Amathiphu asheshayo
- Nquma inombolo yakho ngaphambi kokuba izinto zishise.
- Yehlisa izwi lakho lapho abanye beliphakamisa elabo.
- Vuma iphutha, bese ubuyela kukho.
Umhlangano uphenduka kabi. Umuntu ukhwahlela omunye, izinombolo zimbi, futhi phakathi cishe komzuzu owodwa igumbi lonke selinganile. Amahlombe ayaphakama. Abantu bayeka ukunikela ngemibono. Ungezwa umoya ushintsha. Nakhu okuxakayo: ungene ukahle, futhi manje usunganile nawe, futhi ungeke usho ncamashi ukuthi lokho kwenzeka nini.
Lelo yithemomitha lenza lokho amathemomitha akwenzayo. Lifunda izinga lokushisa elizungezayo bese libika emuva. Noma yikuphi igumbi eliyikho, ithemomitha liba yikho. Iningi lethu lisebenza kuleso silungiselelo isikhathi esiningi ngaphandle kokusikhetha. Umphathi unovalo, ngakho siba novalo. Umngane uyaphenduka, ngakho siphenduka naye. Usuku lusinika umoya bese siyawugqoka.
I-thermostat isebenza ngendlela ehlukile. Nayo iyalizwa igumbi. Kodwa ayibiki nje izinga lokushisa. Iyalibeka. Ibamba inombolo bese isebenza ngokuthulile ukuletha igumbi kuyo. Uma igumbi liba lakhaza, ayibi lakhaza kanye nawo wonke umuntu. Ikhipha ukushisa.
Ungaba noma yikuphi kwakho. Umehluko phakathi kwazo yikho okuningi abantu abakushoyo lapho bethi umuntu uzinzile.
Futhi lokhu kubalulekile ngaphezu kakhulu kwemihlangano. I-thermostat nethemomitha kuvela etafuleni lokudlela lapho ingane esikhulile ibuya ihlukumezekile, emotweni lapho isiminyaminya nosuku olubi kuqubukana khona, kumucu wemiyalezo lapho uvalo lomngane oyedwa lusongela ukuba lube olwabo bonke. Isilungiselelo osebenza kuso singenye yezinqumo ezithule kakhulu, eziqhubekayo owenza. Iningi lethu alilokothi liqaphele ukuthi liyazenza.
Kungani amagumbi ebamba umoya kwasekuqaleni
Lokhu akuwona umbono wobuntu. Kunemishini yangempela ngemuva kwakho.
Imizwa iyathelelana. Siyithatha komunye nomunye ngendlela esithatha ngayo ukuzamula, ikakhulukazi ngaphansi kwezinga lokwazi, ngephimbo lezwi, ukuma kobuso, ukushesha komuntu ekhuluma, ukuqina kwesimo somzimba. Abacwaningi babiza lokhu ngokuthi ukuthelelana kwemizwa (emotional contagion), futhi omunye wabantu ababekufunda ngokucophelela kakhulu, uSolwazi u-Sigal Barsade wase-Wharton osewashona, wakhombisa ukuthi umoya womuntu oyedwa ungasakazeka bese ushintsha indlela iqembu lonke elizizwa futhi lisebenza ngayo ndawonye. Umoya uyahamba. Awuceli imvume.
Nakhu ingxenye ebalulekile uma umuntu eke wabheka kuwe. Abantu banaka kakhulu noma ubani abambona njengophethe, okusho ukuthi isimo sakho sifinyelela kude kunalokho ocabanga. Hhayi ngoba unomsindo, kodwa ngoba ubukwa ngamayeza. Igumbi lithatha ukufunda kwalo kuwe noma ubuhlose ukunikela ngakho noma cha. Usuvele uthinta izinga lokushisa, nsuku zonke, kuwo wonke amagumbi. Awunakuphuma kulokho. Ukhetha kuphela ukuthi kuya ngakuphi.
