Ukuhlala Uzothile Uma Konke Kusha

Ngokuvamile kuqala ngomyalezo owodwa. Uhlelo luphansi. Ukwethulwa kuphukile. Inombolo enkulu ifike ingalungile, noma isivumelwano obusethembele kuso simane sawa. Ngaphakathi komzuzu ifoni yakho iyavevezela ezindaweni ezintathu, umuntu uyabuza ukuthi lithini icebo, futhi ungazwa ukushaya kwegazi lakho entanyeni. Ingxenye yakho ifuna ukwenza okuthile, noma yini, khona manje.

Lowo mfutho uyinkinga, akusiso isixazululo.

Ikhono elinzima kunawo wonke esimeni esibucayi akusiwo ukucabanga ngokushesha. Yisenzo esincane, esihlosiwe sokungasabeli imizuzwana embalwa ngenkathi umzimba wakho ukumemeza ukuba usabele. Cishe akekho okhona kulokhu ngengozi. Izindaba ezinhle ukuthi kuyaqeqeshwa, futhi ingxenye enkulu yokuqeqeshwa yenzeka kudala ngaphambi kokuba umlilo uqale.

Umzimba wakho uthole umyalezo ngaphambi kwakho

Nakhu okwenzekayo ngaphakathi. Ngomzuzu ubuchopho bakho obufunda ngawo isimo njengengozi, uhlelo lwakho lwezinzwa lomzwelo lukhipha isikhukhula samahomoni, futhi umzimba wakho ushintshela kulokho i-Cleveland Clinic nabanye abakubiza ngokuthi ukusabela kokulwa-noma-kokubaleka. Ijubane lenhliziyo liyakhuphuka. Ukuphefumula kuba ngokushesha nokucekethekile. Iziphofu zamehlo akho ziyavuleka, imisipha yakho iyaqina, futhi igazi lihambela ezingalweni nasemilenzeni lisuke ezingxenyeni zakho eziphatha ukucabangisisa. Lokhu kuwuxhumo lolo olwake lwasiza okhokho bethu ukusinda esilwaneni esizingelayo. Aluwazi umehluko phakathi kwesilwane esidumelayo nomyalezo we-Slack ophawulwe njengophuthumayo.

Izinto ezimbili kufanele uzazi ngalokhu kusabela. Okokuqala, kungokwamakhemikhali nokomzimba, akulona iphutha lesimilo. Awubuthakathaka ngokuzwa izandla zakho zithuthumela lapho izinto zibucayi. Okwesibili, kuhamba ngewashi lako. I-Cleveland Clinic iphawula ukuthi kungathatha imizuzu engamashumi amabili kuya kwamashumi amathathu ukuze umzimba wakho uzinze ngokugcwele uma i-alamu isikhalile. Awukwazi nje ukunquma ukuzizwa uzothile bese kufika. Kodwa ungenza izinto ezisheshisa ukuzinza, futhi ungagwema ukwenza izinqumo ezinkulu ngesikhathi esibi sokuqubuka.

Isifundo esisebenzayo cishe silula ngokuhlazayo. Uma konke kusha, umsebenzi wokuqala akusiwo ukuxazulula umlilo. Ukubuyisela uhlelo lwakho esimeni lapho ukwahlulela kwakho kusebenza khona ngempela.

Akubona wonke umuntu oshisayo

Ukulwa-noma-ukubaleka yinguqulo edumile, kodwa akusiyo eyodwa kuphela. Abantu abaningi ababi nomsindo noma abashesheli ngaphansi kwengcindezi. Baphenduka ize. Ingqondo iyaphungeka, amagama awafiki, futhi uhlala lapho ugqolozele isikrini ngenkathi ingxenye yakho okufanele ibe inquma iphume ngokuthula. Lokho ukusabela kokuqhaqhazela, futhi kungokomzimba njengenguqulo yenhliziyo egijimayo. Uma kunguwe lokho, umgomo uyafana kodwa isinyathelo sokuqala sihluke kancane: esikhundleni sokuzinciphisela ijubane, uzama ukuzivula futhi. Ukunyakaza okumbalwa okusheshayo kuyasiza lapha, ukuma, ukugxilisa izinyawo, ukucindezela izintende zezandla zakho zisheke edeskini. Kanjalo nokusho into eyodwa eyiqiniso, elula ngokuzwakalayo, ngisho nokuthi "Kulungile. Nakhu esikwaziyo." Noma ngayiphi indlela, umgomo uyahlala. Unakekela umzimba wakho ngaphambi kokuthinta inkinga.

