Amathiphu asheshayo
- Phefumula uphume kanye kancane ngaphambi kokuphendula.
- Yithi 'ake ngicabange umzuzwana'.
- Ziphoqe ukuthi uqambe enye indlela yesibili.
Ifoni ikhala ngesikhathi esingafanele. Kufika inombolo engaphansi kakhulu kwalapho ebifanele ibe khona, ikhasimende lisongela ngokuhamba, ilungu leqembu lisanda kwenza iphutha obala futhi wonke umuntu ubheke wena ukuthi wenzeni okulandelayo. Inhliziyo yakho iyashaya ngokushesha. Ingqondo yakho, ebizizwa ibukhali ehoreni eledlule, ngokungazelelwe izwakala sengathi igijima odakeni. Futhi khona lapho, ngesikhathi esibi kunazo zonke, othile ukucela ukuthi unqume.
Yilokhu ukwakheka okunonya kwezikhathi ezibucayi. Izinqumo ezibaluleke kakhulu zivame ukuvela ngqo lapho umzimba wakho ungakalungeli kahle ukuzenza. Awucabangi inkungu. Ngaphansi kwengcindezi yangempela, ukucabanga kwakho kuyashintsha ngempela, futhi hhayi ngendlela ekusizayo. Izindaba ezinhle ukuthi lokhu kuyabikezeleka. Uma usukwazi okwenzekayo, ungakha imikhuba emincane embalwa ekubuyisela ukwahlulela kwakho lapho kubalulekile.
Ingcindezi ekwenzayo engqondweni ecacile
Qala ngalokho okwenzeka ngaphakathi. Uma umzimba wakho ufunda isimo njengengozi, ukugcwalisa ngamakhemikhali engcindezi ahloselwe ukukusiza usinde entweni engokomzimba, njengokugijima noma ukulwa. Leyo nhlelo iyashesha futhi indala. Ayikhethi ukuthi ingozi ingwe enamazinyo anjengenkemba noma umhlangano webhodi. Noma kunjani, idonsa izinsiza ziye esenzweni esisheshayo zisuke emcabangweni ohambisanayo, ocophelelayo.
Umcabango ohambisanayo, ocophelelayo yikho kanye okudingwa yisinqumo esihle. Abacwaningi abahlanganisa amashumi ezifundo ngengcindezi nobuchopho bathola iphethini elingaguquki: ingcindezi ebukhali ilimaza ngokwethembekile inkumbulo esebenzayo, iphedi yengqondo oyisebenzisela ukubamba izingcezu ezimbalwa zenkinga engqondweni ngasikhathi sinye, futhi ilimaza ukuguquguquka kokucabanga, ikhono lakho lokushintsha phakathi kwemibono nokucabanga umbono ohlukile. Ngakho ngaphansi kwengcindezi ungabamba okuncane ekhanda lakho, futhi ubhajwe endleleni eyodwa kalula. Lokho kuhlanganisa kuwushevu edabeni eliyinkimbinkimbi.
Kunomthelela wesibili okufanele uwazi. Ingcindezi inciphisa ukunaka kwakho. Idonsela ukugxila kwakho ngokuqinile kunoma yini ezwakala iphuthuma futhi ivelele, iyeke amaphethelo esithombe awe. Esimeni sesiphuthumiso sangempela lokho kubona ngethanele kungasindisa impilo yakho. Emhlanganweni, kukwenza uphuthelwe yindlela ehleli ngaphandle nje kokugxila kwakho. Uba nesiqiniseko kakhulu ube nokungalungi ngasikhathi sinye.
Kunowesithathu. Ngokwengeziwe kwengcindezi ongaphansi kwayo, ngokwengeziwe ubuchopho bakho buphindela emkhubeni kunokucabanga okusha. Ingcindezi ikuqhubela esenzweni sakho esijwayelekile, into oyenza njalo, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ihambisana yini nalesi simo esithile. Ngesinye isikhathi izenzo zakho ezijwayelekile zinhle. Kodwa umzuzu odinga kakhulu impendulo eyakhayo ngokuvamile uwumzuzu ubuchopho bakho obungathandi kakhulu ukuyifuna.
