Amathiphu asheshayo
- Kwehlukanise kube okwakho nokungekho kwakho.
- Guqula ukuzisola kube yisinyathelo esisodwa esilandelayo.
- Zikhulumele njengomngane omuhle.
Kukhona okuhamba kabi. Iphrojekthi iyashelela. Umyalezo ufika kabi. Icebo obuqiniseke ngalo liyahlakazeka phambi kwabantu obakhathalela umbono wabo.
Kule mizuzwana embalwa yokuqala, ingqondo yakho ifuna indaba. Ngokuvamile ifuna eyona kanye eyenza njalo. Mhlawumbe indaba ithi omunye umuntu uwisile ibhola. Mhlawumbe ukuthi isikhathi besingenakwenzeka, isiqondiso besifiphele, omunye umuntu bekufanele azi kangcono. Ngezinye izikhathi indaba iphendukela ngaphakathi ibe nonya: *impela lokhu kwenzekile, lokhu kuhlala kwenzeka kimi.* Zombili izinhlobo zendaba zinento eyodwa efanayo. Zibeka isondo lokushayela endaweni ongeke ufinyelele kuyo.
Isondo, nokuthi ubani osibambile
Izazi zengqondo ziye zakufunda lokhu iminyaka engamashumi ayisithupha ngaphansi kwegama elithe ukuba nzima: indawo yokulawula (locus of control). Umqondo, owabekwa okokuqala nguJulian Rotter ngeminyaka yawo-1960, ukuthi ngamunye wethu uphethe inkolelo ejwayelekile ngokuthi kungani izinto zenzeka kithi. Abantu abanendawo yokulawula engaphakathi bavame ukuzizwa ukuthi izinqumo zabo yizo ezakha imiphumela yabo. Abantu abanendawo yokulawula engaphandle bavame ukuzizwa ukuthi imiphumela banikwa yona inhlanhla, abanye abantu, noma amandla abangenakuwathinta.
Iningi lethu alikhona ngokuphelele okukodwa noma okunye. Sishelela emugqeni kuye ngosuku nesimo. Kodwa indawo yethu yokuphumula kulowo mugqa ibaluleke kakhulu kunalokho ongakucabanga. Amashumi eminyaka ocwaningo ahlobanisa indawo yokulawula engaphakathi eqinile nokubhekana kangcono, ukuphikelela okwengeziwe, namazinga aphansi okucindezeleka nokukhathazeka, kuyilapho ukubheka okwengaphandle kakhulu kuhambisana nokungabi namandla nomuzwa wokubambeka. Ucwaningo olulodwa olukhulu lwathola ukuthi iphethini yayilinganisiwe futhi ihambisana: abantu ababika izimpawu ezingekho zokucindezeleka noma ukukhathazeka bathola amaphuzu angaphakathi kakhulu, kanti labo abanezimpawu ezinkulu kunazo zonke bathola amaphuzu angaphandle kakhulu.
Kufanele ukuqaphela lapha, ngoba lokhu kulula ukukusonta kube yinto elimazayo. Indawo yokulawula engaphakathi akuyona inkolelo yokuthi yonke into iyiphutha lakho. Izinto eziningi ngempela zingaphandle kwezandla zakho, futhi ukwenza sengathi akunjalo kuwuhlobo lwako lugibe. Inguqulo enempilo imincane futhi inomusa kakhulu. Kuyinkolelo yokuthi ngisho noma okuningi kungaphandle kokulawula kwakho, *okunye* kwakho akunjalo, nokuthi ingxenye ongayithinta ifanele ukuthintwa.
