Amathiphu asheshayo
- Qamba ngokuthulile igama lomuzwa ukuze uwuthambise.
- Yenza kancane ukuphefumula kokuphuma ngaphambi kokuphendula.
- Buza ukuthi yini enye engenzeka.
Kufika umlayezo. Ithoni ayilungile, noma kwathathwa isinqumo ngaphandle kwakho, noma othile uthathe udumo ngomsebenzi obungowakho. Ukuzwa emzimbeni wakho ungakacabangi ngisho nomcabango owodwa ocacile. Ukushisa ebusweni. Ukuqina. Impendulo isivele ibhalwe uhhafu ekhanda lakho, futhi ibukhali kunanoma yini obungayikhetha ngosuku oluhle.
Okwenzeka emizuzwaneni embalwa elandelayo kuvame ukubaluleka ngaphezu kwalokho abantu abakunika khona. Hhayi isimo ngokwaso. Imizuzwana elandelayo.
Iningi lethu asizange sifundiswe ukuthi leyo mizuzwana iyindawo esingama kuyo. Sibheka ukugubha kwemizwa nempendulo njengento eyodwa, sengathi kunanyaniselwe ndawonye. Akunjalo. Kunegebe khona lapho, elincane futhi elibhaqekayo kalula, futhi ukufunda ukulithola kungenye yamakhono athule kakhulu, awusizo kakhulu umuntu angawakha. Kuwumehluko phakathi kokuzihola nokudonswa nganoma yini esanda kwenzeka.
Kungani ukusabela ngokushesha kuzwakala kunengqondo kangaka
Ijubane akulona iphutha lobuntu bakho. Iyindlela owakhiwe ngayo.
Ekujuleni kwesibhakabhaka sengqondo kuhlezi i-amygdala, isakhiwo esincane esihlola izinsongo futhi sisheshe sishaye. Uma sinquma ukuthi okuthile kuyingozi, sithumela isignali yosizi eqalisa impendulo yengcindezi yomzimba, lokho abantu abavame ukukubiza ngokulwa-noma-ubaleke. I-Harvard Health iyichaza ngokusobala leli ketango: i-amygdala iphawula ingozi, isexwayiso siyasabalala, i-adrenaline igcwala, futhi umzimba wakho uzilungiselela ukwenza ngaphambi kokuba ingxenye eyenza kancane, ecabangayo yengqondo yakho ibe nezwi.
Leyo sistimu yagcina okhokho bethu bephila. Inkinga ukuthi ayiwazi umehluko phakathi kwesilo esizingelayo ne-imeyili enolaka olufihliwe. Ukuzwa sengathi uhlaselwe umsebenzi okanye ungaqalisa incingo efanayo neyengozi yangempela yomzimba, futhi lapho kwenzeka, ingxenye ecabangayo yengqondo yakho ithula khona kanye lapho uyidinga khona kakhulu. UDaniel Goleman wanika inguqulo enkulu yalokhu igama abantu abalikhumbulayo: ukuthunjwa kwe-amygdala, umzuzu isexwayiso esidlula ngawo ukwahlulela bese wenza into obungeke uyivume unekhanda elipholile.
Ngakho umuzwa osheshayo, oqinisekile wokuthi kumele uphendule khona manje ungowangempela. Nje awethembeki. Cishe akukho lutho emsebenzini oludinga ngempela impendulo esheshayo. Ukushesha kuyingcindezi ekhulumayo, hhayi isimo.
Ukumisa isikhashana kusetshenziselwani ngempela
Cabanga ngokumisa isikhashana njengesikhathi esithathwa ukwahlulela kwakho ukuze kubuyele etafuleni.
Lapho isexwayiso sishaya, ulahlekelwa ithuba lokucabanga kwakho okungcono kancane. Nikeza umzuzwana bese lelo thuba libuya. Ukumisa isikhashana akumayelana nokugwinya lokho okuzwayo noma ukuzenza upholile. Kumayelana nokungenzi kusuka engxenyeni yakho engahlomele kahle ukwenza kahle. Ubungeke uvumele umuntu owethuke kakhulu egumbini ukuba enze isinqumo. Imizuzwana embalwa, lowo muntu nguwe.
UGoleman ukufaka lokhu endleleni achaza ngayo ukuzilawula emsebenzini wakhe wobuholi: ikhono lokulawula noma lokuqondisa kabusha imizwa ephazamisayo, umkhuba wokumisa ukwahlulela nokucabanga ngaphambi kokwenza. Qaphela ukuthi lokho kuyini nokuthi akukho yini. Akukhona ukungathukutheli noma ukungezwa lutho. Kungukuzimisela ukubeka igebe elincane phakathi komuzwa nesenzo.
Nansi ingxenye okumele ikhiphe ingcindezi ethile. Akudingeki uwine impikiswano nemizwa yakho kuleyo mizuzwana. Kumele nje ungayithumeli i-imeyili.
Izindlela ezimbalwa zokwenza igebe libe lide
Umgomo akuwona ukungaze uzwe ukugubha. Uzoluzwa. Umgomo ukwakha isinyathelo esiyingxenye esethembekile phakathi kokukuzwa nokwenza ngakho. Izinto ezimbalwa zisiza ngempela.
