Amathiphu asheshayo
- Yenza ukuphefumulela phandle kwakho kube kude kunokuphefumulela ngaphakathi.
- Nquma ukufunda into eyodwa ngothile.
- Beka umgomo omncane: hlala imizuzu engamashumi amane nanhlanu.
Ukwesaba kuvame ukuvela kusenesikhathi. Amahora ngaphambi kwesidlo, ngezinye izikhathi ngobusuku obedlule, uzibamba usebenzisa izigcawu ezincane ekhanda lakho: ukuthula emva kokuba usho into engalungile, umzuzu ongazi ukuthi umele kuphi, ubuso othile abenzayo. Akukho kwako okwenzekile. Kodwa usuvele uzilungiselela kona.
Lokho kuzilungiselela yiyona ngxenye ekukhandlayo. Ngesikhathi ufika ngempela, usuphile inguqulo embi izikhathi eziyishumi nambili, futhi umzimba wakho ubuqaphile kuzo zonke. Izindaba ezinhle ezembozwe kulokho zifanele ukushiwo ngokusobala: isikhathi esinzima kunazo zonke ngokuvamile ukulinda, hhayi umcimbi. Uma ususegumbini ukhuluma nomuntu wangempela, ukwesaba ngokuvamile kunokuncane okuzokudla kunalokho umcabango wakho owenza.
Uma lokhu kujwayelekile, unabaningi abakanye nawe. Ukukhathazeka ngezimo zenhlalo izinsuku noma ngisho amasonto ngaphambi kokuba zenzeke kungenye yezimpawu ezivamile kakhulu zokukhathazeka kwenhlalo, futhi kukhulu kakhulu kunamahloni ajwayelekile. Kuvame ukuqala kusesebancane, ngokuvamile ebuntwaneni noma eminyakeni yobusha, futhi kungabumba izinqumo ngokuthula isikhathi eside emva kwalokho. Awubuntekenteke. Usabela ezintanjeni ezathatha ingozi ngokungqongqo kakhulu ndawana thize endleleni.
Kungani umzimba wakho usabela ngaphambi kokuthi kwenzeke okuthile
Nansi into ngohlelo lwezinzwa: alulindi ubufakazi. Umcabango nje wokubukwa, wokwahlulelwa, noma ukubanjwa ungasusa umkhosi ofanayo ingozi yangempela engawususa. Inhliziyo yakho iyasheshisa. Ubuso bakho buyafudumala. Izandla zakho zingahle zithuthumele kancane, isisu sakho siyaphenduka, ingqondo yakho iba ngengenalutho ngendlela engajwayelekile ncamashi lapho uyifuna icijile. Lezo yizibonakaliso zomzimba zasezincwadini, futhi akusona isinqumo ngendlela ubusuku obuzohamba ngayo. Kuwumzimba wakho olungiselela impi engezi.
Inkinga ukuthi izimpawu ziba yinkinga yazo. Uzwa ubuso bakho bushisa, ucabanga ukuthi wonke umuntu uyakubona, unquma ukuthi lokho kufakazela ukuthi kukhona okungalungile ngawe, futhi umkhosi uxokozela kakhulu. Ukwesaba kuzondla ngokwesaba. Ukwazi ukuthi lowo mjikelezo ukhona kuwukwephuka kokuqala kuwo. Uma inhliziyo yakho ishaya emotweni ngaphambi kokuba ungene, ungakuqamba ngento okuyiyo. Lokhu ukufudumeza, hhayi inhlekelele.
Ukukhathazeka kuzama ukwenzani
Iningi lokwesaba kwangaphambi kwenhlalo yingqondo yakho ezama ukukugcina uphephile ngokubikezela ikusasa. Kuyenza umsebenzi kabi kakhulu nje. Kugcwalisa izikhala ngezimo ezimbi kunazo zonke bese kuziveza njengamaqiniso.
Ochwepheshe banamagama acacile alemikhuba emibili. Owodwa ukubikezela, lapho uphatha ukuqagela ngokuzokwenzeka njengokungathi sekwenzekile. Omunye ukufunda ingqondo, lapho unquma ukuthi uyazi lokho othile akucabangayo ngawe ngaphandle kwabufakazi bangempela. "Bazocabanga ukuthi ngiyabhora." "Wonke umuntu uzoqaphela ukuthi nginovalo." Lokhu kuzwakala njengolwazi. Kuyizibikezelo, futhi izibikezelo zingaba ngamaphutha.
Awudingi ukuphikisana nezinkathazo zakho zize zithule. Udinga nje ukuyeka ukuzithatha njengeqiniso. Umcabango ungumcabango. Akulona iqiniso, futhi akusona isibikezelo.
Izinto ezimbalwa ezisiza ngempela ngaphambili
Akukho kulezi okuzokwenza uvalo lunyamalale, futhi akusona umgomo. Umgomo ukwehlisa ivolumu ngokwanele ukuze ukwazi ukungena ube nguwe. Khetha okukodwa noma okubili. Ukuzama konke kanyekanye kuwuhlobo lwako lwengcindezi.