Cabanga umhlangano ohambe kabi. Bakhulunyelwa phezulu, isinqumo saya ngendlela engalungile, futhi wahamba ucasukile. Ukufunda kwangaphandle kuphelele futhi kuhlelekile: abazange balalele, izwi elinomsindo kakhulu lanqoba, kwakuqolwe kusukela ekuqaleni. Wonke amagama akho angaba yiqiniso, futhi kusakushiya ungenalutho ongakwenza. Ukufunda kwangaphakathi akukuphiki lokho. Kwengeza nje umugqa owodwa. Ngalinda kwaze kwaba sekugcineni ukuze ngisho iphuzu lami. Bengingathumela ukulandelela engingakuthumelanga. Ngokuzayo ngingakhuluma nomuntu obalulekile ngaphambi kokuba igumbi ligcwale. Akukho kwalezo zinyathelo okuqinisekisa umphumela ongcono. Zonke zingezakho, futhi yilowo umehluko. Indaba yangaphandle ichaza ukuthi kungani ulahlekelwe. Eyangaphakathi ikunika okuthile ozokuzama.
Leyo nkolelo emncane iyiyona njini yonke yokuthatha isibopho.
Kungani ukusola kuzwakala kukuhle futhi kubiza kakhulu
Ukusola kukhangayo ngesizathu. Lapho unika isibopho komunye umuntu noma kokunye, uthola impumuzo esheshayo. Awusekho engozini. Ukungakhululeki kunekhaya, futhi akuwena.
Inkinga yilokho ukusola okukwenzayo buthule ezinketheni zakho. Ngomzuzu inkinga eba yiphutha lomunye umuntu, akukho ongakwenza ngaphandle kokulinda ukuba bayilungise. Uzenze umgibeli esimweni sakho siqu. Futhi ukulinda, ikakhulukazi ukulindela abantu abangase bangalungi, kungenye yezindlela ezithembeke kunazo zonke zokuzizwa ungenamandla.
Kukhona inguqulo yalokhu ebuhlungu nakakhulu, leyo eqonde ngaphakathi. Ukuzisola kungazenza sengathi ukuthatha isibopho, kodwa ngokuvamile akunjalo. Ukuthatha isibopho kwangempela kubheke phambili futhi kungokoqobo: nakhu okungokwami, nasi isinyathelo sami esilandelayo. Ukuzisola kubheke emuva futhi kubambekile: nabu ubufakazi bokuthi ngiyinkinga. Okunye kuvula umnyango. Okunye kuyawuvala bese kufaka isihluthulelo ephaketheni. Uma uqaphela ukuthi "ukuthatha isibopho" kwakho kukhiqiza ihlazo kuphela kungakaze kukhiqize isinyathelo esilandelayo, lokho kuwuphawu lokuthi kuphenduke into ehlukile.
Lokhu kuwukuzihola ngaphambi kokuhola noma ubani
Kuyalinga ukufaka ukuthatha isibopho ngaphansi kweseluleko sasemsebenzini, uhlobo lwento umphathi ayishoyo emhlanganweni. Inguqulo ejulile iqala kudala ngaphambi kwakho konke lokho, endleleni obhekana ngayo nentambama yakho embi.
Umcwaningi wobuholi u-Amy Edmondson, oye wachitha umsebenzi wakhe efunda ukuthi amathimba abhekana kanjani namaphutha, wenza umehluko owusizo ngokufanayo kumuntu oyedwa njengoba unjalo enkampanini. Uchaza ukuziphendulela hhayi njengesijeziso, kodwa njengohlobo lokuthatha isibopho kwengqondo, ukuzibophezela kwangaphakathi kokwenza ongakwenza ukuze ufinyelele ezingeni okukhathalelayo ngempela. Okuphambene nalokho akukhona ukuphumula. Kungukuntweza. Kungukuvumela izinto zikwenzeke bese ukubiza ngenhlanhla embi.
U-Edmondson uqaphela ukukwehlukanisa lokhu nesiko lokusola. Kwesinye sezibonelo zakhe ezaziwa kakhulu, isibhedlela sasibhajwe kulokho abasebenzi baso ababekubiza ngokudabukisayo ngokuthi ama-ABC ezokwelapha: ukumangalela, ukusola, ukugxeka. Abantu babefihla amaphutha abo ngoba ukuvuma iphutha kwakusho ukudatshulwa. Umholi omusha washintsha umthetho. Wawungabika inkinga ngaphandle kokwesaba ukuhlaselwa ngokuyibika, futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo amazinga ahlala ephakeme. Amaphutha aphathwa njengento uhlelo olungafunda kuyo kunento umuntu okwakumele ajeziswe ngayo. Imibiko yakhuphuka, kanjalo nekhwalithi yomsebenzi.