Akukho kulokhu okusho ukuthi ubuthakathaka noma umubi emsebenzini wakho. Kusho ukuthi ungumuntu, futhi izinto zakho zangaphakathi zenza khona kanye lokho ezakhelwe ukukwenza ngokuvela. Umsebenzi ukuzikhohlisa ngobumnene.
Ukuma okubuyisela ukwahlulela kwakho
Nasi isinyathelo esisodwa esiwusizo kakhulu, futhi sizwakala sicishe sibe sincane kakhulu ukuze sibe nendaba: faka igebe ngamabomu phakathi kwengcindezi nempendulo yakho.
Umonakalo omningi ingcindezi ewenza esinqumweni wenzeka emizuzwaneni yokuqala embalwa, lapho ubuchopho bakho obuncishisiwe, obuqhutshwa umkhuba bufuna ukwenza okuthile khona manje ukuze umuzwa omubi uphele. Isifiso sokuxazulula ukungakhululeki sididaniswa nesidingo sokuxazulula inkinga. Akuyona into eyodwa. Ukungakhululeki kufuna isivinini. Inkinga ngokuvamile ifuna ingqondo ecacile.
Ukuma okufushane kuyakuphazamisa lokho. Kwenza imisebenzi emibili ngasikhathi sinye. Kuvumela ukukhuphuka kokuqala kwamakhemikhali engcindezi ukuba kufike phezulu bese kuqala ukwehla, futhi kuvula kabusha ingxenye yokucabanga kwakho ingcindezi ebeyivimbezela. Awudingi isikhathi eside. Ngisho nokuphefumula okukodwa kancane, noma umusho owodwa oneqiniso wokubambezela, kushintsha izinga lalokho okulandelayo.
Isazi sengqondo nomqeqeshi weziphathimandla uCarol Kauffman, ofundisa e-Harvard Medical School, ubeka lonke leli khono nxazonke zaleli gebe. Ukhomba umugqa ovame ukubhekiswa kuViktor Frankl: phakathi kwesikhuthazi nempendulo kunesikhala, futhi kuleso sikhala kulele inkululeko yethu. Iseluleko sakhe esisebenzayo ukusebenzisa leso sikhala ukwenza into eyodwa eqondile, ukuqhamuka nengaphezu kwenketho eyodwa. Ngaphansi kwengcindezi ubuchopho bakho bukunika impendulo eyodwa bese buyethula njengeyona yodwa. Ukuziphoqa ukuba uqhamuke nezindlela ezimbalwa ezehlukene, ngisho kafushane, kwephula ithanele futhi kukukhumbuza ukuthi uyakhetha, awusabeli.
Uhlelo ongalusebenzisa ngempela ngaso leso sikhathi
Uma ukushisa kuphezulu, ngeke ukhumbule ifilosofi. Udinga into elula ngokwanele ongayenza ngenkathi inhliziyo yakho ishaya ngokushesha. Zama lokhu:
- Zinzisa umzimba kuqala. Ukuphefumula okukodwa okuphumayo kancane, okude kunokungenayo. Izinyawo zicabe phansi, amahlombe ehle. Awukwazi ukucabanga uze uzole ngenkathi umzimba wakho usakhala isexwayiso, ngakho qala ngokomzimba.
- Thenga umzuzwana ngokuzwakalayo. Yisho okuthile okukunika isikhala ngaphandle kokugwema umzuzu. 'Ake ngicabange ngalokho umzuzwana.' 'Ngiphe umzuzu ukuze ngikwenze kahle.' Cishe akukho lutho oludinga ngempela impendulo emizuzwaneni emithathu ezayo, ngisho noma kuzwakala sengathi kuyakudinga.
- Qamba lokho okunqunywayo ngempela. Zisho ngokusobala, ngomusho owodwa. Ingcindezi yenza umbuzo ungacaci, futhi umbuzo ongacacile uthola impendulo embi. Ukwenza isinqumo sangempela sigxile kuyingxenye yomsebenzi.
- Thola okungenani enye indlela. Noma yini isisu sakho esiyimemezayo, buza: iyiphi indlela yesibili yokubhekana nalokhu? Neyesithathu? Akudingeki uzisebenzise. Kudingeka nje ufakazele ebuchosheni bakho obuncishisiwe ukuthi zikhona.
