Indlela Yokugwema Izinqumo Ezisabelayo Uma Usengcindezini

Iziningi izinqumo ozizisolayo azithathanga sikhathi eside ukuzenza. Yilelo iphethini. Impendulo esheshayo, isixwayiso ongazange usiqonde, isikhalo sokusula esithayiphwe ngo-11 ebusuku, ikhasimende olixoshe ngokuphazima kolaka. Zinezimpawu ezifanayo. Isivinini. Ukushisa. Umuzwa, ngaleso sikhathi, wokuthi ukwenza manje kwakuwukuphela kwenketho etafuleni.

Cishe kwakungenjalo.

Lokho okwakuzwakala njengokuqinisela isinqumo ngokuvamile kwakuyinto ehlukile: ukusabela kwakho engcindezini kwenza isinqumo egameni lakho. Futhi lapho usuqonda okwenzeka ngempela kulezo zikhathi, uyeka ukukuphatha njengesici sobuntu bakho uqale ukukuphatha njengesehlakalo somzimba esibikezelekayo ongahlelela kuso.

Kungani ingcindezi inikeza isondo lokushayela kumshayeli ongafanele

Ubuchopho bakho bunezindlela ezimbili, cishe, zokusingatha isimo. Enye iyephuza, iyahlolisisa, futhi ilungele ukukala izinketho, ukuhlala nemininingwane emincane, nokucabanga ukuthi izinto zizohamba kanjani. Enye isheshayo, iyazenzakalela, futhi yakhelwe ingozi: ibamba impendulo eseduze ejwayelekile bese iyagijima.

Ngaphansi kwengcindezi, eyesibili iyathatha.

Lokhu kubhalwe kahle. Ukubuyekezwa kwango-2024 ku-*Brain, Behavior, & Immunity - Health* kuchaza indlela ingcindezi enkulu egcwalisa ngayo ubuchopho ngamakhemikhali engcindezi aphazamisa i-prefrontal cortex, isifunda esinesibopho sokucabanga ngokucophelela, okuqondiswe emgomeni, kanti sikhuphula umsebenzi ku-amygdala nasezindaweni zobuchopho ezisabela ngokushesha. Umphumela wushintsho abacwaningi abaluchaza ngokusobala: ngaphansi kwengcindezi, ukuziphatha okuguqukayo, okuqondiswe emgomeni, kudedela ukusabela okuqinile kakhulu, kwesigqugquzeli-nempendulo. Ubuyela emkhubeni. Ulandela umuzwa wangaphakathi. Wenza kube lula.

Kunesizathu sokuthi ubuchopho bakho bakhiwe ngale ndlela. Uma into ikuxosha ngempela, awufuni ukukala izinketho eziyisikhombisa. Ufuna ukunyakaza. Uhlelo olusheshayo luyisici sokusinda, futhi kuwo wonke umlando omude wokuba ngumuntu lusigcine siphila.

Inkinga ukuthi cishe akukho lutho emsebenzini noma empilweni yesimanje olukuxosha ngempela. I-imeyili enokungqubuzana, inombolo emangazayo, ozakwenu okwephulele emhlanganweni, akukho kukho okudinga impendulo yohhafu wesekhondi. Kodwa umzimba wakho awukwazi ngaso sonke isikhathi ukwehlukanisa phakathi kwesilwane esizingelayo sangempela nomyalezo we-Slack, ngakho usebenzisa umshini ofanayo kukho kokubili. Uthola umzimba onjengowesimo esiphuthumayo enkingeni ebingasizakala kangcono ngokuhamba nobuthongo bobusuku.

Isimo sesinqumo esisabelayo

Izinqumo ezisabelayo zivame ukubukeka ngendlela ethile ngaphakathi. Ukufunda ukwazi lesi simo kuyingxenye enkulu yempi.

Zizwakala ziphuthuma ngendlela engalingani nobungako bangempela. Kunamandla kuzo, umuzwa wokuthi ifasitela liyavaleka njengamanje.

