovulekile. Lapho umphumela ungaxazululi, lolo hlelo lokubikezela luqhubeka lidubula lingenalutho lokufinyelela kulo. Yilelo bhuloho olizwayo. Akulona iphutha kuwe. Kuyimishini eyenza kanye lokho ekwenzayo, kodwa ingenampendulo yokuzinza kuyo.
Osazi bengqondo banegama lokuthi lokhu kumkhathaza kangakanani umuntu: ukungabekezeleli ukungaqiniseki. Kuyizinga lokuthi ukungazi kuzwakala kungamukeleki kunokuba kungakhululeki nje. Abantu bayahluka kakhulu lapha. Abanye bangabamba umbuzo ovulekile ngokukhanya. Kwabanye, umbuzo ovulekile ofanayo useduze nokungabekezeleleki, futhi ingqondo iphatha ngisho ithuba elincane lomphumela omubi njengesiqiniseko esifanele ukubhekana naso njalo.
Lokhu kubalulekile ngenxa yalokho ucwaningo olukutholile. Ukubukezwa kujenali *Neural Plasticity* kuchaza ukungaqiniseki kondla ukukhathazeka ngalo mgudu ncamashi: akukona okungaziwa uqobo okulimazayo kangako kunokuphendula kwethu okuqondayo, okomzwelo, nokokuziphatha kukho. Uma iphakeme ukungabekezeleli ukungaqiniseki komuntu, umbuzo ovulekile uphenduka ube ukukhathazeka, ukugwema, nomzimba obambeke ekuqapheleni. Ukukhathazeka, ngalokhu, kuwumzamo wengqondo yakho wokukhiqiza isiqiniseko esingakabikho. Kuzwakala kunemvelaphi. Kuvame ukungabi nayo.
Ngakho ingxenye enkulu yalokho okuthwele akusona isimo. Kungukumelana nesimo. Lokho akukona ukusola. Kuyizindaba ezinhle ngempela, ngoba ukumelana kuyinto ongasebenzisana nayo, ngisho lapho amaqiniso enganyakazi.
Qala ngalokho okungokwakho ngempela ukukubamba
Lapho konke kuzwakala kusemoyeni, ukwenzeka kwemvelo ukubambelela emandleni noma kuphi lapho ungakwazi. Icebo ukubambelela endaweni efanele.
Cabanga iziyingi ezimbili. Esisodwa siphethe konke ongakuthonya: izinqumo zakho, umzamo wakho, indlela ochitha ngayo ihora elilandelayo, ubani omfinyelelayo. Esinye siphethe konke ongenakukwazi: izinqumo zabanye abantu, umphumela osuvele uvalelwe emvilophini ndawana thile, ithebulisikhathi ongalisethi. Cishe konke ukuhlupheka kokungaqiniseki kuvela ekutheleni amandla kuleso siyingi sesibili, lapho angenakufinyelela khona.
I-American Psychological Association ibeka ukuthi "lawula lokho ongakwazi" eduze nomongo weseluleko sayo ngenxa yalesi sizathu ncamashi. Iziphakamiso zabo zincane ngamabomu. Hlela ukudla kweviki. Beka izingubo zakho ngobusuku obudlule ngaphambi kwento ecindezelayo. Gcina umkhuba owodwa uzinzile. Lokhu kuzwakala kuncane kakhulu kangangokuba kubaluleke, futhi yileyo iphuzu. Awuzami ukuxazulula okungaziwa okukhulu. Unika uhlelo lwakho lwezinzwa ubufakazi bangempela bokuthi usengumenzi empilweni yakho, ukuthi akukho konke okunqunywa ngenxa yakho.
Izindlela ezimbalwa zokuthola isiyingi sakho:
- Bhala phansi isimo, bese usihlukanisa sibe amalisti amabili: engingakuthonya, engingekuthonye. Ukukubona ephepheni kwenza okuthile okucabanga ngakho okungeke kukwenze.
- Thatha isenzo esisodwa esingokoqobo ohlwini lokuqala namuhla, noma sincane kangakanani. Thumela i-imeyili. Bhukha isikhathi sokubonana. Buza umbuzo ocacisayo.
- Uma uzibamba usebenza uhlu lwesibili, kuqambe kamnene. "Lolo alusilo olwami." Bese ubuyisela ukunaka kwakho lapho kungenza khona okuthile.
Lokhu akusho ukuzenza sengathi into enzima ayikho ngokoqobo. Kusho ukuchitha amandla akho alinganiselwe lapho engashintsha khona okuthile esikhundleni sokungenzi lutho.
Zivumele ukuyizwa esikhundleni sokulwa nayo
Nakhu isinyathelo esizwakala sihlehla sisebenze noma kunjalo. Yeka ukuzama ukuzikhipha ekungakhululekini.