Qamba igama lalokho okuzwayo
Lokhu kuzwakala kulula kakhulu ukuthi kungasebenza, kodwa kusekelwa okunye ucwaningo olumangalisa kakhulu kulo mkhakha. Iqembu lase-UCLA elaliholwa uMatthew Lieberman lathola ukuthi isenzo esilula sokubeka umuzwa emazwini, uwubize ngentukuthelo, uwubize ngokulimala, sinciphisa umsebenzi we-amygdala futhi silethe indawo elawulayo ye-prefrontal cortex ukuba isebenze. Ukuqamba igama lomuzwa kuyawuthulisa. Abanye abantu bakubiza ngokuthi "qamba igama ukuze uwuthambise."
Awudingi ukukumemezela kunoma ubani. Ekhanda lakho kwanele. "Ngithukuthele njengamanje." "Ngizizwa nginamahloni." Leso senzo esincane sokubeka igama sikususa, ngisho kancane, ekubeni ngaphakathi emuzweni uye ekuwubukeni. Futhi ingxenye yakho ekwazi ukubuka umuzwa yingxenye ekwazi ukukhetha okuzokwenza okulandelayo.
Yenza kancane ukuphefumula kokuphuma
Awukwazi ukucabanga uze ube nokuthula ngenkathi umzimba wakho usasexwayisweni. Indlela esheshayo yokubuya idlula emphefumulweni wakho. Ukuphefumula okuphumayo okukodwa okude, okwenziwe kancane, okude kunokungenayo, kuthumela uhlelo lwakho lwezinzwa isignali yangempela yokuthi isimo esiphuthumayo siphelile. Izinyawo phansi. Amahlombe phansi. Awenzi ukuthula. Unika umzimba wakho isibonelelo esiwudingayo ukuze ubuyisele ingqondo yakho.
Thenga isikhathi ngomusho
Akukhona konke ukumisa isikhashana okungathula. Ngezinye izikhathi usemhlanganweni, ocingweni, futhi kulindeleke impendulo. Gcina imisho embalwa eqotho, esekulungele ngqo lokhu:
- "Ake ngihlale nalokho bese ngibuyela kuwe."
- "Umbuzo omuhle. Ngifuna ukukunika impendulo yangempela, hhayi esheshayo."
- "Ngidinga umzuzu kulokhu."
Akukho nokukodwa kwalokhu okukwenza ubukeke ubuthakathaka. Kukwenza ubukeke njengomuntu ozimpendulo zakhe kufanele zilindwe.
Buza indaba engaphansi
Ukushisa okuningi kuvela endabeni osuyakhile mayelana nokwenzekile. Bakudelele. Bacabanga ukuthi awukwazi. Embhalweni we-Harvard Business Review omayelana nokuhlala uzinzile ezikhathini ezicindezelayo, uJoseph Grenny ukhomba ukuthi imizwa yethu ivela kancane emicimbini uqobo kunasezindabeni esizixoxela zona ngayo, nokuthi lezo zindaba zivame ukuba yidrafthi yokuqala, hhayi iqiniso. Ekumiseni isikhashana, uyakwazi ukubuza umbuzo owodwa othulile: yini enye engenzeka lapha? Mhlawumbe babejahile. Mhlawumbe babengazi. Mhlawumbe bekungahlangene nawe. Akudingeki ukholwe indaba enomusa kakhulu. Kudingeka nje ukuthi udedele ukubamba kwakho endabeni embi kakhulu.
Lapho ukumisa isikhashana kulokhu kwehluleka
Ngezinye izikhathi wenza konke kahle kodwa usaqhuma. Lokho kwenzeka kuwo wonke umuntu, futhi umzuzu owodwa olahlekile akuyona isilinganiso sakho. Abantu abakukhumbulayo ukuthi ubuye wakuvuma yini. "Bengibukhali kuwe ekuqaleni, futhi lokho kungiphathelene nami" kulungisa okungaphezu kwerekhodi eliphelele obelingakwenza.
Kodwa naka amaphethini. Uma ugcwala izikhathi eziningi ngosuku, uma izinto ezincane zivusa izimpendulo ezizwakala zinkulu kakhulu, uma intukuthelo noma ukwesaba kubambelela amahora ngemva kwalokho, noma uma kukubiza ubudlelwano nobuthongo, lokho kufanelwe ukuthathwa ngokungathi sína. Iphethini enjalo ngokuvamile ayimayelani nezwe namandla entando kodwa imayelana nohlelo lwezinzwa olusebenza lushisa kakhulu isikhathi eside kakhulu, ngezinye izikhathi ngenxa yengcindezi engapheli, ngezinye izikhathi ngenxa yezinto ezisemuva. Akukho kwalokho okuyisici okumele usidlule wedwa. Udokotela wezengqondo noma udokotela wakho angakusiza uthole ukuthi yini ekushayelayo nokuthi yini engakuzothisa ngempela. Ukufuna usizo olunjalo akulona uphawu lokuthi ukumisa isikhashana kwehlulekile. Kuyikhono elifanayo, elisetshenziswe ngobuhlakani: ukwazi ukuthi kunini into ekuphambi kwakho inkulu kunomphefumulo owodwa.
Igebe phakathi kokwenzekayo nalokho okwenzayo lincane. Futhi lelakho. Izinsuku eziningi, umsebenzi wonke ukumela kulo umzuzwana owodwa owengeziwe ngaphambi kokunquma.
Imithombo
- Harvard Health Publishing, Understanding the stress response
- UCLA Health, Putting Feelings Into Words Produces Therapeutic Effects in the Brain
- Harvard Business Review, 4 Ways to Control Your Emotions in Tense Moments
- Harvard Business Review, What Makes a Leader?