Zithengele imizuzwana engamashumi amathathu

Isinyathelo esisodwa esiwusizo kunazo zonke esimeni esibucayi ukwakha igebe elincane phakathi kokuqubuka nokusabela kwakho. Awukusalazisi. Ulinde ubuchopho bakho obungcono ukuba bubuye buvuleke.

Kukhona indlela esheshayo, engokomzimba yokwenza lokhu, futhi ubufakazi obungemuva kwako buqinile. Abacwaningi base-Stanford, abaholwa u-David Spiegel no-Andrew Huberman, baqhathanisa ukuzijwayeza kokuphefumula okufushane kwansuku zonke nokuzindla kokuqwashisa ingqondo. Okwavelela into ebizwa ngokuthi ukudonsa umoya ngokwedlula: ukudonsa umoya kabili ngamakhala, bese kulandela ukuphefumula ngaphandle okude, okuhamba kancane ngomlomo. Kuphindaphindwa imizuzu embalwa ngosuku phakathi nenyanga, kwathuthukisa isimo somoya kwazolisa umzimba ngaphezu kokuzindla. Isizathu ukuphefumula ngaphandle okude. Ukuphefumula ngaphandle kancane kuvula uhlelo lwezinzwa oluzolisayo, igatsha elifaka amabhuleki, elehlisa ijubane lenhliziyo yakho futhi lisusa ubunzima be-alamu.

Nakhu ukuthi kungani lelo gebe libaluleke kangaka. Uma i-alamu isezingeni eliphezulu, ingxenye yobuchopho bakho yokucabanga isebenza ngokungaphansi kwalokho ekudingayo, okuyilapho kanye abantu besho khona into abazisola ngayo noma benza isinqumo ababengeke basenze nekhanda elicacile. Umphefumulo awuyenzi inkinga ibe ncane. Ubuyisela imizuzwana embalwa yobuhlakani bakho, futhi imizuzwana embalwa ngokuvamile iwumehluko wonke phakathi kokusabela nesinqumo.

Awudingi imizuzu emihlanu ukusebenzisa lokhu. Udinga ukuphefumula kathathu.

1. Phefumulela ngamakhala akho, bese ungenisa okwesibili ukuncela umoya okufushane phezu kwako.
2. Wukhiphe ngomlomo wakho, kancane, isikhathi eside kunalokho okuzwakala kungokwemvelo.
3. Kwenze lokho kabili noma kathathu ngaphambi kokuba usho igama.

Akekho egumbini ozokwazi ukuthi uyakwenza. Bazoqaphela nje ukuthi awethukanga.

Lokho abaholi abazinze kakhulu abakwenzayo ngempela

Kuvela ukuthi umuzwa wokulinda akusiwo nje iqhinga lokuphefumula. Yiphethini ongayithola kwabanye babaholi abahlonishwa kakhulu bezimo ezibucayi emlandweni.

Isazi-mlando u-Nancy Koehn, ocwaninga abaholi ababunjwe ezikhathini ezinzima, ukhomba umthetho u-Abraham Lincoln obonakala ephila ngawo: ngokukhula kobucayi bezinto, ngokwehla kwamathuba okuthi enze okuthile khona manjalo. Ebhekene nesinqumo esithukuthelisayo, wayevame ukubhala incwadi ethukuthele, bese eyibeka eceleni futhi engalokothi ayithumele. Wayevumela isiphepho esesifubeni sakhe sidlule ngaphambi kokuthi enze okuthile ngesiphepho esiphambi kwakhe. Abafundisi be-Harvard Business School bafundisa inguqulo yalokhu ngokuqondile, ukuthi esimeni esibucayi into yokuqala okufanele umholi ayenze ukuphefumula bese emelana nokudonseleka ukwenza okuthile ngaphambi kokuba isithombe sicace.

Kungani lokhu kubaluleke kangaka kunoma ngubani ophethe, ngisho ngokungahleliwe? Ngoba abantu abakuzungezile bakubuka eduze kakhulu kunalokho okucabangayo, futhi izimo zomoya ziyahamba. Uma umholi ebonisa ukwethuka, iqembu liyakumunca futhi ukwethuka kuyaphindaphindeka. Uma umholi ehlala egxilile, lokho kuzinza kunika wonke umuntu okunye okuthile abangabambelela kukho. Ucwaningo lwendlela amaqembu asabela ngayo kubaholi abangaphansi kwengcindezi lulokhu lufika ephuzwini elifanayo elingakhululeki: abantu abaningi baba nokulawula okwengeziwe noma bashise kakhulu lapho kushisa, futhi amaqembu abo ayakhokha ngamaphutha nokulahlekelwa yithemba. Akudingeki ube omunye wabo.

