Uvalo Lokukhuluma Phambi Kwabantu: Indlela Yokuthobisa Ukwesaba Ngaphambi Kokuba Ukhulume

Ngobusuku ngaphambili, awukwazi ukulala. Ekuseni kwalolo suku, awukwazi ukudla. Futhi emizuzwini embalwa yokugcina ngaphambi kokuba usukume, inhliziyo yakho ishaya njengokungathi usanda kugijima izitebhisi, izandla zakho zimanzi, futhi kukhona izwi elincane, eliqinisekile elikutshela ukuthi usuzozihlazisa phambi kwabo bonke obaziyo.

Into yokuqala efanele ukushiwo: usemphakathini omkhulu. Ukwesaba ukukhuluma phambi kwabanye kungenye yezinto ezesabekayo ezijwayeleke kakhulu abantu abazibikayo, nqamu. Abantu abaningi ababukeka bekhululekile ngokuphelele esiteji bazwa kanye lokho okuzwayo ngasemuva kwesiteji. Inkulumo ecwebezelayo obuyithanda cishe yayinehora elizamazamayo, elijulukayo ngaphambi kwayo. Ukuzola ngaphandle cishe akusho nhlobo ukuzola ngaphakathi. Kusho ukuzejwayeza.

Leli akulona iphutha esimilweni sakho, futhi akulona uphawu lokuthi awenzelwe lo msebenzi. Kuyingxenye endala kakhulu yezintambo yenza kanye lokho eyakhelwe ukukwenza, ngomzuzu omubi kunayo yonke.

Kungani umzimba wakho uphatha inkulumo njengengozi

Enkathini eningi yomlando wesintu, ukubukwa eduze yiqembu kwakusho ukuthi kukhona okusengozini. Ukuba yingxenye yeqembu kwakukugcina uphila; ukwahlulelwa nokulahlwa ngaphandle kwakungakwenzi. Uhlelo lwakho lwezinzwa alukaze luyithole incwadi yokuthi isibuyekezo sekota akusona indaba yokusinda. Ngakho lapho ubuso obuyishumi nambili buphendukela kuwe, insimbi yokuxwayisa efanayo ebizoshaya ukube ungene phambi kwemoto iyashaya esikhundleni salokho.

I-adrenaline ingena ngesikhukhula. Inhliziyo yakho iyashesha ukuze ihambise igazi emisipheni yakho. Umoya wakho uba sheshayo futhi ungajuli. Igazi lidonseka lisuka ezandleni zakho nasesiswini sakho, okuyisizathu sokuthi izintende zakho zibe zibandayo nesisu sakho siwe. Futhi ingxenye yobuchopho bakho ecabangayo, ehlelayo iyathula ukuze ingxenye esheshayo, esabelayo ithathe izintambo. Leyo yokugcina yiyona ngxenye elunya. Ngomzuzu kanye lapho udinga amazwi akho kakhulu, uhlelo luboleka izinsiza obuzozisebenzisa ukuwathola, bese uzwa ingqondo yakho icima.

Akukho kwalokho okusho ukuthi kukhona okonakele. Kusho ukuthi umzimba wakho uphatha lokhu njengokubalulekile. Umgomo akuwona ukucisha insimbi yokuxwayisa ngokuphelele. Ingcosana yalawo mandla iyakulola ngempela. Umgomo ukwehlisa umsindo ufike lapho ungakwazi ukucabanga.

Ukubuka kabusha okwenza umsebenzi omkhulu

Nakhu ukushintsha okuncane okuzwakala kulula kakhulu ukuze kubaluleke, kanti akunjalo.

Umuzwa womzimba wokwesaba nomuzwa womzimba wokujabula cishe uyafana. Inhliziyo eshayayo, umoya osheshayo, amandla anovevezelo, umuzwa wokuthi kukhona okukhulu okuzokwenzeka. Umzimba wenza cishe into efanayo kukho kokubili. Okwehlukile yindaba oyibeka phezu kwakho.

