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Amathiphu asheshayo
- Yima ukuze uphefumule ngaphambi kokusabela.
- Qamba umuzwa, ngisho ngokuthula nje.
- Khetha isinyathelo sakho esisodwa esilandelayo kuphela.
Umbhalo ungena ngenkathi usaphakathi kwento ejwayelekile. Noma ucingo lufika kanye ngaphambi komhlangano. Noma othile angene ehhovisi lakho, avale umnyango, futhi usuvele uyazi ngobuso bakhe. Noma ngabe izindaba ziyini, umzimba wakho uyasabela ngaphambi kokuba ingqondo yakho ifinyelele. Isisu sakho siyawa. Ubuso bakho buyashisa. Igumbi linciphela ubukhulu balowo musho owodwa.
Lokho kusabela akubona ubuthakathaka, futhi akulona uphawu lokuthi ukuphatha kabi. Kuyibhayoloji, futhi kuyashesha, futhi kusebenza kanye njengoba kwakhelwe. Inkinga ukuthi ukwakheka kwakhelwe uhlobo oluhlukile lwengozi kunezindaba ezimbi eziningi esizithola manje. Ukwazi okwenzekayo kuleyo mizuzwana yokuqala yikho okukuvumela ukuba uhlale esihlalweni somshayeli esikhundleni sokudonswa ngemuva kwensimbi yakho yokuxwayisa.
Lokhu akumayelana nokungakhathazeki. Uvunyelwe ukucasuka. Umgomo umncane futhi uwusizo kakhulu: ukugcina ingqondo yakho yanele ukuze ungenzi okuthile ngomzuzu wokuqala okwenza ihora elilandelayo libe libi kakhulu.
Kungani ubuchopho bakho busabela ngaphambi kwakho
Ekujuleni kobuchopho kuhlala isakhiwo esincane esibizwa ngokuthi i-amygdala. Yicabange njengesihloli sentuthu. Umsebenzi wayo wonke ukuhlola ingozi bese ikhala insimbi yokuxwayisa ngomzuzu ebona noma yiyiphi, futhi ikwenza lokhu ngokushesha kunomcabango osengqondweni. Lapho izwa ingozi, iphonsa izimpawu zesimo esiphuthumayo ngaphambi kokuba izingxenye ezihamba kancane, ezicabangela kakhulu zobuchopho bakho ziqede ukuthola ukuthi kwenzekani nje. I-Cleveland Clinic ikuchaza ngokucacile: uma uzwa umsindo ojwayelekile, oyingozi, i-amygdala ikwenza usabele ngaphambi kokuba ezinye izindawo zobuchopho zicubungule ukuthi umsindo bewuyini ngempela.
Lokho kuhle kakhulu lapho ingozi kuyimoto ephambukela kuwe. Unyakaza kuqala ucabange kamuva, futhi ukucabanga-kamuva kungakubiza impilo yakho. Kodwa insimbi yokuxwayisa efanayo iyashaya nge-imeyili yokuxoshwa, umphumela omubi welebhu, noma umlingani othi "kufanele sikhulume." Umzimba wakho awukwazi kalula ukwehlukanisa phakathi kwengozi yomzimba nolwazi olubuhlungu. Ngakho ugcwalisa uhlelo lwakho nge-adrenaline ne-cortisol, inhliziyo yakho iyashesha, umoya wakho ungajuli, futhi ulungele ukulwa noma ukubalekela into ongeke ukwazi ukuyilwa noma ukuyibalekela ngempela.
Nansi ingxenye ebaluleke kunazo zonke ekuhlaleni uzolile. Lapho leyo nsimbi yokuxwayisa iklabalasa, ithulisa kanye ingxenye yobuchopho bakho oyidinga kakhulu khona manje. I-prefrontal cortex, ngemuva nje kwesiphongo sakho, yilapho ukala khona izinketho, ubona imiphumela, ukhethe amagama akho ngokunakekela. Ngaphansi kwengcindezi enkulu, ukubamba kwayo kuyakhululeka bese imishini emidala yokusinda ithatha izintambo. I-Harvard Health ikubeka kanje: lapho ingcindezi eyandisiwe noma enkulu iphethe, kunomsebenzi omncane ezindaweni ezibhekana nokucabanga okuphakeme futhi omningi ezingxenyeni zakuqala ezigxile ekusindeni. Abanye abantu babiza inguqulo eyeqisayo ngokuthukwa kwe-amygdala, umzuzu insimbi yokuxwayisa edlula ngawo ukwahlulela.