Lapho i-Mayo Clinic Press ibhala ngokubhekana nokungaqiniseki, esinye seziphakamiso zabo zokuqala ukwamukela lokho okuzwayo kunokukususa, nokukunika igama. Ukhathazekile. Wesabile. Ungenamandla. Udabukile. Ukuqamba umzwelo kususa ushiso oluningi ngokumangalisayo kuwo. Uyeka ukuba ngaphakathi komuzwa uqale ukuwubuka, futhi kusuka kuleso sikhala esincane uyekethisa ukubamba kwawo.
Indlela ephambene, leyo iningi lethu eliya kuyo, ukucindezela. Hlala umatasa ngokwanele ukuze ungakuzwa. Ziqinise ukuthi kuzolunga. Ziphazamise kuze kube yisikhathi sokulala. Kuyasebenza ihora bese umuzwa ubuya, ngokuvamile umkhulu, ngokuvamile ngo-3 ekuseni. Ukugwema umzwelo kuvame ukuwondla.
Zama lokhu lapho ukwesaba kunyuka: yima uqedele umusho "njengamanje ngizizwa..." nganoma yikuphi okuyiqiniso ngempela. Qaphela lapho kuhlala khona emzimbeni wakho. Kuvumele kube khona. Akudingeki ukukulungise noma ukukufakazela. Imizwa iyadlula lapho uyeka ukuvimba umnyango wokuphuma.
Buyisela ekhaya kwamanje
Ukungaqiniseki kuhlala ngokuphelele esikhathini esizayo. Ukukhathazeka kuyingqondo yakho ehamba ngesikhathi iya emzuzwini ongakenzeki, ngokuvamile kowodwa ongasoze wenzeke. Isisindo esiphikisayo esithembekile kunazo zonke ukubuyela kwamanje, lapho into esatshwayo ingenzeki khona ngempela.
Yilokho imikhuba yokuzinzisa eyakhelwe khona, futhi ayidingi lutho olukhethekile. Zwa izinyawo zakho phansi. Qaphela izinto ezinhlanu ongazibona, ezine ongazizwa, ezintathu ongazithinta. Phefumula kanye kancane wenze ukuphefumulela ngaphandle kube kude kunokuphefumulela ngaphakathi. Akukho kulokhu okushintsha umphumela. Konke kukhona kukhumbuza umzimba wakho ukuthi kulo mzuzu ncamashi, ulungile, uphephile, awukabi enhlekeleleni.
Kuyasiza futhi ukunika ukukhathazeka isitsha esincane esikhundleni sokukuvumela kusebenze usuku lonke. Abanye abantu basetha "iwindi lokukhathazeka," imizuzu eyishumi nanhlanu noma engamashumi amabili ngesikhathi esifanayo nsuku zonke, lapho bezivumela khona ukukucabanga ngokugcwele. Uma ukukhathazeka kuvela ngaphandle kwalelo windi, bakutshela ukuthi kulinde isikhathi salo. Ngokuvamile, ngesikhathi iwindi lifika, ukushesha sekuphelile kuko.
Futhi qaphela okufakayo. Ukuvuselela njalo izindaba noma izibuyekezo kuzwakala njengokwenza okuthile, kodwa okuningi kwako kugcina i-alamu ivuthelwa isha. Ukubheka kanye noma kabili ezikhathini ezimisiwe kungcono kunokubheka amashumi amane.
Lapho okungaziwa kuyisinqumo ongeke usenze
Akukhona konke ukungaqiniseki okumayelana nokulinda impendulo yomunye umuntu. Ngezinye izikhathi nguwe okumele ukhethe, futhi awukwazi ukubona kude ngokwanele ukwazi ukuthi ukhetha kahle yini. Thatha umsebenzi noma uhlale lapho ukhona. Thutha noma ungathuthi. Yiba nengxoxo enzima noma uyiyeke ihambe. Ukwaziswa obungakudinga ukuze uqiniseke akutholakali nje, ngakho uma, futhi ukuma kuba yindawo yakho yosizi.
Izinto ezimbalwa zenza lokhu kube lula ukukumela:
- Hlosa okuhle ngokwanele, hhayi okuphelele. Kuvame ukungabi khona ithuba elingenaphutha, kuphela elingcono kunawo wonke ongalibona ngalokho okwaziyo namuhla. Ukulindela isiqiniseko ngaphambi kokunquma ngokuvamile kusho ukunquma ngokuzenzakalela, okusengukunquma, kuphela okungazange ukwazi ukukubumba.
- Beka umnqamulajuqu wokukhetha. Ukucabangisisa okungenamkhawulo kondla ukukhathazeka. Ukuzinika usuku oluthembekile lokunquma ngalo kuvimba umbuzo ukuba usebenze unomphela.