Lapho uzitshela ukuthi "ngethukile," ulwa nomzimba wakho, uzama ukucindezela insimbi yokuxwayisa phansi, futhi impi ngokwayo yengeza isendlalelo sesibili sengcindezi. Lapho uzitshela ukuthi "ngishisekele lokhu," uvumela amandla afanayo ahambe ngendlela ewusizo. Awudingi ukukukholwa ngokuphelele. Ukukusho nje ngokuzwakalayo, ngisho ngokuthula, kunika ubuchopho bakho incazelo engesabeki kangako ngalokho okwenziwa yinhliziyo yakho.

Okunye ukubuka kabusha okufanele ukugcinwa: izethameli akusona isitha sakho. Abantu egumbini imvamisa bafuna isikhulumi senze kahle. Abazingeli amaphutha akho. Bathemba ukuthi uzokufanelekela ukulalelwa ukuze isikhathi sabo singamoshwa. Iningi labo likhululekile kancane ukuthi nguwe olapha phezulu hhayi bona.

Okumele ukwenze ezinsukwini ezingaphambili

Uvalo lunciphe ngokushesha kakhulu lapho kunokuncane okungaziwa okumele kwesatshwe. Okuningi okusebenzayo kwenzeka isikhathi eside ngaphambi kokuba usukume.

• Yazi izinto zakho ngokuphelele. I-Mayo Clinic ibeka ukulungiselela phezulu ohlwini ngesizathu: ngokuthi wazi kangcono lokho okushoyo, futhi ngokuthi ukukhathalela kangakanani, ncane ithuba lokuthi ulahlekelwe indawo yakho noma uphazamiseke. Hlela okuzokhuluma. Yazi umugqa wakho wokuvula ngenhliziyo.
• Zilolonge ngokuzwakalayo, umile, ngaphezu kwalokho okubonakala kudingekile. Ukufunda amanothi akho ngokuthula akulona ikhono elifanayo nokusho amagama umile, uzwa izwi lakho emoyeni. Kwenze umngane, ifoni yakho, isibuko, igumbi elingenalutho. Inguqulo yakho esishilo le misho amashumi amabili izinze kakhulu kunaleyo eyisho okokuqala phambi kwesixuku.
• Ungabhali umbhalo okumele uwufunde. Umbhalo wegama-negama ukwenza isithunjwa sokubhalwa okukodwa okuqondile, futhi ngomzuzwana olahlekelwa indawo yakho uyethuka. Khuluma ohlwini olufushane lwamaphuzu esikhundleni salokho. Wazi okuningi kunalokho ocabangayo; kwethembe ukuthi kuzophuma.
• Hlola igumbi uma ungakwazi. Yima lapho uzoma khona. Thola ukuthi amanzi akuphi. Ukwazi indawo kususa izimangaliso ezincane eziyishumi nambili ebezizongeza phezu kovalo lwakho ngaleso sikhathi.
• Hlela imizuzwana yakho engamashumi ayisithupha yokuqala kahle kakhulu. Ukwesaba kufinyelela phezulu kanye ngaphambi kokuba uqale nasemizuzwini yokuvula. Uma unaso isiqalo ezinhlelweni, uhamba udlule esimeni esibi kunazo zonke ngokuzenzakalela, futhi umzimba wakho uzinza uma usubona ukuthi akukho okubi okwenzekayo.

Okumele ukwenze ngaleso sikhathi

Lapho uvalo lufika noma kunjalo, futhi luzofika, unezibambo eziningi kunalokho okuzwakala ngakho.