- Zibuze ukuthi ufuna ukuba ngubani khona manje. Lena ngomunye wemibuzo kaKauffman, futhi muhle. Ikususa ekusabeleni okuyisenzo sokuzenzakalela ikuxhume kabusha kuvele indlela ofuna ngempela ukuvela ngayo, okuwumhlaba oqine kakhulu wokunquma kuwo kunokugcwala kwe-adrenaline.
Lonke uhlelo lungathatha ngaphansi komzuzu. Awuhlosi ukuzizwa ukhululekile. Uhlosa ukuthola ukucabanga kwakho kwangempela okwanele ukuze wenze isinqumo ongeke usizisole.
Indlela yokubona isinqumo sengcindezi ngaphambi kokuzibophezela kuso
Ngezinye izikhathi igebe alitholakali. Igumbi ligqolozele, umzuzu uyahamba, futhi kufanele usho okuthile. Kulezo zimo kuyasiza ukubona izimpawu zesinqumo esiqhutshwa yingcindezi kunomcabango, ngoba uma ukwazi ukusiqamba njengoba senzeka, ungasibamba ngokukhululeka kancane.
Izimpawu ezimbalwa ezivamile:
- Kuzwakala kumnyama namhlophe. Ingcindezi iwisa isimo esicebile sibe yizinketho ezimbili, ngokuvamile ukulwa noma ukubaleka, ukunqoba noma ukulahlekelwa. Uma ubona iminyango emibili kuphela, yithanele elikhulumayo, hhayi iqiniso lesimo.
- Ikakhulu imayelana nokuqeda umuzwa. Lalela umusho wangaphakathi othi 'ngidinga nje ukuthi lokhu kume.' Yikungakhululeki okuqondisayo, futhi cishe njalo kukhomba emnyango wokuphuma osheshayo kunalowo omuhle.
- Kunolaka kunalokho obungaba yikho ngokuvamile. Ingcindezi isithobela ekusoleni nasekukhethweni okujezisayo. Uma isinyathelo osuzosenza sibukhali kunomuntu ovame ukuba nguye, kufanelekile ukusibuka okwesibili.
- Unesiqiniseko, futhi uthole isiqiniseko ngokushesha kakhulu. Ukuzethemba kwangempela ngokuvamile kunobunjalo obuthile, umuzwa wokuthi kulahlekani. Isiqiniseko sengcindezi sibushelezi futhi siphelele, futhi sifika ngaphambi kokuba usubukisise lutho.
Ngeke uhlale ukwazi ukwehlisa isivinini. Kodwa ukuqaphela ngisho nokukodwa kwalezi kungaba kwanele ukwengeza isichasiso esisodwa, 'nansi imvelo yami, futhi ake ngiyihlolisise,' okukushiyela umnyango wokubuyela emuva uma isisu sakho sivela siyisexwayiso hhayi ukwahlulela kwakho.
Nquma izinto zakho ezijwayelekile ngaphambi kokuba ukushisa kufike
Indlela ethembeke kakhulu yokucabanga ngokucacile ngaphansi kwengcindezi ukwenza omunye umcabango kusenesikhathi, uma uzolile. Njengoba ingcindezi ikuqhubela emikhubeni yakho, into ehlakaniphe kakhulu ongayenza ukuqinisekisa ukuthi imikhuba yakho mihle.
Izinto ezimbalwa ziyasiza lapha. Qaphela izimo ezithile ezikukhuphula ngokwethembekile, umuntu othile, ukubekwa engcupheni, uhlobo oluthile lokwehluleka. Lezo ozibonayo zifika zinamandla amancane kakhulu phezu kwakho. Nquma kusenesikhathi ukuthi yiziphi izinto zakho ongazidingidi, imigqa ongeke uyiweqe kungakhathaliseki ukuthi umzuzu ushisa kangakanani, ukuze ngaphansi kwengcindezi ulandele umthetho osuwuthemba kunokusungula amagugu ngokushesha. Futhi lapho ukwazi khona, yakha ukuma okumiyo: inqubomgomo yokuthi izinqumo ezinkulu noma ezingaguqulwa zithola ubuthongo bobusuku, noma umbono wesibili, noma ukuhamba ozungeza indawo. Umthetho owubeka kusenesikhathi uyakuvikela enguqulweni yakho egcwele futhi eshesha.