Yingakho umzwangedwa wakho emizuzwaneni engamashumi ayisithupha yokuqala uvame kakhulu ukuba yisinyathelo esingalungile. Impendulo ofuna ukuyiphonsa, isidingo ofuna ukusenza, umnyango ofuna ukuwuvala ngamandla. Akuwena wangempela lokho okhulumayo. Yisihloli sentuthu.
Imizuzwana engamashumi ayisithupha yokuqala imayelana nomzimba wakho, hhayi inkinga
Awukwazi ukuxazulula isimo esinzima ngenkathi uhlelo lwakho lusexwayisweni oluphelele. Izinsiza zokucabanga azisebenzi. Ngakho umsebenzi wokuqala, ngaphambi kwanoma yisiphi isinqumo, ngaphambi kwanoma yiyiphi impendulo, ukwehlisa umzimba wakho ngokwanele ukuze ukwahlulela kwakho kubuye kusebenze. Inkinga isazoba khona ngomzuzu. Ingalinda.
Yenza okuncane, ngamabomu
Into eyodwa enamandla kunazo zonke ongayenza lapho izindaba ezimbi zifika ilutho. Hhayi phakade. Ngokuphefumula okukodwa. Isikhala esiphakathi kokuzwa ukuqubuka nokusabela kuko yilapho ukuzola kwakho konke kuhlala khona. Cishe azikho izindaba ezimbi ezidinga ngempela ukusabela emizuzwaneni eyishumi elandelayo, ngisho noma kuzwakala kunjalo. I-imeyili ingaphendulwa ngehora. Ingxoxo enzima ingafaka amazwi athi "ngidinga umzuzwana ukuze ngikungenise lokho." Ukuzithengela ngisho ukuma okufushane kunika ingxenye enomqondo yobuchopho bakho ithuba lokubuyela etafuleni.
Yelula ukuphefumulela kwakho phandle
Ngenkathi ume, phefumula, bese wenza ukuphefumulela phandle kube kude kunokuphefumulela ngaphakathi. Ukuphefumulela phandle okuhamba kancane kungenye yamalivha ambalwa aqondile onawo ohlelweni lwakho lwezinzwa. Kunika umzimba wakho isiginali sokuthi isimo esiphuthumayo siyadlula, futhi ukushaya kwenhliziyo yakho kuyalandela. Awudingi indlela enegama. Ngaphakathi ngokubala okuhamba kancane, phandle ngokuhamba kancane kakhulu, izikhathi ezimbili noma ezintathu. Lokho kwanele ukuthobisa isicongo ukuze uzizwe ucabanga.
Qamba lokho okuzwayo
Lokhu kuzwakala kulula kakhulu ukuze kusebenze, kanti ucwaningo lusho okuhlukile. Lapho ubeka umuzwa emazwini, ngisho ngokuthula, ngisho nje u"ngiyesaba" noma u"ngithukuthele khona manje," kwenzeka okuthile okulinganisekayo ebuchosheni. Uchungechunge lwezifundo ze-UCLA olwaholwa ngusonenzwa uMatthew Lieberman lwathola ukuthi isenzo sokuqamba umuzwa siphakamisa umsebenzi ku-prefrontal cortex bese sehlisa umsebenzi ku-amygdala. Ukuqamba umuzwa kufaka ibhuleki elincane ensimbini yokuxwayisa.
Ngeke kwenze umuzwa unyamalale, futhi akumele kwenze njalo. Amandla ehla isinyathelo, hhayi kuye ku-zero. Kodwa isinyathelo esisodwa imvamisa singumehluko phakathi kokusabela ngokucabanga nokusabela ngokuzuma. U-Amy Gallo, ebhalela i-Harvard Business Review ngokuhlala uzolile ezikhathini ezinengcindezi, uhlela imizwa njengezingcezu zolwazi ezidlulayo kunamaqiniso okumele uwalalele. Ukuqamba umuzwa kudala ucezwana lwebanga phakathi kwakho nawo. Ngaphakathi kwalolo cezwana, unenketho futhi.