Lokhu akulona iqiniso emimoyeni emibi kuphela. Isazi sengqondo uDaniel Goleman, ebhala ku-Harvard Business Review ngalokho akubiza ngokuthi ubuholi obuyisisekelo (primal leadership), waveza ukuthi umsebenzi wokuqala womholi ungowemizwa, ukuthi ukuzinza nokufudumala phezulu kudala into ayibiza ngokuthi ukuvumelana (resonance), uhlobo lwesisekelo esihle esabelwana ngaso esiveza umsebenzi omuhle kubantu. Uhlangothi oluphambene lulona luyiqiniso. Uma umuntu obeka isivinini eqhaqhazela, lokho futhi kuyaqhaqhazela, futhi kusakazeka kwehle kuwo wonke umuntu. Izinga lokushisa oliphethe akulona uhlelo lwesimo sezulu esiyimfihlo. Kuyisimo sezulu sokuqala segumbi.
Ukusabela kuzwakala njengokulawula. Akunjalo.
Kunesizathu sokuthi ukuba yithemomitha kube yiyona ndlela ejwayelekile. Kuzwakala kukhiqiza. Uma igumbi lishisa nawe ushisa nalo, umzimba wakho uqinisekile ukuthi wenza okuthile okubalulekile.
Okwenzeka ngempela kusondele ekuthathweni. Ngaphansi kokwenyuka kwengcindezi yangempela, isikhungo esincane sokuxwayisa ekujuleni kobuchopho, i-amygdala, singavusa impendulo yokulwa-noma-ukubaleka ngaphambi kokuthi ingxenye eyisithuli, ecabangayo yakho iyifice. I-Cleveland Clinic ikuchaza ngokusobala: engozini, i-amygdala ingathatha isokhwe ukukuvikela. Ijubane lenhliziyo liyakhuphuka, ukuphefumula kuyashesha, umzimba uyaziqinisa. Lokho kuyisipho lapho kunebhere langempela. Kuyingozi emhlanganweni webhajethi, ngoba ukwenyuka okufanayo obekungakusiza ukugijima kuthulisa ngqo ingxenye yobuchopho bakho oyidingayo ukuze wahlulele.
Ngakho isimo sokusabela sithwele izindleko zangempela. Sibiza. Ucace kancane kakhulu kanye lapho uqume ukuthi umzuzu ubaluleke kakhulu. Sonke sike sathumela i-imeyili ebesingeke siyithumele imizuzu eyishumi kamuva, noma sasho into engxoxweni eshisayo eyathatha iviki ukuyibuyisela emuva. Lelo yithemomitha, elivumelana nokushisa kwegumbi lelibiza kuphuthuma. Umzimba wawuzizwa uqinisekile ukuthi wenza ngokuqinisekile. Wawuvele usakaza ukuxwayisa.
Ukuba yi-thermostat akusho ukuthi uyeka ukuzwa ukushisa. Ukuzwa konke kwako. Awudingi nje ukuba yikho.
Kubiza ini ukuba yithemomitha unomphela
Abanye babantu abanomusa, abanaka kakhulu obaziyo bangamathemomitha kuze kube phansi. Bangena endlini enganile bamunce ukungana. Bahlala nomngane osenkingeni bese behamba bethwele inkinga. Bazwa yonke into ebazungezile ngokuphelele kangangokuthi abazi ukuthi igumbi liphelela kuphi bona baqale kuphi. Ngaphandle lokhu kungabukeka njengozwelo. Ngokuvamile kuyinto esondele ekungabini ne-thermostat nhlobo.
Izindleko zivela kancane. Uma isimo sakho sangaphakathi sihlala sibekwa yinoma yini ehlokoma eduze, awuphumuli nhlobo ngempela. Uyaqhutshwa, ihora nehora, isimo sezulu sabanye abantu. Leyo yindlela esheshayo eya ohlotsheni lokukhathala ubuthongo obungabuthinti. Ivame futhi ukukwenza ube usizo oluncane kubona kanye abantu ozama ukubasiza, ngoba umuntu ominza kanye nawe akakwazi ukufinyelela phansi akudonse.