Kukhona nenzuzo ethule kakhulu. Izisekelo obungazeqa uma umatasa, ubuthongo, ukudla, ukunyakaza okuncane, yizinto ezifanayo ezinquma ukuthi ingcindezi engakanani ukucabanga kwakho okungakwazi ukuyimunca ngaphambi kokuba kuguqe. Ubuchopho obuphumulile bubamba okwengeziwe, bushintsha ngokushesha, futhi buhlala bubanzi ngaphansi komthwalo. Ukuvikela lezo akukhona ukuzitika. Kuwukugcina isinqumo.
Ingcindezi yangempela ngokuqhathaniswa nokuphuthuma okwenziwe
Umehluko owodwa ufanelwe ukuwuphatha nawe, ngoba uchitha ukwethuka okuningi okungadingekile. Okuningi okuzwakala kuphuthuma akuphuthumi. Isiphuthumiso sangempela, lapho imizuzwana embalwa ishintsha ngempela umphumela, siyivelakancane emsebenzini omningi. Ngokuvame kakhulu, ukuphuthuma kubolekiwe, uvalo lomunye umuntu lukucindezela, umnqamulajuqu ongokoqobo, noma ukungakhululeki kwakho nje okufuna ukuqedwa.
Uma uzwa ingcindezi yokunquma ngokushesha, kufanelekile ukuhlola kwesigamu somzuzwana: ingabe leli yiwashi langempela, noma umuzwa wewashi? Uma impendulo engalungile kodwa esheshayo ingaba mbi kunengalungile kodwa ehamba kancane kancane, ukuphuthuma cishe kwenziwe, futhi ukuma akulona ubunewunewu. Kuwukhetho olunesibopho. Ukukusho lokho ngokuzwakalayo, ngisho nokuzisho, kususa ukushisa okumangazayo emzuzwini.
Uma ingcindezi ingapheli
Izinsiza lapha zezikhathi ezinzima ezijwayelekile, ukukhuphuka okuvela kudlule empilweni ejwayelekile enezidingo. Ziyiqiniso futhi ziyasiza. Kodwa zinemikhawulo, futhi kufanelekile ukwethembeka ngokuthi ziphelela kuphi.
Uma ingcindezi ingalokothi idambe ngempela, uma uzizwa udinwe isikhathi esiningi, uma izinqumo ebeziyinto ejwayelekile manje zikushiya uqhaqhazela noma uzesaba, uma ubuthongo bakho, ukugxila kwakho, noma abantu obathandayo bethola umonakalo, leso yisimo esihlukile. Ingcindezi engapheli ekudabukisayo akulona iphutha lakho futhi akuyona into ongabhekana nayo wedwa. Udokotela noma uchwepheshe wezengqondo angakusiza uhlukanise ukuthi yini ekuqhubayo nokuthi yini engasiza ngempela, futhi leyo ngxoxo ingamandla, hhayi ithemba lokugcina.
Futhi uma nganoma yisiphi isikhathi izinto zizwakala zisinda ngempela ukuzithwala, sicela uthinte othile namuhla, umuntu omethembayo, udokotela wakho, noma umugqa wosizo lwezimo eziphuthumayo. Akudingeki ube esimweni esibucayi ukuze ufanelwe ukwesekwa. Kudingeka nje ukuthi ukhathele ukukuthwala wedwa.
Ukucabanga ngokucacile ngaphansi kwengcindezi akuzange kube ngokungazanyazanyiswa. Kumayelana nokwazi ukuthi umzuzu ukwenzani, nokuba nezinyathelo ezithule ezimbalwa ezilungele ukuze isinqumo esilandelayo sivele kuwena omuhle kunazo zonke esikhundleni sowena owesaba kakhulu.
Imithombo
- National Center for Biotechnology Information, The Effects of Acute Stress on Core Executive Functions: A Meta-Analysis and Comparison with Cortisol
- National Center for Biotechnology Information, Stress and Decision Making: Effects on Valuation, Learning, and Risk-taking
- Harvard Business Review, How to Make Better Decisions Under Pressure