Amathiphu asheshayo
- Beka isikhathi sakho sokufika nesokuphuma kuqala.
- Yeqa isihutshuzo, wedlulise amazambane.
- Phuma ngaphandle ukuze ukhiphe umoya kanye kancane.
Mhlawumbe yisihlobo esilungisa yonke into oyishoyo. Lowo oletha ipolitiki ngaphambi kokuba ukudla kube setafuleni. Umzali obuyeka ukujaha ukwamukelwa kwakhe eminyakeni edlule kodwa usazizwa udoneleka noma kunjalo. Usuvele wazi ukuthi ubani. Cishe uzizwa uqine kancane esifubeni ngokumane ufunda lokhu.
Nanti okuthile okufanele kushiwo ngokuzwakalayo ngaphambi kokuba siqhubeke: ukwesaba umhlangano womndeni akukwenzi ubande, ungabongi, noma ube yindodana noma indodakazi embi. Kukwenza umuntu onomlando nabanye abantu. Amaholide acindezela wonke umuntu abuyele ezindimeni ezindala. Ungumuntu omdala isikhathi esiningi sonyaka, bese ungena ngomunye umnyango othile bese usuneminyaka eyishumi nane futhi, uzilungiselela.
Awukwazi ukulawula ukuthi lowo muntu ungubani noma uzoziphatha kanjani. Leyo ngxenye akusiyo eyakho ukuyilungisa. Lokho ongakwenza ukunquma, ngaphambi kwesikhathi, ukuthi ingakanani ingxenye yakho ozoyinikela emahoreni anzima. Yiwo wonke umdlalo. Ake senze isu.
Nquma ukuthi yini ngempela oyifunayo osukwini
Ngaphambi kokuhlelwa, yiba qotho ngomgomo. Iningi lethu lingena liphethe iphupho esingeke silisho ngokuzwakalayo: ukuthi lona ngunyaka ekugcineni abasibona ngawo, baxolise, noma bashintshe. Uma kungenzeki, ukudumala kufika njengesilonda esisha nakuba singesidala.
Zama ukushintshanisa lelo phupho ngokuthile ongakufinyelela ngempela. Hhayi "mina nomama sizoxhumana ekugcineni." Okuningi njenge "ngizohlala nginomusa, ngeke ngithathe isihutshuzo, futhi ngizobe ngisekhaya ngo-nine ngizizwa ngilungile." Umgomo ofinyeleleka wenza izinto ezimbili. Ukuvikela ekudumaleni obekungekho emandleni akho ukukuvimbela, futhi ukunika indlela ecacile yokwazi, ekupheleni kobusuku, ukuthi wenze kahle. Uzibambelele. Lokho kuwukunqoba, futhi okungekho ongakuthatha kuwe.
Bona okukuvusa kuqala
Abantu abethuswayo emicimbini yomndeni ngokuvamile yilabo abangena becabanga ukuthi lesi sikhathi sizohluka. Labo abahlala bezinzile bavame ukwazi kahle ukuthi izimayini zisekuphi.
Ngakho yenza uhlu oluthule ngaphambi kwesikhathi. Yini ngokuqondile ekuthola njalo? Mhlawumbe yithoni ethile edelelayo. Amazwana ngesisindo sakho, umsebenzi wakho, isimo sakho sobudlelwano, izingane zakho, noma izinqumo zakho. Ukuphazanyiswa. Indlela umuntu oyedwa amunca ngayo wonke umoya ekamelweni. Ukuqamba lokhu ngaphambi kwesikhathi akukona ukudangala. Kuwukulungiselela. Lapho amazwana ekugcineni efika, ngeke abe ukuhlaselwa. Uzocabanga, nampa, into ebengiyazi iyeza, futhi lokho kubaneka okuncane kokubona kukuthengela umzuzwana wokukhetha impendulo yakho esikhundleni sokuphindisa ngokwemvelo.