Uma usukwazi ukucabanga futhi
Lapho ukuphefumula kwakho sekuzinzile futhi ukubhonga sekwehlele ekuhwaqabaleni, ungayithatha futhi intambo. Izinto ezimbalwa zisiza lapha, futhi akukho kuzo okudinga ukuba uzizwe uzolile, kuphela ukwenza ngokuzinza ngenkathi imizwa izinza.
- Qondisa amaqiniso ngaphambi kokusabela endabeni. Ekuqubukeni kokuqala, ingqondo yakho ibhala inguqulo embi kunazo zonke ngokwayo. Ukuxilongwa kwesifo kuba yisigwebo sokufa, ikota embi iba ukuphela kwenkampani, umlayezo omfushane uba ubufakazi bokuthi usuzoxoshwa. Yehlisa isivinini ngokwanele ukuze ubuze: yini engiyaziyo ngempela khona manje, futhi yini engiyicabangayo? Imvamisa isimo sangempela sinzima kodwa siyasindeka, futhi inhlekelele iyinto insimbi yakho yokuxwayisa eyiqambile. Ukubhala izinhlu ezimbili eceleni komunye, okuqinisekisiwe nokwesatshwayo, kunganciphisa ingozi ibuyele ebukhulwini bayo bangempela.
- Buza umbuzo ocacisayo esikhundleni sokwenza isitatimende. "Ungangichazela ukuthi kwenzekeni?" kuthenga isikhathi, kuqoqa ulwazi, futhi kukugcina ungazibophezeli endaweni ozozisola ngayo. Kuphinde kunikeze isiginali sokuzinza kunoma ngubani obukele, okubathulisa nabo.
- Hlukanisa okuphuthumayo kokumane kuzwakala kuphuthuma. Kuncane kakhulu okumele kunqunywe kulo mzuzu. Bhala phansi okudinga ngempela isinqumo namuhla bese uvumela okunye kulinde uze ulale ngakho. Izinqumo ezinkulu ezenziwa ehoreni lokuqala lezindaba ezimbi ziyivelakancane ukuba ngezakho ezingcono kunazo zonke.
- Nquma isinyathelo sakho esisodwa esilandelayo, hhayi lonke uhlelo. Ukuzama ukuxazulula inkinga yonke ngasikhathi sinye kuzokucindezela bese kubuyisela insimbi yokuxwayisa phezulu. Iyini into eyodwa elandelayo? Yenza ucingo. Funda umbiko futhi. Tshela umuntu oyedwa omethembayo. Isinyathelo esilandelayo nje.
Qaphela okungekho kulolo hlu: ukuqonda yonke into, ukuzizwa ulungile ngakho, noma ukuba nempendulo ephelele. Lokho akukatholakali, futhi ukukujaha manje kumane kujulise ukwethuka. Ukuzinza kudlula ukuphelela.
Uma abanye abantu bebukele
Ngezinye izikhathi izindaba ezimbi zifika ngenkathi kunguwe abanye ababheke kuwe. Iqembu lizwa ukuthi iphrojekthi ikhanseliwe. Umndeni uzwa isibuyekezo esinzima egumbini lokulinda. Ukuzola kwakho kuba uhlobo lomthombo wonke umuntu okuzungezile odonsa kuwo, ngoba imizwa iyasabalala isuka kumuntu iye komunye, futhi abantu banaka kakhulu kunoma ngubani abambona ezinzile. Uma wethuka ngokuzwakalayo, unika igumbi ukwethuka. Uma uhlala ugxilile, unika abantu okuthile abangakuboleka baze bathole ukuzimela kwabo.
Lokhu akusho ukwenza sengathi konke kulungile. Abantu bayabona, futhi ukuzenzisa kukubiza ukwethenjwa. Kusho ukuzivumela uzwe umonakalo ngenkathi ukhetha indlela oyithwala ngayo. "Lokhu kunzima, futhi sizokuthatha isinyathelo ngasinye" kuqotho futhi kuzinzisa ngasikhathi sinye. Ungawuqamba ubunzima usaba ukuzola egumbini. Imvamisa lowo musho uyinto ewusizo kunazo zonke ozoyisho usuku lonke.