I-thermostat isazwa amakhaza. Iphuzu lonke ukuthi izwa igumbi ngokunembile. Into engayenzi ukuxuba izinga lokushisa legumbi nelayo bese iyavuma kulo. Kunesikhala esincane, esiqinile phakathi 'kokuthi ngiyabona ukuthi leli gumbi linovalo' 'nokuthi manje senginovalo.' Ukufunda ukuphila kuleso sikhala kuyingxenye enkulu yomsebenzi. Kuyindlela, ngokuthulile, yokuzivikela, hhayi ukubanda. Ugcina isisekelo sakho ukuze ube nokuthile onganikela ngakho.
Indlela yokubamba isilungiselelo
Izindaba ezinhle ukuthi i-thermostat akuyona ubuchopho obuzolile ngokwengeziwe. Kuyimikhuba embalwa emincane, eyenziwa lapho kungekho lutho olulahlekele, ukuze itholakale lapho kukhona okuthile. Akukho kulokhu okudinga isihloko noma ihhovisi lasekhoneni. Kusebenza ekhishini lomndeni nakuxoxo lweqembu njengasekamelweni lomhlangano.
- Nquma inombolo yakho ngaphambi kokuba igumbi lishise. I-thermostat isebenza ngoba umuntu wayibeka kusengaphambili. Khetha, ngomzuzu othule, ukuthi ufuna ukuvela kanjani ngempela lapho izinto zilimala. Uzinzile. Unelukuluku esikhundleni sokuzivikela. Umuntu obuza umbuzo olandelayo osizayo. Uma uyiqambe kusengaphambili, unokuthile okumele ukujonge okungekhona nje noma yini ozizwa ngayo.
- Qaphela ukubamba njengoba kwenzeka. Ikhono elingaphansi kwakho konke lokhu ukubamba umzuzu umoya wegumbi ufinyelela kuwe, ukusha, isifiso sokuphindisela, ukuqina esifubeni sakho. Awukwazi ukukhetha ngokuhlukile uma ungaqapheli ukuthi uyakhetha. Ukukuqamba ngokuthulile kuyasiza. 'Igumbi linovalo. Ngiyaluthatha.' Lelo qhaza elincane lokuhlukanisa yilapho inkululeko yakho ihlala khona.
- Beka umkhawulo phakathi komuzwa nesenzo. Cishe akukho okudinga ngempela ukusabela ngokushesha, nakuba ingcindezi izophikelela ukuthi konke kuyakudinga. Ukuphefumula okukodwa okuhambisa kancane. Umusho owodwa wokubambezela: 'Ake ngihlale nalokho okwesikhashana.' Lelo qhaza lincane, futhi lanele ukuvumela ukucabanga kwakho ukuthi kubuye kuvuleke ngaphambi kokuthi wenze.
- Zolisa umzimba, bese wethemba ingqondo. Awukwazi ukucabanga ngendlela eya ekuzoleni ngenkathi umzimba wakho usasezingeni lokuxwayisa. Ukuphefumula okude, okuhambisa kancane kwenza okungaphezulu kulowo mzuzu kunanoma yiliphi izwi lokukhuthaza. Izinyawo phansi. Amahlombe phansi. Yenza ukuxwayiswa komzimba kuthule, futhi ukucabanga okucacile kuvame ukulandela kokwakho.
- Khipha ukushisa ngamabomu. Yile ngxenye eguqula ithemomitha elizolile kakhulu libe yi-thermostat yangempela. Yehlisa izwi lakho kancane lapho abanye beliphakamisa. Yehlisa isivinini lapho igumbi lisheshisa. Buza umbuzo owodwa ozolile, ocacile. Awenzi sengathi akukho okungalungile. Unikela igumbi izinga lokushisa elehlukile ukuze liye kulo, futhi isikhathi esimangazayo, liyakwenza.