- Cothisa ukuphefumulela phandle ngaphambi kokungena. Hlala umzuzu wenze ukuphefumulela phandle kwakho kube kude kunokuphefumulela ngaphakathi. Ukuphefumulela phandle okude, okucothayo kungezinye zamaswishi ambalwa aqondile onawo okutshela umzimba wakho ukuthi ingozi iphelile. Okuthathu noma okune kwako emotweni noma ephaseji ngokuvamile kwanele ukwehlisa amahlombe akho i-intshi.
- Qamba ukukhathazeka, bese ukuvivinya. Bamba isibikezelo ngamagama. "Nginesiqiniseko ukuthi ngeke ngibe nalutho engingakusho." Bese ubuza, ngobumnene, ukuthi uyakwazi ngempela lokho, noma uyabikezela. Awuzami ukuwina impikiswano. Uxegisa nje ukubamba.
- Zinike umsebenzi okhomba phandle. Ukukhathazeka kwenhlalo kusebenza ngokuziqapha, leyo khamera yangaphakathi ekhandlayo eqondiswe ebusweni bakho nasezwini lakho. Qondisa ukunaka kwakho kubantu abanye kunalokho. Nquma kusenesikhathi ukufunda into eyodwa yangempela ngothile, noma ukubuza umbuzo wesibili emva kokuba bephendule owokuqala. Ukufuna ukwazi nokuziqaphela akukwazi ukuhlala kalula egumbini elilodwa.
- Yehlisa izinga ngamabomu. Awudingi ukuba mnandi. Awudingi ukuba ngumuntu othakazelisayo kunabo bonke lapho. "Ngizohlala imizuzu engamashumi amane nanhlanu ngikhulume nabantu ababili" kuwubusuku obuhle. Ukunciphisa umgomo kunciphisa ingozi.
- Yeqa amathuluzi owencika kuwo ukuze unyamalale. Ukucasha efonini yakho, ukuzilolongela wonke umusho, ukuma eduze komnyango wokuphuma, ukukhuluma nomuntu oyedwa kuphela osumazi. Lokhu kuzwakala kuvikela, futhi emzuzwini kuyavikela. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi kufundisa ubuchopho bakho ngokuthula ukuthi isimo besiyingozi ngempela futhi wasinda kuphela ngokucasha. Ukuxegisa okukodwa kwako, kancane nje, yiyona ndlela ukwesaba okuqala ngayo ukuncipha unomphelo.
Endleleni ebuyela ekhaya, qaphela ukudlala kabusha
Kukhona ukuqhamuka kwesibili abantu abaningi abangakulindeli: ukuhlaziya kwangemva. Ufika ekhaya, ukhululekile ukuthi kuphelile, bese ingqondo yakho iqala ukudlala kabusha isekhondi ngasinye okuthiwa besingakhululekisi ngokunensa. Lokho kubuyekeza kuzwakala njengokwethembeka. Cishe kuhlala kuyisihluku esigqoke njengako.
Ukudlala kabusha ukukhathazeka kunelizwi lokugcina. Kudonsa amasekhondi amabili abezwakala engathambile bese ukhipha imizuzu engamashumi amabili ebilungile. Uma ukwazi, qaphela lapho kuqala bese wenqaba isimemo. Uhambile. Uhlalile. Lokho kuyabalwa, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi noma yimuphi umzuzu owodwa uhambe kahle kangakanani.
Uma uvalo lungaphezu kovalo
Ukulindela okuncane ngaphambi kwento enkulu yenhlalo kungokwabantu, futhi akuwona wonke amavevezelo adinga igama noma isixazululo. Kodwa kunomugqa ofanele ukuwuqapha. Uma ukwesaba kuqondisa impilo yakho, uma udela umsebenzi, isikole, ubungani, noma izinto oyifuna ngempela ngoba ingxenye yenhlalo izwakala ingabekezeleleki, lokho kufanele ukuthathwe ngokungqongqo. Kuyafana uma ukwesaba kuvela ngezimo ezijwayelekile njengokushaya ucingo noma ukuthenga into ekhawunteni, noma uma sekuphethe umbukiso iminyaka.
Ukukhathazeka kwenhlalo kuvamile, kuyaqondakala, futhi kuphendula kahle ekwelashweni. Ukwelashwa ngengxoxo okwakhelwe kukho, ikakhulukazi i-cognitive behavioral therapy, kunobufakazi obuqinile, futhi kwabanye abantu imithi nayo iyasiza. Udokotela noma umeluleki angakusiza ukuthola okufanele. Ukufinyelela akusona isibonakaliso sokuthi wehlulekile ukuphatha lokhu wedwa. Kuyisinyathelo esinengqondo enkingeni enkulu kunalokho isivivinyo sokuphefumula esasihloselwe ukukuxazulula.
Okwamanje, isikhathi esilandelayo uhleli emotweni uzikhulumela ukuthi ungangeni, ungazama ukuhlala isikhathi eside kancane kunalokho ukwesaba okukufunayo. Inguqulo yakusihlwa esekhanda lakho iyona embi kunazo zonke. Eyangempela ngokuvamile ayinjalo.
Imithombo
- National Institute of Mental Health, Social Anxiety Disorder: More Than Just Shyness
- NHS, Social anxiety (social phobia)
- Mayo Clinic, Social anxiety disorder (social phobia): Symptoms and causes