Inguqulo yomuntu siqu yaleso sifundo iqondile. Ungazibamba ezingeni langempela ngaphandle kokuphendula konke ukukhubeka kube ubufakazi bokuthi uyehluleka. Empeleni, ungakwazi kuphela ukugcina amazinga aphezulu uma ungenzi kanjalo. Abantu abaphatha iphutha ngalinye njengenhlekelele ekugcineni bayeka ukuzama izinto, noma bayeka ukukhuluma iqiniso ngokuthi izinto zihamba kanjani, ngezinye izikhathi ngisho nakubo. Ukuthatha isibopho okwenziwe kahle kuqotho futhi kuzinzile ngesikhathi esisodwa. Kuthi: lokho akuhambanga ngendlela engangiyifuna, nansi ingxenye enginesibopho ngayo, nakhu engizokwenza ngokwehlukile. Bese kudedela okusele.
Indlela yokukwenza ngokungazishayi
Ukuthatha isibopho kungumsipha, hhayi ubuntu. Ukwakha ngemizuzu ejwayelekile, futhi ukwakha ngobumnene. Izindlela ezimbalwa zokuqala:
- Hlela isimo sibe yizinqwaba ezimbili. Lapho kukhona okuhamba budedengu, phefumula bese ukwehlukanisa: yini engaphakathi kokulawula kwami ngempela, neyini engekho. Iningi lezinto eziphithene ziyinhlanganisela. Iphuzu akukhona ukuthatha yonke into. Kungukuthola ikhona elingelakho ubeke amandla akho lapho esikhundleni sokuwabeka ezingxenyeni ongekwazi ukuzinyakazisa.
- Qaphela ulimi lwakho iviki. Qaphela ukuthi kukangaki uthi "bekumele," "bangenza," "bekungekho engangingakwenza." Ngezinye izikhathi lokho kuyiqiniso. Kaningi kungumkhuba. Zama ukufaka "ngikhethe ukuthi" ubone ukuthi kuhlala kanjani. Ngisho noma izinketho zazizimbi, ukuzibiza ngokuthi ngezakho kubuyisela isondo ezandleni zakho.
- Hlukanisa ukuzisola nesifundo. Kulungile ukuzizwa kabi ukuthi kukhona okuhambe kabi. Hlala nalokho isikhashana, bese ubuza umbuzo owusizo kakhulu: yini engingayenza ngokwehlukile ngokuzayo, ngokuqondile. Ukuzisola ongeke ukuguqule kube isinyathelo esilandelayo kuyisilonda nje osiqhubeka usivula kabusha.
- Yenza ukulungisa kube kuncane futhi kungokoqobo. Uma ukweleta umuntu isaxwayiso noma ukulungisa, esilula sinqoba lesi esiyinkimbinkimbi. "Ngakwenza lokho kabi, futhi ngiyaxolisa. Nakhu engizokulungisa ngakho." Akukho ncazelo ende, akukho mkhankaso wokuxolelwa. Ukukuthatha ngokuhlanzekile bese uqhubeka kufundisa abantu abakuzungezile ukuthi amaphutha angasindwa, okungenye yezinto ezinomusa kakhulu ongazibonisa.
- Zinike umusa ofanayo obungawunika umngane. Ungeke utshele umuntu omthandayo ukuthi umphumela owodwa omubi ufakazela ukuthi uyisehluleki. Izinga ozibamba kulo kufanele libe nalobo bufudu obufanayo ngaphansi kwalo. Liqinile, hhayi lonya.