1. Yehlisa isvinini sokuphefumulela phandle. Leli yithuluzi elisheshayo onalo. Ngaphambi kokusukuma, phefumula kahle kancane bese wenza ukuphefumulela phandle kube kude kunokuphefumulela ngaphakathi. Ukuphefumulela phandle okude, okuhamba kancane kuyisiginali eqondile ohlelweni lwakho lwezinzwa ukuthi isimo esiphuthumayo sesiphelile. Ngeke kwenze umuzwa unyamalale, kodwa kwehlisa isicongo.
2. Beka izinyawo zakho phansi bese uzizwa. Ukukhathazeka kuhlala phezulu esifubeni sakho nasekhanda. Ukuqaphela ngamabomu izinyawo zakho, isisindo sakho, umhlaba, kudonsa okunye ukunaka kwakho kubuyele phansi emzimbeni wakho kuphume esizungezweni sokuthi "kuthiwani uma."
3. Bheka ubuso obunomusa. Cishe ngaso sonke isikhathi kukhona abantu abambalwa abanqekuzisa amakhanda, abamamathekayo, abanawe. Bathole kusenesikhathi bese ukhuluma kubo. Ungabheki ubuso obudinwe noma obungabazayo bese udlalela bona.
4. Vumela ukuma kokuqala kulunge. Ukuthula kuzwakala njengonaphakade kuwe futhi njengesikhashana kwabanye bonke. Uma ulahlekelwa indawo yakho, yima, bheka amanothi akho, uphefumule, bese uphinde uqhubeke. Izethameli zifunda ukuma okuzolile njengokuzethemba, hhayi ukwehluleka.
5. Yehlisa isivinini. Uvalo lusenza sisheshe, futhi ukusheshe kusenza siphelelwe umoya, okondla uvalo. Khuluma kancane kunalokho okuzwakala kungokwemvelo. Kukuthengela isikhathi sokucabanga futhi kufundwa njengokuzola.
6. Gcina ukugxila kwakho emlayezweni, hhayi kuwe. Isizungezo siba sibi kakhulu lapho konke ukunaka kwakho kusekutheni ubukeka kanjani. Kubeke entweni okhona ukuze uyisho nakubantu oyisho kubo. Kukhona okunikayo. Kunike.

Amazwi ngezinto abantu abazifinyelelayo ukuze bathobise. Ingilazi yewayini ngaphambili ivame ukubuya nomonakalo; ingafiphaza ukukhumbula okusebenze kanzima ukukwakha. I-caffeine enhliziyweni esivele iyashesha ivame ukwenza izimpawu zomzimba zibe zimkhulu, hhayi zithule. Yenza kahle kukho kokubili ngaphambi kokuba ukhulume.

Izimpawu ozesabayo, ngayinye ngayinye

Ingxenye enkulu yokwesaba ayikho ngempela ngenkulumo. Imayelana nento ethile, ebonakalayo eyonakala emzimbeni wakho phambi kwabo bonke. I-National Institute of Mental Health ibala lezi njengezimpawu zakudala zovalo lokusebenza, ukubomvu ebusweni, ukujuluka, ukuqhaqhazela, inhliziyo esheshayo, izwi eliqhaqhazelayo, ingqondo ecimayo. Kufanele wazi ukuthi ngayinye iyini nokuthi yini esizayo.

• Izwi eliqhaqhazelayo. Izwi eliqhaqhazelayo livela esifubeni esiqinile nasekuphefumuleni okubanjiwe, hhayi ebuthakathakeni. Isixazululo siphambene nomqondo ojwayelekile: phefumula ngezansi futhi kancane, bese uvumela imisho yakho yokuqala ibe leyo osuyisho kwikhulu lezikhathi ukuze ungabuye uzame kanzima ukukhumbula. Ukuqhaqhazela cishe ngaso sonke isikhathi kuzinza phakathi komzuzu uma ukuphefumula kwakho sekulingana.
• Ingqondo ecimile. Lena yileyo abantu abayesaba kunazo zonke, futhi yinsimbi yokuxwayisa eyenza umsebenzi wayo kahle kakhulu kancane. Uma kwenzeka, yima. Bheka amanothi akho. Phefumula. Phinda umusho wakho wokugcina uma kudingeka. Imizuzwana embalwa yokuthula izwakala njengonaphakade kuwe futhi njengento engelutho egumbini. Ukucima kudlula ngokushesha kakhulu lapho ungethuki ngokucima.
• Izandla ezithuthumelayo. Zinike umsebenzi. Bamba ikhadi elincane, i-clicker, unqenqema lwepulpiti, kancane. Izandla ezingasebenzi ziqhaqhazela ngokubonakalayo kakhulu kunezimatasa, futhi ukubamba okuqinile kunika uvevezelo indawo yokuya.
• Ukubomvu ebusweni nokujuluka. Nansi ingxenye ekhululayo: uzizwa lezi kakhulu kunokuthi noma ubani azibone. Lokho okuzwakala njengesithando ebusweni bakho imvamisa akubonakali usukude ngamafidi ayishumi. Ukuzama ukuvimba ukubomvu kwengeza ingcindezi kuphela. Ukukuvumela kube khona, uqhubeke, yikho okwenza kufiphale.
• Inhliziyo eshaya ngamandla. Awukwazi ukuyiphoqa ukuba ihambe kancane, kodwa ungakwazi ukwelula ukuphefumulela kwakho phandle, okuyitshela kamnene ukuthi ingozi iyadlula. Khumbula ukuthi izethameli azikwazi ukuzwa ukushaya kwenhliziyo yakho. Into ezwakala inkulu kakhulu ngaphakathi kwakho iyimfihlo ngokuphelele.