Lokhu akufani nokwenza ukuthi uzolile
Kufanelekile ukucaca ngokuthi i-thermostat ayikho, ngoba lo mfanekiso uyafundeka ngokungeyikho. Ukubamba isilungiselelo akukhona ukunamathisela ubuso obuzolile ngenkathi uwohloka ngaphakathi ngokuthulile. Abantu bangazwa umehluko phakathi kokuzinza kwangempela nokudlala kwako, noma bengakwazi ukuqamba ukuthi yini engalungile. Ukuzola okuphoqelelwe ngokuvamile kwenza igumbi libe novalo kakhulu, hhayi kancane, ngoba manje kunokungahambisani emoyeni futhi izinzwa zawo wonke umuntu zizama ukuthola ukuthi yini engalungile.
Futhi akukhona ukwenza sengathi into enzima ayinzima. I-thermostat enkingeni yangempela ayithi konke kulungile. Ithi okuthile okuyiqiniso kakhulu nokuzinzile. 'Le yinkinga yangempela. Nakhu into yokuqala esizoyenza ngayo.' Ukuzola kusesisekelweni, hhayi ekuphikeni.
Cabanga ngomehluko ekushintshaniseni okukodwa. Umsebenzi ohambisana naye ugijima engena, izwi liqinile, ethi iphrojekthi yonke iyawohloka. Impendulo yethemomitha ihambisana nezinga: 'Ima, ini? Iwohloka kanjani? Lokhu kubi.' Manje kunabantu ababili abavuthayo. Impendulo ye-thermostat ibamba inombolo yayo. Ukuphefumula. Izwi elihamba kancane. 'Kulungile. Ngitshele ukuthi kwenzekeni.' Ulwazi olufanayo, ubungozi obufanayo. Impendulo eyodwa iphinda kabili ukushisa egumbini. Enye inikeza omunye umuntu indawo epholile yokuma. Futhi ungabona amahlombe abo ehla njengoba beqala ukucabanga futhi. Awukalungisi lutho. Ushintshe izinga lokushisa abazoxazulula inkinga kulo, futhi lokho kushintsha okungenzeka.
Lapho isilungiselelo sishelela
Uzokulahlekelwa ngezinye izikhathi. Igumbi lizonqoba, uzokhwahlela, futhi uzozibamba maphakathi nomusho ozozisola ngawo. Lokho akukhona ukuhluleka. Kungukuba ngumuntu.
Abantu abakukhumbula ngempela yilokho okwenzayo okulandelayo. 'Bengiqinile kuwe ekuqaleni, futhi lokho bekungalungile' kufundisa wonke umuntu ozwayo ukuthi umzuzu oshisayo akusona ukuphela komhlaba, ukuthi ukuzinza kuyinto obuyela kuyo, hhayi into onayo noma ongenayo. Ukululama nakho kuyathelelana. Awudingi ukubamba izinga lokushisa ngokuphelele. Kufanele ubuyele kulo.
Futhi kukhona umkhawulo oqotho ofanele ukushiwo ngokusobala. Uma uthola ukuthi awukwazi ukubamba noma yikuphi ukuzinza, ukuthi ukhukhulekile izinsuku eziningi, ukhwahlela abantu obathandayo, ulele uvuke uphinda kabusha, noma uthwele uvalo olungasususeki, lokho akuyona inkinga yentando futhi akukho ukuphefumula okuzokulungisa. Yilelo phuzu lokukhuluma nodokotela noma nochwepheshe wengqondo. Ukuzinza kuyikhono ongalakha, futhi kuyinto ngezinye izikhathi odinga usizo ukuze ubuyele kuyo. Ukufinyelela lolo sizo yiyona nto eyi-thermostat kakhulu ongayenza.
Amagumbi amaningi ongena kuwo alindele ukutshelwa ukuthi izinga lokushisa lizoba yini. Othile uzolibeka. Kungaba umuntu ozolile kunabo bonke lapho.
Imithombo
- Knowledge at Wharton, Leadership Influence: Controlling Emotional Contagion
- Harvard Business Review, Primal Leadership: The Hidden Driver of Great Performance
- Cleveland Clinic, Amygdala: A Small Part of Your Brain's Biggest Abilities