Beka imikhawulo ngaphambi kokuba ufike, hhayi ekushiseni kwako
Umngcele umane uyisitatimende esicacile salokho ozokwenza nongeke ukwenze. Akusona isijeziso, futhi akuwona umzamo wokulawula omunye umuntu. Njengoba i-Cleveland Clinic ikubeka, imingcele enempilo idlulisela izidingo zakho ngenkathi isavuma izidingo zabantu abakuzungezile. Imayelana nawe, hhayi mayelana nokunqoba.
Iqhinga ukuthi imingcele ifika kangcono kakhulu lapho uyibeka kusenesikhathi futhi ngokuzola, hhayi phakathi kwengxabano nomhlathi wakho uqinile. Izindlela ezimbalwa lokho okuvame ukubukeka ngazo:
- Khawulela isilinganiso. Awukweleti muntu usuku lonke. Nquma isikhathi sakho sokufika nesokuhamba ngaphambi kwesikhathi, uzishayele noma ugcine eyakho indlela yokugoduka, bese usuzinike ngokuthula indlela yokuphuma engadingi imvume.
- Qamba izihloko ezingavumelekile, kancane. "Angingeni kwezepolitiki namuhla, kunalokho ngingathanda ukujabulela ukudla nje." Kushiwo kanye, ngokufudumele, ngaphambi kokuba ulaka luvuke. Ungase udinge ukukuphinda. Kulungile. Ukuphindaphinda akukona ukungahloniphi.
- Sebenzisa u-"Mina" esikhundleni sika-"Wena." "Ngidinga ukuphuma ngaphandle imizuzu embalwa" akumemi mpi. "Wena uhlala wenza lokhu" iqala eyodwa. Ukugcina ukugxila ezidingweni zakho kwehlisa ukuzivikela komunye umuntu, okuyikho kanye okufunayo.
- Kugcine kufushane. Awudingi indima yokuzithethelela. "Lokho akusebenzi kimi" kuwumusho ophelele. Ukuchaza ngokweqile kunika omunye umuntu izinto eziyishumi nambili zokuphikisana ngazo.
Iqiniso elithule ngemingcele ukuthi isho okuthile kuphela uma uyigcina. Uma uthi uzohamba lapho ukumemeza kuqala, hamba. Ukuqhubeka, ngomusa nangaphandle kwedrama, yikho okufundisa abantu ukuthi umngcele usekuphi ngempela.
Insimu yezimayini zepolitiki, ngokuqondile
Ukungezwani okuningi kwamaholide manje kuza ngomgudu owodwa: umuntu ufuna ukuphikisana ngezindaba. Awucabangi nje ukuthi lokhu sekuvame kangakanani. I-American Psychological Association yabika ukuthi cishe abantu abadala ababili kwabahlanu bahlela ukugwema izihlobo abangavumelani nazo ngamaholide, futhi ngaphezu kohhafu bathemba nje ukugwema ipolitiki etafuleni ngokuphelele. Usesixukwini esikhulu, esikhathele.
Ungazikhipha. Usosayikholoji uTania Israel wenza iphuzu eliwusizo lapha: ungazivaleli emthethweni oqinile wokuthula okuphelele noma impi eqhubekayo. Hlala uguqukayo bese ufunda isikhathi. Uma ingxoxo izwakala sengathi ingase ngempela iye endaweni enomusa, indaba yomuntu siqu ivame ukuvula izingqondo kakhulu kunenqwaba yamaqiniso. Uma kusobala ukuthi kuyisihutshuzo, akudingeki uluqwebe. "Asisoze savumelana ngalokho, futhi ngiyakuthanda noma kunjalo, dlulisa amazambane" ivala umnyango ngaphandle kokuwuvala ngamandla.