Isingqi kuzo zonke siyafana. Ukulwa nophawu kuluphakela. Ukuluvumela, ngenkathi uqhubeka wenza into, kuluvumela ludlule ngokwalo.

Kuya kuba lula, futhi lokho akusona isisho nje

Ikhambi elithembeke kakhulu lalokhu kwesaba yiyona nto ukwesaba okufuna kakhulu ukuba uyigweme: ukukwenza futhi. Njalo lapho ukhuluma uphinde usinde, futhi uzosinda, ubuchopho bakho buqoqa ubufakazi bokuthi inhlekelele ebibikezela ayifikanga. Odokotela bengqondo babiza inguqulo ehlelekile yalokhu ngokuvezwa, futhi kuyingxenye ebalulekile yendlela ukwesaba ukukhuluma phambi kwabantu okwelashwa ngayo. Ukubuyekezwa okukhulu kokwelashwa kwengqondo kwathola ukuthi, ezindleleni eziningi, abantu abathola usizo babangcono ngempela, futhi, ngokumangalisayo, baqhubeka bethuthuka ngisho nangemva kokuphela kokwelashwa. Ikhono lakheka ngokuthulile ngasemuva.

Ungazenzela ithuba ngokuqala kancane. Buza umbuzo emhlanganweni. Nikeza umnqweno omhle. Khuluma eqenjini labantu abathathu ngaphambi kokukhathazeka ngeqembu labangamashumi amathathu. Ukuphinda ngakunye kuyisibambiso esincane, futhi kuhlangana ngokushesha kakhulu kunalokho obungakuqagela.

Uma kungaphezu kovalo

Kwabantu abaningi, uvalo lokukhuluma phambi kwabantu aluntofontofo futhi lulawuleka ngokuphelele. Kwabanye, ukwesaba kusinda kunalokho. Uma uvalo lunamandla kangangokuthi wenqaba amathuba, ushintsha izinhlelo zakho, noma uhlele ngokuthulile umsebenzi wakho nempilo yakho ngokungakaze udinge ukukhuluma, lokho kufanele kunakwe. Ukwesaba izimo zokusebenza ezinjengalezi kungaba yingxenye yovalo lwezenhlalo, olujwayelekile, olungokoqobo, futhi olwelapheka kakhulu.

Awukho umklomelo wokuziphoqa wedwa. Uma lolu valo lukubiza izinto ozikhathalelayo, ingxoxo nodokotela wakho noma udokotela wengqondo iyisinyathelo esinengqondo, esijwayelekile. Ukwelashwa ngokukhuluma, ikakhulukazi uhlobo olukusiza ubhekane nokwesaba ngamathamo amancane, asekelwe, lunerekhodi eliqinile lapha. Ukufinyelela ukucela usizo akusona ukuvuma ukuthi uphukile. Yindlela izikhulumi eziningi ezizethembayo ezaba ngayo kanjalo.

Awudingi ukuthanda ukuma phambi kwegumbi. Udinga nje ukukwazi ukukwenza lapho kubalulekile, izandla zakho zizinze kancane nemicabango yakho ibe ngeyakho. Lokho kusenqophweni, futhi kuseduze kunalokho ukwesaba obekungakwenza ukukholwe.

Imithombo

• Mayo Clinic, Fear of public speaking: How can I overcome it?
• National Institute of Mental Health, Social Anxiety Disorder: More Than Just Shyness
• Frontiers in Psychology (via PubMed Central), Psychological Interventions for the Fear of Public Speaking: A Meta-Analysis