Akukho kulokhu okudinga ukuba ube uhlobo lomuntu osekuqonde konke. Kucela nje ukuba uqhubeke ukhetha umbuzo okushiya nokuthile ongakwenza.
Okulula ukukudlula ukuthi lokhu kunwebeka kanjani. Njalo lapho uthola ikhona lakho lenkinga bese wenza ngalo, uqoqa incezwana yobufakazi bokuthi izenzo zakho zibalulekile. Yenza lokho izikhathi ezanele bese ubufakazi buyeka ukuba yinto okumele uziphikise ungene kuyo. Buba yindlela ozibona ngayo ngokuzenzakalelayo, umuzwa ozinzile wangaphakathi wokuthi ungumuntu ongathonya indlela izinto ezihamba ngayo. Yiwona kanye umkhombandlela wangaphakathi ucwaningo oluwuhlobanisa nokubhekana kangcono namazinga aphansi okukhathazeka nokucindezeleka, futhi akusona isimo somqondo onenhlanhla yokuba naso. Kuyinsalela yezinketho eziyinkulungwane ezijwayelekile zokufinyelela esondweni. Abantu abakuzungezile bakuzwa ngaphambi kokukubiza ngegama. Baqala ukukulethela izinto ezinzima, hhayi ngoba uhlala uzilungisa, kodwa ngoba awuhlakazeki futhi awuyi uyofuna umuntu wokusola. Yilokho ukuzihola okuyikho ngempela, futhi yingakho kufanele kwakhiwe kuwe ngaphambi kokuba kube usizo kunoma ubani omunye.
Lapho ukuthatha isibopho kungesona isixazululo
Kukhona umkhawulo wangempela lapha, futhi ubalulekile.
Uma uthola ukuthi uthatha isibopho sakho konke, kubandakanya nezinto ezazenziwe kuwe ngokusobala, lokho akuwona amandla. Ngemva kwezehlakalo ezithile, ikakhulukazi ukuhlukunyezwa, ukulinyazwa, noma ukukhathazeka okukhulu, umuzwa wokuzisola ungajula kakhulu uzwakale njengeqiniso. Akunjalo. Ezinye izinto ngempela akuzona ozozithwala, futhi akukho "bengingenzeni ngokwehlukile" okuzozenza zibe njalo. Ukuzehlukanisa lezo kunzima, futhi akuwona umsebenzi okumele uwenze wedwa.
Kuyafana nangalowo muzwa osindayo, obambekile lapho kungekho okubonakala kusekulawuleni kwakho noma ngabe ukubuka kanjani, lapho ukudlula usuku olujwayelekile kuthatha konke onakho. Leso simo esiyisicaba, esingenamandla singaba uphawu lokucindezeleka kunenkinga yendlela yakho yokucabanga, futhi siphendula ekwesekweni, hhayi ekuzameni kanzima kakhulu wedwa. Udokotela noma umelaphi angakusiza ukwehlukanisa okungokwakho kokungekho, futhi bangasiza ngesisindo nganoma iyiphi indlela. Ukufinyelela kuhlobo olunjalo losizo ngokwako kuyisenzo sokuthatha isibopho. Kunguwe uthatha isinyathelo esisodwa esikhona, okuvame ukuba yikho konke ukuthatha isibopho okukucelayo.
Isithembiso esithulile kukho konke lokhu ukuthi kuyivela kancane ukuba ubambeke njengoba indaba embi kunazo zonke ekhanda lakho iphikelela ukuthi unjalo. Cishe njalo kukhona ikhona lesimo elinegama lakho kulo. Thola lelo khona. Qala lapho.
Imithombo
- Simply Psychology, Locus of Control Theory In Psychology: Internal vs External
- SSM - Population Health (PubMed Central), Locus of control, self-control, and health outcomes
- Amy C. Edmondson, Psychological Safety Does Not Equal "Anything Goes"
- Harvard Business Review, How a New Leader Broke Through a Culture of Accuse, Blame, and Criticize