Uma ungakwazi, nika igumbi into encane, ebambekayo elandelayo yokugxila kuyo. Abantu abashaqekile balangazelela okuthile abangakwenza ngezandla zabo nangokunaka kwabo, futhi umsebenzi ocacile, omncane udonsa ingqondo yawo wonke umuntu isuke esizungezweni iye emhlabathini oqinile. "Asiqoqe esikwaziyo bese sihlangana futhi ngo-3" kwenza okwengeziwe eqenjini elinyakazisiwe kunanoma iyiphi inkulumo. Kuphinde kukuthengele into efanayo ekubathengela yona: isikhathi esincane ngaphambi kokuba kunqunywe noma yini. Awudingi ukuba nezimpendulo okwamanje. Udinga nje ukukhomba isinyathelo esilandelayo bese uhamba uye kuso ndawonye.
Uma izindaba zingezohlobo olusindayo
Azizona zonke izindaba ezimbi ezingukuhlehla emsebenzini. Ezinye zazo zingezohlobo oluhlela kabusha impilo yakho, ukuxilongwa okunzima kwesifo, ukufa, ukuphela komshado, ukulahlekelwa obungakuboni kuza. Ibhayoloji yomzuzu wokuqala iyafana, kodwa umgwaqo ngemva kwalokho mude, futhi kufanele ube nomusa kuwe ngalokho.
Ngezindaba ezinkulu kangako, umgomo akuwona ukuhlala uzolile amahora. Ngukudlula kulesi sikhashana esilandelayo ngaphandle kokubhekana nakho wedwa ngokuphelele. Tshela umuntu. Vumela umuntu okukhathalelayo ahlale nawe, akushayele, noma amane ahlale ecingweni. Awudingi ukuba namandla ngendlela ongase uyicabange. Udinga nje ukungazihlukanisi. Ukushaqeka kuzohamba ngamagagasi, futhi lokho kujwayelekile, futhi akusho ukuthi kukhona okonakele ngawe.
Kukhona umehluko phakathi kobuhlungu obunzima, obusindayo obuza nokulahlekelwa kwangempela nomuzwa ongakwazi ukuphuma ngaphansi kwawo, uhlobo oluhlala amaviki, luginya ubuthongo bakho nesifiso sokudla, noma luqala ukwenza impilo uqobo izwakale ingasho lutho. Owokuqala usizi olwenza umsebenzi walo. Owesibili ufanele ukulethwa kudokotela noma udokotela wengqondo, hhayi ngolunye usuku kodwa maduze. Uma izindaba ezimbi zike zakushiya uzizwa ungakwazi ukuqhubeka, noma ukuthi abantu empilweni yakho bebengaba ngcono ngaphandle kwakho, ngicela ungahlali nalokho wedwa. Finyelela emgqeni wezimo eziphuthumayo noma kuchwepheshe khona manje. Lokho akukona ukusabela ngokweqile. Yilokho kanye lezo zinsiza ezikhona ngenxa yakho, futhi ukuzifinyelela kungenye yezinto ezizinze kunazo zonke umuntu angazenza.
Izindaba ezimbi eziningi azizona ezohlobo oluhlela kabusha impilo, futhi eziningi zazo uzozibhekana kangcono kunalokho okwesabayo, ikakhulukazi uma usuqaphela ukuthi umzuzu wokuqala oluhlanya umane uwuhlelo lwakho lokuxwayisa olwenza umsebenzi walo wakudala, othembekile. Livumele likhale. Phefumula udlule kulo. Bese, lapho ingqondo yakho enhle ibuya kuwe, thatha isinyathelo esilandelayo. Izobuya. Ihlala ibuya.
Imithombo
- Harvard Health Publishing, Understanding the stress response
- Cleveland Clinic, Amygdala
- UCLA Health, Putting Feelings Into Words Produces Therapeutic Effects in the Brain
- Harvard Business Review, Managing Your Emotions During an Argument at Work