Ziwela emikhawulweni. Ebhala ku-*Harvard Business Review*, uRon Carucci uphawula ukuthi ingcindezi isakha ukuba sisabele kakhulu, incishise futhi yenze lula izinketho zethu zibe yizinto zakho-konke-noma-lutho. Yeka noma uhlale. Bhekana nakho noma ukugwinye. Baxoshe noma uxolele konke. Iphakathi elinengqondo, uhlobo lapho ubuza umbuzo owodwa ongeziwe noma ulinda usuku, liyanyamalala kanye lapho ulidinga khona.

Ziqondiswe ekwehliseni umuzwa, hhayi ekuxazululeni inkinga. Iziningi izinqumo ezisabelayo empeleni ziyimizamo nje yokwenza umuzwa ongakhululeki uyeke. Ukuthumela impendulo enolaka kukhipha ulaka. Akuvamile ukulungisa into eyakubangela.

Futhi zize nokunambitheka okujwayelekile emva kwaso. Lowo muzwa ocwilayo wokuthi "kungani ngenze lokho" ngokuvamile uvela emva kwemizuzu engamashumi amabili, kanye lapho umzimba wakho uzola i-prefrontal cortex yakho ibuye ivuke bese ibuza ukuthi wawucabangani vele.

Uma noma yikuphi kwalokho kuzwakala kujwayelekile, awunganaki futhi awunamawala ngokwemvelo. Wawusebenza, isikhashana, ukucabanga kwakho okungcono kususiwe.

Zithengele isikhala

Isenzo esisodwa esiwusizo kunazo zonke yiso futhi esingakhangi kakhulu. Beka isikhathi phakathi kwesiqalisi nesenzo.

Ukuqubuka kwamakhemikhali engcindezi kunamandla, kodwa kufushane futhi. Ingxenye enkulu kunazo zonke idlula ngemizuzu uma uyeka ukukondla. Ukuma okuncane njengokuphefumula okumbalwa okuhambisayo, noma okukhulu njengokuthi "ngizonquma kusasa ekuseni," kuvumela umzimba wakho ukuthi wehle ngokwanele ukuze isahlulelo sakho sibuye sijoyine ingxoxo. Awuyibalekeli isinqumo. Wenqaba ukusenza ngaphakathi kwesexwayiso.

Ezinye izindlela ezisebenzayo zesikhala:

• Bhala umyalezo. Ungawuthumeli. Wugcine bese uwufunda kabusha ekuseni. Uma usabonakala ulungile ngaleso sikhathi, wuthumele. Ngokuvamile ngeke ube umyalezo ofanayo.
• Yenza ukuthi "ake ngikubuyele" kube yinto ejwayelekile. Cishe asikho isinqumo esihle esonakaliswa ngamahora ambalwa. Eziningi ezimbi zivinjelwa yiwo.
• Sebenzisa ukusetha kabusha komzimba ngaphambi kwanoma yini ebalulekile. Sukuma, uhambe uyothola amanzi, uphefumule ngokuphuma okukodwa okude nokuhambisayo. Awukwazi ukucabanga uze uzole ngesikhathi umzimba wakho usalungele.
• Beka umthetho wakho siqu wezicupho zakho ozaziyo. Abanye abantu abenzi izinqumo zemali uma bekhathele. Abanye abathumeli imiyalezo ngokushesha emva kwehora elithile. Nquma umthetho kanye, uma uzolile, ukuze ungabe usaphindaphinda ukuphikisana ngawo ekushiseni.

Qamba lokho okuzwayo

Kunethuluzi elithule kakhulu okuvela ukuthi linamazinyo angempela: beka umuzwa emagameni.

Kuzwakala cishe kulula kakhulu. Kodwa ukulebula umzwelo, ukuzitshela ngokuthula "ngithukuthele" noma "lokhu ukwesaba, hhayi iqiniso," kubonakala kukhipha amanye amandla kuwo. Ucwaningo ku-*Frontiers in Psychology* luthole ukuthi ukulebula umuzwa, isenzo esilula sokuqamba lokho okuzwayo, kwehlisa umsebenzi ku-amygdala cishe ngendlela ukuhlolwa kabusha ngamabomu okwakwenza ngayo, futhi abantu babika ukukhathazeka okuncane. Ukuqamba isiphepho kusiza ingxenye ecabangayo yobuchopho bakho ukuthi ibuye ibeke isandla ezilawulini.