Icebo lomzuzu omubi olandelayo

Uma umlilo uqala ngempela, iseluleko sesithombe esikhulu siyahwamuka. Okusizayo uchungechunge olufushane, oluqinile owuzinqumele kusengaphambili. Nalu olulodwa olufanele ukubolekwa.

• Phefumula ngaphambi kokukhuluma. Ukuphefumula uphume kancane kathathu. Lokhu akuxoxisaneki futhi kukubiza imizuzwana eyishumi.
• Yehlisa izwi lakho unciphise ijubane. Ithoni yakho ibeka izinga legumbi ngokushesha kunamagama akho. Ukuthula nokuhamba kancane kufundwa njengokulawula, ngisho lapho ungakuzwa.
• Buza umbuzo owodwa ocacile esikhundleni sokubeka icala. "Yini esiyaziyo ngempela njengamanje?" idonsela wonke umuntu emaqinisweni imsuse esizungwini. Ukuthi kuyicala likabani kungalinda.
• Sho isinyathelo esisodwa esilandelayo, hhayi isixazululo sonke. Awudingi isixazululo esiphelele ngomzuzu wokuqala. Udinga into elandelayo impela, nomuntu ozoyithatha.
• Nquma ukuthi yini engalinda. Iningi lalokho okuzwakala kuphuthuma akuphuthumi. Ukuvikela ukunaka kwabantu kuma-alamu amanga kuyingxenye yomsebenzi.

Qaphela ukuthi akukho kulokhu okudinga ukuthi ube ukhaliphile noma ube nempendulo. Kudinga ukuthi uzinze, unciphise ijubane legumbi, futhi ucabange isinyathelo ngasinye ngesikhathi. Lokho cishe njalo kwanele ukudlula okubi kunakho konke.

Cabanga ukuthi lokho kubukeka kanjani empilweni yangempela. Uhlelo lokukhokha luyawa ngehora lakho elimatasa kunawo wonke. Imilayezo iqala ukuqongelelana. Umuzwa wokuzenzakalela ukuphendula "KUNGANI?" ngonobumba abakhulu bese uqala ukufuna owukuphule. Esikhundleni salokho uphefumula kathathu kancane ngenkathi imilayezo iqongelelana. Bese, ngezwi elithule kancane kunalokho okuzwayo, ubhala: "Kulungile, uhlelo luphansi. Yini esiyaziyo kuze kube manje?" Amaqiniso amabili abuya. Ukhetha isinyathelo esilandelayo, "Sam, ungabheka ukuthi kungakolwethu uhlangothi noma olwomthengisi, ungitshele ngemizuzu emihlanu," bese utshela bonke abanye ukuba balinde. Akukho kulokho okuyingqalabutho. Awukalungisi lutho okwamanje. Kodwa uphendule umhlambi wanhlobonhlobo waba umugqa, futhi umugqa yinto iqembu elingasebenza ngayo ngempela.

Ingxenye enkulu yomsebenzi yenzeka ngaphambi komlilo

Iqiniso elingakhululeki ukuthi awukwazi ukubiza ngokwethembeka ukuzothile emzuzwini omubi kunayo yonke wesonto lakho uma ungakaze ukwakhe ezinsukwini ezinhle. Ukuzola akusiwo amandla okuzimisela owafinyelelayo. Kuwumsele osuwugudle kusengaphambili. Izinto ezimbalwa zenza lowo msele ujule.

Funda izimpawu zakho. Iningi lethu lineqoqo elincane lezimo ezisiqhubula ngokwethembeka: umuntu othile, ukuphazanyiswa, ukugxekwa phambi kwabantu, uhlobo oluthile lwephutha. Uma ungazwa ukuqubuka kuza, ungakuhlangabeza ngecebo kunokuthi kukuhlasele kungazelele. Qaphela futhi ukuthi umzimba wakho wenzani kuqala. Umhlathi oqinile, umphefumulo obanjiwe, ukuvuvukala entanyeni. Lezo zimpawu zokuqala ziwuphawu lwakho lokuqala umphefumulo ngaphambi kokuba usunqumile ukuthi ucasukile.