- Zibuze ukuthi ubungatshelani umngane. Ngokuvamile sihlakaniphe kakhulu ngezinkinga zabanye abantu kunezethu. Cabanga umuntu omkhathalelayo endaweni yakho ncamashi. Iseluleko obungabanika sona ngokuvamile yiseluleko obusugwema.
- Khumbula ukuthi izinqumo eziningi azihlali unomphela. Izinqumo eziningi zingalungiswa, zibuyiselwe emuva, noma zilungiswe ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Ukuphatha isinqumo esingashintshwa sengathi siqoshiwe etsheni kwenza sesabeke kakhulu kunokuba kudingeka.
Awuyikuhlala ukhetha kahle, futhi lokho kuyingxenye yesivumelwano sokuba umuntu owenza noma yini nhlobo. Ukwenza isinqumo esinengqondo ngokwaziswa okungaphelele bese ukuphila kuqhubeke iningi lalokho okuyimpilo yomuntu omdala. Uvunyelwe ukukwenza lokho ngokungapheleli.
Usukusindile ukungazi ngaphambili
Lokhu kufanele kushiwo ngokusobala ngoba kulula ukukhohlwa ngaphansi kwengcindezi: usuke waphila ngokungaqiniseki ngaphambili, izikhathi eziningi, futhi usekhona.
Cabanga emuva esikhathini ungazi ukuthi into ithombe kanjani futhi ukungazi kwakuzwakala kungabekezeleleki. Ukulinda imiphumela, isinqumo esingaphandle kwezandla zakho, isikhathi lapho konke kwakusemoyeni. Wakudlula. Mhlawumbe umphumela wawumuhle, mhlawumbe wawungemuhle, kodwa noma kunjani wathola ukuthi ungakwazi ukuphatha okuningi kunalokho owawukukholelwa esimeni esibi kunazo zonke sokulinda.
Leyo nkumbulo yidatha. Kokubili i-Mayo Clinic Press ne-APA zikhomba ukusebenzisa isipiliyoni sesikhathi esidlule njengethuluzi langempela lokubhekana, futhi isizathu silula. Ukwesaba kwakho ngesikhathi sokungaqiniseki iningi lako liyindaba yokuthi ngeke ukwazi ukubhekana. Ubufakazi bempilo yakho busho okuhlukile. Usukubhekene ngaphambili. Uzophinda, ngisho noma kudideka.
Umgomo wako konke lokhu akukona ukuba umuntu othanda okungaziwa. Cishe akekho okwenzayo. Ukuba nokukhululeka okwengeziwe ekungakhululekeni, ngendlela obungakha ngayo noma yimaphi amanye amandla, kancane ngesikhathi. Okungaziwa cishe kuzohlala kuzwakala kungakhululeki okungenani kancane. Usengakwazi ukuphila impilo egcwele ngaphakathi kwako.
Lapho ukulinda kukhulu kakhulu ukukuthwala wedwa
Ngezinye izikhathi umthwalo usinda kunohlobo lwansuku zonke olunzima, futhi lawa mathuluzi, nakuba engokoqobo, awanele wodwa. Lokho akukona ukwehluleka. Kungukwaziswa.
Uma ukukhathazeka kukuvimbela ukulala, ukudla, ukusebenza, noma ukuba khona nabantu obathandayo, lokho kufanelekile ukukuletha kudokotela noma umeluleki wengqondo. Ukukhathazeka okuqhubekayo, okungalawuleki ngemiphumela engaqiniseki kungenye yezinto ezelapheka kakhulu ezikhona, futhi izindlela ezakhelwe ngokukhethekile ngokungabekezeleli ukungaqiniseki zinerekhodi eliqinile. Akudingeki udlule kuko ubambelele ngezinzipho.
Finyelela kusenesikhathi, hhayi kamuva, uma ukungaqiniseki kukwenza uzizwe ungenathemba, uma usebenzisa utshwala noma ezinye izidakamizwa ukuze udlule ekulindeni, noma uma ingqondo yakho isiqale ukuya ezicabangweni zokungabi lapha. Lezo yizimpawu zokukhuluma nomuntu manje, namuhla, hhayi emva kokuba enye into ixazululiwe. Umuntu othembekile, udokotela, noma umugqa wezimo eziphuthumayo angakusiza ukukuthwala ngesikhathi isithombe sisengacacile.
Ukulinda kuwuhlobo lwako lomsebenzi, futhi usukwenza. Yiba mnene kancane kuwe okwesikhashana. Uthwele into enzima ngempela, futhi akudingeki ukuyithwale ngokuphelele, noma wedwa.
Imithombo
- American Psychological Association, 10 tips for dealing with the stress of uncertainty
- Mayo Clinic Press, 5 ways to cope with uncertainty
- Neural Plasticity (PubMed Central), From Uncertainty to Anxiety: How Uncertainty Fuels Anxiety in a Process Mediated by Intolerance of Uncertainty
- HelpGuide.org, Dealing with Uncertainty