Ngakho ngaphambi kwesinqumo esinengcindezi, zama umusho oyisicefe. "Ngiyaqaphela ukuthi ngithukuthele kakhulu njengamanje." "Ngizizwa ngivalelwe ekhoneni." "Ngikhathazeke ngokubukeka ngibuthakathaka." Awuwutotosi umuzwa. Uyawuthola, okuyisinyathelo sokuqala sokunquma ukuthi kufanele uthole ivoti yini.

Bese ubuza umbuzo owodwa owandisayo

Ngoba ingcindezi iwisela izinketho zakho emikhawulweni, kuyasiza ukuzivula kabusha ngamabomu. Umbuzo owodwa wenza umsebenzi omkhulu lapha: *Iyini inketho yesithathu?*

Hhayi yeka noma uhlale, kodwa "kuthiwani uma ngihlala ngishintshe into eyodwa." Hhayi bhekana nakho noma ukugwinye, kodwa "kuthiwani uma ngiqala ngibabuze umbuzo oqotho." Inketho yesithathu cishe ihlala ikhona. Ingcindezi iyayifihla nje. Ukuziphoqa ukuthi uqambe eyodwa kwephula amalumbo akho-konke-noma-lutho isikhathi eside ngokwanele ukuze ucabange.

Yakha umkhuba lapho kungasho lutho oluvuthayo

Awukwazi ukufaka ukusabela okusha maphakathi nesimo esiphuthumayo. Ukuma kufanele kuzejwayezwe lapho ubungozi buphansi, ukuze bube khona lapho buphakeme.

Qala ukuqaphela izinto ezikuqalisayo, izimo ezithile ezikuqhumisa njalo. Umuntu othile. Ukugxekwa esidlangalaleni. Uhlobo oluthile lwephutha. Uma iphethini lakho ulijwayele kakhulu, uzolibamba ngokushesha livutha.

Futhi phatha isimo sakho esiyisisekelo njengengxenye yesibalo. Izinqumo ezenziwe ngokungalali, isisu esingenalutho, noma ekugcineni kwesonto elinesihluku zisebenza ohlelweni olusabelayo ngokuzenzakalelayo. Uma ukwazi, unganqumi lutho olubalulekile ngaphakathi kwaleso simo. Uma ungakwazi ukukugwema, okungenani yazi ukuthi amakhadi abekwe ngokukhethekile, bese wencika kakhulu ekumeni.

Lapho kukhulu kunomkhuba omubi

Kubantu abaningi, izinqumo ezisabelayo ziyinto eyenzeka ngezikhathi ezithile, elawulekayo, futhi isakhiwo esincane siya ibanga elide. Kodwa kuyafaneleka ukuba qotho ngesikhathi kungaphezu kwalokho.

Uma njalo wenza izinketho zamawala ongabonakali ukwazi ukuziyeka, uma ukuphuthuma kuzwakala kungeke kuhlaleke nakho, uma izinqumo ezisabelayo zilimaza izimali zakho, umsebenzi wakho, noma ubudlelwano bakho, noma uma zixhwathaniswe nokukhathazeka okujulile, lokho kufanele kukhulunywe nodokotela noma udokotela wezengqondo. Amawala ongakwazi ukuwabamba angahlobana nezinto, kusukela engcindezini engapheli kuya ezimweni ezithile zezempilo, ezisabela kahle osizweni lwangempela. Ukucela lolo sizo akusona isivumo sokuthi ubuthakathaka. Singenye yezinqumo ezisabela kancane kunazo zonke, ezinekhanda elicace kunazo zonke ongazenza.

Isikhathi esinzima esilandelayo siyeza. Awukwazi ukumisa ukuqubuka, futhi akudingeki. Udinga nje ukungakuvumeli ukuthi kusayine igama lakho.

Sources

• Harvard Business Review, Stress Leads to Bad Decisions. Here's How to Avoid Them
• Brain, Behavior, & Immunity - Health (PMC), Decision-making under stress: A psychological and neurobiological integrative model
• Frontiers in Psychology, The common and distinct neural bases of affect labeling and reappraisal in healthy adults