Nquma kusengaphambili ukuthi ufuna ukuvela kanjani. Umzuzu onzima uyisikhathi esibi sokuthola izimiso zakho kusukela ekuqaleni. Uma usuzinqumele ukuthi ufuna ukuba umuntu ohlala enobulungiswa ecacile lapho izinto zihamba kabi, unokuthile okuzinze kakhulu ongenza ngakho kunanoma yini okuzenzakalela ukuyizwa ngo-4 p.m. ngosuku olubi.

Futhi susa ingcindezi ebuthongweni bakho, ekunyakazeni kwakho, nasekululameni kwakho okuyisisekelo lapho izinto zizolile, ngoba uhlelo lwezinzwa oluphumule linefyuzi elide. Yona kanye i-alamu ongayidlula esontweni elihle izokulahla phansi esontweni lapho uphila ngamahora amane futhi weqe ukudla. Ukuzola ngaphansi kwengcindezi kuwakheka ngokwengxenye e-gym nasekhishini nasekamelweni lokulala, kudala ngaphambi komhlangano.

Ingxenye okungekho okuyitshela wena

Ukuzola ngaphansi kwengcindezi akusiwo umuzwa. Kuyiqoqo lezenzo ozithatha ngenkathi uzizwa noma yini ngaphandle kokuzola. Abantu ababukeka benganyakaziseki esimeni esibucayi kaningi bayathuthumela ngaphakathi. Umehluko ukuthi baye bazijwayeza izinyathelo ngokwanele kangangokuthi izinyathelo azincike esimeni somoya.

Ngakho zijwayeze zizincane. Izinto ezicasulayo ezingabalulekile kakhulu, i-imeyili enonya, umhlangano ophambanayo, icebo eliwa ngoLwesibili, ziyinkundla yakho yokuqeqeshwa. Thatha umphefumulo lapho. Yehlisa izwi lakho lapho. Buza umbuzo ocacile lapho. Umkhuba owakha emizuzwini emincane yiwo ozokuvelela ezikhulwini.

Futhi zinike ithuba lokuphutha. Uzolahlekelwa ukuzola ngezinye izikhathi. Wonke umuntu uyakwenza. Abantu abakukhumbulayo akusiwo ukushelela, ukuthi wabuyela yini, wakwamukela, wabuye wazolisa igumbi. "Bengiphazamisekile ngaphambili, futhi ngiyaxolisa, nakhu esikuso manje" kwenza okwengeziwe ethembeni kunanoma yikuphi ukusebenza okungenaphutha.

Uma umlilo ungapheli ngempela

Kukhona umkhawulo wangempela kukho konke lokhu, futhi kufanele kushiwo ngokusobala. Lawa mathuluzi awokudlula ezikhathini ezinzima. Awakhelwanga impilo eyisimo esiphuthumayo esiqhubekayo.

Uma umlilo ubonakala ungapheli, uma umzimba wakho ubambeke ku-alamu izinsuku eziningi, uma ungalali, uma ukwesaba kukubingelela ngaphambi kokuba uze uphume embhedeni, leyo akuyona inkinga yokuzola ongaphefumula uphume kuyo. Yilokho uhlelo lwakho olukutshela ukuthi luthwele okuningi kakhulu isikhathi eside kakhulu, futhi lufanelwe okungaphezu kokuzivocavoca kokuphefumula. Udokotela noma udokotela wengqondo angakusiza uhlukanise ukuthi yini umthwalo, yini ukusha kwamandla, nokuthi yini engaba ukukhathazeka okucela ukunakekelwa okufanele. Ukufinyelela lolo hlobo losizo akukona ukwehluleka kobuqhawe. Kuyiwona kanye umuzwa owenza umholi omuhle abize usizo ngaphambi kokuba isakhiwo sivutha ngokugcwele.

Ungaba lowo ozinzile. Ungadidanisi nje ukuzinza nokukuthwala konke wedwa.

Imithombo

• Cleveland Clinic, What Happens to Your Body During the Fight-or-Flight Response
• Stanford Medicine, Cyclic Sighing Can Help Breathe Away Anxiety
• Harvard Business School Online, Leadership Under Pressure: 3 Strategies for Keeping Calm
• Harvard Business Review, The Key to Abraham Lincoln's Leadership