Yiba nezindlela ezimbalwa zokuphuma ezilungele ephaketheni lakho langemuva
Ngaleso sikhathi, ingqondo yakho iba mnyama. Ngakho yigcwalise ngaphambi kwesikhathi ngezenzo ezincane ezimbalwa eziphindaphindekayo ongazifinyelela ngaphandle kokucabanga:
- Shintsha isiteshi. Buza umuntu ngokuthile abakuthandayo ngempela. Abantu kuyivelakancane ukuthi baqhubeke bekuhlaba ngenkathi bekhuluma ngengadi yabo, abazukulu babo, noma umdlalo.
- Thola umsebenzi. Zinikele ukusiza ekhishini, uphathe isitsha uzungeze, uhambise inja. Ukunyakaza kuyindlela ehloniphekile ngokuphelele yokushiya ingxoxo.
- Thatha ikhefu lendlu yangasese ongalidingi. Imizuzu emibili wedwa, ukukhipha umoya kanye okude okumnene, amahlombe phansi, bese usuwusethe kabusha umzimba wakho ngaphambi kokuba ubuyele phakathi.
- Thola umngane wakho. Imihlangano eminingi inomuntu oyedwa ophephile okungenani, umzala, umfowenu noma udadewenu, iphathina yakho. Bamba iso labo. Ukwazi ukuthi umuntu oyedwa uyakubona okwenzekayo kungakuthwala ibanga elide.
Akukho kwalezi okunedrama. Yilo iphuzu. Umgomo akukona ukunqoba ikamelo. Kuwukugcina izinyawo zakho ngaphansi kwakho.
Emva kwako, yiba ohlangothini lwakho
Lapho ufika ekhaya, melana nesifiso sokuphinda konke okushintshanisiwe uzinike amamaki ngako. Ubusesimweni esinzima futhi usidlulile. Lokho kuyabalwa. Yenza okuthile okukugcwalisa ngempela, ukuhamba, uhlelo oluthandayo, ukushayela umuntu okulula ukuba naye. Iseluleko esisobala se-APA ngokucindezeleka kwamaholide ukuvikela izinto eziyisisekelo, ubuthongo, ukunyakaza, nesikhathi esincane esingesakho ngempela, ngoba yizo ezigcina ukucindezeleka kwakho kungaqongelelani usuku nosuku.
Futhi zinike imvume yokuzwa izinto ezimbili ngasikhathi sinye. Ungakhululeka ukuthi kuphelile kodwa usadabukile kancane ukuthi bekungafudumele. Kokubili kuyavunyelwa. Iningi lezinto zomndeni lihlala kulowo muzwa ophindiwe.
Lapho kungaphezu kweholide elinzima
Kukhona umehluko phakathi kwesihlobo esikhathazayo nobudlelwano obukulimazayo. Uma ukuba nelungu lomndeni kukushiya wethukile ngempela, uma kukhona noma yikuphi ukuhlukunyezwa, noma uma ukwesaba kungena ebuthongweni bakho, esifisweni sakho sokudla, noma ekhonweni lakho lokusebenza amasonto ngesikhathi seholide, lokho kufanele okwengeziwe kunecebo lokubhekana nako. Umelaphi angakusiza ukuthola ukuthi yini oyikweletayo, yini ongayikweleti, nokuthi ibanga elinempilo kakhulu lingabukeka linjani, kufaka phakathi, kwabanye abantu, isilinganiso esincane kakhulu sokuxhumana noma singabikho nhlobo. Ukukhetha ukuphepha kwakho ngaphezu kwesibopho akukona ukuzicabangela. Ngezinye izikhathi kuyinto enothando kunazo zonke ongayenza, ngenxa yakho futhi, ekugcineni, nangenxa yobudlelwano futhi.
Akudingeki ulungise wonke umndeni wakho kulo nyaka. Udinga nje ukudlula amahora ambalwa ukuthula kwakho kuseningi. Lokho kwanele. Zenzele kalula lapho ungena, kube lula nakakhulu lapho uphuma.
Imithombo
- American Psychological Association, Political tensions threaten to compound holiday stress
- Cleveland Clinic, How To Set Boundaries in Healthy Ways
- American Psychological Association, Holidays don't have to mean excess stress. It's time to reframe your thoughts